Merry's hands balled into fists, and his eyes felt like they'd burn right out of his skull. "But all my friends have ridden to battle. I would be ashamed to be left behind. Why did you take me on as swordthain if not to ride into battle at your side?"
Theoden looked down at him, his face gentle. "I took you on for your own safety, and to have you do as I bid. No more arguments, Merry."
Merry was left alone in his small tent as the armies went on preparing around him. "I won't be left behind to be called on return. I won't!" He paced the small walls of his tent and then out the door again, his sword in his hand and his mind made up. He would sneak. He would mount his little pony and ride ahead, and then after when they had caught him up and past him.
"You wish to ride to war with the king. I can see it in your eyes."
Merry turned back and saw eyes on him, young and strange under helmet and helm. "I do."
"Then you will ride with me. I will carry you under my cloak until we have ridden far afield."
Merry clutched his sword, letting out a breath of relief. "Thank you, sir, though I don't know your name." He recognized him nonetheless - a young man hidden under helmet who he had caught sight of earlier - a man who rode without hope, who rode to his death and seemed to want nothing else but that.
Merry was horrified when he saw such a look in someone so young before, but now...now he understood it. His friends were all gone to their own fates, their own deaths, most probably. And there was never time...never time to do what he needed. Never time to make any real connections. If the world was going to end after these battles, why prolong his fate? Why have a constant brush with the good part of life if it was only going to be robbed from him before he could enjoy it?
It seemed pointless. Like going on, simply existing instead of living. Whatever kind of life was possible in such a dark land during such a terrible time wasn't life, not to him.
He felt a kinship to this soldier suddenly, and he clutched his sword in his hand and felt grimness coming over him. "Thank you."