Tears I Cry
By Seniya
Suffer not the little children to come onto me;
for such is the kingdom of heaven.
Chapter Three
…
Time is a peculiar master. It takes us, from birth; almost always unwilling in its grasp and then it forces us along on its travels.
During this journey of course; we age, grow wiser. We loose ours hopes and our families; memories are carried off with the winds.
And yet, time never stops. Not when we cry, not when we curse it.
It keeps moving, running it seems, from a master so terrible that it knows it can never escape it. And just like that, because time refuses to release us, we must elude this villain as well.
Death, of course is what I refer to. But is it as villainous as I say?
Some would scorn my words; for just as there are those people who fear death, there are just as many who crave it. They worship its magnificent power, and pray for the day when time will finally grow tired of their increasing weight and release them, allowing death's hand to close around their throats.
And it is for those chosen few that time pauses and occasionally---mourns.
…
…
…
His room was in the west wing. He had moved there to avoid the sunlight, it was a desperate maneuver, and one he wasn't proud of. Cowardice was not a word he would have liked to be associated with his reign.
By all means, he had a reputation to uphold.
The darkness wasn't comforting. It heightened his senses and reminded him of exactly how much he had to fear. Assassination was at the top of that list. And although success was unlikely, it would still be foolish to let his guard down.
He jolted at the realization of another in his presence.
"My King" said a hiss, which Phobos greeted, with his usual familiarity.
"Cedric, what news do you bring me?"
A grunt came from his friend and he slowly answered "It's the rebels, my lord; they are demanding the...queen"
His face tightened in response, and the blood suddenly sounded much louder in his ears. But when he spoke it was with a forced calm.
"After all of this time...they come in this light?"
The other man laughed shortly. "I didn't know that you knew of the sun in your chambers...I will say this of your trick; it has made life for the rebels...difficult"
"Well---have you not told them that the girl is dead?" Phobos turned to face the other, his gaze burning into his features; it would have made any lesser man quake.
"There are never many words between sides my King" a grim smile formed on his thin lips. "But they seem to know that she is alive, they must be able to sense the crystal, somehow"
"I doubt that they can, if they could then why only come for her now" he replied, but still the news troubled him.
"Sire, perhaps, to avoid confusion, we should simply give them the girl, we have gotten what we wanted from her, and truly there is no real need for her now"
When Phobos didn't respond, Cedric continued.
"I do not think that you realize exactly how badly our forces were injured during our last fight...disease prospers within our ranks...it would be such a waste of man power if a battle were to come from this...and one will, I have heard rumors that another guardian is within their ranks; she will not stop until she has her leader back"
…
Words floated through the space, chilling those whose ears they reached. "Since when have you cared about man power...tell them that she is dead; if they persist, slaughter them all, it should have been done years ago anyway"
Cedric nodded; his face grim. He hated to see his ruler like this...over a woman; no, a girl.
"My lord, if I may be so bold" he didn't wait for a reply, "Why keep the girl here, it is like I've said she serves no further use to us---she is pretty, yes but all this" he gestured towards the walls.
"All this because she pleases your eyes...that's all it can be, after all of this time I have seen that you have yet to enjoy her company" he finished with relish, allowing his last phrases to hang in the stagnant air.
Phobos moved closer to his confidant, when he spoke it was slowly, menacingly.
"She must be kept alive for my powers to function, if she dies then my strength will go with her; she's a tool Cedric, nothing more"
He had spoken so carefully that he almost believed himself.
He knew enough about spells to know that they could last long after death; especially in this case. But still he refused to hand the girl over, she was his.
His wife…even if they had no proof of it.
And no one would take her away from him.
He would make sure of that.
…
Yes. The girl was safer here; if she went to the rebels she might gain enough confidence to attack him. And she actually might win.
He sighed at Cedric's acceptance to the lie. Gods he wished it were all true, at least then he would have a reason for keeping her here, and a hope that he wasn't completely weak. But truthfully there was no reason, none that he would care to examine in any case.
A closer look might show him all that he feared, a fiery mass of emotions melting the ice of his heart.
"And in further conversations Cedric, you would do well not to question my decisions again"
"Yes sir" he hissed, glowering. "I shall prepare the men for battle" and he walked away.
Leaving Phobos once again alone in the darkness.
…
…
Inside another chamber, Will's mind had finally succumbed to the tiredness plaguing it. Her breathing slowed, while her mind ran. She could see them all, screaming, bleeding...dying. Their crimson coated hands reached towards her porcelain skin, praying for salvation. She could not--would not grant them that.
A smile crossed her face, freezing those already cold from the night air. Then she laughed, and in that moment she sounded so much like him...that it pleased her immensely.
Fantasy snapped soon after that, and she soon found herself drenched in sweat, confined by her sheets. The iron of her chains lay molten on the floor.
…
Sounds from outside drifted through her window. They mimicked the one's she had only just heard in her slumber...only now the overpowering clang of metal was there as well.
She flew to the window, using the wings she had forgotten she owned. Outside she could see the great mass of black, the weapons glinting in the retreating sunlight. Her eyes darted through the crowd, ending at a face she recognized.
"Taranee!" she yelled, the hysteria was obvious in her screams. The other girl heard; and she rose from her post immediately, darting upwards to hover in front of her leader. Relief was written all over her features. She looked...older, somehow.
"Will, oh my god...you're alive" she reached towards the space in the window, but recoiled as a jolt of electricity surged into her hands.
"Taranee...I couldn't see the others...where are they?"
"They're...gone Will...it's just us now...Caleb's here too, but the others are gone..." her voice trailed away, leaving a misty glaze in her dark eyes.
"How..." she voiced the bitterness in Taranee's face.
"There's no time" she had driven back the momentary stupor "We need you, my powers aren't as strong as they used to be, I can't do this alone anymore...we have to defeat Phobos, we need the crystal"
Will backed away from her as if stung. The happiness that she had just felt evaporated in an instant. What had made her believe things would be any different.
"How did you know I was alive?" she heard herself asking.
"What...Will, I sensed you...I guess--look there's no time for this...we have to leave!"
"No" tears began to rain from her eyes, clouding Taranee's face.
"What do you mean no..." She moved once to dodge an arrow, and then to fire a beam in reprisal. "Will did he hurt you...are you scared..."
She shook her head, and then realizing that her bed was right behind her, she sat, smiling vaguely.
"He wasn't the one who hurt me" she finished simply, and then covered her face with her hands.
"Will...I don't understand...you need to come...use your powers to help me break the walls!"
"No!" she stood up, retrieving the crystal beneath her blouse. "I'm not leaving...at least here people don't pretend that they give a damn about me!"
"Will...calm down...of course we care about you...look outside...we're doing all of this for you!" tears appeared behind the girl's glasses.
"No, you're not...I'm sick of this!" the crystal had begun to burn her hands, but she did not release it. "All you want is this...it's all anyone ever wants; I'm just second prize!"
"Please, Will" she moved again as another arrow darted past her, this time much closer than before.
"Just go Taranee" she moved back to her bed.
"No Will...not without you, I can't...please"
"Then take it!" the heart left her scalded fingers, and made its way across the room with deadly accuracy. It seemed to pause in front of the barrier between the girls, but then it darted forward, and magic combined with a horrible light.
…
She didn't even get the chance to scream. The earth trembled, the winds screamed, the moon smiled, and the guardian of fire fell.
She landed in the mist of the fighting, and was swallowed up immediately by the shadows.
…
"Taranee!" Will screamed. The sound was not met with a response, only the mocking story of her echo.
"Oh God" she fell to her knees, knowing exactly what she had done. Suddenly, a low humming filled her ears; its melody was melancholy, like the lament of a dream.
The crystal moved towards her, slowly, stopping only when she could see her reflection in its surface. Her hair had grown well past her shoulders...how long had she been here?
The humming ceased, instead, a lone white light came from it, bathing everything around her in its glory.
Laughter filled her ears; it took a moment for her to realize that it was her own.
The amulet turned once again, this time moving away from her, it stopped in front of the destroyed wall. And then proceeded to speed forward, not ceasing, it finally stopped when it lay embedded deep within her chest.
Breaths would not come, she sputtered for a time, tasting blood. Afterwards she collapsed on the floor and knew no more.
…
Lights streamed past her defenses.
They crooned a song of remembrance, of happier times, with her mother, at home. These memories all seemed to belong to another person, in another life, from another world. The carefree child who had once cried after seeing her mother leave her at school on her first day.
The girl with pig tails who had screamed for her father to come back home, the sullen teenager who had once though she could save the world.
They were all gone. They had been stripped from her flesh, leaving this heartless viper in their wake. She had killed. In cold blood she had butchered her best friend. And then she had laughed.
Remorse would not come. The only sensation that filled her broken soul was hatred, rage at this world, at any god who would have allowed her to be born. She craved death, deliverance from this horrible existence.
But it would not come.
…
It took her even more precious seconds to notice that she was no longer in the palace. This place was made completely of glass. She could make out her distorted reflection in the walls.
She whispered to herself...it was prayer her grandmother had muttered the night her husband had died; it seemed fitting.
"Those words will not help you here child" a figure appeared cloaked in a pallid robe.
"Who are you?" Will made herself stand, finding that her limbs felt strangely weighted.
"My name is of no concern Williamina---oh yes, I know who you are" his voice was like a whisper, soothing and soft.
"How..." she was cut short by the wave of this person's hand. Slowly, with feline like precision, the hood was removed revealing a child's cherubic face.
Her voice caught in her throat, though she managed to ward off the disgusted reaction slicing through her.
"Where am I?" she sounded braver than she felt.
"No more questions, you weren't brought here to ask these things"
"Why then?"
"No more questions" his voice was far too deep for a child's. It froze her to the bone. "All will be revealed in time".
She nodded, her hands made their way into her wild tangle of crimson hair.
"Do you have any idea what you have just done?"
"Yes...but it wasn't on purpose...I ---"
"It doesn't matter what you intended to do, the fact remains that you used the powers of Kandrakar to slay another guardian" his expressionless face showed a hint of displeasure.
"I..."
"No interruptions" he motioned again. "You cannot envision what you have done"
He did not wait for a response. "You have stained the purity of the heart, first by giving its power to that tyrant, and now, by murder"
She did not reply.
"That is why you have been brought here child...for penance; do not expect redemption, but perhaps we can understand some of this"
…
"What was that?"
"It came from the east wing..."
"Where the queen is you mean?"
Footsteps sounded an erratic harmony throughout the castle. Women rushed forward, eager to see the cause of the explosion.
"My Gods" sounded the response as all eagerness was lost.
The room was destroyed. The oak bed lay in splinters, the walls were blackened as if a great fire had passed through, and the heavy scent of blood drifted over the room.
In the center of the room lay the queen. Her body twisted in an unnatural pose, hands mingled with legs. Her eyes were still open, glancing blindly at the ceiling, her sculpted lips parted, as though still trying to capture the air that eluded her.
"Call the King" said an elderly woman, pointing along the corridor. A hesitant looking brunette obeyed.
…
He could still hear the cries of the war waging outside. It had been going on for hours now he suspected. Cedric had been right, they were determined.
But so was he.
Tonight, he had decided, he would go test the limits of his self control. He would go speak with her, for the first time in years. She would scream he imagined, and attack, then curse his very existence, and then finally she would scream some more.
This did not concern him; the hardest part would be keeping his visit innocent.
She had matured since the last time he'd seen her, her body would taunt him beyond his breaking point.
But he was still going, he would assure her of his concern for her plight, he would explain why she had to be kept locked away from him. Why he had bedded hundreds of concubines rather than touch her chaste flesh.
Why he had sent taunting messages to her if only to annoy her.
…
And maybe she would forgive him. It was dangerous, more for her than him. The curse had already taken root in his loins; it would kill him faster if it were to spread to her.
These worries were not even supposed to be his own. The plan had been so simple, befriend her as they had done with Elyon, and manipulate her so that she would come to their side.
It hadn't worked. She was far too stubborn for that---too devoted.
So he had played on her insecurities and youth. And he had succeeded. Or so he had thought.
It hadn't taken him long for him to realize the intoxicating effect she had on him. He wanted her, more than he could explain, more than he knew was safe.
She was all he thought of, all he saw. She haunted every moment of his life.
And he couldn't have her. He wouldn't harm her, not in that way. His father had killed his mother, because of his uncontrollable lust, but he would not be that weak.
Yes he would go; and they would talk.
She needed to know. He owed her that much.
…
"My King" a woman's voice interrupted his thoughts.
He turned to face her, making her gasp in fright.
"What is it?"
"It's...the queen, sire...she's...dead...my savior" she stammered.
And he was gone in a heartbeat.
…
He was ignorant of everything around him. From the cautious glares the maids gave him every few seconds to the chocking sensation dwelling in his throat.
"Who did this to her?" his voice didn't reveal the half of his anger, for if it had, no one would be standing in front of him now.
"We...just found her sire...there was an explosion" squeaked one woman.
"Where were the blasted guards?" his self control was fading.
"They were in combat sir...all of the men went"
Something moved in his stomach, but like all else, he ignored it too.
"My lord" gasped one woman.
He made his way to the remnants of the wall, and looked out beneath him.
Hundreds of them, insects, stood there fighting, keeping all of this blasted noise.
…
She was dead, didn't they understand that?
He felt the energy swell in his arms and ignoring the feeble wails of those behind him he uttered "Reffus ecifircas mortir" and he watched them as they vanished.
The smell of charred flesh drifted towards the tower. Only that soothed his weary mind.
"Check her, for me, there is an orb in her possession, I want it"
And he left the sobbing women to do his bidding.
…
…
…
The pain in her chest had subsided, and along with it, the bleeding had stopped.
"The heart had lodged itself into your chest, it will not remove itself, and I don't advise you to try" he talked rapidly about various topics, all however linked to her immense stupidity.
He recessed only once to recite a story of another guardian, who had killed her teammate, Narcissa, or something along those lines. He hadn't elaborated on her fate.
"You will have the chance to plead your case to the Oracle, and then your judgment will be known"
He lead her into a large domed room, at the very center was a raised platform, where a sole metal chair stood. It looked sadly out of place there among the glass.
"Here is you panel" he gestured across the room, to which three figures stood crowded in a small corner.
"Taranee" a breath escaped her lips, happiness tried to run through her body, but to no avail.
She recognized the figures of Hay Lin and Irma surrounding her as well.
They said nothing, and for a long moment all four girls stood in silence staring at each other.
They had changed…all of them, Taranee's clothes were charred, and they hung scandalously from her strangely thin body. Next to her Hay Lin was soaked; droplets of water ran from the top of her raven colored head, to the end of the heavy metal ball she had chained to her foot.
Finally Irma; sweet Irma. Will half expected to see her eternal smile radiating from her adorable face. Instead, she watched in horror as Irma's head dangled obscenely on her chest. It was broken, Will realized.
Seeing them all in their pathetic states, it was unbearable. She was the cause of this…and of course, him.
"I am…" she was stopped by the Oracle's oversized hand.
Taranee, instead began to speak. "Why, Will, what possessed you to do this to us?"
"I didn't…" Will could feel tears begin to fall.
"Yes, you did, we know everything…how could you betray us?"
"I never wanted any of this to happen…"
"And for him Will?" It surprised Will that this anger was coming from Hay Lin. "We loved you…all of us"
"No…" she whispered.
"Selfishness, vanity, pride" the Oracle interrupted "It is amazing that you were chosen to keep the heart in the first place"
"Stop talking…all of you" Will could feel the rage building within her.
"You will not talk to me that way" the Oracle mentioned calmly. "Continue…"
"He doesn't love you Will, why can't you see that, he's only using you…"
"And you weren't?"
"No…Billy, we weren't" Irma's voice was merely a whisper.
Billy.
"I hate it when you call me that" she reminisced.
"I know you do"
…
She had been so stupid.
Her legs collapsed with her weight, and she fell to the glass floor sobbing, no real tears came, however, merely water, the true tears refused to leave their haven.
"I'm so sorry…I wish that I could…" she stopped.
She could hear it, voices; singing, whispering to her.
And it is written in the books of Gabriel, that she shall conquer…
Her eyes darted across the room, seeking the origin of the sounds. She couldn't find it.
"Your emotions are deadly, and pointless, I was always of the opinion than Yan Lin should have trained you, especially in that manner" he didn't seem to have heard the voice.
"You are forgiven child, for all your past transgressions, however let it be known, that on your return to that world that you are to avoid the presence of Phobos at all costs, I fear he has a greater hold on you than I fear you understand"
The voices had ceased.
"You're letting me go?"
"Yes, you cannot stay here, you are very much alive"
She nodded. She watched as her moved towards another corner and canted to an serration within the glass chamber.
"Thank you…everyone" she murmured.
…
She turned to leave, and then stopped.
"I have something to ask of you"
"Ask it"
"I have been having a dream for years, the same one; only now it's more vivid"
"Go on, what is this dream about" he leaned forward, running a bony hand along his pale face.
"It's of me, hurting others...killing them...and I enjoy it" she finished, wishing she hadn't asked of it at all. After what had happened to Taranee, and that dream with Cornelia, she was more afraid of the answer than before.
"You wish to know if it is a vision...well child I cannot tell you, your past, present and future are carved in stone---you cannot change them, and I will not be the one to read them. Sometimes we see moments of our present lives, or another life, but I wouldn't let the future concern you. Whatever will be, will be; besides the present is much more pressing"
He waved her away, offering a grimace like smile as comfort.
It was only when he had heard her footsteps vanish, did he let his worry show.
"After all that with Nerissa, it seems to begin with her"
He turned towards the others. "Come my children, I fear that we have much preparing to do"
…
"My lord" a woman's wavering voice could barely be heard over the pounding of blood in his ears.
"Did you find it?"
"No...my lord we didn't find it...it might have been destroyed in the explosion" she suggested timidly.
"Don't be stupid...that crystal can't be destroyed" his mind wandered before it was shaken back into reality.
"Sire...what she we do with the queen's body"
The unknown emotion crawled form his stomach once again; it forced itself inside of his chest. "Take her away...a burial is in order" his voice had lost its iciness.
It was something that the young woman hadn't failed to pick up on. For only a second he had almost appeared human. It passed as quickly as it had come.
"Yes my King" she muttered as she moved away.
…
…
The clouds scraped across the sky; they tickled the stars into laughing with their silent humor.
Darkness swamped them, trying to confine them to the dark carpet. But they refused, darting away, giggling, as if this were a game. They couldn't realize just how serious this 'game' was.
Her sobs shook her already battered frame. Her husband was dead. He had vanished before her very eyes; she didn't even know why.
And it wasn't as though she could ask the executioner. It would probably be the last thing she ever did, another flood of tears streamed past her rosy cheeks, the only sign of her youth.
She urged the horses on, silently praying to be rid of this morbid task as quickly as possible.
In the carriage she pulled, lay the hushed corpse of the queen herself. Attired in her satin wedding dress, ready to be discarded in the malicious earth; left to be forgotten.
She thought of the dead woman's luck, at least she had a body. And a fresh swamp of tears formed at the thought.
Maybe had her thoughts not been so focused on the lost lover, she might have heard the sounds of approaching horses. And maybe, then she might have been able to stop all that was about to transpire.
Unlikely. But still there is always that maybe.
…
Flight is always a wonderful thing to experience, the feel of the wind as it rushes through your hair, whispering its secrets and suspending you in a moment of unparalleled pleasure. Even if it is just that, a moment, you can rest assured, that you never forget flying.
Her memory did not show Will her leaving this earth, but she definitely saw her return. She glided effortlessly over the towns, seeking her elusive physical form.
She was sensing rather than seeing, it called her nearer playing a song that was mute to all others. She found what she had been searching for, quickly enough; and then dived through sinew and muscle, to her familiar cavity.
…
…
Far above this, higher than you or I could ever imagine, stood the Oracle. Alone in his fragile home; his worries threatened to age him even further.
But with age comes wisdom, and with wisdom, comes a solution.
The girl's words had troubled him greatly, although they hadn't surprised him. He had known this day would come...had had been warned; and he had heeded the warnings.
Or at least he had tried.
After all had he not protected this world from Nerissa? From Greydon? From the Forsworn?
He was not to blame.
He had simply thought that there would be more time; to prepare.
And now for his procrastination, he was to suffer. It was already too late; the events were already placed into motion. The end was upon them all.
But, yet he had a plan. The was no way to stop what was written in the future, time never paused, but perhaps; perhaps there was a way to postpone these events.
The spirit had already found her body, reunited; her unconsciousness began to waver.
"Sleep, my child" he muttered, "You will rest"
And she settled back into her peacefulness.
…
"The carriage is coming from the castle Caleb...what do you think is inside it?" the taller man inquired from his steed.
"One way to find out" he motioned for him to follow.
They both should have considered themselves to be very lucky; it had been an amazing day. After years of wondering, the guardian of fire had finally sensed the keeper of the heart. She was alive, though trapped it seemed, by Phobos.
The plan was a simple one; keep the men distracted with the army while they went around the back of the castle and sought out the girl. And it might have worked.
If he hadn't chosen to appear.
He had destroyed both armies with a flick of his wrist.
It still sickened them to think how Phobos could be as ruthless as to destroy his own men. Cedric had been there; his most loyal servant. And now, he too was gone.
…
They rode on, pressing the horses as fast as they would go.
In a matter of minutes they had overtaken the carriage.
The woman at the helm screamed in surprise, she dropped the reins and fled into the forest.
"Should we go after her?" Aldarn questioned.
"What for, the trees won't attack her" answered the other.
Aldarn moved to follow his captain; gone were the days when Caleb would smile.
Not since Cornelia had died; and it had only worsened since the other girls had gone.
Hay Lin had been lost first, she had been driven to madness over the loss of both Cornelia and Elyon; and Irma had followed; taking her own life one night; she had been found by Taranee herself, who had screamed for days at the heavens for an answer. She must have been lost now as well, as her ever soothing face had yet to resurface.
Now, his answers were always short. He spared no time for humor, always instead channeling his energies into finding a way to destroy their blessed King.
"Open it up" Caleb commanded.
The wood came off easily in his hands, revealing a space as dark as the night sky.
Aldarn, journeyed forwards, searching the darkness. "I don't think that there's anything here..."
"They wouldn't send an empty carriage out here---"
"Wait, I found something...a box" he groaned at the effort of moving the load, with one final grunt he managed to haul the construction onto the muddy ground.
It opened at once, and its contents spilled out into the open.
It wasn't what they had expected.
"Caleb...isn't that..."
He had removed himself from his horse before Aldarn could have finished. With bated breath he bent to examine the body. It was clothed in a thick white gown, wings just barely visible beneath the layers of cloth.
His fingers wandered over her skin, it was her. The change was evident in her face; but still he could tell, those red tresses were unmistakable.
"It's her" he repeated his discovery to his companion, who merely shook his head in sympathy.
"She's dead Caleb...that's a coffin, Phobos wasn't lying after all"
The smile which had been so close to breaking the tough surface submerged itself into the depths of his face.
"I'm sorry...I know how much you wanted to find her" Aldarn breathed. "We should at least carry her back to camp, we can give her a proper burial there...maybe next to the others"
What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. She stirred in his arms, whispering so that only he could hear; "Please, stay...don't leave me again"
"No she's alive"
"Caleb..."
"No, look, she's breathing...she's fine" he scooped her into his arms, blind to the intricate crown that fell from her hands. "Help me get her up here" he motioned to his horse.
Aldarn rushed forward to secure the girl. "We should hide this...you wouldn't want Phobos to know..."
"We'll send some one to do it when we get to the camp" he mounted the animal behind the slumped figure. "Right now she's more important than any of this"
Aldarn nodded, but still spared one uncertain glance at the wreckage before he followed his leader home.
…
…
…
Author: Yes, Irma and Hay Lin committed suicide, I thought that this would have a strong effect on all of you because, well basically, they're the two happiest ones. The heart makes Will do things that she probably wouldn't have done on her own. Soon kiddies she'll be hearing voices and all sorts of fun things.