Chapter VIII

Problems Burn Away

HDM: yes, long time, ne? This is the development of everyone's friendship and Kenny's addiction.

I grow up in the place where I do not deserve to be designated as a real human being.

I walk into school and I look all around me. Kids talk amongst their clicks and others stare at me. I stare right back as I take my seat in the back. I stare in the black abyss of the chalkboard as the room filled with the monotone of my teacher's lecture. The smell of the chalk clogs my sense of smell and the morning after-taste lingered in my mouth. I slump against my desk and start to fall asleep. The droning of the teacher soothes my thoughts as I reach sub consciousness.

I feel a paper ball hit against my head. I look at it and any suspects. I see Kyle smirking. I mouthed off 'what the fuck?' to the Jew. He silently laughs as he points to the paper ball. I uncrumble it and smooth it out. I can make out the letters almost clearly now.

Hey Kenny! Dude, you look dead today...but when do you don't? I'm sorry I freaked you out the other night but I didn't know what to do! I heard you went to Stan's house. I hope he didn't make you feel too much like an asshole. Maybe it'll knock some of your shit off. Anyways, there's a party tonight, maybe it'll relieve some tension. I'll tell you at lunch. FYI don't tell Cartman, he'll be a fucking pansy.

Later...

After class I met Kyle at his locker. He brushed his crimson bangs out of his eyes and waves. I flick the note at his head and cock a brow. "Hey!" he replied but just let the note bounce to the ground. "So...sympathy or pity?" I ask the Hebrew. "What are you talking about?" he asks with a smirk. I just stare at him. "It's no big deal, Kenny. You would have found out about it anyways, I just wanted to let you know. Is that alright with you?" he replies with the same cocky-ass grin. "Whatever...just gives me an excuse to get drunk..."

Cartman looks at us with disgust and curiosity. I unveil a half-eaten candy bar and a can of soda from my hoodie upon the cafeteria table. Stan walks in and greets almost everyone with a smile. He's wearing...gasp...jeans! Sarcasm, of course but it was funny to look at other people's reactions. Sure, he still wore a black Hot Topic style shirt saying "Keep Staring I'll do a Trick..." but it suits him today because fuck, everyone was staring. Kyle gives him a look, not a disapproved look but a "you son-of-a-bitch" look. He starts laughing as Stan just smiles.

"Did one of the Goths say something?" Kyle asks. "Yeah, they said I was a fag and a betrayer...I told them to FOD..." Stan shrugs his shoulders as he gets in line for lunch. Kyle just shakes his head and leaves to the vending machine. I slump my head against the table. I see Cartman reach for Kyle's bag. "Don't do anything stupid..." I mumbled. "Piss off Hick..." he growled. Before I could say anything I see Kyle come back with 2 bags of chips. He threw one at my head; I look at him bewildered. "Eat it and shut up..." he said without any protest coming out of my mouth.

Kyle shuffles in his brown bag and finds a tin foiled object. There's a note upon the tinfoil. "Just a little something" it read. He quirked an eyebrow but opened it anyway. "What's that?" Stan asks while returning to the table. "I donno, I guess something my mom gave me..." he replied. He opens to find a nice clean-cut sandwich. He gingerly takes a bite. And in the millisecond he spits out the half-chewed sandwich. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!" he screams. "DUDE, what's wrong?" Stan asks. Cartman begins to etch a smile and it grew as fast as Kyle's rage. "Kyle!" Stan yells, "What the fuck is it..." I look at the sandwich and I look at Cartman.

"Ham?"

Eric starts laughing, fucking laughing. Kyle throws the sandwich at his head but he keeps on laughing. He points at Kyle and grins. "Yo- You shoulda se-seen your f-face!" he could barely get out with his intolerable laughing. "What is your problem Cartman! Kyle did NOTHING to you and you do a thing like that?" Stan yells. "It's just ham..." Eric says ignorantly. "Just ham...just fucking ham!" Kyle screams, "I'll tell you what it is you fucking turd. Unlike you and a number of people can say 'I'm Christian or I'm this and I don't follow anything to be redeemed, I FOLLOW things because if I don't I WILL be punished."

Eric stops laughing. "Kyle, it's JUST MEAT. You don't go to HELL because of HAM!" he yells, "Kenny would know, he went there every damn day!" I just look away. "Don't bring me in, Cartman..." I mutter. "Why not? Have you seen Jews being fed pigs because they 'ate a ham sandwich'? No! See, it's pointless." I throw my can away and just stared at him. "You have no idea what I have seen so I would shut that black hole you call a mouth." this cold voice crept off of my lips. Kyle just walks away in a fit of rage as Stan and Eric just stare at me.

Why did he care so much though?

It's around seven and I am up in my room getting ready. I brushed out my golden color hair slowly. The bangs fall past my rounded chin as the back almost grazes my shoulders. Tints of brown and orange wash within the faded yellow hair. Shades of peach and yellow mix in my facial tone as well as tints of rose across my cheeks sometimes. I spray some of the Axe and then search for a shirt and jeans. I found dark faded jeans with a trucker belt buckle looped through it. I pulled my thinning arm through one sleeve and then the other. I buttoned the shirt carefully in so that I don't miss a button. I look at myself in the mirror. Someone would say I look quite attractive right now.

Then again...I'm so ugly...

I hear the knocking upon the screen door. "It's open!" I yelled down the steps. I search for my white sneakers I swiped a month back. I grabbed them with one hand and headed down. Kyle's eyes meet mine along with a smile. He looks...fucking awesome. His hair shags in his face but the bangs cut at his eyes. The mixture of the crimson hair compliments his emerald green eyes. He wears this button down shirt and it's pinstripe with browns and reds mixed in very well. The black pants goes great with the outfit and so do the black and red sneakers. "What?" he asks. I just look away. Kevin is staring at the television. "Where you going?" he murmurs. "Party...later..." I replied coldly.

He doesn't care, they never care

Once you entered the house the smell of alcohol and weed was in the air right away. Stan is talking to some girl I don't know "Personally". He's wearing a red shirt with a black jacket over with black jeans. He tips his drink towards us and keeps talking. I look at Kyle and he just shrugs. Music throbbed through the stereo as people sat around to get a drink. At one point me and Kyle separated and I find myself with a shot glass and a 40 ounce of Southern Comfort in front of me on the coffee table. Craig beckons me to sit with me as he pours some in a shot. I become hesitant and look around. Whatever was keeping from taking the glass evaporated from my skin because I took the first drink.

After five swigs of the I can feel the effects going to my brain. Even Tweek was mellow with a bottle of Smirnoff Green Apple in his left hand and a blunt in the right. Craig handed me a bottle and I twisted it off easily. I get up and walk across the house. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I see it's Stan. He looks at me and then the bottle. I was waiting for a lector but all he did was ask me where I got one. Huh, maybe Stan is mellowing out. I pointed to Craig who pointed to a case of them. "Where's Kyle?" I ask. "What?" he yells. "Where's Kyle!" I yell in his ear. He points to the backyard screen. I open the screen to see him leaning against the balcony post.

"Are you a stick in the mud?" I ask him with a grin. He snaps out of it and just laughs. I touch the side of his face and smeared it against my fingers. "Lipstick?" I ask. His face turns three different shades. I laugh and just hand him a bottle. "It's a party my Hebrew friend, lighten up..."

I am completely smashed...I think...I don't remember. After the cocaine and a shot of heroine, I think I'm fucked up. I collapse on the couch, ready to throw up. Man I wonder if I will OD right now…Stan left earlier with some friends. Kyle's around but I don't know where. I trace my finger around the rim of the glass. Everything is blurred, like a watercolor painting...pretty colors, heh. I see purple, yellow, blue, and red people running around the rim of the glass, trying to hit each other with mallets. They shriek and shout and keep chasing around the rim. My brain is pounded with thoughts and irrational screams. I want to shut them out.

I don't know why I do it. Two hours I had a bottle, and one hour I got a blow job from someone I didn't even know, and now I still have a needle sticking out of my arm. Water fills my eyes but a bat it away. Why do I do the things I do is a mystery in itself. Is it a way to get a temporary high so I don't recall any problems for one night? Maybe so that I can dull the voices screaming in my head. Either case, it is not the right thing and I know it is not the right thing. I don't care as long as I don't need to know the reality of my problems.

Someone nudges my shoulder. I look up to see it's Kyle. He just stares at me, without a nice smile. I take out the needle and I look at him. "Come on, Kenny...we're leaving." he calmly says. No! I don't want to leave this...haven. "wHyz? I don't Wanna Goz anyzwherez..." I whine. He pulls me up from the couch and walks me to the door. When we get outside I start yelling to go back. I turn but I double over. Kyle takes me to a trash can as I yack everything out of my system. I stumble back on the sidewalk as Kyle follows me. "Whyz you not like me?" I ask. "You mean the being shit-faced? I only had a bottle, you had 3 including a shot of heroine, cocaine, and 5 shots of-" but before he could finish I mumble "don't feel good..."

And on that note I pass out on Kyle.

Upon the Windowpane

I look outside the window
Just tapping on the pane
Gazing upon the kids
They run, jump, and play
I want to be with them
They look so happy
Father says I can go
Once my bruises go away

End of Chapter VIII

HDM: Yes, there will be reason (I think) why Kyle spazes at ham…I just gotta remember it by the time it comes around. Cartman is a dick…but is there reason? (actually I WOULD know but that's not the point) Stan with another girl except Wendy! (dun dun dun) Kenny is looking to be worse than better, will that change? Why am I asking you this! Review or I'll never write or get to the plot of this story!

Updated 5/25 I will TRY to write this within a week so bear with me! I just updated my Squee/Pepito story Blood Red Rose so I now gotta do this now...sorry!