Chapter IX

Burning Butterflies

HDM: I'm sorry for the long awaited update (that's a bs sentence right there XP) but I'm moving in a month and I only have online at my dad's and my mom's working computer. Now, I gotta wait when I go to my dad's or late at night when my mom isn't working. :sigh: this better be worth the hassle so I better get uber good reviews from all of you:ahem: anyways, enjoy!

The taste of dirt and having cottonmouth isn't the best luxury...

I am here on the ground, I can hear police sirens all around me. The grass feels cold against my arms...wait where did my shirt go? I am only wearing a white beater and my baggy pants. Great, now I look like white trash and a whigger. One of the fuzz picks me just to slam me slam me against the police car. As he is giving the "You have the right to blah blah blah..." speech, I have a camera right in front of my face. Perfect, COPS is covering South Park tonight...before I am handcuffed I flip off the camera with spite. The cop slams me harder against the car as the cuffs wrap roughly against my wrist.

"Kinky..." I say with a smile as the cop is yelling at me for some "Defiance" crud. He throws me in the back of the cop car along with...Kyle? "Why you here?" I ask. "They think I'm a druggy too..." he murmured. He looks at me with those angry and frustrated eyes. I love that the swirls of olive and green apple greens compliment his emotions oh-so well. His hair grazing across those eyes, I am entranced in a way I haven't been in a long time.

Clyde appears in my vision, blocking my view of Kyle. I get a little upset by this, for some twisted reason. Or...is it that twisted? "YOU are in big trouble mister! Not only did you almost OD but you're now endangering someone else's sanity! Are you that fucking selfish that you care only about sufficing only a little bit of sex just so you're satisfied enough to go find another? I can't work on two head cases at once, it doesn't work like that. Do you hear me!"

Deirdre appears next to Clyde, now they completely block my view. I'm getting really agitated now. "So now you decide to actually kill yourself with drugs? No, you want a temporary high, huh? Whatever you're thinking, this boy will NOT make you happy. He's not like the whores you got with for a few bucks at a time. He is like the red head at the bar, they are deeper than a puddle which means you WILL get hurt! End it now before he hurts you!"

"Back the fuck off of him you goth porn pixie! He's MINE and you will not rot out his brain with your suicidal thoughts!" Clyde barks at Deirdre. She cocks up her eyebrow and just yawns. "You're so predictable, you know...kill and kill, it's almost robotic. Why would you waste your anger on someone else, it proves your stupidity..." "You did NOT just call me stupid!" Clyde roars. "What if I did?" she retorts in a cocky manner. "Just SHUT UP!" I yell and at once they disappear. "What?" Kyle asks while looking strangely at me. "Ne-- nothing, just booze talk..." I excused my behavior very casual-like. He nods and drums on his knees impatiently.

I keep staring at him, just transfixed upon his face. I don't know why I do but it feels right to look. He looks at me and furrows his eyebrows. "Why are you staring?" he asks roughly. I blink a couple times but I say not a word. He now keeps staring, but only because I don't give him an answer. "You're eyes..." I mutter. He looks at me confused as I look up again. "It's your eyes..." He cocks his eyebrow at my response. I move closer to them, just looking. His expression turns uneasy as he's backing away. "They are entrancing, like a random red rose. Captivating to the senses you cannot help but look. Soon you want more than to just look..." as I ramble I graze my arm against his. He pushes me and I wince in pain. He immediately retracts his hand to see that his palm is red.

"What the hell!" he yells. I look and I see one of my wombs has ripped open. It must of been when the cop slammed me. The beater is colored with hues of browns and reds...not only the tank but my peachy flesh. Kyle gently grazes his fingers around my womb to see how big it is. His expression soften to a sympathetic gaze. "That's your weakness..." I say with a rough laugh, "You sympathize with others easily..."

Then...I kissed him...

And then...I passed out...

I wake up to find black bars in front of me and cinder blocks around me. I try to get up but blood rushes quickly into my brain. I let out a moan and look around to see I knew anyone. Then I see Kyle on the adjacent bench laying his head. He looks at me and then gets up. "Have you finally sobered up?" he asks coldly. His voice clangs against my brain and I squint harshly. "What are you talking about?" I ask the Hebrew. "Do you know what the fuck you did! You KISSED me in a POLICE car on COPS!" he screams. I look at him, he's gotta be joking, right? Why would he make something up like that?

"Dude, I swear on my brother's grave that I didn't even know I was drinking!" I say frantically. "I'm NOT into you! I like the clips, not the dicks!" He laughs nervously and shakes his head. "Are you sure about that, Kenny...I mean you seem the type to-" I threw something at him but he dodged it easily. "Dude, I'm kidding, EVERYONE knows you're straight as an arrow..." but he stops the insult there because the hick of an officer came by. "Okay, someone is coming to pick you up. He'll be here in a few short minutes." He murmured groggily. He must have had a bit too much of the som'thin-som'thin.

This guy comes in with a backwards cap and a baggy Rocawear jacket. He wore pants like mine, over worn and too baggy for your own good. He looks up at the officer and points to our cell. He flashes an ID picture and the officer took out his keys. He pulls out fifty bucks and he looks at us. Kyle's eyes widens but the man gives him a look and Kyle closes his mouth. We walk out the door and Kyle snags the guy's hat. "Damn Stan how did you do it?" he asks our unveiled rescuer. "Easy, I snagged some kid's ID when he was passed out and I just wore my Halloween costume."

We decided to hang around Stan's house until the morning. We got in and the TV was on. COPS was on. We watch in horror as the scene unfolds. It must have been live because we saw our mugs on the T.V.:

"Where are you going, son?" Barbrady asked Kyle. "To my house, it's down the block..." Kyle replied but then looks at the camera confused. "Really, because we just busted in on party with teenagers like yourself drinking and doing some illegal activity, might know any?" Kyle just shakes his head. Then the camera man follows another one down the street and you see me in the grass pinned down. "Kenny!" Kyle yells but the one cop slams him against the car and the cuffs snap against his wrists.

The camera then focuses on my face; you can see trickles of blood from my forehead. I give the infamous finger and my head, again, gets slammed harder against the car even harder than before. They snap on the cuffs, getting a perfect picture of my bleeding arms and wrists and you see me get thrown into the car. Then they start filming Officer Barbrady, asking what they'll do with us.
"Well, uh, we just wait til their parents come pick them up at the station..."
"Wait, you're not going to throw them in jail!"
"This is a small town, if we lock up every drunk and druggie we'll only have the kindergarten and a few gays."

Then the officer takes a double glance into the car. "Did you see that? Were they...no it can't be." The camera focuses on Kyle's face and me- passed out. "Oh, he's just sleeping, okay I guess we're heading back." Barbrady concludes as he gets into the car.

Stan looks at us and just laughs. "Oh my god that was perfect!" he says between his howls, "Kenny, I can't believe you actually flipped off the camera!" Kyle just keeps quiet and I feel nauseous. Stan looks at me and then his smile suddenly turned into a grimace. "The bathroom is upstairs to your-" before he finished I ran upstairs. I ran to the porcelain bowl and feel faint. After about ten minutes of puking up my insides. Stan and Kyle are outside the bathroom talking through the door. "Kenny! Are you dead in there?" I answered with a moan. I grip the rims of the bowl as I feel it come up again. I keep thinking why am I here, why am I throwing up my insides in someone's house not even my own? Clyde and Deirdre float above my head, just laughing. Clyde is the first to speak, as usual.

"You're a fucking wanker, huh? I mean, are you such a bloody plank that you gotta fuck with everyone's life so theirs is just as bad as yours!" "I have to agree with the fur ball with this one my basket case friend. You must enjoy fucking with everyone's head because you're so fucked up in the head it's beyond screwed." They taunt me, they fucking taunt my disease, or whatever the hell is wrong with me. "Get the hell OUT OF MY HEEEAAAD!" I scream but they keep floating there, just laughing. "Buddy, if you send us out, that wouldn't be so fair!" Clyde responds along with a cackle. "Yeah, why don't you send all the other voices out first? They're crowding the space."

"What are you talking about! I don't HAVE any other things in my head!" I back up against the bathroom door. I can hear the pounding against my head and back, they're begging to come in. "I'm not crazy! I'm completely normal teenager that likes sex, drugs, and alcohol! I'm normal!" I yell at the two. "Are you in denial? That's just rich, kid. You were the one a couple days back you were nuts and now you take it back! When you go down this road you can NEVER go back to Sanity City you're in Coo-Coo town for the rest of your life!" Clyde exclaims with such venom in his voice. "Actually, not necessarily the rest of your life. You can end it now if it's sooo harrd. Come on, Stan has plenty of pills in the cabinet; we can just "borrow" a bottle or two. It won't be painful, I promise you that." Deirdre starts coaxing me to the medicine cabinet.

I roll up in a ball on the cold tiled floor. I wrap my arms around myself trying in vain to comfort myself. I mean, who else will comfort a drugged up fool? I can see my red arms, I'm sickened by them. I am dirt, I am filth, I am what you throw out to rot. I am now insane, I am an insane drugged up fool. I look at my arms where the needles were. They still trickle out fowl crimson tonic called blood.

"My insanity bleeds from me, it bleeds over everything good and right. When the tonic gets you the good and right it twists and distorts it to be fowl and wrong. I let the bleeding continue, because secretly I want everything good that's around me to rot along with me." Stan and Kyle break down the door and the two floating...things conveniently disappear. "Kenny, what is-" Stan stops as they stare at me. In my pathetic state, they just stare and listen to my ramblings. "I kill everything with this blood. Insanity is contagious because I gave it to you..." I mutter with tears in my eyes.

"Kenny, you're going to be alright..." Kyle softly speaks while putting his hand on my side. I wince at his soft touch. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. "Why are you saying sorry?" he asks me, getting closer. "For let-ting my se-selfishness ge-get in the wha-way..." Tears start rolling down. Kyle cocks his head in confusion. "You're not being selfish..." he tried to explain. "We'll get you off the drugs and alcohol if you want, Kenny." I let out a cry of pain. I enclose myself more into to ball. "I diz-diseased ya-ou, and I ne-knew it..." I whimpered softly. His eyes dilated slightly.

"Kenny, you were drugged up and drunk, you didn't know what you were doing. I'm not mad...anymore! It's going to be okay." Kyle tries to comfort me with his sympathetic pleas. "NO! I ME-MESSED with you! You are ne-NOW diseased BE-CAUSE OF Meh-ME!" I scream. I try to get up but pains in my stomach cripple me to just getting up halfway. Stan just stares at us, wanting to know what's going on. "You DON'T un- understand!" I cry, "You both are going to be LIKE me! THEY W-won't St-st-op with je-just me!" I wrap my arms around my skeleton.

Well, Stan picks me up and throws me in the tub. "HEY!" I yell but he already am feeling the shower head against my head. The water pours from the shower head and it clings to me. The clothes sticks to me and I can see the red water swirling down the drain. "That will cool you down...now get a grip!" Stan says in a demanding tone. I look up at them, like how children look up to their parents. Not to be funny but I wouldn't want these two as my parents. My blonde locks hang around my face so I can only see through the hair. I push it back but it keeps falling back in front of my face. It's annoying...

"Now about that tantrum, they WON'T get any of US! I know that you're scared BUT YOU NEED A GRIP!" Stan screams. "Kyle and I got over our problems and you can do the same!" Kyle looks away. "Right, Kyle?" Stan looks at him now. "Kyle, you told me you stopped." Kyle looks pleadingly in his eyes and in mine. I wipe my tears with my hand, what are they talking about? "KYLE! DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT STOP!" Stan screams. "STOP WHAT!" I scream back. Kyle wraps his arms around his stomach, looking like he's going to blow.

"You don't understand! I tried to stop!" he yells in his defense. Stan looks livid, he knows what Kyle is talking about and he's not happy. "WHAT are you guys talking about!" I ask again."Kyle, show me..." Stan says between his teeth. Kyle shakes his head like a child unwilling to give up a toy. "Kyle ,SHOW ME!" Stan screams. "NO!" Kyle cries, "You don't know, Stan!" Stan sits him up on the sink, looking like he'll kill anyone right now. Kyle looks so helpless. His green eyes swirl with not anger but depression and anxiety. Are they the color of green? Stan pushes up Kyle's sleeves. Kyle hangs his head, trying to escape our eyes.

I'M JUST A FUCKING JEW on the left and FUCKING SMUCK on the right.

Burning Butterflies

Nothing is ever right

Because I'm not

Everything that's good

I will burn

Because I'm not fine

I look at everything

Nice and fine

I take a razor or lighter

I slash and burn

Until it's distorted

Just like me

End of Chapter IX

HDM: see how well I turn the tables on things? I'm off today (if you did not know I updated on wed 6/8) because of the seniors graduating and all that. Well, R&R because I'm bored and I need something to do