Chapter XIII

The Knight in Rusted Armor

HDM: got that from FG...hope that summary helped you out.
Fishbone: :suddenly appears: I'M NEVER IN YOUR AUTHOR NOTES!
HDM: YOU WERE GONNA BE IN CHAPTER 13 OF BLOOD RED ROSE
Fishbone: really? O.O;;;;;;

BTW this is back to T again cuz i changed my mind and this is a long update because my one computer wouldn't load the story so I had to wait til I got to my dad's house (a week later) to upload it! .;;;; So...yeah you better give me uber good reviews for this!

I was pile-drive by an angel...

The knife flew out of my hand and under my bed and now my head hurts. Suddenly the angel starts holding my wrist and starts to tie it up with an old shirt I own. "What are you doing?" I asked it. "Saving your sorry hide you asshole!" the angel yells. Funny, that voice sounds oddly familiar. "Kyle?" I ask. "No, the tooth fairy...of course it's me!" he screams. I try to move but he's sitting on my stomache. "You like being on top?" I laugh at my own joke. He punches me right in the left cheekbone. I still keep laughing.

"DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" he screams. I look up at him. His eyes are blazing with anger and worry. He's wearing old jeans and a white t-shirt, probably what he wore to bed before charging off to rescue me. I look at my wrist and I can see the blood staining the shirt. Slowly, the depression is going away and I feel better. "Deirdre..." I mused aloud. "Who?" Kyle asks. 'She must of put some sort of depression kick into me when touching me...that's why I felt like shit...' I mused to myself this time. "Again, who is this Deirdre?" he asks.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you..." I muttered. "Try me..." he pressed his hands against my arms, pinning me to the ground. "You know this is very compromising..." I try to change the subject. His eyes narrow. "Last time..." he warned. I try to get away from those green eyes, they all are too pure...I want to gauge them out and never see them again. Tears roll down my face. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, NO ONE WILL!" I scream in his face. "KENNY GOD DAMNIT TELL ME!" he yells back.

"SHE'S NOT REAL!"

He takes a double take. "What?" he asks, like he didn't hear the first time. "THEY ARE NEVER REAL! ONLY I CAN SEE THEM!" I scream so harsh that my throat feels like it'll rupture. "Them? Wait, there's more than one?" he asks. I start squirming, I don't want to tell him anymore. He already knows too much. He gets off of me and I sit up. "Kenny, please, I want to help you, dude!" he pleads. I look at him and his scars. I don't want to get help, I just want to be left alone.

"Why did you do that?" I say pointing to his scars. He tries to cover them self consciously. "Hey, this isn't about me, okay?" he says defensively. He looks away from me and curses under his breath. "Kyle, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours..." I offered. I wiped away a stray tear and placed my elbows on my legs, propping myself up. He looks at me, trying to see if he can call a bluff. "I'm...on Zoloft right now..." he began. I blinked a couple of times. "You're depressed...since when?" I ask. "I guess beginning of freshman year...I never told anyone but my parents. They took me to a bunch of people, they didn't know the reason for it...I had no reason to be depressed..."

"So they just put you on medication..." I concluded. He nodded his head. "One day I forgot to take it and I was really messed up and I...did this..." he showed his arms, "I didn't want to but I felt I was being controlled..." He bites down on his lip, trying not to cry. "Stan found out the scars the next day and then saw the Zoloft in my school bag and added two and two together. I told him not to tell anyone...he wasn't meant to know..." he says in an apologetic manner. "I get it, Kyle, it's not something that you tell at lunch, I'm not jealous..." I say without hesitation.

"So, is Stan something, too?" I ask not meaning to be sarcastic. "Borderline and a Bipolar disorder but it's not that extreme..." Kyle says with a straight face. "Geez, it's like something is making us have a mental disease..." I muse aloud. "What about you, Kenny? It sounds like you're the worst of us all..." Kyle asks, also not trying to sound sarcastic. "I looked it up on the internet the other day, I think I have figments..." I began. "Whoa, you're a skitz? Is it just voices or...you can see them now?" Kyle asks in awe.

"Well, it was just voices but I thought it was just me. Then two things popped up and they almost control me and what my actions are. I don't think I do anything on my own anymore." I explained. He let out a yawn and propped himself against my wall. My eyes started to feel heavy, murder and failed suicide really takes a toll. His head rested on my shoulder as we both start to fall asleep. "Maybe we can get you a doctor..." he suggested softly. I didn't respond, I don't want to tell him that I don't want to be anywhere near a doctor...no one should know about this...I couldn't even tell her...now I can really feel sleep take hold.

Dream Sequence!

I am in an open field with no one around. I can almost smell the scent of outdoors. Then I can hear someone calling my name. I look to see my mother, beckoning me to come. I run to see her but I don't get any closer. I can see her smile and her dancing eyes, the way they used to look before all of this happened. Then, her skin fades into a gray pasty color and her hair turns into a dark rotted brown. Her eyes turn gray as she begins to rot away. I scream for her but I cannot reach. I see Kevin and he gives me a disgusting grin. He pushes me and I start falling.

I land near a lake...weird. I get up to look around and I see Reighlie right next to me in a beautiful red dress. She looks so lovely...it makes me crestfallen to think of her. I begin to tell her that I'm sorry for everything but she doesn't say a word. She gives me a smile and grazes her hand across my cheek. I touch her hand and I close in for a kiss. Our lips touch but her lips are deathly cold. I pull away to see now it's Kyle. He's soaking wet and it looks like he's crying. His lips are moving, like he's screaming, but it's like he's muted. I step closer but he looks like he wants me to stay away. I look and he has cuts on his face. Blood stains appear on my hands and I try to wipe it off but it stays. I start to cry blood, blood is all around me.

End of Dream, obviously!

I wake up with cold sweat trickling down my face. I wipe it away with my hand and let out a sigh of relief. What the fuck was up with that dream I'll never know. I will not let my imagination get the best of me now. I can feel Kyle's head now against my chest, he probably moved during the night. God, the things people would say about him if they ever found out...oh well. "Kyle..." I whisper. He stirs a bit but remains silent. "Kyle, it's time to get up..." I whispered in his ear. He moved a bit but didn't say a word. Then, a cell phone ringing the music of Mission Impossible starts going. "Answer that for me..." he asks in mid-slumber. I look to see that the name read Stan.

"Hey Stan..."

"Kenny? Where's Kyle?"

"Thanks for the hello...he's being lazy and not getting up..."

"Alright, can you guys meet me up at Stark's Pond around 12:30?"

"Sure, we'll meet you..."

I hung up the phone and I look to see he's still laying on my lap. "Kyle, you need to get up..." I told him. He let out a groan and rolled off of me. I swear, I think he acts gay and doesn't even know it. "You're an asshole..." he mumbled sleepily. "Yeah well deal with it..." I reply and I get up from the floor. I throw off my shirt and spay on some Axe. I look over to see he's finally moving. "You need to stop at your place before going to Stark's Pond?" I ask the red headed Jew. I throw on a clean shirt and my hoodie. He nods a yes and stands up slowly. He's definetly not a morning person. I look to find my shoes and I grab my cigarettes and lighter. I lead us down the stairs where I see Mother sipping on a cup of coffee.

"Where you going?" she demanded. "Out..." I replied as I walked out the door. I don't feel like dealing with her now. I light up a cancer stick and breathe it all in. "You want one?" I ask Kyle. He shook his head and continued to walk. "I can't believe you ran out with no coat...are you fucking insane?" I asked him. He gives me a grin. "Not as insane as you my friend..." he replied. I rolled my eyes as we walked toward his house. He doesn't know how right he is...even though I know he's kidding.

I waited outside for only ten minutes before he came out of his house. He got on some clean clothes and a jacket. We head up toward Stark's Pond, which isn't that far of a walk. I wish I could afford a car, maybe then I could get out of this dump. To get far away from this town would make me a happy boy...but I'm never happy.

What would happen if he came a second later? What would happen if I passed on over? I would probably join my father in hell just to be spiteful...everyone knows that any deity is a spiteful prick. I never felt so much anger and sorrow in my life, it was like it hit me like a truck. I wanted to stop but I couldn't control my inner wishes. The kill was sadistically fun...but the aftershock was so overwhelming. I wonder if I ever did that again, will I feel the aftershock? No, I'm not going to kill anymore...I don't want to stain my hands again.

Living in a town of sinners, it's hard to find an angel amongst the demons. When one comes along your way, you should treasure him or her and never let them go. I had one thrown at me and I let her fly away. I gave her the wings to fly away from me...so she could save herself. I don't want her to get sucked into the Bleeding...no not her. At least, maybe one good thing can be saved from me, even if that means I cannot be happy. As for him, he's literally swimming in It. I tried to take him out of It, and yet I watch him drown. I want to save him but I don't want to be lonely. I want to keep him because he's like me...he's not as pure as her. Maybe we can Bleed together...

We end up beating Stan to Stark's so we sit under a bare tree until we await our third Stooge. Kyle looks around and lets out a small laugh. "What's so funny?" I ask him out of curiosity. "Life..." he responded with a dreamy look. I cock my head in confusion. "Look at it, Kenny...can you not feel a bit happy when you see the sun rise? Does the smell of something baked tickle you in a special way. Does it not blow your mind when you see nature in all its glory and it makes you feel so...great..." he lets out a sigh. "God, you're a depressed optimist..." I state cynically. "Why...what do you see, Kenny?" he asks. "I feel happy when the sun sets...because the day is finally done. I can only smell gasoline and cigarettes...and nature has an ugly side that I cannot turn away..."

He turns to me and gives me a forced grin. "I think that way a lot...but I try not to...because I don't want to focus on the bad and maybe if I focus on the little good things in life...it makes it worthwhile..." I look at him...can his philosophy really work? It sounds so childish...the optimism of a child cannot be capable of understanding this cynical and cold adult world. It makes me sick that he thinks there's good when he sees the ugly right in front of his face. Does he not see it or does he look around it? Kyle shakes his head and lets out another laugh. "Optimisim is what we believed in when we're young...Pessimism is what we grow into as we grow old..." he mused aloud. I nodded my head in accord.

Stan starts walking toward us with a small smile. I stand up and he pulls me into a friendly straight hug. "Dude, you alright?" he asked with concern. I gave him a nod. "Yeah, I'm fine..." I lie to the black haired angel. Kyle gets up as well. "Kyle, what the hell were you thinking?" he asks him. Kyle just shrugs and gives him that innocent smile. I swear, Stan acts like the parent and Kyle acts like the child. Stan is cold and harsh...Kyle is naive and foolish...and I'm full of apathy. Stan sees the facts and doesn't run with his emotions...Kyle sees beyond facts and is overzealous when it comes to his emotions...I don't want feelings at all...

"Kenny?" Stan's voice broke my train of thought. "Hm?" I responded stupidly. "Um, I was wondering if you want to head over to the arcade, maybe play pool?" I nod my head and we start to walk. We cross a street and make our way to the arcade. We pass by a house with a moving van parked in the front. "Oh god...it's today..." I mused aloud. "What's today, Kenny?" Kyle asks. I don't answer him, I don't even remember if I heard it clear. I start walking toward the house and I pass the movers. "Reigh!" I yell but no responce. "You lookin' for da goyle?" I hear behind me. It was one of the movers, I couldn't really catch the accent. "She's in da livin' room..." he adds as he picks up a dresser. I walk inside without hesitation. Stan and Kyle stay outside and watch.

I see her...

She looks up at me but doesn't move. She's sitting on her steps, smoking the last of her cigarettes. "I'm...sorry...about last night..." I explain. I don't care if she never forgives me or if she thinks I'm lying...I don't want any bad feelings between us. I want her to know that I do care...so maybe she won't block me out of her head forever. She snuffs out the butt and walks toward me. She looks into my eyes...those green eyes. They're watery but I can tell she will not cry...she'll be strong in front of me...no weakness. She parts her lips, as if she wants to say something but cannot get it out. She puts something in my hand and then walks away. I try to call her back but she walks faster. I look at the object, it's a folded piece of paper. I open it up to see it's a poem. It was titled My Choice.

My Choice

I thought I knew enough...
To make my own choices...
To do the things I felt was right
But then I met you

You flipped my world around
You made black into white
And night into day
You've even flipped my heart

I fell for you...
When I told myself "no"
"He will hurt you" I said over again
But I didn't listen

You may hurt me
You could leave me
But I would never think
You would ever cry for me

Now that I leave today
I will always wonder...
On that cold night
Did you even shed a tear?

"I CRIED!" I screamed...but I don't think she heard me..

End of Chapter XIII

HDM: To FG, I did spell Tweek right, it was his first name I used...his full name is Tweek Tweak. (I'm still eating those cookies, they are soooo good!) It was shorter than expected but I'm really tired of looking at this...yeah review and tell me what you think. Email me for any other reason or if you're bored and want to talk to a complete and utter fool.

By the way, I'm working on another south park fanfiction, I will post in a couple of weeks, hopefully this will be wrapped up in my head so I know where this will lead so that I won't feel too overwhelmed...