Chapter 19: Hermione's Troubles
"Hermione, are you all right?" Lily asked kindly as they sat in the very far corner of the common room the next night.
"Of course," Hermione said without looking up from her book in front of her. She groped blindly around the table in front of them for a quill. "What makes you ask such a thing?" She scribbled something down on a scrap of paper tucked in the old pages of her Ancient Runes book.
Lily studied her friend for a moment. "For one, you have been rather quiet since you came back from Remus's birthday party." She paused, waiting for Hermione to say something but was disappointed when Hermione didn't even look up from her book. "And for another, you have completely been avoiding all of the Marauders."
"But you do too," Hermione pointed out, still not looking up. "You avoid them."
"That's because I don't like them," Lily said exasperatedly. "But you, you're friends with them…. Did something happen?" she asked softly.
Hermione thought about telling Lily what had happened in the common room the night before. Oh yes, and you can also tell her why it was so wrong to kiss Remus… Hermione thought. Just tell Lily Evans that I'm from the future and Remus actually ends up teaching me as a respected professor. Hermione shook her head. "Nah… I just really want to focus on schoolwork for the time being."
"So you're not avoiding the Marauders?" Lily asked. Her eyes flashed over Hermione's shoulder.
"No," Hermione said slowly.
"Good," Lily said, watching something behind Hermione, "because they're coming over here right now."
Hermione turned around to find Harry and James leading the other three Marauders over to Hermione and Lily's table. Harry plopped down in the seat next to Hermione while James sat brightly amidst both girls.
"Hello, ladies," James said suavely. Hermione's features lightened while Lily just scowled, darting her eyes back to her homework.
"How can you two work on homework right now?" Sirius asked incredulously as he sat down across from James.
"It's Tuesday, Padfoot," Remus said warily, sitting between Sirius and Lily. "We usually get homework during the week."
"Or have you not been paying attention in class again?" quipped Peter. He sat next to Harry and Sirius.
"Since when do I pay attention in class?" Sirius asked, running a hand through his hair.
"What happens if one of the teachers mentions something important during class and you're daydreaming at the time?" Remus asked.
"I've got a system," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair. "I ask myself, 'Why bother paying attention when other people' AKA you people, my friends, 'can tell me about it later?'"
"Ah, so get the other people to do the work for you?" James asked, smiling.
"That's the idea," Sirius answered brightly.
"Is there a reason why you five are here?" Lily asked wearily.
"Er—we go to school here too, Evans," Sirius laughed.
"You know what I mean," Lily said, near growling.
"You don't enjoy our presence?" James asked, feigning a hurt look.
"No, not really," Lily said, reading her book again. "You're just distracting us from studying."
"Oh, but we'll be quiet, Lily!" James said. "Won't we, mates?" he asked, turning to his friends.
Before any of them could answer, Lily spoke up. "And what's with calling me by my first name now, Potter?" she asked, more curious than fierce.
"Are you saying you want me to call you by your surname? 'Cause I could go back to calling you Evans, if you want," he said offhandedly.
"I really couldn't care less of what you call me, Potter," Lily sighed.
James stole a glance at Harry, who was giving an egging look. James turned back to Lily. "But—could it—could it hurt… to call me… James?" he asked in a soft, mouse-like voice that did not suit him well.
Lily was taken aback at the question. But what threw her off was the tone of voice he had used. Usually he talked to her in a fake deep, mature voice. But this voice seemed natural, almost meek and humane. "James, eh?" Lily said. James nodded once very slightly. "I guess it couldn't hurt too much…"
James beamed, as did Harry (Peter, too, of course). Sirius and Remus looked blasé at James and Lily. They focused on the girl who they were both interested in.
"What's up, Hermione?" Sirius asked. "You seem quiet."
Hermione, from the moment Lily had said that the Marauders were coming their way, had been "focusing" on her Ancient Runes book. But by focusing, she was just staring at one point in the book, her eyes never moving. She didn't even look up when Sirius said her name, and she didn't dare look at Remus.
"I'm just tired," Hermione said, finally moving her eyes across the page of her book to seem as if she was reading. "I didn't get too much sleep last night."
"Well maybe if you stopped reading and took a break—" Remus started, staring intensely at Hermione, who didn't return the look.
Hermione shut her book with a snap. "Actually, I think I'm going to go to bed now. Good night everyone." She left without another word, never looking at Sirius or Remus.
Remus wilted with disappointment as he flopped back in the chair. Sirius's shoulder just sagged a little. Harry, however, looked at Lily.
"What's wrong with her?" he asked her.
"That's what I was trying to figure out before you all came here," Lily answered. "But she won't tell me anything."
It then became a bit clearer to Harry. It probably had to do with the future or something along those lines. Maybe he could talk to her tomorrow and find out what was troubling her.
"She will in time," Harry said comfortingly to Lily. "She's not one to keep secrets for too long, don't worry."
"All right, if you say so," sighed Lily.
But Harry never really got a chance to talk to Hermione the next day. Or the day after that. Hermione seemed to be avoiding every sixth year Gryffindor boy during the entire week. During classes, if the students needed to pair up, Hermione would be with Lily or Saumya at a table farther away from the Marauders than usual. And over the weekend, James went frantic when he heard that the Hufflepuffs got a new Keeper, so he had everyone, especially the Chasers, outside most of the day practicing. It was Wednesday of the next week when Harry finally got to talk to Hermione.
Hermione entered the Potion's dungeon to find she was the first student there. She sighed and sat down in her usual seat, sitting towards the back. She started to pull out the ingredients needed for that day's potion when she felt someone sit down beside her. She turned, expecting Lily's smiling face, to see Harry looking strangely at her.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Harry said concernedly. He glanced over his shoulder, spotting his tactless friends at once. He shooed them away with a glaring eye. The four Marauders finally understood the hint and sat at the opposite side of the room, yet still far enough from the teacher.
"I don't see anything wrong," Hermione answered stiffly. She turned her gaze to her book, which lay upside down on the table.
"Oh, that's good. 'Cause I thought you had been avoiding me and the Marauders for the past week. But since you're not, I feel much better."
Hermione looked at Harry.
"In case you didn't notice," Harry started with an air of annoyance, "that was sarcasm."
"I got that much," Hermione muttered. "Well, what do you want me to say?"
"How about the real truth of why you haven't talked to us for the past week?" Harry asked softly as some Ravenclaws walked past them.
Hermione gave him a skeptical, thoughtful look.
"Is it about the future?" Harry whispered, leaning in so Keegan and Lily wouldn't hear.
Hermione, never able to keep a secret in for too long, couldn't hold what had happened between her and Remus a week before. "I kissed Remus!" she whispered in a shocked voice, as if she had just realized what she had done.
"LUPIN?!" Harry shouted, utterly bewildered. He had not been expecting that as her answer.
"Do we know any other Remus?" Hermione asked hotly.
Harry just opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, looking oddly like a fish. It took him a few moments for his brain to register the information. This gave Hermione some time to fight her blush down.
"Why did you kiss him?" Harry finally asked.
Hermione had been ready for this one. "Well, it was his birthday… and he started to talk about how you and I know a lot of things that normal people don't… and he kept on jumping from conclusion to conclusion… and so to make him forget for the time being… I…"
"What happened to the reasonable, thoughtful girl I was friends with?" Harry moaned. "You know, the one that wouldn't kiss guys to shut them up?"
"It was just a spur of the moment type thing," Hermione said defensively.
"And what is Lupin going to think of you twenty years from now?!" Harry hissed.
Hermione's face stiffened. She hadn't even thought about that.
"Hermione… what has gotten into you lately?" sighed Harry.
"I—I honestly don't know," Hermione said, sounding completely defeated. "But Harry—it gets worse…. Sirius—he kissed me before, but I tried to forget about it…"
"Like a peck or—" he trailed off. Hermione avoided his eye contact, which could only mean one thing. "Eeeeew! You mean Lupin and Black?" he whispered. Professor Smirch sauntered into the classroom. "We are definitely going to talk tonight." It wasn't an invite.
Hermione nodded her head weakly, already dreading the conversation. What had she been thinking?
Hermione was standing by the window of a classroom that looked out onto the lake in front of the forest. She turned around quickly as a door creaked open behind her. It was Harry. Hermione opened her mouth to welcome him, but he cut her off short.
"Forget the greetings, Hermione," Harry said coolly. "Let's just get to why you kissed two Marauders."
Hermione looked down at the floor, then out to the window. She didn't speak awhile, for she had nothing to say.
"Why, Hermione?" Harry asked again, his voice more pleading and less cold. "Why did you do it?"
"Who, Sirius or Remus?" she asked quietly, still staring out through the window.
Harry cringed, but managed to keep his cool. "Sirius."
"Well, he sort of kissed me… and I couldn't pull away…"
"So you decided to kiss him back?!"
"No! …Yes… I don't know!" Hermione sighed. "But I did give S—Sirius a little kiss after he sang that song at Halloween…" she said. Harry could see the tops of her ears shine a bright pink.
"Is that it?" Harry asked.
"Yes."
"And what about Remus?"
Hermione paused, thinking. "Well, back during the first week here, while at Hogsmeade, I pecked his cheek, but I didn't mean for it to be anything."
"And see how well that worked," Harry mumbled moodily.
"But I think his birthday was the only time I actually kissed someone," Hermione answered, ignoring Harry's comment. She still was focusing on the forest outside. An owl was flying to the Owlery.
"And what was that about?" asked Harry, more curious than angered.
"Well, when we were in the common room, he sort of rushed at me and kissed me—on the cheek," Hermione added hastily at the sight of Harry's appalled face. He calmed down a little. "But the next thing I knew, he was talking about you and I, about how we know some things that normal, 'first years' students wouldn't know. And before I could stop myself and think logically—I kissed him." She turned around and faced Harry for the fist time. She didn't look too embarrassed or angry with herself. Her face was passive.
"But why?" Harry asked exasperatedly. "Out of all things you could have done, why that?"
"What else would have cleared his mind from the conversation completely?" Hermione asked, still calm. "What else would make him forget what we had been talking about for a while?"
"But there was no other reason?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"Meaning?" Hermione asked, dreading her answer.
"You don't, er… have feelings for either of them?" he asked.
That was it. That was the one question that popped up into Hermione's mind all the time. Did she actually like Remus Lupin or Sirius Black? They were twice her age in her real time. But in this time… "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know if I do or don't," she said, her voice a little louder.
Harry stared wide-eyed at Hermione, who had just collapsed into a chair in front of her. "But Hermione, they're twenty years older than us!" Harry yelled, astounded at Hermione's answer.
"I know, but in this time… they just seem different," Hermione said.
"Of course they are. They haven't gone through twelve years of Azkaban or twelve years as a lonely werewolf," Harry said edgily.
"But that's the thing," Hermione interrupted. "They're different people when they were younger. And I'm not even sure I like them, Harry!"
"Good, because we can't," Harry said flatly, his tone a bit steely. "It's like when I was asked to be a Marauder. We can't become too close to anyone here. And you dating that McFly boy was too close to the line." Hermione glared at him. She did not want to bring Kyle up. "So all we've have is each other."
Hermione nodded. Harry was right. She would just have to push thoughts of Sirius and Remus out of her mind, or at least to the back of her head.
Harry suddenly started to laugh.
"What?" Hermione asked, sounding hurt that Harry would choose a time like this to laugh.
Harry shook his head. "I just imagined what this conversation would have been like if Ron was here." He laughed some more.
Hermione paused, but then chuckled. "That would have been… interesting."
"Meaning that he would have been freaking out," Harry laughed. He got out of his chair and made his way towards the door, Hermione right behind him. "Especially after seeing him when he found out about Krum."
"This conversation would have lasted a lot longer if he was here," Hermione said. They both walked out of the classroom. Both started to walk down the hall that would lead them back to Gryffindor Tower.
"Yeah, he'd still be yelling right about now," Harry said. The twosome gave a little chuckle.
Silence followed them.
"I really miss him," Hermione said sadly.
"Me, too. I miss everyone," added Harry mournfully. "As much fun as I'm having here, I'm afraid that somehow, we'll mess something up back home."
"I know exactly how you feel, Harry."
"I wonder when we'll be heading home," Harry said lightly.
"Not for a while," Hermione said darkly. "But it seems like we've been here for quite some time, doesn't it?"
Harry nodded. "I wonder how everyone is doing back home without us."
"Yes, I'm sure everyone is panicked. Voldemort's back and Harry Potter is missing. Not two good things."
"I was thinking about our friends, but I guess the entire wizarding world is troubled, too, with our absences."
"I hope everyone's doing all right," Hermione said a bit fearfully.
"With Dumbledore there, nothing too bad can happen," Harry said confidently.
"I just hope no one gets hurt."
Harry put a comforting arm around Hermione's shoulder, but he couldn't promise anything, so he kept quite.
As they walked into their common room minutes later, Harry spotted Lily and gave her a reassuring wink. Hermione, her head a lot clearer than before, was smiling. Instead of avoiding Remus's and Sirius's gaze, she looked straight into their eyes and gave them a cheery smile. Harry was right. Everything was going to end up all right.
A/N: Wow, this is a short chapter, isn't it? Sorry, I just wanted to split up these next two chapters. Each has a similar theme, but at the same time, they don't belong together. So I'm pretty sure that the next chapter will be on the shorter side, too.
I am sorry to say that I won't be updating as often for a while. But there won't be a month in between chapters, I can promise you that! I just hope you have the patience to bear with me. Homework and football practice are making my nights just a titch too hectic.
Oh yes, about that poll I had at the end of the last chapter. I appreciate all of your answers. Sirius got the most (by three votes), but that doesn't mean I promise Sirius will win Hermione's heart! And for those who said that the story is called "Saving Siri" and therefore it's about Sirius… good job at catching that! But I'm afraid that doesn't give it away. It's called Saving Siri because the whole reason Harry and Hermione are back there was they were originally trying to save Sirius. But whoever doesn't end up with Hermione, I can assure you that they'll all still be friends in the end. No one hates each other!
Just so you know, Sirius will live at the end. I could not keep him dead (he shouldn't be in the first place!), so no worries there.
The next chapter will have the Marauders having a serious discussion, just like Harry and Hermione had. They become suspicious of the two new sixth years. What will happen? …
Thank you all you great reviewers! I would individually thank you (you deserve it for reviewing) but I'm running out of time on my computer. THANKS!