Bad Thrags, bad Thrags
Whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do
When they come for you?
The blast of the revolver echoed through Muffy's condominium. The powerful recoil hurled George onto his back, causing him to lose his grip on the gun.
The sphere-headed alien halted and began to stagger. Green liquid began to ooze from a bullet-shaped hole in what appeared to be its abdomen.
When Muffy took her hands from her ears, she was relieved to see that the Thrag had pointed its firearm away from them and was limping toward the space portal, faint whining sounds emerging from its round helmet. Once it had vanished from her view, the shimmering gateway faded out.
George sat up, shaking his head, to find Muffy looking over the charred spot on Heath's chest. "He's dead," the monkey girl told him.
"What about the alien?" asked George.
"You wounded him," replied Muffy. "He went back where he came from."
George turned and stared in wonderment at the revolver lying innocently at his feet. I shot somebody, he realized. I almost committed murder.
"We'd better get out of here, George," said Muffy just as her mother scurried into the room, screaming in terror.
"My baby!" wailed Mrs. Crosswire, wrapping her arms around her daughter. "Did the man hurt you? Georgie, you were so brave to shoot him with that…that gun…?"
George backed away nervously from the frantic woman.
"Where did that gun come from?" shouted Mrs. Crosswire. "You know we don't allow guns in our house! Who brought it in?"
"Listen to me, Mom," said Muffy, grabbing her boyfriend by the hand. "Call the police, call Dad, get as far away from here as possible, and don't ask questions."
"Come back here!" Mrs. Crosswire called after them as they raced down the hallway. "Don't leave me here alone with a dead body!"
Muffy and George ran like bats out of hell until they were standing across the street from the condominium complex. "They'll come back for us, I know it," the monkey girl panted. "They don't want any witnesses."
"I'm afraid, Muffy," admitted George.
"You can't be afraid," Muffy complained. "You're my boyfriend."
"Let's go find Augusta," George suggested. "Maybe she has some magical thing that'll protect us."
They hurried down the street, not bothering to hold hands or say hello to the friends they passed on the way to the Westboro building. Reaching Augusta's door, they opened it and charged in unannounced.
Augusta quickly threw a rag over the baby on her chest when she saw the children enter. "Can I help you?" she inquired.
Before Muffy could open her mouth, she noticed that Augusta had a very familiar visitor.
"Oh, hi, Angela," she said to the rat woman who was seated in the easy chair.
"Nice to see you, Muffy," said Angela Ratburn pleasantly. "Now that you're here, maybe you can talk some sense into Augusta."
"What kind of sense?" Muffy asked her good friend.
"She can't see the wisdom of giving up her baby for adoption," said Angela seriously.
Muffy scowled. "I tried to talk some sense into you. It didn't work."
Angela stood up, and her faded floral dress fell down around her ankles. "Graham is going to live with Prunella's family," she informed Muffy. "He'll be happy with them."
"Aliens are trying to kill us," George chimed in.
"Don't listen to her, Augusta," said Muffy to the rabbit woman. "She's your baby. You gave birth to her fair and square."
"You and I know that," said Augusta glumly, "but my insurance company and my real estate agency don't believe Petula's really mine."
"Aliens are trying to kill us," George repeated.
"Those cretins!" said Muffy indignantly. "Let me talk to them. If they don't believe you, they'll believe a Crosswire."
"It's no use," insisted Augusta as she moved Petula aside and pulled up the neck of her blouse. "I conceived and gave birth in the space of thirty seconds. No insurance company will ever buy that story. I'm stuck with a hospital bill I can't afford to pay, because I don't have a job."
"Aliens are trying to kill us," said George for the third time.
"I'm only trying to help you," said Angela earnestly. "It's no shame to give your baby to someone who can take better care of her. You became a mother by accident. You became a woman by accident. This is not the life you asked for, and you don't have to live it."
"Yes, I do," said Augusta firmly, "because I love Petula."
"What do you know about motherhood?" Angela chided her. "You were a man for most of your life."
"The debate is over," said Augusta, who then kissed her baby on the forehead. Turning to George, she asked, "What was that you said about aliens trying to kill you?"
Muffy stepped forward. "George thought you might have a magic stone, or a magic talisman, or a lucky rabbit's foot"—Augusta winced visibly—"or something magical to keep us safe from the aliens."
Augusta chuckled. "First, I have my hands full with Petula, so I hardly have time to sleep. Second, if I did create a magical device to protect you from alien attack, it'd be too heavy for you to carry." Her eyes widened suddenly. "Third, the aliens are standing behind you at this very moment."
Muffy and George whirled. To their horror, a pair of armed Thrags was towering over them…
to be continued