Traicit et fati litora magnus amor

June 1997

I look up at the night sky, watching the stars. The breeze blows across my skin, and I shiver. I can see my breath in white puffs. I pulled my blanket tighter around my body and sighed.

"Natalie, are you alright?" I heard a soft voice ask. I turned and smiled at my long time friend, Remus. I nodded as I reached up and brushed a lock of his brown hair.

"Just thinking. I miss him." He gave me a sad smile.

"I know. I know." His voice was soft as he drew me gently into his arms. "I miss him too. I miss all of them." I could feel the beginnings of tears. I pressed my face into his chest. I feel his arms come around me. I begin to sob. Back when we had been in school, I had never given into tears in their presence. It just hadn't seemed right. But now, with all our friends, gone, my love, gone, my heart, broken, what else could I do? I felt something wet hit the top of my head. Remus is crying, I realized, sadly. I lifted my head and looked into his tear-filled eyes.

"Oh, Remus. Why couldn't things have ended differently?" He shook his head.

"I don't know." It was that simple. I hear someone clearing their throat and I turn. It's Albus.

"Please, come inside. There is someone here to see you." I glance up at Remus and I nod my acceptance. He looks so tired. I smile sadly. He never gets a break. My feet felt heavy as I follow the Headmaster into the foyer of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. I glance around, holding back tears. Oh Sirius. Why did you die? As I try not to cry I continue to follow Albus and Remus into the sitting room. Remus pauses causing me to slam into his back. Unable to keep the frown from my face I lean around him.

"Re-" I broke off and stare. It's not possible. It just ISN'T! Standing in front of me was Sirius Black. "Sirius."

Shoulder length black hair fell softly about his face. His blue eyes sparkle as his lips curve into a mischievous smile. In a teasing voice he spoke. "Hello. Neither Heaven nor Hell wanted me."

A helpless shrug. "Gave Satan a helluva headache and drove God nutters."

He starts laughing. It wasn't really that funny. "Helluva get it? Hell…helluva….HAHAHAHA"

"Sirius. How are you…" I couldn't finish, how could I. Only he could die then joke about it, I want to smack him.

"Ancient Magic." Albus' voice broke in. Remus and I both turn to Albus. "Like the kind that saved Harry from Voldemort all those years ago. As Sirius fell through the veil, his mind focused on one thing, that one thing saved his life. When he focused on that, there was a one year hiatus At the end of this year, if the one thing he thought of hadn't changed, then he would be given his life back." He paused, his eyes twinkling. I hate that. "Obviously, it hasn't changed."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about Albus?" I ask as I frown. No more lemon drops for him. I notice Sirius shift restlessly from one foot to the other and grin. I remember it as a nervous habit, one that always proclaimed that he was hiding something. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Albus take Remus' arm and lead him from the room. Where they going'?

"Natalie. I." My gaze turns back to Sirius as he seems to search for whatever it is he wants to say. "The reason I'm still alive is because I thought of how much you loved me. I didn't want to leave that. I couldn't leave that." My eyes widen, comically I'm sure.

"Sirius. Why didn't you say so before?"

"Because I was in Azkaban. I've changed and I was afraid that you couldn't love the person I've become." Sirius kept his eyes on the floor uncharacteristically.

"I could never stop loving you."

The End

Traicit et fati litora magnus amor.

A great love can cross the bounds of fate.

Traicit et fati litora magnus amor.