"You can't be serious!" Mr. Nordgren sputtered at the smug-looking monkey man before him.

"Look around you, Carl," said Mr. Crosswire, waving his hand at the picture window and the city that sprawled endlessly below their feet. "460 million people, God knows how many different alien races, and they all get along. Have you seen any poverty? Have you seen any homeless people?"

"That's the face they put forward for tourists, Ed," said the moose man sharply. "You have no idea how hard it'll be for you to make a living here."

"Or how easy," said Mr. Crosswire with a confident grin.

The two men argued for what seemed an eternity to Muffy and George—fifteen minutes, maybe even twenty. Their wives had the same difficulty in coming to an agreement.

"You have a baby, for crying out loud," Mrs. Nordgren reminded Mrs. Crosswire. "How will you make sure he gets the right nutrition? How will you find a proper school for him?"

Both George and Muffy experienced a sinking feeling as they realized they would soon have to part. "I wish we could all go together," said George, his grip on Muffy's hand tightening.

"I'll never forget you, George," said Muffy with emotion. "Even if I hook up with an alien boyfriend, or a whole string of alien boyfriends, you'll always have a special place in my memory."

That's so sweet, thought George.

After having a boyfriend like you, thought Muffy, I'm ready for whatever weirdness the alien dating scene can throw at me.

"I hope I get to see you again, Muffy," said George, and the two children shared a heartwarming kiss.

"And furthermore, their version of Earth coffee is terrible," Mr. Nordgren ranted. "I wouldn't stay in this city if they paid me to."

"They are paying us to, Carl," replied Mr. Crosswire, just as the alien Jenny entered the hotel room through the sliding door.

"Mr. Elwood," the spiky-haired girl addressed Mr. Nordgren, "I looked up the location of the Earth embassy. It's in the capital city of Labui-keth, more than two thousand of your miles from here."

"Take us there," the moose man ordered without a moment's pause.

"It's a two-day journey," Jenny told him, "and there are no attractions in the capital—only government buildings."

"We like government buildings," said Mr. Nordgren, feigning delight. "And we like long trips. Don't we, kids?"

George groaned. "Are we there yet?" said Sal dejectedly.

Jenny's bold yellow eyes registered concern. "But…but there's so much happening in the city tonight," she said, her three voices quivering. "You must attend the Horsehead Nebula Symphony Orchestra's concert. It's a rare opportunity; all the other orchestras in their class were destroyed by Dark Augusta."

Mr. Nordgren took on a comforting tone of voice. "Don't worry, Jenny. Muffy's not going anywhere, and she saw everything that George saw. One witness should be enough for the hearing to take place, shouldn't it?"

"According to regulations, both witnesses have to…"

Jenny caught herself and stopped speaking. Her pointed ears started to wiggle.

"Aha!" exclaimed Mr. Nordgren triumphantly. "You do know who we are." The alien girl started to back away, but the moose man grabbed her slender arm before she could escape.

"I was right," George boasted to his sister and Muffy. "She is a phony."

Jenny squirmed and struggled, but Mr. Nordgren held her tightly. "You don't work for the hotel," he said accusingly. "You're part of this so-called witness protection program. I want to know what's really going on. Talk!"

Jenny calmed down, then swallowed. "It's true," she admitted. "I'm a Provision Theta agent. I was assigned at the last minute to pose as a concierge, guide you around the city, and make sure you don't wander far from the hotel. This is my first time on Orelob; I've been learning as I go."

Satisfied, Mr. Nordgren released her wrist. "We're going to the Earth embassy," he declared. "We could use a guide. Are you in?"

Jenny's yellow pupils seemed to roll back into her head as she thought.

"We're prepared to go without you," said the moose man.

The artichoke-headed girl finally nodded her assent.

(A/N: Fear not, true believers. The cat women are coming soon.)