Even if Bitzi hadn't been utterly absorbed in her maternal duties, she wouldn't have noticed that her son was reading a piece of literature far beyond his grade level. This was because Buster had cleverly concealed the middle-school sex education brochure inside of a Bionic Bunny comic book.

The words shocked and astonished him, the pictures doubly so. I'll never look at girls the same way again, he thought. From now on I'll cover my eyes.

His mother took a quick break from rocking Petula to gently scold him: "I wish you'd put down that comic book and read something really educational."

Be careful what you wish for, thought the bunny boy.

Once he had finished reading the pamphlet, he hurried back to Binky's house to share what he had discovered. The bulldog boy still had his face buried in the dictionary—quite literally, as he had dozed off while learning the word affectation.

"Binky!" said Buster, charging into the room without an invitation. "You've got to read this."

The boy lazily raised his head out of the large book. Examining the booklet in Buster's hand, he mumbled, "I hope this is better than that 'Russian Weather Machines Caused Hurricane Katrina' rubbish you showed me last time."

"It's scarier," said Buster, slapping the brochure onto Binky's desk. "I used to think there was nothing scarier than girls. But there is something scarier—it's called sex."

His curiosity piqued, Binky flipped through the glossy pages. One paragraph in particular, and its accompanying illustration, brought him to a dead stop. "Oh, gosh!" he exclaimed in outrage. "That's so gross! I would never do that!"

"I'm not ready for that kind of relationship," said Buster, his voice quivering with anxiety. "If I'd known that's what boys and girls do to make babies, I'd never have let Fern jump on top of me the way she did."

"Oh, geez," Binky moaned. "I think she wants to have your baby, man."

Buster's expression grew dark. "How am I gonna tell her?" he said glumly. "Do you remember when she told us about the story she wrote in her diary? She had a crush on Alan, and in the story she jumped off a cliff into the ocean because he was untrue to her. Well, I read her diary—and it's really in there."

"Gosh," said Binky in astonishment. "She let you read her diary?"

Buster grinned sheepishly. "Er, uh, yeah. She let me."

"You and I have the same problem," Binky admitted. "I need to find a way to let Molly down easily."

"Whoa," said Buster in astonished fear. "Molly wouldn't kill herself—but she just might kill you."

"Don't panic," said Binky earnestly. "I'm sure we can come up with an idea if we put our heads together."

"But that would hurt," Buster protested.

"I didn't say bang our heads together," said Binky in an incredulous tone.

The two boys sat across the room from each other and began to think. They thought for what seemed like a very long time, but was in actuality a very short time.

"Got anything?" said Binky.

"Yeah," was Buster's reply. "Your bedroom is cold."

They thought some more. "We could shave our heads and wear robes to school," Binky proposed. "The girls'll think we've joined the Hare Krishnas."

"Yeah," said Buster with a wide, excited smile. "Here's an even better idea—let's join the Hare Krishnas."

Binky slapped his forehead and groaned.

"I met some Hare Krishna monks at the Chicago O'Hare airport once," Buster related. "Their lifestyle sounds appealing—going without meat, hours of chanting every day…"

"Let's bang our heads together," Binky interrupted.

Three painful head bangs later, Buster presented another idea. "Let's go to school wearing wigs and dresses, and tell everyone we've turned into girls, like Van did."

"Hey, I like that idea!" said Binky semi-deliriously. "But to make it more convincing, we'll plug the bathtub drain with marshmallows until it overflows."

Buster only stared blankly at him.

"What?" said Binky peevishly.

"That actually made sense to me," said Buster in a worried tone. "We'd better get our brains examined."

Binky sighed. "This is gonna take a while. Let's switch back to the George subplot."

At that very moment, George and his whole family were asleep in their train seats—except for Sal, who was pressing her nose against the window glass to watch a grove of pastel-colored alien trees whiz by. There wasn't a Thrag in sight.

"Booooring," said Binky.

"We'll just have to tell them the truth," said Buster in exasperation. "We're not ready to have girlfriends. End of story."

THE END

"That's not what I meant," said Buster.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," said Binky with a nod.

"And another thing," Buster went on. "We should dump them at the same time, together. That way, they're less likely to take it personally."

"Good idea," said Binky. "But just to make sure it isn't another brain-damaged delusion, let's sleep on it."

What will happen when Buster and Binky dump their girlfriends? Find out in the next thrilling chapter! (Oh, and the cat women will finally make their appearance.)