Chapter 11 – Shannon and Boone Plus Vodka

Enter Anna Delia Van Camp, the daughter of a big-time movie producer and his trophy wife, slightly alcoholic, and as slutty as they come. Anna wore a 32 DD and made sure everyone was aware of this fact. She also had a tiny waist, and legs about a mile long. It was a "no duh" that she was a swimsuit model, but her personality was a little different than most. Fluent in swear words, as rich as Oprah, it was a wonder that she had ever gone out with someone as naïve as Boone.

"Hey, you bitch!" She exclaimed upon arrival. "I haven't seen you in such a fucking long time!"

"I know! So, you know that money I told you about? That I got from Boone?" Shannon replied to her best friend.

"Yeah, you little criminal, you conned it out of him," Anna said, openly searching through Boone's drawers.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for your brother's porn magazines, dumbass." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I honestly don't think he has any."

"Well, he's not as innocent and virginal as he pretends to be," noted Anna offhandedly. Shannon raised her eyebrows. "Oh, quit pretending you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not stupid, Shan."

"What do you mean?"

"Jesus Christ, do I really have to spell it out for you? Sometimes you're as stupid as your brother. It's not like you guys haven't fucked before!"

"That's not – "

"Shut the fuck up," Anna said good-naturedly. "I think it's hot. If you ever want to – "

"Anna? Shut up."

"Who was on top?"

"It depends – depended."

"Uh huh," said Anna. "Oh! Success! Not as cute as we thought, huh?"

"You found some?"

"Oh, fuck that. It's just the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Wimpy."

"Weren't you in that?"

"Almost."

"See, I told you so! He's just a pretty little good boy like I said."

"Pretty little good boys don't fuck their sister."

"Right." Said Shannon. "So, I was wondering, if, with my new money, I could rent a house and we could be roomies."

"Oh," said Anna, "Sounds cool. I live in this place near a bunch of old people, and I swear, this old guy was like, checking me out, and… EW. So yeah, sure."

"So –"

"God, is there anything he's hiding from us?" Anna pulled out a wedding magazine and threw it aside disgustedly. "One of mommy's magazines! You know why he doesn't have any porn, right?"

"Um."

"Because he only has eyes for –"

"Shannon?" Said Boone's voice suddenly from outside the door. "You there?"

"Yeah!" She called back.

"Okay, I have to work, so can you stay out of the way?"

"Um… whatever." She rolled her eyes, just as Boone walked in with… Emily?

"Oh my god," she was saying, "I can't believe we still have to do this project together! I don't even want to, we are so –"

"Anna?" Said Boone incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh come on, Boone. That's no way to greet the girl you deflowered!" Ha. Leave it to Anna to say something audacious. Emily's eyes widened.

"Oh please," Boone retorted, "You were never a virgin. You were born this way."

"Fine. It's the boy I deflowered. Who's this pretty little thing?" Pretty little thing?

"This is – "

"I'm Emily, and I'm the ex because I just –"

"That's great, then we can be exes together!"

"Um," said Emily standoffishly. "Do you know about… about them?" She looked at Shannon.

"I can still hear you," said Shannon loudly.

"Yeah, wouldn't they have such hot kids?" Said Anna.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Emily squealed. "They'd probably have webbed feet! Ew!" But Emily was ignored.

"Boone, you okay?" Anna smirked, approaching him and standing extremely close to him, as if she was going to kiss him. He did not look okay, he had the look of a scared rabbit, and his face was bright red. "You're blushing," she whispered, putting her hand on his cheek. He slapped it away.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" He paused. "Shannon! Why did you – you know I – "

"Can't stand being in a room where you've fucked everyone in it?" Shannon finished. "Is it because you feel too hor – "

"Should I just do the report by myself?" Emily piped up nervously.

"No, it's fine. Okay, Anna and Shannon, this is my house, and I'm going to make you leave now! Okay?"

"I don't know," said Shannon slowly, "No, that's okay, and I don't think I will."

"No, actually, Shannon, maybe we should go, and we can go to the beach, get some guys, party all night long…" Boone looked extremely flustered; he did not want Shannon with other guys.

"Okay! Fine, stay!"

"Yeah, okay, Boone? I think I'll just write the Intro and the background? You can do the procedures and the conclusion, and we'll see each other in class on Thursday? I'm just, not comfortable here!" Emily squeaked.

"Um… okay?" said Boone. Emily walked towards the door.

"Hey, Emily?" Said Anna as she left. "When you leave, Boone and Shannon are going to do it, and I'm going to watch." Emily broke into a run and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

After she left, Anna and Shannon broke into a silent fit of laughter. Boone glared at them, but then he was amused by Shannon's giggles, and a smile started tugging at the corners of his lips, and he was laughing too.

Eventually, their laughter subsided, and Anna exclaimed, "So! Who's up for a party tonight?"

"Oh god," Boone groaned.

"Don't be such a tight ass, Boone, let's go!" Whined Shannon.

"I have to study!"

"You know, Boone, I was walking down the street, and I heard some guy from your school talking about you, and you know what he said? He said, 'Boone Carlyle is such a complete and utter dork! I think he's gay."

"Well, I guess we could –"

"Wait," said Anna, "I have a better idea. Let's …" she pulled a huge bottle of vodka out of her Chanel purse. "Play Ultimate Truth or Dare!"

"Oh my god," Groaned Boone. "How old are we?"

"But wait," said Anna, "It's with drinks. Each time you answer a question, you take a –" She unscrewed the cap of the bottle, "Take a big ol' swig –" She drank a long sip of the stuff, and sighed deeply after swallowing it, "From the bottle."

Boone looked at her. "No. I am not doing that."

The fan whirred around and around on the ceiling. It was going so fast and so much, Shannon suddenly felt the urge to throw up. She looked around and noticed that she was lying spread-eagled on a bed, all sticky and hot under that blankets, and her head… owwww….

"Shit," she sighed, burying her head into… Boone?

"Ouch! Stop it!" He groaned.

"Don't talk so louuuuud, my head hurts!"

"What did we do?" He asked.

"Where am I?"

"What about our rule?"

"Where'd Anna go?"

"Anna was here?" Shannon tried to crawl out of bed, but fell over as she reached for the lamp. "My head hurts so fucking much!"

"This is the worst hangover I've ever had." He said. "The fan is like… moving." He tried to stand up, also, and succeeded, but wobbled a bit, and walked into the kitchen slowly. Shannon fell back into bed and lay there.

"Anna, I fucking HATE you!" Boone called.

"Shut up!" Yelled Shannon, "My head!"

"You shu' up!"

"I think Jesus hates me!" She wailed. Well, wasn't she politically correct?

"Jesus loves you Shannon." Shannon peeled herself from the bed and walked into the kitchen, sitting down.

"How are my little lovebirds?" Exclaimed a voice. It was Anna, looking fully refreshed and wearing a very bright blue shirt.

"Oh crap," said Boone. "Your shirt… it hurts."

"Hey, don't worry! I've got enchiladas and coffee and some eggs for you guys!"

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"I'm going to go take a piss," said Anna.

As she left, Boone stepped up behind Shannon, who was washing her face and the sink, and breathed down her neck, "We needa kill Anna." Shannon meekly moved her hand, trying to push him away, and failing miserably.

"What am I wearing? I can't look down."

"You're wearing a spandex jumpsuit."

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh." She said. "What am I wearing then?"

"I can't look down." He responded. "But you have a huge hickey on your neck."

"Anna, I fucking HATE YOU!" Shannon screamed.

"Shannon! What the fuck are you trying to murder me?" He moved away from her.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried. Anna arrived into the kitchen again, holding some aspirin and two coffees.

"Here," She said, giving them each four aspirin and a coffee.

"Oh! Finally!" He groaned.

"So…" Said Shannon, "What exactly happened last night?" Anna smiled mischievously.

"Why don't you kids sit down for that fun little story?" They dragged themselves to the table, sitting down next to each other.

"So?" Said Boone apprehensively.

"It all started when I dared you to kiss Shannon, but the thing is, I couldn't get you to stop." Shannon buried her head in her hands. "You were like, full-on, on top of each other, grinding, salivating rather profusely, like –" Boone moaned in agony. "It's okay, though, it was like, really hot, high-quality porn."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?"

She didn't respond. "Anyway, you had drunk, like, half the bottle at this point, and you were saying all this weird stuff – like –"

"Do I want to hear this?"

"No fucking way. You were like unaware of my presence, like 'I love you, oh my god, I want to fuck you! I fucking love you!'" Shannon snorted. "And Shannon, you were like, asking him all these perverted… favors? It was so fucking hilarious! You were tell him to like, kiss your boobs, and like 'I love you! Jesus Fuck, I love you!' And you were slurring so badly! You two cannot hold your liquor at ALL. And then you were like, 'Can I –' Anna started laughing so hard she could barely talk. You were like, 'Can I give you bj? And then I was like, okay, get a fucking room already, so I was like, telling you that, and then you were like 'Boone, we have to get a…" and then he tried to stand up and he couldn't, because, you know, and then he fell over and was all, "A what?" And then, somehow, you pushed him up again the wall and were all over each other again, but somehow you got in his room, and sort of took the vodka with you." She said weakly. There was a stunned silence for a moment, and then…

"You let us take the vodka?"

"We didn't use a co –"

"We fucked?"

"How – "

"But the vodka bottle is empty now!"

"Damn you!"

"Jesus Chri –"

"Shut up!" Yelled Anna, and Shannon and Boone cringed.

"Headache…" he sighed.

"I'm not finished! Then I heard all these noises from the bedroom, and I think you definitely did a bl –"

"Do I have to hear this?" Shannon asked.

Anna smirked. "Look at Boone, he's like, 'Damn! I don't remember!'"

"I am NOT!"

"What do you remember?"

"Something about boobs… and kissing… and…that's it. Shannon, what about you?"

"I dunno…"

"Yeah you do…"

"Okay fine! I remember you uh, sucking my, uh…" She gestured to her chest, "A lot."

"You guys should really consider a career in porn movies."

"Anna, get out."

"Oh, come on."

"Fine. But you so owe us." Shannon nodded.

"Are you an 'us' now?"

"No!" They answered in unison.

"We're going to stop…"

"Stop what? Fucking? Kissing? Boob su – "

"Oh my god! Shut up! Yes, everything!"

"Why the hell would you do that? You two are fucking adorable!"

"Well this little thing I like to call 'incest' for starters." Said Shannon.

"So… move to Tennessee! And it's not really real incest!"

"And we hate each other."

"Bullshit. You're getting along now."

"All we ever do it fight!"

"And fuck," noted Anna.

"But we're going to stop."

"Yeah."

"Starting now."

"Boone, you've got lipstick on your neck," noted Anna. Awkward silence.

"So… Anna, about that buying a house thing?" Shannon said.

"Let's do it."

"Can we, you know, refrain from saying anything with a double meaning related to sex right now?" Said Boone.

"You're right," Anna said, smirking. "Screw sex."

"I'm going back to bed." Said Shannon, falling into the bedroom and plopping onto the bed. His bed. Oops. Well, she was just sleeping there!

"Uh, Shan? I guess I'll call you later?" Anna said, getting ready to leave.

"Don't ever talk to me again, I hate you," she mumbled to the pillow. "And Anna? With friends like these…?"

"Hey Shannon? With brothers like these, who needs boyfriends?"

"Shut up."

"I love you like a sister, Shannon."

"I'm not even going to respond to that!"