Chapter 12- Anna

"Hey Anna?" Said Shannon pointedly one morning as she sat down at their kitchen table as she cut a grapefruit into miniscule pieces.

"Yeah, I know, I had the volume of the TV too loud two nights ago, but I swear it won't happen again!" Anna was opening a cupboard, standing in front of the sink, her terry bathrobe dragging on the floor over her least sexy pair of pajamas.

"Well, it's not –"

"Or was it that I forgot to take out the trash? Or left the phone somewhere?"

"It's – "

"I'm sorry!" Cried Anna. "I just can't believe they chose that other stupid model over me! I'm doing everything wrong now. And I got fuckin' fat!"

"Anna –"

"No, I know, you want to leave, it's fine, I know I'm using all the cash to buy Ben and Jerry's and Vodka! I'm sorry!" Anna sat down. "I'm just so tired of this… why don't any of them want me for me?"

"What did this guy do?" Asked Shannon. "Bobby? Ben?"

"I don't even know his name, I'm always drunk and horrible and fucking stupid!" She said, a hitch in her voice.

"Anna –"

"No, it's fine, you should go if you want, I don't want to mess you up just because you feel sorry for me. If you want, you can go."

"Um." Shannon had indeed been planning to tell Anna that she was going to leave.

"Oh my God!" Wailed Anna, pounding her fists on the table. "You're so lucky! You've got someone right in front of you who loves you so fucking much, and all I get is…" She rolled her eyes, "Booby or whatever his name is! He didn't even wait until the morning, but he left right after! Right – fucking – after!" She sniffed. "You know who was really good at making me feel better when I was in one of these moods?"

"Who?" Said Shannon patiently.

"Your brother. Boone,"

"Well, that's because he has to deal with me."

Anna smiled wanly. "Can you call him for me?"

"Why? He's completely mortified of you." Anna burst into tears.

"There goes my eyeliner and my mascara, and my shame!"

"You're being overly dramatic."

"You're not helping, Shannon!" She hiccupped.

"I'll call Boone and see if he can cheer you up." Sighed Shannon.

"Okay." She frowned. "Don't worry, I won't hook up with your brother/boyfriend again. I know how much you despised that, I could see right through your whole 'Oops, my skirt just went up, what do you know, Boone and Anna are here' act or yours."

Shannon pursed her lips. "Do you want his number or not, Anna?"

"Yes. But I want you to call and tell him that your hormonal best friend is being insane and she needs him to cheer her up."

"Fine." Shannon dialed his number on the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi," said Boone's voice. Shannon felt a little bit uncomfortable all of the sudden. Although she had seen him under their new rule and they had stayed true to it, it was still pretty awkward.

"Um. Hey, Shannon."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home."

"Why are you at home? I thought you were at your apartment."

"I felt like coming home. So, what's up?"

"Well, I don't really know how to say this, but Anna is…" Shannon walked into the bedroom and shut the door. "Anna's not really doing so good, and…"

"Well maybe you should do something about it,"

"I am doing something about it, I'm calling you."

"But that's not – "

"Shut up. She's like, all emotional, and feeling bad about herself."

"Anna? Like, our Anna? Feeling bad about herself?"

"Yeah, she's crying all the time and stuff. She gained, like, 15 pounds."

"Maybe she's hiding something from you."

"I thought about that, maybe she's pregnant or something?"

"I am NOT pregnant!" Shouted Anna from the other side of the door. "I checked already! I'm not as stupid as you all… damn it, damn it!"

"Hang on," Shannon said, and then called to Anna, "What's wrong now?"

"I stubbed my toe on the fucking door!"

"Then just get a friggin' Band-Aid!" She said to Anna. Boone?" She said to the phone.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to give you the pleasure of talking to Anna now."

"I'm just waiting with baited breath here." Shannon opened the door and handed the phone to Anna. She stood near the other side of the door, grabbed the other phone, and eavesdropped on what they were saying. Like it or not, Shannon was feeling just a little bit jealous.

"Hi, Boone." Anna was saying. "Thanks for talking to your schizophrenic ex-girlfriend."

"I didn't come without a fight. So tell me what's up?"

"I'm fat."

"You're not fat. Maybe you gained a couple of pounds because you're upset."

"Maybe. What should I do?"

"Well, why do you feel like that?"

"You sound like a fucking shrink."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should be a psychiatrist. But not in LA. LA people go to shrinks when their cars break down, you seem more like you're from somewhere more down to earth. But Shannon and I are real LA girls."

"Yeah, I guess you two are." Shannon could hear the smile in his voice, but was careful to be silent so that Anna wouldn't know she was listening.

"Shannon is moving out."

"Oh really? Why?"

"I'm difficult and annoying. I get drunk a lot; wallow in self-pity every morning – hung over and ditched by my latest one-nighter and I complain to her all day long, until I get all... whored up and go to a party, and do the same thing again! I'm such a fucking loser!" She cried.

"Well, maybe you should try to stop drinking. Then you wouldn't regret stuff so much."

"We tried to do that once when we were going out, remember?"

"Yeah."

"It didn't work. When I drank again, I came over to your house, and…" She laughed bitterly. "We had some pretty wild sex that night."

"Yeah..."

"And the next day Shannon wore your favorite dress. I guess that says enough in itself." Shannon winced uncomfortably. Had she been that obvious?

"Um, Anna - " Boone said.

"I'm making you feel uncomfortable. I always do that. Look, I know you're in love with Shannon, but can't you just pretend I'm her for a second and try to help me?" Boone was silent.

"You pretended I was her like, the whole time we were together, didn't you?" He was still silent. Anna started crying. "I thought you were the only guy I've ever been with who didn't just want me for sex! I thought you wanted me for me when we were a couple! That's why I called you! You made me feel good about myself, Boone! I was so… I was really in love with you. I know it seems impossible for such a coldhearted bitch like me, but I think you were the only guy I ever loved. I'm serious." Boone was quiet. "I don't anymore, though. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be inside of your precious little Shannon tonight again." She finished mockingly.

"Anna, I don't think you have a right to - " Shannon couldn't hear this anymore. She hung up and started taking the sheets off her bed, an indifferent expression stubbornly pasted upon her face. Ten minutes later, after she had stuffed most of her things into a variety of boxes, she paused because she had heard Anna screaming.

She was yelling, "Do you know how badly I wish someone would love me like you love Shannon? Do you?"

When Shannon went outside of her room to say goodbye to Anna, she found her passed out on the couch, a half-empty bottle of Grey Goose at her side. Jesus Christ. In a sudden urge of hospitality, Shannon threw out the bottle, washed Anna's face, which was covered in spit, and half-dragged, half-carried her into her room. Dysfunctional as they may be, Boone and Anna were her family and that was how it was going to be from now on. But looking back, Shannon realized that that was how it had always been.