DOWN ON THE INSIDE, PRETTY ON THE OUTSIDE! (I LOOOOOOOVE THIS SONG!)
Hi. I've only recently discovered Bowling for Soup, which makes me seriously deprived. I must buy all their cds. And some more Pop tarts (all hail the mighty toaster when one's oven/stove is seriously screwed up).
Anyways, wazzup? Know what? Life sux, and I love it! (does a dance)(if anyone's curious, the reason for the good mood is school is finally OUT!)
P.S. You guys rock! Almost 20 reviews! (does a dance) Wohoo!
"Daaaaaaash!"
"Not again. What is it, Vi?"
"Com'ere a sec, I need your opinion!"
"Vi, no matter what yur wearin, you look just as ugly as ever!"
"Mom!"
"Dashiell Robert Parr!"
"What!"
"If you don't knowck it off, I promise I will set Jack-Jack to that video game!"
" 'Knowck?' Mom are you feeling okay?"
"Bob!"
"Kids!…Listen to your mother!"
Yes, the Parr household was a'havin fun this night. Violet was having a panic attack every five minutes, Dash was being especially hostile, Bob (who had tried and blew the chances at two job interviews) was being particularly absentminded, Jack-Jack seemed as though he was going to stand up for the first time any second, and Helen was on the end of her leash. Wow, that was a long sentence.
Well, after dinner, things seemed to calm down. And then the doorbell rang. Go figure.
rewind and p.o.v. change---
"All right, let's go over this one more time just to make sure we've got everything straight."
"(groan, eyes rolled)"
"What's her name?"
"Violet."
"Violet who?"
"He doesn't need help, Mom."
"Violet who?"
"Parr."
"Who are her parents?"
"How should I know!"
"Tsk, tsk, you're losing points."
"You're keeping a score?"
"How old is she?"
"My age!"
"What movie are you going to?"
"Dad, for goodness sake-!"
"(ahem)"
"(eyes rolled) Invisible Fence." (A/N Wow, I come up with the lamest movie names)
"And you'll be home when?"
"Ten thirty-ish."
"All right, Tony go ahead. We'll see you at ten."
"Thirty," Tony corrected his father.
"Right. Ten thirty."
Tony left his grilling parents and walked out the front door of his house. Within twenty minutes, he'd walked to the front of his destination. He then spent the remainder of those twenty minutes just standing in front of the door debating whether or not he should ring the bell. Well, eventually he did, and a fellow who appeared to be about eighty answered the door.
"Hi I'm Tony it's a pleasure to meet you sir is Violet home?"
"For starters," the squeaky old-dude said, "It's Ma'am!" Okay, so it's a dudette.
"(gulp)"
"And if your looking for a Violet, I only know two. One was my cat…"
Oh please don't tell me that story.
"…and the other lives in the next house down."
"Oh! Uh, thanks."
She slammed the door in his face. And he marched to the next house and rang the doorbell the moment his finger was in reach. Well if you'd been standing on some old lady's lawn for five minutes trying to press a little button, you'd probably feel a little ridiculous, wouldn't you?
Tony heard a small (zip) sound, and someone opened the door.
A blonde haired, blue eyed boy of ten or eleven stood there in shorts and an undershirt, a Twinkie half-stuffed in his mouth and the controller to a Gamecube ripped out of the actual Gamecube. Tony was speechless and a little dumbfounded.
"What d'you want?"
"Uh…"
Dash cocked an impatient eyebrow at Tony.
"I'm Tony. Is Violet here?" Tony asked, looking desperately around the inside of the room guarded by the eleven year old.
"Vi?" Dash asked rhetorically. A wicked game just presented itself. "You mean, Violet?"
"Yeah."
Dash feigned a sniffle. "That's right…you were going to be her date."
"Uh…"
"(sniffle) Oh! It's so terrible! She didn't deserve to die! Oh it's so horrible!" Dash struck a dramatic, sorrowful pose in the doorway.
Tony leaned away from the flailing boy, looking at him like he was insane. Probably was.
"She fell so far! It was terrible to watch! And the news won't stop playing the accident! I will never forget her final words! Oh, Violet! You're life was like a song! If only you hadn't been so stupid, you might have seen the train! Or at least the James Bond evil-clone!" Dash stomped his foot, placed a hand on his chest, and started to sing. "It's the CIRCLE OF LIFE! AND IT RULES US ALL! THROUGH DESPAIR AND HOPE! THROUGH FAITH AND LOVE! 'TIL WE FIND OUR PLACE ON THE PATH UNWINDING! IT'S THE CIRRRRCLLLLE-yeah, the Circle of LIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!"
"(Ahem)"
"Erk," Dash gasped, his eyes becoming very large. Violet was leaning against the side wall inside the front room, glaring at her brother.
"Hi Dash."
Dash turned to Tony, cringing. "How long has she been there?"
"From 'It's so terrible.'"
"That bad, huh?"
"Oh, it gets worse, young man."
Dash squirmed more at his mother's voice. "And how long has she been there?"
"I'd say from the part about the James Bond clone."
Violet walked up next to Dash, stepped around him, and slammed the door in his face. She and Tony started walking to the movie theater.
"Come here, Dash," Helen beckoned. Dash slowly walked up to his mother. "All right, Dash. I'm leaving Jack-Jack with your father. Go get dressed and we'll see what your teacher wants."
"Do we have to?"
"Yes. Now move it," Helen said kindly, watching her son climb the stairs. She walked into the kitchen where Bob sat staring at the classified section desperately.
"Oh, hey honey."
Helen came over and kissed him on the cheek. "Dash and I are gonna go talk with his teacher. I'm going to leave Jack-Jack here with you. Need anything while we're out?"
"Only a miracle."
"I'll see if there're any left at the store."
Dash slowly closed his door and started walking towards the stairs as slowly as possible. Silly boy. Helen reached up over the banister/balcony thing, picked Dash up, and brought the boy down to the ground.
"Rats."
"Get in the car. We'll see you later, hon."
"Yeah, okay. Bye." When Bob heard the front door close, he flipped through the pages until he reached the right article, which read "McCormick challenges NSA agents." Bob, who was leaning back in his chair, turned to look at Jack-Jack, who blissfully played with some wooden blocks. "Things are lookin' bad for us supers, aren't they kid?"
Jack-Jack looked at his father quizzically. Then turned to gooey-goopidy-glop. (A/N God, this kid is fun to play with!)
"AAAH!" Bob (and his chair) fell backwards, where he rolled painfully onto his back. From his perspective of everything's-upside-down, he watched as his son gloopidied out of his chair into a royal mess on the floor.
"This is a new one! What do I do!" Bob exclaimed as he tried to roll over and stand up. "Yeow!" He hit his head on the counter. The force of this impact shook the house, and the refrigerator toppled over. Thus, the contents of the fridge splattered the floor. Bob glanced over his shoulder at the mess, but chose to try to crawl over to his son. He stood up and ran over to JAck-Jack. Unfortunately, he stepped on a bit of goop, or maybe some ice cream from the fridge…and went sliding across the linoleum floor.
"WhoaaAAAAAAAAAAAA-" (CRASH! BAM, Whamo, …tinker tinker tinker)
Jack-Jack started crying.
Bob, who'd been launched into a closet of some sort, came out with different cleaning supplies situated on him so he looked like some lame Martha Stewart impersonator. "Coming! Whoop!" He slipped again, and this time went sliding across the room on his rear. Wham! Right into the hutch full of Helen's favorite china. The doors opened, and one by one, plates began to fall out. Bob caught the first plate with his right hand, the next with his left, the next four with his feet (which he stacked on his belly), the one after that in his mouth, and two on his elbows. He sighed with relief. Consequently losing the balance of all the dishes. They all crashed to the ground that they were only about a foot above.
"Helen's gonna kill me. Coming, Jack-Jack!"
Helen pulled the car up in front of Dash's school. His teacher was at the front door waiting for them. Apparently, most teachers weren't still at the school at this time of night. Dash and Helen walked up to the redhead woman, who opened the door for them saying, "Thanks so much for coming Mrs. Parr. I really have so much to say to you about Dash here."
"You do, do you?" Helen asked as Mrs. Gutchewsky, Dash, and she walked down the hall into an office. She looked down at Dash suspiciously, who looked back at her, pleading with his eyes for her to believe him.
"Yes. He's quite a character," Gutchewsky said, as she sat down at the desk and motioned for Helen and Dash to do the same. They did. Dash squirmed anxiously.
"Is he now?"
"Yes. He's one of the best students I've ever had in fact."
"What?"
Ms. Gutchewsky chuckled. "Yes. I had the same reaction after I got wind of his record from last year."
Dash felt confused. Something was not right. Something was very wrong.
Ms. Gutchewsky leaned on the desk, occasionally glancing at Dash as she spoke. "He's full of energy!"
"Yes he is."
"He's always the first to finish an assignment. He's very bright. It only takes him a second to grasp a concept and he's got it down!"
"Really?" Helen looked down at her son, a sort of quizzical smile on her face. Dash, meanwhile, had a bad feeling about this whole situation. What teacher would have a parent come this late at night just to praise their kid?
"Oh yes. I wish I had a whole classroom of Dashes!"
Helen was smiling broader and broader. Her Dash?
"However, I didn't call you down here just to talk about my little wishes."
"So why did you call us down here?" Dash asked, a little too bluntly.
"Well…" Ms. Gutchewsky stood up and looked out the window. "I think Dash should be moved up a grade."
Dash swallowed his bubblegum.
Violet (who DID buy the popcorn! She let Tony buy the soda pop though. Notice I used the word 'let') and Tony were about twenty minutes into the movie, and things were starting to get good. The main character's house just exploded, and he was flipping out at his cell phone. Very funny.
"This is great!" Violet whispered to Tony between giggles.
"Yeah!" he whispered back, trying to keep in his laughter contained.
As the theater quieted again, Violet thought about how great this date was going. Then…she noticed this weird…background sound in the movie. Like a candy wrapper being crumpled…just a few hundred octaves lower. It was real quiet…but… Some of the other theater attendants seemed to notice the sound as well. But Tony didn't seem to notice. Then again…
Violet looked around, searching for the source of the sound which didn't seem to be coming from the movie anymore. It was getting louder. Tony looked at her.
"What's wrong?"
"Hear that?"
Tony listened for a second. The sound paused a second, then started up again, louder. "Yeah. What is that?"
Everyone in the theater could hear it now. Some people were standing. Others were looking for management. Violet and Tony stood as well.
Tony looked around the room questioningly, as though the room itself… "What the heck is going on?"
But Violet was thinking. That sound, which was near thundering now, seemed so familiar…like a blender or a drill…Drill… "Drill…Drill! Tony, run!"
Too late. A giant drill-contraption shot through the floor of the theater. Violet screamed, watching the people who'd been in the drill-bit's way being flung away. 'The Mole' and The Underminer.
"Hello friends!" the Underminer said into his megaphone, smiling maliciously. His eyes seemed to glow under his helmet. "Let's see if the Incredibles can stop me this time! Go, Robot Rats, go!"
Tony gasped as the rodents flew out of the end of the drill bit. The doors were being flooded by people trying to escape the swirling drill and the malevolent metal rats. Violet looked around desperately. WHAT DO I DO!
The window. The thing the projector plays the movie through. "Tony, c'mon!" Violet yelled over the screams and machinery. She grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs to the back of the theater. A rat the size of a car landed on the stairs in front of them, baring its teeth. Violet shoved Tony down an aisle. "This way!"
The pair jumped over the remaining rows to the back row. The rat turned around on the stairs and started up ever so slowly. Violet stood on the highest part of the seats and jumped at the window. Her hands just grabbed the edge of the sill, and she pulled herself up. The window had glass between her and the projector room. Go figure.
"Vi, hurry!" Tony yelled, his eyes fixed on the approaching metal rat.
She threw her weight into the glass. Ker-smash! She went flipping into the projector room and somersaulted on the floor. "That was easy." She went back to the window. "C'mon! Oh, shoot!" she yelled, realizing the rat had reached the last row and was lumbering towards Tony very quickly.
Tony jumped, and Vi helped pull him into the projector room. They both catapulted into the opposite wall. But apparently, apparently rats are pretty good jumpers. The rodent's frightening jaws stuck through the window and snapped at them.
"That way!" Tony shouted, pointing at the door. The projector operator had already split.
Tony reached the door first. He threw his weight into the door as he turned the doorknob. The door just shook on its frame. "It's locked!"
Suddenly, they heard a voice from the other side of the thick metal door. The Underminer. "Ready, or not, here I come!"
Tony flung himself away from the door, not wanting to wait and see what this whako was going to do to the door. "There's no way out!" he yelled. Violet too was beginning to panic. If her entire family hadn't been able to take this guy down, how could she? Especially with Tony watching?
"Window!" she cried, pointing to a circular window to the outside. She then ran over to the projector.
Tony stared at the window. "We're like three stories up!"
Violet walked up to the window and threw the projector through it.
"We're still three stories up!"
Violet scrambled back to the projector area as the banging on the door got louder.
"We can't jump!" Tony insisted, watching as Violet broke a leg off the wooden table that (had) held up the projector and used it to knock the extra glass out of the window frame.
"Oh yes, we can!" Violet yelled, seizing Tony's arm and pulling him through the window after her. Time seemed to slow down as the pair fell to the ground. "Roll up!" Violet commanded. Tony obeyed, and they both landed painfully on the pavement.
"How'd you know what to do?"
"Gymnastics, let's go!"
'The Mole' and The Underminer blasted through the front of the theater, along with twenty or so robot rodents.
"This way!" Tony suggested, and they both started to run. However, what they didn't see was the mechanical arms coming out of the 'Mole' tearing off different pieces of the theater building and throwing them in random directions. Violet and Tony looked over their shoulders as they ran, and gasped, watching in slow motion as one of these huge pieces of concrete and rubble came hurtling right at them.
Fft.
CRACK CRUMBLE CRASH!
Violet shrieked in pain as the rubble cracked over her forcefield. She didn't move after the 'rock' cracked over it, or even after the dust had cleared. She breathed heavily for a second before she lowered her hands, and therefore her forcefield. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder.
Tony, who lay on the pavement, stared. He'd seen the whole thing.
Only two words came to Violet's mind…
And neither one complies with the PG rating of this fan-fiction.
There's chappy 10! Hope you enjoy!
Review…?