Eva had been born into a loving French Canadian family. She had been doted on and provided for. Her butcher father read aloud to the four Dupont children every night. Her mother, a highly regarded seamstress, sang to them and kissed them until they giggled themselves to sleep. There were three daughters and one son. They were blue eyed and blond haired and the envy of the entire neighborhood.
She had it all until she met Marcus. Marcus was her thesis advisor. He was moody and difficult and Eva loved him beyond reason. Once he'd graded and turned Eva's final paper he showed up at her doorstep with pure white roses and a volume of William Blake. He was her fairly tale prince charming and she was his princess.
Soon after the picture perfect wedding, she found that most of their substantial salary went up his nose. He was barely solvent and barely coherent. It had been over looked for years because he was an academic and people expected some erratic behavior. His department chair had finally called Eva and told her that the drugs were affecting his work and she needed to get him into treatment. His reputation was shot but he still had a chance of saving his job. Two days after that phone call, Eva's doctor told her she would never have children. No way, no how. There was always adoption, a plausible reality if your husband wasn't addicted to drugs.
After the fourth round of treatment, she left Quebec looking for a new life expecting, that she would find a new husband and they would adopt two point five children. No matter how she tried, she was unable to land a man. So she set her sights on other women's men. There had been two married men, one a university comptroller; the other headed a think tank. She waited for them to leave their wives. It never happened. She changed coasts and perfected her technique. There were very few unmarried men her own age. Survival of the fittest, right?
Then she had seen Sara Sidle Grissom in the gourmet market across the street from the Biology building. She had heard the butcher say something to "Dr. Grissom" and had turned expecting to see her colleague. Instead she got an eye full of legs, dark hair and pale skin. Standing next to her was a blonde child with dazzling blue eyes. Hope and Sara. She had heard Gil speak of his wife and daughter with benign adoration but she was stunned to see that they actually lived up to his ?
"How's the new baby Sam?" came Sara's sensual voice.
The man who worked the counter shook his head as he began to slice a white cheese. "She's an angel, Dr. G. I tell you. Sent straight from heaven. But I am too old to have a baby in the house. How does Mr. G. do it?"
"Well he eats right and he gets plenty of sleep and exercise," she mouthed the next words. "He has lots of good sex."
"That's what got me in trouble in the first place."
As they passed Eva, Hope Grissom whined,. "I want to see Daddy, too."
"I thought you wanted to go see ice skating with Lindsey and Kramer."
"I want to do that, too."
"Well you can't do both. Besides, your Dad and I need some time alone."
Hope shrugged amiably. "Well, don't let Daddy eat all the good cheese for lunch. I want some for my snack later. And some turkey, too. And some of the chocolate cake."
"Deal." Sara smiled, guiding the girl outside to meet her date and hoping that she never had to convince her daughter to eat chocolate cake when she wanted.
Eva had followed them out of the deli on automatic pilot where they met an equally stunning blonde young woman and an exotic brown skinned child. She recognized the older woman as Gil's niece, a sophomore dance major who hung out in her uncle's office between classes. Sara left Hope with the younger woman and Eva watched as Sara entered her husband's office. Two hours later, she emerged looking freshly sexed and perfectly relaxed. She bore little resemblance to the cool scientist that entered hours before. The halls, long deserted on a Friday afternoon, echoed her giggles as she smacked at her husband's hands.
"We should go home."
"I can't make it home."
"You are insatiable."
Eva watched as clean living, morally upright Gil Grissom pulled Sara back into the office and locked the door.
Eva did not like Gil's wife. She was young and beautiful and had that precious blonde girl that should have been Eva's if life had turn out differently
Eva dialed Gil's cell number for only the second time in a month. He was avoiding her. She understood that. The scene with the wife had been unpleasant but not overly dramatic.
"Grissom."
"Hello."
Silence and a heavy sigh followed the salutation.
"Yes," he said stiffly.
"I just wanted to apologize."
"No need for that."
"Oh?"
"It was my fault. I am the one who's married, not you."
"Where are you living now?" Scuttlebutt around the department was that Gil had relocated to a hotel.
"Where am I living?" Gil saw Sara out of the corner of his eye. She mouthed that they were going to be late for Brass' birthday party.
He smiled. He kissed her hand and held her close to him. "I am late for a family function. My wife is giving me the evil eye. You know how that is."
The line went dead.
xxxxxxx
Brass was giddy. All the boys were giddy. Big boys and little boys. Dana had bought some super duper TV that projected either a gigantic picture in the backyard or a humongous picture in the living room. The boys had decided on the back yard. Sara helped Dana light candles to ward of bugs while the rest of the gang was trying out the picture in the living room.
Dana leaned back and looked up at the clear sky. Sara watched as she rubbed her back.
"Dana Brass, are you pregnant?"
The other woman's head whipped around. "Ssshhh"
"Sssh… spill it now or I will go in and announce it to everyone."
"I pay high priced doctors a truck load of money to get my boys, and now I have just stumbled up on a baby."
She turned to Sara and let out a breath. "Sara, I don't know if I can do this. I mean, I don't know."
Sara nodded her head and looped her arm through Dana's. She settled next to her on a short bench that rested under a tree.
"Don't think bad of me, okay?"
Sara frowned. "What…"
"I know you guys want another kid, but I can't do it. I just can't do it. I can't squeeze one more thing into the day. I can't love anyone else. I mean the boys are-well the boys are smart, mischievous little boys and Sara, I love them. I love them more than anything. But I can't chase one more little person."
It occurred to Sara then that no one knew she was pregnant. They weren't keeping it a secret, just hadn't gotten around to telling anyone.
"What does Brass say?" Sara asked softly.
"I can't tell him. I try. Every morning I get up and I say I am going to tell him but then the boys come tromping in and I just feel so ungrateful and I don't know how to tell him I don't want a another kid after he stabbed me in the ass for a year. The truth is, I am ungrateful. I'm rich. I have this great family and friends that are family. I have a good husband who's only vice is beer, pizza and the Lakers. Why can't I do this? Why am I paralyzed with fear? What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, I should be happy."
Kramer's voice could be heard loud and squeaky from inside the house. "Not Hernandez. He's still hurt."
"I am sorry that this is happening to you. I don't know what to tell you other than you know what you can do. You don't' have to prove anything to anyone. I mean, Catherine had an abortion. I had a scare when I was in college. You do what you can and ask God to forgive you for the rest."
Dana squeezed Sara's hand. "I am sorry, going on and on about my stuff. How are you? How's Gil?"
Sara squeezed her hand back. "It's getting better. Day by day. I think it's going to be okay."
"I hope you don't think I am taking sides," Dana said.
"There's only one side. My family's. The entire family. I was sort of upset with the men for being mean to him at first. But I decided it was good. I mean, he didn't just hurt me and Hope, he hurt the entire family. He has more to answer to than Hope and I. You know it was hard for me when I first moved here. All the lives were entangled. If I told Nick something it was as good as telling Warrick.
Dana looked to the house and then back at Sara. "In my mother's village, if you had wronged your spouse, you were in isolation for month. No on talked to you. You were invisible. Then the tribal elders invited you back and they asked you to explain why what you did was wrong. If they didn't like your answer, back into isolation. I guess this is Gil's isolation and when the men feel like he's back to himself…that's what my mother always said. When you did something out of character. She said you were away from yourself. When Gil is back to himself, the men will let him back in the village."
Sara nodded as sounds of cheering carried through the night air. "You know Dana. You have a family and…"
"I know. As soon as I started talking about Gil. If I have this baby I am going to need help. I don't' want to be one of those women whose children are raised by nannies."
Sara leaned over and whispered softly to Dana.
Dark eyes met dark eyes. Sara's were pleading, Dana's worried. "I will tell Jim tonight. Tonight. I promise."