A/N Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. Most of it's been written for quite some time now, it's just that the last part of the chappy was the hardest for me to write. I know it seems immature, but it really is something I had to get over. Any way, here's more angst for ya! Oh, and sorry it's shorter than norm, but I actually don't know how short norm is, but he must be short. :sweat drop: My attempt of humor in the midst of angst, sorry you had to read that.

Chapter 7:..Mistrust and Affections..:

"What were you doing?" Inuyasha asked with fire in his eyes.

"I just wanted to know if Kouga was okay after yesterday." Kagome answered back. She cast her eyes downward, feeling Inuyasha's anger rolling off of him in hot waves.

"Why? Is he that important to you?"

"What?" Kagome asked dumbfounded.

"You heard me. Do you love him?" Inuyasha asked angrily.

"NO! He's a friend! Just as ever now as back when we first met." Kagome snapped, her own anger rising.

"Really? Then why do you sneak around? What if something grabbed you, I would be totally oblivious to any danger you might be in. You told me you were heading back towards the village. You lied." Inuyasha snarled. He looked hurt. Kagome couldn't tell if he was hurt because she was sneaking off to see Kouga or because she deceived him or both. Both, she knew that he was mad and hurt because of both her actions.

"I'm sorry." Kagome said softly. Her breath caught in her throat when Inuyasha suddenly grabbed her chin and harshly jerked her face up to look at him.

"I know I've changed but you need to make some changes too. I haven't asked you to sacrifice anything since this has happened, but now I make a request. Forget about Kouga, just remember what a good friend he was, but I can't trust myself when he's around. For both our sakes, just distance yourself with him." Inuyasha said with a dead pained voice.

"What?" Kagome's eyes widened in angered shock. "You can't ask that! That's not fair!" She wailed.

Something snapped in Inuyasha's head as his eyes glazed over with red. He bared his teeth and snarled as he let go of her face and brought his hand back and swung it heavily in front of him, never even pausing when his palm made bruising contact with Kagome's face.

Kagome sprawled out across the ground at the force of Inuyasha striking her. She was stunned, unmoving at the foreign stinging on her cheek. The forest was a deathly quiet as the two took a moment to reflect on the event that brought them to this moment.

Inuyasha stared at his hand as if it was about to come alive and needed amputation. It shook wildly as he snarled angrily at himself. 'You beast. You just struck a woman and a human at that. I bet she's impressed, lets see how fast she throws herself at your feet now. Is being demon worth going this far?' Inuyasha's mind asked. A piece of his sanity had awoken and was now berating him for his shameful actions. "Kagome..." Inuyasha started.

Kagome touched her hand to her cheek and recoiled at the pain. She looked at her hand and cringed when she realized what had just happened. 'Inuyasha hit me! Did I deserve that?' Kagome's fogged mind asked. She blinked and was brought back to reality when his voice spoke her name.

"Kagome, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Dammit! I'm such an idiot." Inuyasha growled. "You just make me mad when you don't trust me. Because that makes me feel that I can't trust me. You should just go away and leave me." Inuyasha said as he turned away from Kagome.

"I don't even know you any more. I'm almost afraid of you. Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice almost turned bitter when she said his name. Inuyasha turned to look at her and shrank back at the look of disappointment and anger on her face. "Sit. Sit! SIT SIT SIT!" Kagome cried. Her voice stained with anger and hurt. Inuyasha went limp as the spell pummeled him into the ground and he just closed his eyes and accepted each slam he felt as each incantation was said, knowing he deserved that feeling of being repeatedly stomped on before he blacked out.

When Inuyasha awoke, it was darker out and the stars were starting to litter the sky. He rolled over and groaned at the feeling of his over abused body being reminded of his day. He gazed at those stars and wondered if they would smile on him any time soon. At that moment they seemed to laugh mockingly at him. He visibly snarled at them, wishing things could have turned out different. He closed his eyes and imagined a different outcome from the jewel. He thought maybe he could have become human and then Kagome would want to stay with him and who knows maybe one day start a family with him, but would she still accept him even if he wasn't fully human, worse yet now that he was fully demon.

'I should go find her.' Inuyasha thought as he sat up.

'Maybe now she won't go to Kouga.' That voice was back. Softer but still hissed.

'Maybe now she'll leave and never return.' Inuyasha retorted.

'Highly unlikely. She's too afraid of you now to leave.'

'That's not what I want!' Inuyasha yelled back.

'Then why did you become demon? Didn't you want to be stronger so that you could keep her with you? Stupid human feelings, you are obviously confused.'

'No, that's not it! I just wanted to keep her alive. If she feels I'm a threat to her, then I'd rather die myself than have her live in fear of me.' Inuyasha sighed as he thought about how much he had hurt Kagome and she never deserved any of his anger.

'Go to her.' The calm voice ripped Inuyasha from his mental anger and helped him settle.

'What do I say?' Inuyasha asked.

'What ever is on your mind.' The heavenly voice answered back.

'I've lost my mind. I don't know who I am any more. How do I expect her to understand.' Inuyasha doubted Kagome would ever be the same towards him again. Inuyasha sighed with his eyes closed and listened to the sounds carried on the wind. The night breeze was a cool, welcoming change compared to the day's blistering heat. Summers were never kind in these parts. The acrid smell of tears tickled Inuyasha's nose and he could faintly hear crying. His ears lowered as he realized Kagome was in despair. He swallowed hard and got to his feet and started towards the source of the crying.

He was surprised when Kagome's scent brought him to the house he was currently building. She had taken shelter in her section of the home that he had finished that day. He peered in the hut and saw her curled up in a sleeping bag in the far corner of the hut. She was crying softly and probably hadn't realized that he was there. Inuyasha approached her slowly and saw that her back was turned towards him and she was hugging a stuffed bear to her chest as she cried softly.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha spoke her name with a lump in his throat.

"Inuyasha, do you hate me for what you've become?" Kagome asked, her voice broken from crying.

"No, never. I hate myself. I'm sorry I struck you." Inuyasha said.

"Why do you hate Kouga so much. All he's ever wanted was my friendship. I know that he claims that I'm his woman, but he doesn't mean it. He just doesn't know how to show affection any other way." Kagome sighed loudly.

"I don't understand. All I know is he loves competing with me for your attention. He thinks he's so charming and can win you over with a nice smile and a kind word." Inuyasha ground out.

"But that's how it works. If a man wants a woman's attention, then he says nice things and acts charming. He even does nice things, like gives flowers and stuff like that." Kagome sniffled and rolled over to look at Inuyasha. "And he learns to control his temper." That last part stung. Inuyasha winced as if she had been the one to hit him. Her face looked sore, a couple of bruised scratches graced her cheek, under her left eye, evidence of where his claws made contact with her delicate skin.

"If that's what it takes to get you to like me again, I'll do it." Inuyasha smiled. For the first time, Kagome saw the old Inuyasha emerge, his demon appearance didn't seem matter to her as she just smiled up at him.

Kagome rolled back over with a sigh and stroked her teddy bear. "I'm a little tired though. This past week has been tough. One big roller coaster ride if you ask me." Kagome's voice was soft and scratchy as the weariness shown through her voice.

Inuyasha sighed heavily. His heart ached and his head hurt. That damn voice was relentless in it's constant efforts to torture Inuyasha's sanity into oblivion. Just as Inuyasha resolved to take up residency on the other side of the hut, something caught his attention.

That bear.

What was it about the bear Kagome was hugging to herself. It had a faint, but familiar smell to it and it took Inuyasha a moment to put his finger on it, but it came to him just as the memories came flooding back.

"Shippo." Inuyasha said out loud.

"Huh?" Kagome asked as she gave Inuyasha a sidelong glance.

"That was the bear you gave Shippo so long ago. It still smells like him." Inuyasha stated.

"Yup. I know." Kagome sniffled as new tears filled her eyes and silently fell down her cheeks as she cuddled the bear closer to her.

Inuyasha's heart twisted in his chest as he watched Kagome grieve for the fallen kitsune. It was like watching a mother grieve for a dead son and no words could describe the agony that stretched across her features. It just wasn't right. It wasn't right for Kagome to be in so much pain and that thought made Inuyasha's sanity slip even more. It was driving him crazy not being able to really comfort her pain for he, himself was still hurting too.

"I miss him too, you know. It does seem weird not having him around anymore." Inuyasha said as he kneeled back down beside Kagome.

"Yea. Shippo was a great little guy. He looked up to you so much. But he's with his real mom and dad now." Kagome choked out. Her voice was hoarse from crying and the emotional roller coaster she was taking.

Inuyasha stroked Kagome's hair as she quietly thought to herself. 'Probably remembering Shippo', Inuyasha thought to himself.

'She thinks it's you're fault you know.' That damn voice.

'And she knows it's not. She knows if I could have saved him, I would have!' Inuyasha mentally growled back. His body had become rigid from anger while he stroked Kagome's hair.

'I know of a way to help her ease her sorrow.' The voice teased back.

'Sure you do.' Inuyasha retorted.

'I do. Go ahead, ask me how.' The voice hissed.

"Okay, fine." Inuyasha said softly out loud.

"Huh?" Kagome asked in confusion to Inuyasha's sudden outburst.

"Huh, oh, nothing." Was all he replied.

'He he he. She thinks you're loosing it.' The voice laughed.

'Yea, maybe because I am.' Inuyasha replied. 'Any way, tell me what you were going to say and get out of my head!'

'Take her as your own. She'll need to fill that void that the boy left behind and what better way of doing it than having a baby of her own. That way you don't have to watch her grieve so hard and it'll guarantee that she won't leave you.' The voice explained, malice lacing every word.

'Feh! So much for what you know! She would never go for that.' Inuyasha snorted.

'Find out for yourself. Look at her, she's in the perfect emotional state, so take advantage of it and make her yours forever!' The venom dripped in Inuyasha's ears as he started to lose all sensibility. In Inuyasha's state of mind, the reasoning did make sense and seeing how Inuyasha was lost to all logical thinking, he didn't see the wrong in what the voice was stating.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice was uncharacteristically soft and soothing compared to his previous state.

"Yes?" Kagome answered.

"You miss Shippo a lot, don't you?" Inuyasha asked.

"I do, why?" Kagome's voice was nervous, not understanding where Inuyasha was going with this topic.

"I can help you. I can give you something new to love and care for." Inuyasha practically whispered. His voice was strange and different to Kagome and she realized he wasn't thinking clearly as his hand slipped from stroking her hair to rubbing her belly. She definitely did not like where this was going.

"Inuyasha, I need to grieve in my own way. Having a baby isn't going to fix everything and wouldn't make me forget anyway. Thank you for the thought, but I'll get better in time." Kagome said as she looked into Inuyasha's eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in his head at that moment. Her heart was pounding in her chest when she saw the look that marred Inuyasha's features.

"Hmm, so you don't want to be with me?" Inuyasha asked. His voice sounding like a predator setting a trap for it's prey.

"No, that's not it, of course I want to be with you, but Inuyasha..." Kagome's words where cut off by a growl escaping Inuyasha's chest.

'She took the bait, now silence her!' The voice screamed and before Inuyasha's sanity could protest, he quickly dipped his head down and smothered Kagome in a soul-crushing kiss.

He wasn't at all gentle either. He held her from behind, his hand never leaving her stomach as he roughly kissed her. Tears sprung up in Kagome's eyes when it occurred to her just how vulnerable she was in this new predicament. She couldn't believe that Inuyasha had turned so 'wild'.

No matter how hard she struggled against him, she couldn't get away. In fact, her resistance only made him more excited and aroused. His grip on her tightened up with every struggle she made against him and when he made it absolutely clear that escape was futile, she screwed her eyes shut as tears forced their way out and she pushed her thoughts back into the darkest recesses of her mind and she forced herself to remember happier times.

This wasn't Inuyasha, her mind wouldn't allow her to associate this wild man with the Inuyasha she had originally fallen in love with. Her cries sounded through the night, as she prayed that dawn would soon rise and find her out of this hell.

And the rising of the sun shown light onto Inuyasha's misdeeds from the night before.

..:End of Chappy:..

A/N: Ok, I have to admit, I'm blushing a bit with this one. I've actually never written anything close to being as intimate as this, but it does set up for the rest of the story. Believe it or not, but this story was mainly put on hiatus because I've had a lot of trouble bringing myself this far. This is also why I upped the rating, it's only going to get worse from here on out, so make sure you have a box of tissues handy for I'm not easing up as I'm going to squeeze every last ounce of angst from this fic as possible. Hehehe. I feel so evil! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Also I've gotta beg of you, PLEASE REVIEW! Please?

Love,

SunnyDecember 29, 2005