Disclaimer: Not mine. All J. K. Rowling's, except for the stupid plotline.

Warnings: Nothing so far. Maybe a little bad language. Some spoilers of OotP. AU since I ignored HBP.

Authors Note: This sort of story has probably been written a billion times but I don't care. This will eventually turn into a Harry/Draco story. So on with it!

Harry Potter was happy. It was almost Christmas time and he had just had chocolate and vanilla pudding with cherries. He could still taste it in his mouth and he licked his lips and patted his bulging stomach as he walked down the halls, on his way to the Gryffindor common room.

Ron and Hermione had left him to enjoy his dessert, saying they didn't want any. Hermione said, she was going to help Ron with the new transfiguration essay they had to write but for once, Harry was already finished with it and so he could be left to one of his big passions in life, stuffing his face with pudding.

Now, after several helpings of sweet, quivering dessert, he was quite content as he strode down the halls. His pants seemed much less roomy than they usually did and he patted his stomach again. It hurt in a comfortable sort of way and he had a little trouble walking but he was happy and content none the less.

The pervious week had been absolutely fantastic. His grades had improved in almost every subject, except potions and he had just won a quidditch match against Huffelpuff. It was snowing nicely outside and he loved the snow. Ron had invited him over to his house for Christmas and he had accepted, happily. He looked forward to the prospect of spending Christmas with Ron's family, now that Sirius was no longer with them. The thought of Sirius made him a little sad but he had come to terms with his death some time ago. This was the first time, he felt truly happy since his godfather's death and it felt nice.

As he rounded a corner, he noticed that someone had dropped a textbook and he bent down to pick it up. Just as he touched the cover of the book, someone came crashing right into him, sending him to the floor.

"Ouch!" he yelled as he fell onto his side, his hipbone colliding with the hard floor. His stomach felt a little uneasy as well as it bounced a little from the fall. He sat up and rubbed his sore hipbone, then patted his full stomach.

"Watch where you're going Pot-Head!" he heard the heated snarl of his favourite rival.

He looked up in the stormy, grey eyes of Draco Malfoy and growled. The stupid git just had to ruin his great mood. It was probably his purpose in life. Well now he would have it.

"It's not my fault you can't see with those stupid rodent eyes of yours, you ferret!" he spat as he stood to face his rival.

"You were in my way!"

"So? Couldn't you have gone around me then?"

"Malfoys don't go around people!"

"Ha! Is that really the best answer you could come up with?" Harry mocked, smiling scornfully at Malfoy.

"No. It was the best answer suited for your intellect…or lack thereof." the blond said in a surprisingly even and calm voice. It starkly contrasted against his heated tone from just a moment ago. It left Harry speechless for a moment.

"Where are your little protective lions? Maybe you should have done better with them around, seeing as how your glasses must have been a gift from Weasley." Draco said, smirking contently at his insult.

"They are not my "lions"! They are my friends! It's more than you can say about your band of monkeys, you spawn of the devil, you!" Harry hissed, now genuinely angered with how his rival was behaving. If he hadn't known any better, he would have guessed, Malfoy was out to get into a serious fight with him.

"Why, you flatter me Potter. That's exactly the image I'm going for. And you can say anything you want to say about my friends. I won't be insulted because unlike you and your mushy friends, I keep my distance from people."

Harry was stunned. That must have been the first sincere thing he had ever heard from Draco Malfoy. As the full impact of Malfoy's statement hit him, he realized he felt slightly sorry for his rival. He could very well imagine what it was like, not to have any friends. He had lived like that too, before Hogwarts. It was a lonely life. Silently, he thanked Merlin for Ron and Hermione.

"What's the matter, Potter? Do your brain cells have a hard time, translating my words? Well forget about that then. Go find your filthy little friends. You wouldn't want people to start suspecting their hero has the intellect of a dead duck." Malfoy drawled, instantly making Harry forget any thoughts about pity. How could he ever have felt anything remotely like understanding for this smarmy git, was beyond him. Malfoy was a horrible person and he had just about had enough of his insults.

"You know, Malfoy, I'm sure I've told you this before, but you are terribly pathetic, trying to get a rise out of me. Are you sure, you're not one of my admirers? You certainly seem to be eager enough to always say something to me whenever we meet. Maybe you just haven't been taught that when you want someone to like you, you have to be pleasant to them." Harry said, matching Malfoy's calm, mocking voice.

Malfoy seemed to be in some sort of shock. His mouth was open, his jaw lax and his grey eyes were wide as the full impact of Harry's words hit him. Harry was satisfied and was just about to walk past Malfoy and walk toward his common room to muse further over his victory over Malfoy. This was by far one of the best insults he had come up with in a while. The look of utter bafflement on Malfoy's face made his victory all the more sweet.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his arm and he was forced to turn back and face Malfoy. Harry flinched at the look of rage in Malfoy's eyes. His lips were now pressed together and his face didn't betray anything of his anger but his eyes said all the more. There was also a bluish vessel above his temple that Harry didn't remember having seen there before. It looked like it was about to pop and Harry moved subconsciously in the other direction. Wouldn't want to get stained with Malfoy's blood, should that vessel pop.

"Let me go Malfoy." he said calmly, clearly sending the message that their little insult flinging was over for the day and that he was not interested in further spending time with the Slytherin.

"Take that back, Potter." Malfoy hissed, his fingers digging painfully into Harry's arm.

Harry tried to get away, squirming with his arm clutched tightly in Malfoy's hand. He tried to pry away the hurtful fingers, wincing slightly as they closed over his arm even harder.

"Malfoy, let me go. Now!" he said, yanking his rival's wrist with his free hand. Malfoy was really hurting him now. He was sure, he would have a bruise where Malfoy was holding him right now and this was rapidly making him angry. Malfoy, if he noticed, didn't show it, instead, he moved closer to Harry, his eyes glimmering dangerously with suppressed anger.

"I said, take it back Potter!" he hissed, his breath hitting Harry in the face. It was clear to him that Malfoy had not had any dessert.

"Let me go, Malfoy! And a breath mint wouldn't hurt you either, you reek of garlic, you cow."

Suddenly, Malfoy let go of him and pushed him back, reaching into his pocket quickly, taking out his wand. Harry mimicked him quickly, taking out his own wand.

"C-cow! Oh, that's it, Potter! That's the last drop!"

"CEDO BOVATIM!" screamed both boys at the top of their lungs.

Two spirals of sparkling light shot out of both of their wands and met in the middle. A big sphere of light was building up where the two spells collided. Both boys stood, rooted to the ground. The sphere was now so big that they would both be able to fit inside of it. Then it stopped growing. For a moment all was still and the two boys stared at the large sphere of light, their hands frozen in midair. Then, without warning, the sphere exploded, throwing them both back in opposite directions. The explosion itself was without a sound. It was a burst of energy that tore the walls and the sculptures that decorated it.

Harry's back hurt and all air had been pressed from his lungs upon the impact with the hard floor. Slowly he rose to sit and took in a deep, raspy breath. He let his eyes wander over the disaster he and Malfoy had turned the hallway into. He couldn't see much. There were broken sculptures and a big cloud of dust and prevented him from seeing Malfoy.

Harry rose to his feet slowly, rubbing his sore body and dusting off his clothes. He coughed a little from the dust that had entered his nose. He saw something moving in the middle of the dust cloud. At first, he assumed it was Malfoy, moving on the other side of it but as the shadow moved, he realized it was much bigger and of a different shape than Malfoy or any other human for that matter. Then there was an infernal noise from the general direction of the shadow.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry jumped at the sudden noise, his heartbeats increasing considerably. His first instinct was to run from the scene and leave Malfoy with whatever sort of thing may have conjured. The stupid git was probably out cold anyway. There was no way he would be able prove that Harry had been a part of this disaster.

He was just about to make his quiet exit as he heard a shuffling noise and a girlish squeal, followed by slurping sounds. Harry stopped in his tracks, looking back at the scene of crime again.

"Mooo!" the noise was much softer now and Harry shuddered and the urge to run was stronger than ever.

"POTTER!"

Bollocks! That was most definitely Malfoy's squealing voice. He couldn't leave now! Damn his Gryffindor nobleness! Malfoy was being eaten alive by whatever they had conjured and he couldn't leave him. Stupid Malfoy, who had made his life hell through all these years!

He turned around and started walking dejectedly toward the sounds of Malfoy's squealing. As the dust slowly disappeared, he could see more of the damage. Dumbledore would have both their heads for this, he was sure. He gulped at the thought and walked on toward Malfoy and the beast. When he was a few feet away from them, he saw and understood what had happened.

There, right above a struggling, dishevelled Malfoy, who was lying on his back, was a cow. A big, white cow with several black spots all over her massive body. It was stomping around carefully, not wanting to crush her prey. The most peculiar thing about the whole situation was that the cow was licking Malfoy all over his pale face. Malfoy seemed unable to get away from it. Whenever he tried to stand up and crawl away, it would pull on his robes with its teeth and pull him back under its stomach.

"Potter! Help me!" Malfoy squealed again, trying to get away from the pink tongue. He seemed terrified and utterly revolted. Harry stared in silence for a few moments as Malfoy tried to push the cow's head away from his face but without much success.

Harry's laughter rang out in the otherwise empty hallway. This was too funny for words. Draco Malfoy, the most irritating git in their school was being licked affectionately by a cow they had somehow managed to conjure. His face was glistening with the saliva of the cow and Harry doubled over, tears escaping his eyes from the laughter.

"Potteeer! I'll kill you, Potter, you mark my wordmphh…!"

Through his tears, Harry saw how the cow licked Malfoy's face, her tongue slipping into the blond git's open mouth. Harry laughed harder. He was about to fall to the floor, his knees were weak enough but he tried to control himself.

He rounded the cow and went to stand in front of it instead. Still laughing and with Malfoy screaming at him, he pushed the cow away from the boy. It didn't seem amused by his actions but it moved enough for Harry to reach down and pull Malfoy out from where he was trapped beneath it. He helped the boy stand up and observed his wet face then broke out into another fit of laughter.

"Oh…oh, Merlin! M-Malfoy! Ahaahahaha!" he held onto his rival for support as he kept laughing into his face. Oh, this was worth any punishment they might have had coming.

"Are you quite done yet, Potter!" Malfoy screamed as he pushed Harry off of him. Harry landed on his arse in the middle of the hallway. He felt the impact but he didn't care. He was still laughing and his tears were now rolling down his cheeks.

"Stop it, Potter! It isn't funny! Stop it this instant or so help me, I'll hex you into..." Malfoy didn't get to finish. The cow had come up behind him and it was now licking him from the back of his neck and up.

"Mooooo!"

"Aaaagh! Get away from me, you beast!"

Malfoy's hair was now standing right up at the back of his head and he looked absolutely terrified. He rounded Harry, who was now standing up, holding his stomach in laughter, and hid behind him.

"Oh, come on, Malfoy. It loves you!" Harry said between fits of laughter trying to remove Malfoy's fingers from his shoulder.

"Loves me! It wants to eat me!" Malfoy shrieked as the cow came up to stand right in front of Harry, trying to lick Malfoy's face again. Harry didn't much fancy having a cow looming over him or having Malfoy hiding behind him. He pushed the cow's head away and pried Malfoy's fingers off of his robes, slipping away from the two lovebirds.

However, Malfoy seemed to have other ideas. He followed him immediately one step behind him, trying to hide from the cow. Harry didn't find this one bit amusing. As far as he was concerned this whole mess was Malfoy's fault to begin with, he was to deal with the lovesick cow on his own. Harry wanted no part of it.

"Stop following me, Malfoy. This is your mess. It is your cow to take care of." he said, pushing the blond away from his body.

"My mess! This is all your fault, Potter! Now get that…thing away from me!"

This exclamation made Harry's blood boil.

"I will do no such thing! You were the one who started this fight!"

"Yes, because you didn't watch where you were going, you idiot!"

"You tripped over me!"

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did!"

"I did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"MALFOY AND POTTER!"

Both boys fell silent as they heard the all too familiar voice of Professor Severus Snape. Harry paled considerably and he saw a triumphant smirk cross Malfoy's face. The smarmy git!

"May I inquire as to why this hallway looks like a war zone? And why is there a cow standing in the middle of this disaster!"

Harry turned around and saw the enraged face of Severus Snape. Harry doubted he had ever seen the professor quite this angry. It didn't help that the greasy bastard was looking accusatorily at only him and not at Malfoy.

"Off to the head Master's office!" he spat, shoving Harry in the general direction of said place. Malfoy didn't move from his spot. He crossed his arms and smirked evilly at Harry.

"Both of you!" Snape said, dragging Malfoy by the wrist and pushed him to join Harry.

Malfoy looked absolutely scandalized. Harry smirked. Snape walked right behind the two boys with the cow close in tow.

To Be Continued

Authors Note: So that was the first chapter of my new story. I hope you enjoyed it. I plan for it to be a few chapters long. We'll se how long it will actually turn out to be. Those of you who've read White Wolf might know that it was meant to be about five chapters long and look at it now! Thank you for reading and please do review! After you're done with that, feel free to read my other stories as well. And not just the HP ones. Feel free to visit my page on FictionPress and read my original stories as well. Link is on my author's page.