Chapter 36 - Last Goodbye

It really was so tacky to hook up on an island, Shannon thought as she walked past a group of people who sat in a circle, whispering. They were all suddenly quiet when she approached them, you know, that kind of silence where someone has just been talking about you. But Shannon realized, looking down at her flippy cotton skirt in kiwi green and her tank top with all these random loops and pieces of metal on it, that tacky was just what Shannon Rutherford was. But it was nice to feel wanted by someone. Even if all that someone wanted was to get into her pants. But she may as well lower her standards for guys, because no wonder Boone didn't love her anymore. It was a wonder that he had ever loved her – she was just so uninteresting.

But there were lots of reasons why she still loved him. Besides his looks, of course, there was also the fact that he would do anything for her (okay, maybe not now, but he would come around), he was rich, funny, sweet… but every adjective she used wasn't good enough. It was too cheap and clichéd, and simply didn't extend the twisted attraction she felt towards him. But it didn't mater, she was with Sayid now (God, she didn't want to be), and Boone knew that. Her thoughts dripped in contempt as Locke's words swam through her head again… everyone gets a new life on this island… oh, says who? It seemed to her that everyone's life was just the same as it fucking had been before the island – nothing could be erased. And hooking up with some old, hairy guy twice her age wasn't exactly part of the new life she wanted.

Would Boone come around? She wondered this whenever she put on a happy face to go be all cutesy with Sayid. When he touched her, she tried to ignore the long fingernails, closing her eyes, thinking Boone, Boone, Boone… it didn't seem to work very well. It was interesting, though, because she felt dirty and gross after Sayid like, touched her, and she didn't feel dirty at all after fucking her sort-of brother in the middle of the jungle all night. With the latter option, she felt like she wanted more. Shannon smiled in spite of herself, sitting down near the water, vying rather to sit and think alone (Sayid had gone into the jungle to talk to the crazy French woman, and Shannon had pretended to care) than to attempt to make conversation with anyone.

Just then, someone sat down next to her. Possibly Sun of Claire, maybe Sawyer… Shannon didn't particularly care. She looked to her left, and noticed that the person sitting to her left was Boone! He didn't say anything, but she didn't try to disguise her excitement. Careful not to make an idiot of herself again, cringing as she remembered the incident of a couple nights ago, she breathed, and calmly said, "Hey."

"Hi," he looked at the ocean, holding his knees up to his chest. Shannon looked down and realized that she was doing the same.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "For you know, a few – "

"Yeah – " He tried to cut her off.

"I was drunk, and –"

"Ok – "

"Yeah." They were silent. Oh, screw this! "You know, Boone, I really do wish we could be together."

"Then why'd you hook up the Arab guy?" He responded dubiously.

"I don't know," she smiled self-deprecatingly. "I don't know."

"You just going to use him like you use everyone else?"

"Can't we just have a conversation?"

"I guess." He glowered, and she noticed him looking at her legs, like he used to all the time. This was like step one, she figured.

"Do you remember that time when I ditched my winter formal for you in – "

"Shannon." He grabbed her hand, but then quickly let go. "Don't do this, okay?"

Shannon nodded. "Okay."

"Why does this have to be so weird?" He groaned. "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault, Boone. Takes two to tango," she noted. "I really fucked it up, though."

Neither of them said very much after that. They sat on the beach, she didn't know for how long, just sort of staring off into the distance. It reminded her of one of those annoyingly tranquil, uneventful days before thunderstorms – it was like they could both sense that something apocalyptic was about to happen.

"Hey Boone?" She said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm in love with you. Like, I have been since I was like, seventeen."

"What's with all this confessional stuff?" He asked, confused.

"I don't know." She responded. "I just feel like we should probably get it all out. You go next."

"No, I don't wanna play." He answered stubbornly. "I think you know most of it, anyway. But Shannon, I have a question for you. Why do you do this? All this on and off shit? I mean, I just don't know what to believe. I never know whether to believe you or not. Especially now that you're with Sayid for no reason."

"You wouldn't speak to me," she blubbered. "I gave up on you, Boone."

"I should have given up on you years ago – "

"You tried, with Anna and stuff, didn't you? Maybe I'm doing the same thing! Maybe it's not working!" Tears of frustration ran down her face, accompanied by irritated cries.

"Shannon," he said softly. "Shan… don't cry, okay?" He touched her back for a moment, and she prayed that he would keep it there. She scooted closer to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you," she whispered again.

"I know."

"It's really nice to talk to you again, Boone." She smiled as he wiped a tear off of her face.

"Yeah, it is." She looked at the sky, which was beginning to morph into deep pinks and blues and yellows. "You wanna watch the sunset with me?"

"Yeah…" he started.

"But you can't, right? This sucks, doesn't it?" She laughed. "But I guess Sayid will be back soon. Where's Locke?"

"Locke is… I don't know, actually. But he said to meet him after dinner, so…" He backed away from her.

"I'll see you, Boone." She smiled.

"I Love you." He kissed her forehead. "I like saying that."

"I like hearing that," she laughed. "Bye." Shannon stood up to walk somewhere (she was too lovesick at the moment to think about where), and held her head up high when she walked past the gossiping group again.

But the thing was, she realized later, their conversation didn't really change anything. They still couldn't do anything, but she supposed it was nice to know that they were getting along. So when Sayid came back, she played nice and let him kiss her, but as Boone walked by, she looked at him, rolling her eyes and smiling suggestively at him. There was something oddly liberating about being so blatantly rebellious, giving Boone bedroom eyes while she was Sayid. It was sort of like when Sabrina would be washing dishes or cooking, looking outside the window, and Shannon and Boone would start making out right behind her. When Sabrina turned around, they would just be standing there, looking completely innocent.

And the conversation that they had had would certainly apply later in life, after they got rescued from this bloody island. Maybe some of her fantasies would come true, eventually. This new thing they had, though, she didn't want to fuck it up. So she didn't try to find him that night, instead she lay by herself, trying to differentiate her fantasies with things that had actually happened. It was sometimes difficult, because as she reminisced, she realized that some of the times they had had together were pretty damn near perfect. Like the time when she had mentioned to him, when midway through the winter formal at school, she suddenly had this gigantic urge to go do him. So she left, which proved to be one of the best decisions she had ever made, resulting in the sexiest weekend ever experienced by mankind. Or at least, experienced by Shannon.

When she arrived at his apartment, she was wearing a low-cut dark blue dress and three inch spike heels. After she used the key he had given her, she sauntered into the front room, which was attached to a kitchenette, where he was eating a bowl of cereal in a navy colored bathrobe and boxers. He was facing the opposite direction as her, and as she entered, she slapped him on the ass to alert him of her presence, and sat on the counter behind him. He turned around and looked at her. She remembered that he had practically drooled at the sight of her, before placing his hands around her waist and kissing her fully, pressing his tongue into hers as she wrapped her hands around his neck. And that was before they even said hello.

"What's with the dress?" He mumbled in between kisses.

"I was at this stupid school dance thing," she moved her hands to the seam of his boxers. "You like?"

"I like it better when it's not on you."

"You suck at talking dirty," she told him, but then she deepened the kiss, proving him to believe otherwise.

Without breaking the kiss, he fumbled his hand around her back, trying to locate the zipper to her dress. When he did, he eased it about halfway down, but Shannon pulled back for a moment, moving her dress up. Then she leaned back into the kiss, tickling the inside of his lips with her tongue, pinching the band on his boxers, scratching at them rather futilely. This time he pulled back, taking off the boxers in one fluid movement, as she did the same to her underwear. He fucked her then, and after he put his boxers back on, with her dress still half-on (or half-off, he reminded her, depending on how you look at life), he picked her up, his hands under her thighs to support her, and carried her to his bed.

She rolled over, clawing at his stomach. "Again," she demanded, finally beginning to take off her heels. Boone looked at her in horror. "What?"

"Did you put your shoes on my bedspread?"

"Oops," she muttered, hoping he would let it go. "I'm sorry." She bit her lip.

"It's fine, just don't let it – " but he couldn't finish his sentence, because she had just crawled on top of him, straddling him and capturing his lips in hers again. But they were in a rather precarious position, she was sitting on his leg, and before they knew it, they had both toppled over, so that she was on her back and he was on top of her. In a flurry, she finally removed the dress completely, exposing a skimpy, strapless black bra and underwear, and he took of the bathrobe, which was actually completely pointless, she realized. "Shannon," he murmured in frustration when she lay back down, pulling her against him for a second so that he could move his arms to unhook the clasp of the bra..

He slid over her, guiding his hands along the curve of her waist. She shivered in anticipation, but when she felt him move inside of her, she moaned, arching her back and pushing into his hips to get as much of him as she possibly could. Finally, he pulled out, but she was left breathing heavily for a few moments, as the euphoria had not yet faded away.

Eventually, she rolled onto her side, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He was on his back, a blank expression pasted on his face as he stared at the ceiling. "You dope," she laughed. He looked at her to rebuff her, but then he ended up pressing his lips into hers again. She kissed back in spite of herself, rolling on top of him again.

Afterwards, they lay asleep, and she breathed quietly into his ear. When she woke up the next morning, he was already awake, not to mention dressed and showered. He handed her a piece of toast in bed, noticing the expression of dismay on her face. "Sorry it's not exactly gourmet," he apologized.

"Oh, no, no, no. I don't care about that," she dismissed, "I was just… you already took a shower."

"So?"

"I thought you were going to wait for me," she smiled disappointedly.

"Well," he sat down next to her, where she sat, her hair in a mussed up-do, half-naked, and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm not necessarily against taking two showers." He murmured in her ear.

"And after being such a dirty boy last night," she laughed, "You might need two showers to get clean, don't you think?" So he did her in the shower as well. God, they were such sex fiends.

"Shannon," she heard a voice say to her the next morning when she woke up bleary eyed. She blinked, her eyes focusing on Sayid, who was standing in front of her.

"Huh?" She asked. "What time is it?"

"It's ten." He told her, his expression conveying that he was disappointed in her for sleeping so late. "I want to show you something, get ready." As he left, Shannon groaned, pretending it was Boone who had something to show her.

Okay, I know, I'm cheap, blah blah blah, I can't put a sex scene in every chapter, la la la, but I did, so too bad for you. Anyway, that was the second to the last chapter, so I had to put something happy in it, right? Please review, and say which parts you liked and didn't like, as usual. Thanks for all the reviews from last chapter! Ah, here comes Chapter 37, the chapter of doom. I think I'm going to cry. L