WhoFAN: I'm flattered that you've graced me with your first review. Thank you. Hope you continue to enjoy :)

Brownie Points to YamiKITG for the perfect title explanation ;) You can choose the POV for the next chapter, if you like!

Thanks again for all the reviews, I love you all to bits!

Okay, I'm jumping on the TARDIS bandwagon, mainly because I need to explain a few things and because it was the easiest POV to use for this chapter. Hope you enjoy the new POV.

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Part Nine: What Would You Do?

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"Come on, you know I'm gorgeous."

I can hear them before they enter, but I felt Jack's presence the moment we arrived on this planet and it's nice to have him home. I know he can barely feel my presence, but he hasn't spent the same length of time on me as the others have, even Kit. I don't think the Doctor even realises how long she's been with us; in fact, I know he doesn't because I can see the patches in his memory, just as I can see them in Kit's. Memory changing is a tricky business, because no being I have ever come across realises just how intricately the heart and mind are linked. The Doctor didn't want to forget our Rose, so it was so much harder for them to erase her. The moment she made contact I was able to help them rebuild things, I was able to help them pull off the patches. But Kit? Her patches are just the same, but she has no one to help remove them. I don't know if I want them removed, I'm not sure any of us do. Even her. I can see beneath the changes and I do not like what I see.

The Doctor pushes a few wrong buttons (he's been doing it for centuries, but I haven't the heart to tell him) and I jostle slightly, trying to right myself. I amuse myself sometimes; I didn't intend for Kit to land on Jack, but it's still funny watching them fumble about. They really are too alike to get along. I always knew that.

"If you wanted put your hands on me, Kitty-Kat, all you had to do was ask."

"It's Kit and if I ever actually wanted to put my hands on you I'd have myself committed."

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Get over yourself," Kit retorts and I can feel her anger building. I have no idea why she's letting him get to her; she winds the Doctor up the same way.

"How about you get over me." She glares and Jack just smirks. I've really missed Jack! "Come on, admit it, you love me already."

"Oh, wait, you're right, I see it now." I know what she's thinking already and I can read the tone.

"I knew you would."

"Yeah, I can see the words 'smarmy git' tattooed to your forehead. Your pretty boy hair was just covering it up."

"Just wait till you see the word 'stud' tattooed on my-"

"Jack," the Doctor says with a laugh, but I know he hasn't failed to notice Jack's longer locks either. I know he prefers Jack's hair the way it was and I know that Jack does too. I also know the pretty boy remarks will start again the minute we've got our Rose back.

"What?" Jack asks innocently, pouting in a way I know the Doctor finds amusing. So do I. There's something undeniably cute about the man. "I was only playing." Even if he is an intergalactic playboy.

"Go play with yourself," Kit mutters and quickly leaves. I know she wants nothing more than to go to her room, but I can't let her. If she goes there she'll sleep and they don't yet know that that's the last thing she needs.

I give the Doctor a nudge in the right direction, rather I refuse to move and send him the image I saw of Kit as she entered the TARDIS. I might not be able to communicate with him as well as I'd like, but the connection Rose forged through her dreams continues to strengthen my link to all my companions. Especially the Doctor.

He didn't even notice she was behind him and, really, why should he? Kit is programmed over people who are more important to him and I know Kit wouldn't take offence to that, because she knows it too. The Doctor offered her refuge; at least that's how she remembers it, and she had no one else. She'll take what she can get because it's all she has and then she'll move on. So long as she's not consumed by it first. I don't think she's even realised how entwined she is with the Doctor, in fact, I don't even think she realises she knows who Rose is either. I'd give her a nudge, but I'm too afraid to spark off some hidden trigger. She's the key, but I need her and the Doctor to realise that first.

I lead him to the garden (sectioning off a little of myself for Jack, ready to reacquaint myself with the missing part of me) where I've taken Kit. She's pacing and glaring into space, as if she can affix a face to me, someplace to channel her frustration. She knows I'm the reason she's there and I can tell she knows I've seen her 'dreams', even if she herself refuses to see them.

"So, that's Jack?" she says without turning. Her sixth sense is almost as acute as the Doctor's.

"Yeah, that's Jack." I can hear the cheerful indulgence in his voice. He's glad to have jack with him again. Only I can really know how much he's missed Jack and Rose, because even he didn't know. And the silly fool wouldn't take any of my hints. I mean, why else would I continue to drop them off in London at the same place in the same time? Does he think I'm stupid? Faulty landing coordinates, my-

"Any chance we can trade him in for a different model? And yes, model is a key word there," she continues dryly.

"Yeah, he is a bit pretty, but he's Jack." The Doctor frowns and takes a step closer to her. She won't be able to run from him anyway, I'll make sure of that, but I'm glad he's being careful. What he's about to say will hurt her, even if it is the truth. "Jack is not negotiable. He was here first and he should have been here all along, Kit."

It's amazing how much words can hurt and I only get the second hand feel of it.

"I know," she says softly. "I'm just tired."

He nods. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

She looks slightly alarmed at the question; or rather she feels it, her face remains blank. I could hit him for being so blunt, sometimes, but he always seems to know what he's doing.

"Why would there be?"

"Because you're not sleeping, you're barely eating, and to be honest, you look like hell."

"Gee, be a little nicer, why don't you," she says, but she's too tired to even put much feeling behind her words. "I'll be fine."

"TARDIS doesn't think so," he replies. And a few moments later, "And neither do I."

"Then you're both in need of a fine tuning, because you're Kit-o-meter's are out of whack." She rolls her shoulders back, but won't meet his gaze.

"Kit, you said you'd help me and you have…let me do the same for you."

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?" he challenges.

"You don't want me to."

She pushes past him and, with what I'm feeling from her, I let her go. She's not going to give him anything, not right now. But she's sleepy, so tired that she might…

I've never really liked this sensation; especially with Kit's disjointed memories, but as I float above a forbidding castle, I know it's important that I'm here. She usually pushes me out, but she's too exhausted this time.

The ground is covered in tiny, grey stones, but the world around it is so colourful. The entire planet is gorgeous and even the other side of the castle is beautiful, but she's trapped here, with in the grey. It's a punishment, but I'm not sure why. The word 'punishment' is often used here, though. It's so dark, almost as if the happiness and hope is being sucked from my very being…no from Kit.

There's something strange, though. I remember this place; I remember being here the last time…was this where we lost Rose? I hate that I don't know the answer to that question, but I gave up so much to protect what I could of the Doctor's mind, and Jacks, and our little Rose's, that I lost a part of myself in the process. I'd do anything for my companions, especially these ones because they give the Doctor something that he's never really had before and they gave him back some of that innocence and youth that the war cost him. Even Kit, in her own way, did the same. But she couldn't do it at the expense of the others. Those three are a part of each other, they're a set that can't be broken. But someone tried…

I'mpushed out with a force I don't expect and I know we jumped through time a little as a result. I'm never this easily unsettled, but there's something coming. Kit knows it, that's why she just awake with a start.

I manoeuvre the corridors to get the Doctor and Jack to where she's lying. When she fell asleep, she actually fell and someone needs to fix that cut on her head; if only it were so easy to fix what's inside. The guilt, the fear, the loathing, the helplessness…

"Kit, what happened."

"Fell."

"Really, we'd never have guessed," Jack says as he helps her to her feet. She doesn't even have the energy to glare at him.

"Can't sleep," she mumbles as they take her to her room. I've moved it close enough and filled the cabinet in her bathroom with everything they'll need.

"We'll give you something for that," the Doctor says as he helps her onto the bed. He can be so dense sometimes.

"No, can't sleep. Don't let me sleep."

He and Jack exchange a glance and I wish I could just shout at them with words they'd understand. Yes, she's a little loopy, but she's still telling the truth.

"Sleeper," she tries again, but I can still sense their confusion. She needs to hit them with something they'll really listen to. I send her an image of Rose as she is now, as I've seen her. Kit frowns and looks at them.

"Rose's hair's been cut off," she slurs and falls onto the bed.

She can't sleep!

They might not understand my words, but my intent sure got to them. They shake Kit awake with great difficulty, but she does eventually wake and look up at them blearily.

"Jack, get a glass of water."

Jack nods and heads into the adjoining bathroom I've placed there. He opens the cabinet above the sink and I'm glad he has the sense of mind to take out the dermal regenerator to fix the cut on her head as well.

"Thanks," the Doctor says as he's handed the glass. A moment later there's an outraged splutter as Kit wipes the water from her eyes. Jack leans forward to fix her head, smirking in amusement. It was quite funny.

"Now," the Doctor says as Jack finishes. "Do you want to tell me what this is all about?"

She looks down. "What?"

"What? Cut the crap, we want to know why the TARDIS almost brained us just because you went for a little shut eye."

"Kit," the Doctor says, crouching down and looking up into her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I told you, you don't want to know."

"I think you know that's not true."

Kit shakes her head. "What if I don't want you to know?"

"I think you need to me to." He sighs and looks at her expectantly. "I can help you, Kit."

"Can you? Is that what you'd do? Help?" He nods and she shakes her head again. "What would you really do, though? What would you do to find out the truth?" Her voice is even and she's somehow keeping things from me, because not even I know what she's feeling. "What would you do to me," she whispers, "if all this – if losing Rose - was my fault?"

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End of Part Nine

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This was never really meant to be so Kit-centric, but this story has taken on a life of it's own. I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the lack of Rose. She'll be back soon, as you can see from the ending there!

Go on, review, you know you want to! ;)