"Artemis, are you sure this is a good idea,"

"Well, usually, I would make some reassuring gesture to remind you of my extreme intelligence and, thus, letting you know that I have weighed up all the probabilities and have, of course, come to the conclusion that this course of action is, definitely, a "good idea." However, in this case, if I were to make such a gesture, it would be implying something dishonest; I have not even formulated a plan, let alone calculated the odds of its success. So no Butler, I'm not sure, not at all. – Sorry." Butler looked, briefly, over at Artemis, blinked once, said nothing, and then unceremoniously returned his attention to the road.

In reality, Artemis had begun his planning but he had been entirely truthful in saying that it was not yet complete, nowhere near in fact. The young genius had, however, already managed to give himself some key strategic advantages. Firstly, and most crucially, timing: Artemis had chosen to flee St Bartleby's at the beginning of his parents trip to Venezuela (where, with their new found generous spirit, they were aiding the local peasants – the kind of idealism that, not too long ago, Artemis would have considered inexcusable) His plan was that, within this two week window of opportunity, he would make contact with Holly, Mulch and Foaly, during this period his school would have no way to contact his parents and that if before the end of it he returned before his parents, the school would, hopefully, be inclined not to let them know of his escape and subsequent disappearance – such a disappearance would probably lose them the Fowl's custom. Secondly, he had arranged with Juliet, Butler's sister, that she would be handling all the Fowl's affairs in Ireland while Artemis and Butler were away.

"Um … Master Fowl…" Artemis breathed out a, carefully placed, sigh. – He did not like his plotting to be interrupted.

"Yes, my dearest, in fact, my only, charge."

"Where exactly, am I supposed to be taking this baby to?" He said, stroking the steering wheel of the Fowl's brand new Mercedes'. Artemis groaned. Loudly.

"Butler, please. You are not, as far as I am aware, in a, small budget, B – movie. Nor, thankfully, are you a 17-year-old adolescent taking a test drive in your first car. And, as such, Domonvoi, I will ask you to drive this vehicle to our not so humble abode." Butler winced at the use of his first name, but regained his composure quickly.

"Right, Fowl Manor, it is." Butler paused, "… Arty"

Artemis could not help but smile back at the cheeky grin that was now upon his companion's face. Then the horns of a thousand frustrated commuters brought them the temporary surrealists out of their daze.

"Butler, I believe it is convention to bring the car into motion once the light has gone green."

Impatience. It is one of the few features of intellectual brilliance that could actually annoy Artemis. During their three hour drive from St Barteby's Artemis had complied an extensive mental list of everything they would be likely to need. He disliked the imprecision of the word "likely," but circumstance, he had found, makes its own dictations. He was currently waiting for Butler, who had received a copy of the aforementioned list in the form of the latest electronic notepad, was taking a long time. Well, actually, he had up till now, taken only 4 minutes. But, by Artemis' s calculations it should only have taken between two and half to three and a half – if he had taken the most efficient route between items, of course. Within the crunchy, stony grounds of mansion's car park Artemis was fidgeting. He was perfectly able to meditate when travelling, he was making progress then, but this waiting was really getting to him. Every second Butler spent looking for basic weaponry and stealth equipment was a second lost that could have been spent looking for, or, even better, looking at, his magical friends. He poked his head out of the window and yelled out in a very insincere crossness at Butler, who was embracing a stubborn looking Juliet in a bear hug, "Butler, if you don't mind we have places to go and people to see…" The cliché reprimand faded out faster than it had begun; how could I possibly deny Butler his good-bye to his sister? After all, she hadn't exactly been happy that, once again, Artemis was asking her to mind the metaphorical fort. Butler opened the driver's door, sat down and closed it again in one movement,

"Sorry, Artemis." It was as insincere as the accusatory clause that had been its cause. Artemis entirely understood how much demand the last few years episodes had placed upon him and felt that feeling, that feeling that had been occurring all to regularly when in contact with Short and the others: guilt. So he merely shrugged. It was a sign of how much time they had spent together that two words and a bodily gesture could convey so much. The fact was that there was huge sadness between both their eyes, there was a great urge to open up to each other to express their mutual loneliness, their combined context had led to little companionship, other than each other. Despite their frequent contact they had missed each other during Artemis's spell at St Barteby's – during his time there they had both diminished as characters. It was relief to be together again but, at the same time, it was a blunt reminder of how much they relied upon each other. Worryingly, for the second time in a matter of hours, Artemis found he was gazing into Butler's familiar black eyes and, for the second time it was he who broke the most comfortable of silences.

"Lets go find our souls, Butler. "

"Yes, lets. But first, one more thing." Began the bodyguard.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Where do we look?" He completed, as he pulled out onto the picturesque B road that ran along side of the manor.

"Ah, Butler, the beauty of memory." Artemis explained, "One of the advantages of not being mind wiped"

Butler was tired, very tired. He used to have the stamina of an elite marathon runner, but this was no longer the case. Also, he was confused. Artemis had had them travelling almost non-stop since leaving the Maths lesson at St Barteby. He had flown for 4 hours, got straight off of the plane, attended to their business, driven the hired car to here (here being somewhere in Portugal) and then Artemis had instructed the jet-lagged servant to hack though numerous bushes and trees, and to dig through infinite amounts of mud and rock. So Butler, the loyal man that he is, had obliged; he hacked and dug his way through bush, tree, mud and rock for almost three and a half hours. Now, finally, he had unveiled, Master Fowl's great plan: A, very dark, very long, very menacing chute, which, almost certainly, belonged to the People. Butler had a nagging suspicion that whatever was coming next would not involve going back to the hotel for a sleep. Sometimes Butler wondered if his purpose in life would always be to serve, it was for most Butlers and, increasingly, Artemis had been using him in servant like ways, but he decided to put this thought to one side and find out what the next phase of Artemis's latest scheme was.

"Now what?" It was two words that conveyed a lot of complex feelings that someone as intuitive as Artemis could pick up, however, he chose to ignore them and give a straight answer.

"Now, Butler, we jump." He waited for the dramatic response, and he got it.

"Jump, what do you mean we jump? - This thing stretches down thousands of miles below the earths surface."

"Oh, Butler, I didn't realise; I though it was simply a rabbit hole. Lets go home then." The sarcasm would have been evident to a three-year-old. But Butler had never in his life been less amused.

"Artemis, I have followed you through thick and thin, but you've got a screw loose. This is our lives you want to throw away, I would take a bullet for you Artemis; I have taken a bullet for you Artemis but for a worthy cause. I know the last few months have been difficult but this is stupid." Artemis considered his response carefully, this wasn't, after all, the most watertight plan he had ever come with and maybe his judgement was being clouded by loneliness. But the odds weregood.

"Have I ever failed you Butler?"

"Artemis…"

"There have been times, before where you have thought I was crazy. Were there not? You even doubted the existence of fairies, didn't you? I will not lead you astray of that, you have my word. - If you trust me you will follow." And then, Artemis Fowl The Second – one of the finest minds in human history – jumped It was one of the most uncharacteristic decisions of his entire life.

This is beyond foolish; this is suicidal. Butler thought, as he sprung into his chosen abyss. As he began to fall he muttered 5 words of great meaning, which echoed around the potential tomb, far enough just for Artemis to hear them.

"Only because I love you."