Through The Years
A/N: I am back from my vacation, it was very enjoyable. I hoped everyone's Thanksgiving was a happy one. I am back and very refreshed, I was even able to crank out another chapter.
Cordelia woke up the next morning in a good mood, tonight she was having dinner with Buffy and her family. Tonight would give her a chance to talk to Buffy, and find out what is really going on with her. The little talk they had last night didn't do anything for her, she knew the other girl was hiding something and wanted to find out what. She got out of bed and headed over to her old bedroom, which now belonged to her daughter. The memories came flooding back to her. Buffy and her would spend many a nights telling stories, watching movies and doing girly things. Sometimes she wished that they could go back to the simpler times, before the blonde moved away, and before she had Lisa. She didn't regret having her daughter, but it was a responsibility that she wasn't ready for. After checking that Lisa was still asleep, she crept back to her room and lay down on the bed. The rain was falling and she could hear it hitting the window, she smiled as she thought back to when Buffy had come to New York for a visit.
Flash Back 4 Years Ago
Fourteen year old Cordelia and thirteen year old Buffy were outside sunbathing, when the rain started. Instead of going in they decided to play outside, something they used to do when they were younger. The two girls were jumping in the forming puddles enjoying themselves, and the summer rain.
"I'm going to get you!" Cordelia called out to her blonde friend. She took off running after the girl.
"You can't catch me; I'm much to fast for you." Buffy called back to her friend as she took off into a mad dash.
They chased each other around and around just enjoying the rain, until Victoria called the two girls into the house. The two girls were met with towels and instructed to take a bath and change their clothes. They hung their heads low as they made their way through the house. As soon as they got upstairs the frowns turned into smiles, and they began to giggle.
"Mom didn't look happy." Cordelia told her friend, as she was getting her clothes out to take a shower.
Buffy turned and gave her a bright smile, "It's okay, you know she can't stay mad at us for long." She replied, while also pulling out some clothes.
Cordelia left the room to take her shower and Buffy went to the guest bathroom to take a shower. The two girls met in the middle and went back to the brunette's room.
"Buffy can I talk to you?" The brunette asked her long time friend.
The blonde sat down on the bed next to her friend and rolled her eyes, "Of course, you know you can." She gave her a smile.
Cordelia started pulling at a non-existent piece of lint on her comforter. She was nervous and didn't know how her friend was going to react.
"You're my best friend and my sister, I love you very much. I'm starting to have all of these confusing feelings for you. I don't know how or why, but I just do. No matter how hard I try, I just can't shake it you know? I love you Buffy and not the way that a sister loves a sister, but the way my mom loves my dad." She said softly.
Buffy looked at Cordelia intently and listened as the rain was softly hitting the window. It was funny the way her friend was feeling for her because she felt it too. Problem was she liked guys and didn't like girls not like that anyway.
"Cordy, there is no need to be afraid of telling me how you feel. I understand how you feel, because I am feeling it also. We're girl's sweetie, practically sisters and us feeling this way about each other would be wrong. Don't get me wrong I love you very much, but we shouldn't act on this. I'm sorry." She replied to her friend.
In that moment the brunette felt her heart break, Buffy felt the same way, but didn't want to act on it. She decided to do something about it, without thinking she grabbed Buffy by the arms and crushed her lips to the blondes. This move took Buffy by surprise, but she returned the kiss without any problems. Buffy was the first one to break away, a look of bewilderment on her face.
"I didn't mean too, but I had to show you how serious I was. I meant what I said Buffy, the way I feel for you won't ever change." She got up and left the room.
End Flash Back
Cordelia knew that Buffy felt the same way she did, but was scared on how everyone would react. Everyone could see it, but Buffy was too worried about standards, the heart can't help who it loves. She's tried to get over the other girl, but it wouldn't work, she remained single until Angel came along. They dated and next thing you know she was pregnant with Lisa. Angel was very attentive to her and the baby after she was born, but things quickly fizzled out and they decided to go their separate ways. He is still a major part of the little girl's life. With her mind made up, tonight she was going to confront her blonde friend.
Buffy woke up to the sound of the rain hitting her window. She stretched a little and lay back down again. The rain was always something Buffy loved from the time she was younger until now, just as long as there was no thunder. Cordelia had been on her mind a lot since last night, she didn't know what it meant though. Truth be told she was a little jealous over her dancing so provocatively with that guy. She wanted to go over there and knock the living hell out of the guy. It really wasn't her fault that she was living in denial about her feelings for Cordelia, but now everything has changed. The brunette pretty much said that she was in love with someone else, to top it all off she has a daughter. Tonight her family was having dinner with the Chases; to her it was going to be weirdness personified. Her friend was going to want to talk to her tonight, but she didn't know if she could tell her how she truly feels.
Buffy made her way down stairs after showering and changing her clothes. She saw Giles in the kitchen fixing breakfast; it was like a big thing in their house. He was at the stove flipping some pancakes oblivious to the girl's presence. The devil got into Buffy and she went up behind him and poked him in the side. This caused Giles to yelp and almost drop the pancakes. He turned around and glared at a laughing Buffy, she was literally falling over with laughter.
"Buffy, what are you doing? Never sneak up on a person, who is cooking, I could've burned breakfast." He reprimanded her, but had a smile on his face.
"Sorry Giles, I couldn't resist. Usually mom is down here cooking, is she still sleeping?" She questioned her step-father.
"No, she had a headache this morning, and I decided to fix breakfast. I hope you don't mind." He told her.
The blonde gave him a huge smile, one that was mainly for her father, "No, I don't mind at all. Can I talk to you about something?" She questioned him.
Giles turned the stove off, and walked over to the island where Buffy was sitting. He was grinning inside, because Buffy wanted to talk to him. That was something he has been wanting since he first met the girl. He knew she had a father whom she loved dearly, but he wanted her to talk to him also.
"You know that you can talk to me." He gave her a smile.
Buffy let out a sigh, "I like someone a lot, I even love this person, but this person loves someone else. We've known each other since forever, I've always had feelings for this person, but I thought it was wrong. Now this person is back and the feelings I had for this person are now back ten fold. Something's have changed with this person, and now I'm kind of scared. Should I act on these or should I leave it alone?" She looked up at him.
Giles gave Buffy a knowing smile; he knew exactly who Buffy was talking about. Anyone with eyes could see how the two girls felt for each other, yes it seemed like sisters to the untrained eye, but to others it was obvious. Joyce and him were wondering when Buffy was going to wake up and recognize her feelings for Cordelia.
"Buffy, if you really love this person as much as you say you do then you should tell her how you feel. It would never hurt to try, even though she may be in love with someone else, it still wouldn't hurt. You never know Cordelia may feel the same way, don't worry about what anyone else says, you are a grown woman and you can't go around denying how you feel. It's best to do it now before you finally lose what you want the most. A word of advice, don't let the little girl scare you off, if you love Cordelia as much as I know you do, then you could love the little girl too. They are a packaged deal, can't have one without the other." He told her truthfully.
"How did you know that it was Cordelia?" She asked clearly surprised.
He gave her a smile, "Buffy, when she's around we can see your heart on your sleeve. Take the chance and seize the day." He turned around to scramble the eggs.
Buffy had a lot to think about, did everyone know how she felt about the brunette? Was it written all over her face, was she that obvious about it. What Giles had said made sense, it was kind of along the lines of what her father and Angelina told her. Tonight she was going to talk to her friend and let her know how she really feels. She helped Giles set the table for breakfast and Joyce had finally come down.
"What time is dinner tonight?" Joyce asked her daughter.
"Around 7 I believe, but I might go over there earlier." She replied.
Joyce and Giles shared a smile; they both knew what was going to happen. Hopefully they could get it right. Neither had a problem with Buffy dating another girl, it's just something that was new to them. Cordelia would probably be a better choice for their daughter anyway.
"That's good, you two need to spend some time together, plus it will give you time to know Elizabeth better." Giles told her.
Before she could say anything her cell phone started to ring. She held up her finger and got up from the table to answer it.
"Hello?... Hi daddy!" She cried out over the phone.
Joyce couldn't help but smile at the love in her daughter's voice. It kind of hurt her heart a little that Buffy had a lot more love for her father than her. She regretted the decision everyday of sending the girl away, so long ago. She missed out on a lot of Buffy's life growing up, but now that she was back she was determined to make it up to her. Giles placed a hand on hers and gave her a smile.
"I know, mom told me... I will be up there this Friday; I can't wait to see her... I'm not; I have a little sister to spoil... Tell mom that I love her and give her a hug and a kiss for me... I love you too daddy." She hung up the phone and went back to the table.
"Was that your father?" Giles asked.
"Yeah, it was daddy. He was just concerned when I didn't call him back last night. Mom was worried also and she told him to call. She would have called, but Dawn was being demanding. I'm going up there Friday to spend the weekend with them; I have a little sister to spoil." She smiled, and continued eating.
Nothing else was said for the rest of breakfast, everyone was in their own little worlds. Buffy finished up breakfast and headed back upstairs, she needed to find something to wear tonight. She looked in her closet and pulled out a black skirt that went just above her knee with a small split and a white camisole top. It revealed a nice amount of skin, but not too much. With that decided she went back and lay down on the bed, she felt tired suddenly.
Cordelia was rocking Lisa to sleep, when she realized that it was almost five thirty. Buffy and family would be there in less than two hours, she needed to get ready. Getting up off the bed carefully she carried her baby to the other room, and placed her in the child sized bed. Giving her one last look she walked out of the room and closed the door. The time has come for her to pick out something nice to wear tonight.
Buffy arrived at Chase manor at exactly six-fifteen; she was running late because she wanted to look presentable for Cordelia. She rang the door bell and waited for Vincienzo to answer. Buffy didn't have to wait long, because he came to the door a smile on his face.
"Buffy, come on in. We weren't expecting to see you until seven." He smiled at her.
The blonde returned his smile, "Mom and Giles will be here later, I wanted to spend sometime with Cordy before dinner." She replied.
"She is upstairs in her room, go on up." He pointed up the stairs.
Buffy turned around and walked up the stairs in the hallway she saw her surrogate father walking towards the study. Antonio saw Buffy coming out the corner of his eye, he made his way towards her.
"Buffy, it's good seeing you again. Is your mom and Rupert here also?" He asked her casually.
"No, they will be here in a little bit. I just wanted to talk to Cordy before dinner; we really didn't get a chance to talk last night." She explained to him.
"She's in her room, I don't know if she is ready yet, but you can go in." He gave her a smile.
"Thanks dad." She responded.
Buffy walked up to the door and knocked on it, she twisted the knob when she heard 'come in'. The blonde walked into the room and saw her friend standing there wearing nothing but a towel. Her breath caught in her throat and she immediately turned away.
"Sorry, I thought you would have already been dressed." She apologized to her friend.
Cordelia let a smile cross her features, she had a feeling that Buffy would arrive early. She orchestrated this perfectly, but she didn't expect her to turn around.
"That's okay, I had just put Lisa down and lost track of time. Have a seat on the bed. What brings you by?" She asked, as she saw Buffy take a seat on her bed.
"I was kinda hoping I could talk to you before dinner. I needed to do it now before I lost my nerve." She explained.
The brunette stepped into the closet, and came back out dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a shirt. She couldn't help but look at what the blonde was wearing, the skirt was hiked up a little showing a nice amount of thigh, and the shirt was showing just a small amount of cleavage. She had to take a deep breath and get her thoughts under control.
"Well, here we are so talk." She sat beside her friend.
Buffy got up and began pacing, "I have been living in denial for the past eight or so years, and it took just recently for me to realize something. I have been in love with you from the beginning. Maybe not when we were growing up, but a little while later, I was so afraid of what everyone would think. I realized that it didn't matter anymore, I love you Cordelia and I always have. I'm sorry for the way that I've been acting these past few days, but everything hit me so fast. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, I was swimming in it, and I know it's a little late, but I had to get this off my chest. You don't feel the same way I do and that's fine, we could just remain friends and I could be an aunt to that beautiful little girl of yours." She stopped pacing and waited for her friend to respond.
Cordelia was speechless, she's waited to hear Buffy come out and say how she really felt. Now that time has come, but the blonde had it all wrong. She wasn't in love with anyone else, but with her friend.
"Buffy, sit down." She waited for her friend to comply, "There was no one else, other than Angel, but when you heard mom and me talking it was about you. I've tried to deny the way I felt for the longest time, hence the dating of Angel. I wasn't planning on coming back to Sunnydale, but when mom told me you were attending UC Sunnydale, I had to come back. So here I am, I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, but when I saw you the feelings came rushing back. I never got over you and I know you didn't get over me, not that easily anyway. I remember when we had this same exact conversation eight years ago, except this time the feelings are mutual. I'm not suggesting that we jump into a relationship we have to get to know each other again. There's so much we missed out on, I want us to reconnect on that level that we had before we lost contact. I have a child to think about now, and I don't want her to get hurt." She looked at the expression on Buffy's face and quickly added, "I'm not saying that you would hurt me, but you get what I'm saying." She gave her a hopeful smile.
"I would like for us to be friends first and for most. I want to get to know you and your daughter. She seems so precious, I'm sorry if I freaked you out the other day. I was dealing with something's, but someone helped me see clearly." She told her friend.
They began laughing like two school girls. It wasn't the end, but a new beginning for the both of them.
"So tell me, who is Oz?" Cordelia asked.
Buffy smiled, "Oz was my elementary school friend. Actually we go back to being friends in pre-school. When I moved back to LA we reconnected again, along with some of my other friends. Anyways I didn't know him and the Dingoes were going to be playing at the Bronze. He is more like a brother to me than anything else." She explained to her friend.
"That's good to know, I wanted to make sure I didn't have anyone for competition. Tell me about this Spike person you dated?" She commanded.
"Spike is actually William; he went to school with us for one year before he went to England. You know the one who Drusilla was always hanging on? He came back from England all hottie like, he remembered me as I did him. We became friends and eventually we dated. He broke up with me when Drusilla came back into the picture, she was literally insane. We parted as friends though, last time I heard he was going to college in Boston." She replied.
"Wait Drusilla went to your school? How was that possible when Faith was here?" She queried.
Buffy smiled at her friend's bewildered expression, "Drusilla was sent to live with her real father in LA, which I didn't know until later on. So that's how I met back up with the terrible twosome. She apologized for the way she treated me, and we can tolerate each other to an extent. I'm going to LA to visit this weekend, my mom had the baby and I want to see her. I've always wanted a little sister, go figure I get one ten years after the fact. They named her Dawn, from what my dad told me she's a beauty, except she has brown hair instead of blonde. I think it comes from Angelina. Enough about me, tell me about you." She asked her friend.
"I promise to tell you after dinner, I hear our parents talking. Come on lets head downstairs before they send out the search party." She grabbed her friend by the hand and drug her out the door.