Harry Potter and the Attack of the Hairkillers

-Awesomely revamped-

By: Niena Ramil and Amee Oran

Prologue:

The train arrived. Finally. After waiting for like, a gazillion-batrillion-million-infinity years, the train had finally appeared. Niena opened her large, majestic, and somewhat demented looking brown eyes and slowly stood up. Mum and Dad had dropped her off a little early. Why wouldn't they? Oh they were so relieved when the letter came, weren't they? How eager they were to get rid of her, weren't they? Well, Niena didn't care. She didn't need mere commoners to appreciate her talents, especially since The Master was just a phone call away.

Ah, yes, The Master. HE always cared about her. HE always listened to her. HE would never abandon her just because she had filled up the house with gaming equipment. HE would always care about her, whether she got good grades or not. Oh, how she loved The Master. His smooth, sexy voice. His kind, yet piercing gaze. His long, flowing, gorgeous silver hair that shone like a brand new Playstation™ disc. Well, the back anyways. Sometimes the damn things would have art on them. But that had nothing to do with…THE MASTER. Her darling, sweet, kind, Master. His strong, muscle bound arms. His long, thick…oh dear, now we're getting carried away, aren't we? Moving on…

Niena sighed and picked up her heavy luggage. Dragging it on the ground, she came closer and closer to the platform, and made her way to a seat as far back as she could possibly get without crossing to the second years car. The Master would be upset she was leaving, but she promised him she'd be back for a visit, and mentioned he could always come by on the weekends. The only problem was she forgot to tell him the address. But The Master always knows the way, right kids?

Soon after Niena had fallen asleep, a few dozen students started piling in, and that of course woke her up. Grumpy, she glowered at everyone who even dared to sit next to her.

"Oh Master, why do I have to be chosen for some special academy? Why wouldn't Mum and Dad tell me where I was going? Why are all these people wearing robes? How did I walk through bricks earlier? Oh Master, I wish you were here. Then you could see all these pretty owls that just came in. Oh Master, I wish I had an Owl. To love. To hold. To comfort…"

"Harry Potter!" Two boys said loudly down a few seats. Niena looked up to see two amazingly tall, skinny, red-haired twins with amazed expressions upon their extremely adorable faces.

"Oh Master, forgive me for this adultery!" Niena cried, looking away as quickly as she could. But what was this Harry Potter they were gawking at? Niena had to look again, but tried not to stare at the miraculous beings standing next to two more boys. One was kind of fat, with bright red hair like the twins, and the other was skinny and pale, with jet-black hair and the dorkiest glasses she'd ever seen. "What a poor soul." She shook her head in pity.

"Are you really Harry Potter?" The fat one asked.

The handsome one nodded, and pulled back his front bangs, revealing a very bizarre scar in the shape of a lighting bolt. Now Niena was intrigued.

"So, that's where You-Know-Who…"

"Yes, but I hardly remember it."

You know whom? Who was this You-Know-Who person that they seemed to know and she most obviously didn't. Why did this Who guy go around putting strange carvings on peoples foreheads? Niena decided that she must investigate.

But first, she would have to finish her nap.