A.N. I love Hana-Kimi and all the hot men therein. That does not mean that I own Hana-Kimi. I wonder if our lovely original author ever thought of leasing those men out though…I'm not sure by the hour would be good enough though... She'd be sure to make a fortune. Not that she doesn't have one already.

I was having a fantasy that involved mistletoe in it and it worked out really swell for me in that little daydream. I've taken a few of my experiences with unwanted male attention (China. Don't ask.) and adapted it to fit to Hana-Kimi and then weaved in my mistletoe fantasy. Voila! Fanfic cooking made easy!

Stupid Mistletoe

By Magawa

The Christmas holidays were approaching, which was normally a happy, wonderful thing. I mean, we're on break, no school, half the crazy male population of Osaka high goes home. I mean little perks, you know?

The thing that made Christmas crazy this year is Nakao. Honestly if I didn't know any better I'd swear another fangirl had come to Osaka to stalk Nanba. As it is, I'm pretty sure that I'm the only girl crazy enough to enroll herself in an all boys' school just to be close to the one she loves. Yeah, as far as I know Nakao didn't have to fake manhood to get in to Osaka…

That doesn't make him any less crazy in love for Nanba though. Egads, at least I love Sano with quiet dignity. Nakao posts the fact to anyone who is stupid enough to remain still in his presence for more than a minute.

His latest scheme to get Nanba has to be his most ingenious. Instead of being sly or coy or flirtatious or plainly feminine, Nakao has decided to go with a straightforward (er… if not exactly straight) plan. Oh yes, I can see comprehension dawning in your eyes as you piece things together. Christmastime plus love scheme equals mistletoe.

Damn that plant.

Because of course, not only did Nakao invite trouble for himself; one of the most bishounen around, but he invited it for me as well. What all those hordes of horny raving lunatic men don't realize is that I am a girl. Not just a guy who looks like one. I guess that's what really makes me so attractive.

So not only did Nakao scatter mistletoe in almost every available doorway in dorm two, but he also set about telling anyone who would listen about the Christmas curse that would befall any who found themselves under the mistletoe and did not kiss. He also stated that once set upon you, the curse could only be lifted by kissing your one true love under the mistletoe. Frankly, I think he made the whole thing up. How can any season as wonderful as Christmas boast anything as evil as a curse? It's inconceivable.

Damn Nakao and that stupid plant.

So for the past week or so I've been dodging the wayward kisses of the men odd enough to desire them of me. I just don't understand how guys can find me attractive looking the way that I do. Yeah okay, maybe if they knew I was a girl… but dressed like this and actually enrolled here? But I've been getting kiss sneak attacks from even the most "straight-laced" of the men.

I thought Nakao was going to stab me in the eye after Nanba nearly kissed me.

I have to say though that my dodging skills are becoming top rate. I mean, I was a fast runner before, but now… I really think my reaction-rates are brag-worthy. Kiss my dust!

And so of course, I've been proclaimed to have been hit with "the curse." I've even had several of the boys try to convince me to let them, ahem, break the curse, for me. I can't help rolling my eyes at their silly behavior. Seriously, someone needs to sit them down and tell them that those pick-up lines wouldn't work on any self-respecting girl… let alone a girl pretending to be a boy.

Nakatsu has to be the worst. I mean talk about persistent. He waits in every doorway. But at least I saw him coming. He proclaims his love louder even that Nakao does for Nanba.

The one man who hasn't tried a damn thing on me is the one with whom I wouldn't mind trying out a little necking… er… wait that came out wrong.

Sano hasn't even tried to make a move on me! I mean, what's up with that? How is it that the one person I wouldn't mind making out with, has no desire to make out with me?

Maybe that's why I'm bitter about that damn mistletoe. Yeah, damn mistletoe.

And that's why I'm outside now. There are no doorways for that stupid plant to hang over. No boys waiting for me. No worries, no fears, no rejection.

Before I really realized it, I was at that place where I seem to always go subconsciously. And if you have to ask then I guess I'll just have to tell you: my feet unconsciously lead me to Sano.

He was outside practicing his high jump as usual. I watched his muscles tense as he looked the obstacle over, mentally figuring its height and the necessary force and energy he'd need to fly over it. His muscles tensed and relaxed before he set himself in motion. His muscles moved of their own accord under his skin and he moved with the grace of a panther.

If ever I was in doubt as to why I had come to Japan, all I had to do was let my feet lead me back to him. I was as captivated as I was the first time I'd seen him jump. To be cliché, he was poetry in motion.

I sat down with a hard thump expecting to find the spectator bench beneath my derriere. Unfortunately, the stupid bench doesn't just place itself where I need it to be. It was still a good three feet behind me.

Stupid bench. Stupid Nakao. And stupid mistletoe. Stupid Sano for not just kissing me. Aargh scratch that! I certainly shouldn't be thinking like that. I'm supposed to just… just… keep thinking boy thoughts, I guess.

I suppose my startled cry when I discovered the bench was no longer going to catch my sorry butt was what alerted Sano as to my presence. He came over to me, grinning that wry smile he has like he wants to make a sarcastic comment, but figures he maybe ought to hold his tongue… and then never does.

I was right again. Because he came and plopped himself down right next to me in the dirt of the track area.

"You do know that the bench is just a few feet further back right?"

"Aargh! Of course I know that! I just, uh, tripped on a rock."

"Oh yeah? They usually keep the track pretty free of anything that would trip the athletes. It'd have to be a pretty sizable rock too for you to trip over it. Although maybe not, you are quite the klutz sometimes."

"I am not a klutz!"

"Ha. So let me guess, tired of all the boys trying to chase you into some mistletoe?"

"Yeah. Idiots. Like they'd have a snowball's chance in hell of…"

And that idiot that I love just sat there and grinned at my misfortune.

"Hey don't take your anger out on me. I'm not hunting you down. Last I checked, I helped you get away from Nakatsu, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I'd forgot about that." I really had too. Sometimes, it's just less painful to block the memories from your mind. Like that one time in the States I was lying on the floor and a big wolf spider came and crawled up on my chest. Man I'd never taken off my shirt that quickly in my life… I'd flashed my brother but then that was hardly an issue with a ginormous spider on my chest. I'd only remembered that blocked memory because my brother had the grace to remind me not to flash any boys – even if I did have a huge spider on my chest.

And now I'd just missed half of whatever Sano had just said. I swear I must have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).

Oh wait, there it is –

"…I'd think you'd be just a little grateful to me for not wanting to corner you like that."

"Mmm…true. A girl does not like to be cornered and kissed."

That was my mistake. I'm an idiot who's going to need a CAT scan because I'm pretty sure I must have been brain damaged with that last fall because my brain-mouth connectors aren't working so good anymore.

"Hmm…no, I can see how that could be a turn off for a girl." Sano continued in his quiet earnest voice. "But what if the girl knew the kiss was coming?"

Oh god what am I in for now?

"I suppose if the girl wanted it too, then it would be okay," I answered cautiously.

"And how does a guy know if the girl wants it too?" He asked, his voice dropping an octave into something almost sultry.

Why is it that men never seem to realize what a wonderful voice will do to a woman, huh? The pitch, his intonation, the underlying meaning, the smooth silkiness of it – all had me doomed from the start.

Stupid hot voice. Stupid bench. Stupid Nakao. Stupid mistletoe. And worst of all, stupid me for thinking I could ever have denied wanting him to kiss me - even for an instant.

I really had to fight to clear my head.

He suddenly switched subjects though. Maybe Sano has Attention Deficit Disorder too? Although I'd never seen it in him before…

"Hey, you want to see a trick I taught Yujiro?"

Confused by the quick change in topic, I could only nod dumbly.

Smiling, he called out to Yujiro, "Hey Yujiro! Sneak Attack!"

Obediently, Yujiro trotted up behind us. He had something in his mouth but I couldn't really see what it was without craning my head around and possibly falling even further into the dust.

So it kind of took me by surprise when Yujiro put his paws on Sano's shoulders and dangled that wonderful, fantastic little plant over our heads.

"Well," Sano asked, "What do you think of Yujiro's new trick?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it. "I love Yujiro's new trick," I said truthfully.

He laughed too. I guess he had his answer as to how he was to know if the girl wanted to be kissed…

All I had to do was look up at him a little, and he more than took care of the rest.

I guess even if there were a Christmas mistletoe curse, I'd be cured of it now…

Sano's a really fantastic kisser, you know? And the best part of this Christmas season was that he could kiss me whenever and wherever in dorm two that he wanted. And it was all thanks to Nakao's wonderful little plot with that wonderful little plant and the wonderful man that I love. Does it matter that I still don't know for sure if he knows that I'm a girl?

A.N.: Hey that's it... You know the drill. You leave me reviews. I write more stories. The world is a better place. It's that simple.