12-21 (10:07 pm)

Lily

Dear Diary….or the most trusted thing that I have. That I know of.

Out of all the most horrible awful things that could happen…why this? My heart aches. No, not my heart, my whole body. My head, my arms, my stomach, my eyes, my nose…yes even my nose hurts. My body has that feeling that I get when I go on a ride at a park ----the type of ride where it just shoots you strait down, that feeling of my stomach going back up to my throat. Then back down over the course of seconds. My head is screaming at every piece of my body to get a grip. He's not worth it. Maybe the more I say it that James Potter isn't worth my tears, maybe just maybe my body will believe it. I doubt it though.

12-21 (10:08)

James

Hey journal. The only thing that keeps me sane. Like now.

Um. How do I start. Journal, you're the only thing that I have that doesn't judge me by who I date, what kind of car-or broom I have. Depending on what world I'm in. You don't judge me by the type of clothes I wear, the music I listen to or even what lies I tell myself about how I'm supposed to feel about how I treated lily and how I don't love the girl I'm going out with . o.k I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll start at the beginning.

12-21(10:11 pm)

Lily

James Potter…how can I begin? Well, I could give you all the background of how we went to school together hated each other…yada yada yada. No, diary I know about how I hated him, how he hated me. I've known that part for what seems like forever. What I didn't know was the part where I would fall in love, no not love, it's not the right word. Let me put it this way diary; I didn't know that I would ever come to needing James like the rain needs a , puddle or ocean to form itself its self into a droplet. I didn't know that I would find myself wanting James like a lost child wants to find it's way safely into it's mothers loving arms. Above all, I didn't know that I would ever come to the point where I would trust James with every part of me, everything from my hair all the way down to my toes. Another thing that I did not know was how wrong I was in thinking that James needed, and wanted me as much I did he. And I most certainly should have known how wrong I would be to trust him with everything I have. But that's the thing about loving or whatever word suites you about "love" is that it keeps you from seeing what everyone else can see but you. That sometimes, they just play you.

12-21 (10:30pm)

James

I would say that I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into when I made the decision to use lily to get to Trixi. Trixi in herself was like a goddess, lusted after by every singe strait man to ever see her. (and I swear she could convert any gay man). Trixi with her long flowing hair and blue eyes that you thought when they looked at you, that you were in heaven. Her skin always looked like she just came from a tanning bed. God she was beautiful. So unlike Lily. I mean lily has her cute qualities too. But that's another story.

Trixi and Lily are excuse me were best friends. What it comes down to is this; I wanted Trixi, (but who didn't?) Every other guy in our school had tried to get to her, all had failed. All but one. That one being me. I never thought that I'd say this, but I don't regret wanting Trixi, I regret getting her. Because now that I have her, I can't have the one person I do want for I've hurt her to much.