Chapter 5: "Friends Again"

Rory looked down at her watch for the tenth time within the hour. It was 5:45 and Logan was still not home. She had ordered Chinese and it had arrived way before Logan. She was feeling guilty about what happened with Jess, but opted not to inform Logan of her actions. Suddenly the front door opened and Rory swallowed hard. It was time to play the happy girlfriend, or at least try to.

"You're late, I ordered Chinese but I think its cold now." Rory said.

"That's ok Ace I'm not very hungry anyway.' Logan said as he kissed her forehead.

"Oh ok." Rory said sadly.

Logan didn't miss her sad tone and suddenly felt bad for eating before he left.

"Why don't we watch a movie and then when it's over we can pig out on the left over Chinese food? I'll be hungry by then I'm sure." Logan said as he sat down next to her on their black leather couch.

"Sure" was all she said as she laid her head down on his shoulder. The movie started, but Rory wouldn't pay much attention to it because her thoughts drifted to a certain James Dean wanna be.

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Jess looked down at his copy of Whitman's "Leaves of Grass" He had been getting into poetry lately, but right now the only thing he was concentrating on was the fact that it was 3:15 and Rory had yet to arrive. Maybe she wasn't going to show? She had cheated on her boyfriend maybe she realized she had made a mistake. Just then the bell above the door sounded and Jess sighed with relief as Rory approached his table.

"I ordered your drink for you." He said as she sat down.

"How did you know what to order me?" She questioned.

"Coffee extra strong nothing added to make it taste remotely good right?"

She giggled at his response. He did know her better then she remembered.

"You think you know me so well don't you." Rory Joked.

"No, if there's one thing you don't forget its how a Gilmore takes her coffee."

"So true so true" Rory said as she took a large sip of the drink he had purchased her.

They both sat in awkward silence neither one wanting to be the first to speak. They had so much to say to each other, yet neither could find the strength to voice it. Rory decided to break the ice with a subject they were both familiar with.

"Whitman huh?" Rory questioned.

"Yeah one of America's founding poets. You gotta have respect for a man who wanted to rebel against all other forms of poetry to create a unique form for America." Jess said.

"Yeah, it's kind of sad that his vision of America never really happened though. He had such high hopes for the future of America and its people."

"Well he was a romantic." Jess said

"I'm sorry!" Rory practically yelled through the restaurant.

"You don't have to apologize Rory. The kiss was both our faults we shouldn't have done that."

"Not the kiss, I'm sorry for how I treated you."

"What, When?" Jess asked.

"When you told me you loved me. When you came to my dorm and asked me to go with you. You were right I wanted to. I was so afraid, I couldn't." Rory spit out.

"I know." Jess said so quietly it was barely audible.

"I was so afraid to be with you again because you hurt me so bad. You do something to me that makes me forget who I am. I was at Yale I had moved on and I couldn't screw that up."

"I was stupid to ask you to come with me. I'd never been in love before and when I saw you with Dean that day in your dorm I lost it. I couldn't loose you again, not to him. I was stupid though because I already had. I lost you when I left."

"You screwed up Jess."

"What else is new? I screw up everything."

"No, you're different now. You seem different anyway. I guess getting older will do that too you though." Rory said

"Or loosing someone you love." Jess said sadly.

Rory didn't know how to respond to his comment. She felt guilty for turning him away. After all he had done to her she had been afraid to leave with him, so she made him leave by himself that day. Perhaps because she knew she had truly loved him and she was afraid of being hurt again by him again. She would never know what would have happened if she went. She did know one thing though she missed talking to him she wanted him back in her life.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" She questioned.

"Sure."

They walked down the streets of New York like they had years before. They were like friends again. They both discussed the books they had been reading, suggested books to each other, and reminisced about authors they had once spent hours analyzing. They both had feelings that went beyond friendship, but for the time they were happy just to be in each others presence.

"So this boyfriend of yours, serious?"

The question had come out of nowhere, but Rory had expected it to be coming soon.

"His name is Logan. We met at Yale he's great." She said not so convincingly.

"Huh, well I'm glad you happy." He said.

"What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nope." He said angrily. He didn't want to be angry with her but at the moment jealousy was clouding his thoughts. He decided to change the subject before it turned ugly.

"So how's Yale going?" He asked.

"Well, um I'm not going there anymore. I'm taking a break from school."

He was shocked, Rory his Rory had dropped out of school. The girl he knew would never dream of dropping out of school. School had never been a chore to her like it had been to him. School had always been a dream. She wasn't just leaving school behind she was leaving her dreams behind as well.

"I'm kind of on a journey right now to figure out what I want to do." Rory said.

"What about Journalism?" He asked.

"Well that was kind of put on the back burner when Logan's dad told me I didn't have what it takes. It started with that anyway, and then Logan and I got arrested, and suddenly my priorities had changed. I didn't know who I was anymore."

"Wait, you got arrested?'

"Yeah, it was stupid Logan and I stole a boat and we got caught."

"It seems to me that this Logan guy has gotten you into a lot of trouble. He's indirectly caused you to give up on your dreams, he got you arrested, and he's made you question who you are. That isn't you Rory."

Rory stopped short she didn't know what to say. The last person she had expected to judge her would have been Jess. She was angry she couldn't believe he would blame Logan for everything that was going on.

"I didn't realize I was talking to my mother. How dare you accuse Logan of changing me! I did what I did because I was stupid Logan had nothing to do with it. You of all people shouldn't be talking about getting me in trouble."

"Look, I'm sorry it just seems to me that every life altering decision you have made was because of him. I'm just worried you're making the wrong decisions."

"Yeah, well you're not my mother, and right now I'm not even sure you're my friend." Rory screamed as she walked away from him.

Jess stood there motionless. He should have just kept his mouth shut. He had been wrong to accuse Logan of changing Rory, but all he knew was that she had given up on her dreams and Logan hadn't helped her to regain them. If he was in Logan's shoes he would have pushed Rory into sticking with her dream. If this guy truly loved her he wouldn't have let her do that. Now he was pushing her away and he couldn't do that again.

"Rory wait!" he yelled as he rounded the corner. He watched her enter a nice apartment building and followed close behind her.

Logan watched the scene unfolding in Front of him as he crossed the street to his apartment. Rory was running from someone as the man yelled out for her. Realization hit as he recognized jess from the record store. There was definitely more to the story then Rory had let on.

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Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! Keep it up it gives me inspiration to update! Let me know what you thought of this chapter.