WOW…that's all I can say …WOW!! I didn't expect such a huge response to the previous chapter. Thank you, thank you, and did I say thank you? You guys make it so hard for my ego not to go flying through the roof, but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the attention, your reviews were so encouraging that I had a big smile plastered on my face for days (no kidding). It's very heartening and I really hope that I don't disappoint, in fact feel free to threaten me if I make you mad enough (sorry for pissing you all off last chapter).
ALSO, bows head I am super duper ultra sorry for updating late, I was EXTREMELY busy this week with my two jobs and I barely had time to get on the computer outside of checking my e-mail. Hopefully, it won't be so bad next time. I hope this chapter makes it up to you guys. If I start sounding weird (like anyone can tell the difference) it's because I'm extremely hyper right now (I'm a morning person, what can I say) which means that I may or may not put in some twists. BTW don't be surprised if there a mammoth amount of weird psychological musings in this chapter because I'm in one of THOSE moods right now.
Now then it's time to answer a question that has cropped up multiple times…
QUESTION: Where do I get the short stories at the beginning of each story? Is it…
A) A storybook
B) A kitty's cute little tushie
or C) They're pulled from the head of an authoress with crackpot ideas and a weird
sense of humor (with a bit of screwed-up-ness thrown in for extra measure), whose struggling to come up with a revolutionary drawing style within the area of manga and anime AND who is considering becoming an actual author of a series that is STILL in her head as of yet.
Now then, take a few minutes to think over you answer…
(NOTE: it doesn't have to be right or wrong since I'm just doing this for fun)
If you picked A) then I'm flattered, B) then you get cool points for liking cats, and if you picked C) then again I'm flattered, you get my love for eternity, many thanks and a license to own Sesshoumaru (that I of course do not own and have no right to give away), oh…and it also means that you are correct. throws confetti and bows
Now then, it's our favorite time right now and that is for the all important "thank you" s for reviewing the last chapter…
Thanks to:
Chandra16 (hey you changed your name), GothicFaye, lyerial, Jaded Akumu, aishiteru-inu (thank you very much, I was afraid that people would hate my guts for putting in the whole Sess with Kagura thing. I couldn't bring myself to hurt Rin that badly, so let's just say that she was very shocked. The Peacock and Dove story is one of my favorites to write next to the puppet one and I'm always glad that you like it so much.), friendlyreader (no bathroom pushing just yet although that might happen later heheheh, as for the kiss…just keep on reading. Oh and "rawr" is the perfect reaction to jacking Kagura up. Bring out those nails Rin.), Nicole, me (), IceSugarHigh (Hey you can get away with it 'cause you're so "capricious" coughcough. Naw I didn't take you seriously, but you did have me rolling on the floor laughing cause you always give me the most interesting responses and I appreciate it, spices up my life ya' know.), Haruya, (Don't apologize for making a long review because I'm so happy with the attention that it doesn't bother me. Yes, I think Rin would have a lovely right hook, wonder if she has a kung fu kick as well, hmmmm.), AriKitten, anhimals, Naoko2 (I would love for it to be a classic 'cause even in school everyone still has
to read them no matter how crappy or boring they might be-the books not this fic, but close enough. I apologize for mentally torturing you, but its alright as long as you don't get scars, right? Yes, there are many unspeakable things that many people want to do to Kagura hehehehe. grins), CometsChaos, RosieB (I'm mean, I know it, but I'm glad you found my story interesting enough to read in one sitting. I agree, Rin isn't developed nearly enough, but then again that just means that fanfic writers like us must remedy the problem. ), Rin6, pristinediamond, Peanut Gallery-Alaska's Own (A MAC I-BOOK?!!! Hiss…don't scare me like that shivers I want to put in more Kagura butt kicking but it'll have to wait since they only just met and you can't always beat up a total stranger.), Tsume Yamagata (Thank you, I didn't want to be hated by my fellow Sess/Rin fans. It's one of those thing that can either make or break you.), Ladystar (I know he's a little off, that's why Rin is there to heal him.), Moonglowgal (wow 2 x's?), Bily's Shadow (?), LuneTigre (Sorry for hooking you grins evilly yup, I had fun writing about Kagura getting punched out), Sayori-chan (Suspense suspense suspense or should I say angst angst angst), drake220 (please don't kill me for taking so long to update, this witch is still only human), evil sqeede (to answer your question about the little stories I put in see the little quiz I put in above. Thanx for enjoying the story and double thanx for saying that its original, makes me so happy sniffle), Abbil (thank you, I was afraid that people would think my way of writing is too weird), Rin-Amaru, Maggy d (you're right about the smirking part lol. Yeah, Kanna is awesome although she freaked me out at first. I like those albino type characters too, I mean, look at Sesshoumaru, he's so darn pale and gorgeous to boot.), Rayearthann, Obsessive-Starchaser, Rikou Suiyou (meow…I want someone to make Sess/Rin cookies one day, I'd be sooooooooo happy. Yup, Sess has scars but it helps to make him interesting and don't worry about being weird cause I wrote the book on it. Also -if you get a chance to beta for this chapter- thank you for that as well), Blurry, Aya792 (I'm trying my best to update sooner but I'm beyond happy that you bothered with this odd fic of mine, thank you thank you thank you)
EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS TO:
Little fireplace – Thank you. From the deepest, darkest pits of my very being I thank you. There are times when I doubt myself, especially when it comes to my writing, and I get so frustrated because even though I receive so many kind reviews, my paranoia gets the best of me and I question myself as to whether people like my story for the way I write or just because I use characters that they like. It's cowardly of me, I know, but I guess it's just a part of being human. People like you are truly the epitome of the phrase "heaven sent" because you seem to come at just the right time and strike just the right chord to brighten my day, and it makes me so very happy. Sometimes, I really feel my eighteen years of inexperience and wonder, now that I'm on the verge of adulthood, what it will be like to step off into that ravine of maturity, to take that leap…this fic is written with those feelings in mind. I can honestly say that I am only skirting the edge of that greatest change in my life because 1) you all have never met me face to face and so I feel like my words are diluted 2) I am not a mature person by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm afraid of sounding too childish. Thank you for letting me know that the mistakes I make in my writing are not as serious as I feared. I hope that this chapter is alright as well and please do not worry about me turning this into a tragedy.
Disclaimer: I will never ever never ever never ever never ever own!! There, satisfied you blood thirst lawyers?!!
Thread Bound
Chapter Nine
The Threads That Thicken
"Mother," called the child.
"Yes, dear?"
"What happens when a person tries to fix the bird that falls? Will the bird be happy then?"
"Well…" She smoothed the hair from the child's brow. "There will be two big roads for the bird then."
"Two roads?"
"Yes, two roads. He may struggle against the person who found him fallen upon the ground, perhaps even biting that person and hurting them for helping, before flying away in his ingratitude to live normally. Or…"
"Or…?"
"Or he may choose to fly high again."
"But will he not crash again, mother?"
"Yes, and this time there may be no one to catch him."
The child's eyes brimmed over with tears. "Each road leads to a sad ending. I don't like sad endings, not at all." He raised chubby fists to wipe at his eyes.
His mother patted his head gently before whispering, "I'll tell you about a secret path, my child."
"A secret path?"
"Yes, a secret path. That little bird that flew so high, that tried to be happy though his dreams appeared to be crushed, just might…"
"Yes?"
"He just might choose to stay with the person who caught him."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"But will he be happy?"
"Ah…that depends entirely on him, my child."
Sesshoumaru firmly believed that there was a time for everything, that on rare occasions a moment came where great things could happen, and that these moments come only once in a while by means of extraordinary circumstances. In this case, Rin, plus Kagura getting punched, and the moment she touched those soft lips against the scar that haunted him the most equaled one of those moments when something great could come about.
So why…why, just as he felt the barest touch of her warm skin against his lips, why did the phone ring, snapping them both back to reality? A reality where he was still technically married to his worst nightmare and where Rin was nothing more than a young cleaning woman who happened to catch his fancy.
He cursed softly and pushed Rin away, more than ready to destroy the offending product of modern technology. He swore that he could hear Fate laughing her head off at him as he picked up the phone. Dispensing anything even remotely resembling civility, he demanded impatiently, "What do you want?"
"Cool your head, Frosty," a familiar voice said with its usual venom.
Suppressing a reply, Sesshoumaru simply hung up on his annoying little brother, who, at the moment, was the most hated person in his book. Nothing irked him more than having something important interrupted by the petty, annoying things in life, namely someone as unimportant as Inuyasha.
He turned back to Rin and noted that she had made a quick escape to the other room while he schemed some of the many ways in which he planned to murder his sibling. The broken glass was mostly gone, and he assumed that she had relocated to the kitchen to throw the bigger pieces out first.
There was a new, empty space on the mantle where the vase had been, and even though he could cared less about the fact that it was gone, he made a chilling connection between that new space and Rin's momentary absence from this room.
Why was he getting so upset over a near stranger? And why did he feel so incomplete when he knew that she would be right back to pick up the rest of the glass? Why did it feel so right when she was in the same room by his side? Why did it feel like they had known each other everlastingly even though they hadn't met before the incident days ago?
He hated this endless questioning of himself; and as he thought about it, he felt the familiar, suffocating weight that would settle on his chest whenever his mind was on the brink of wandering down that particular path on the dark Memory Lane that was sealed behind layers upon more layers of denial, sarcasm, unhappiness, and all other manners of negative emotions.
Sesshoumaru despised the recollection, which came unbidden, of a dark time period, the point in his life where everything was a waking dream of happiness that he couldn't have. Memories of being locked up in his room all day with nothing to do but measure the length and breadth of his room with his teenage footsteps and wish evil things on the endless people who came to help him flooded his mind, of doctors and psychologists who came to medicate him and pronounce their judgments on him.
"Hopeless case."
"Sick child."
"Autistic."
"Anti-social."
He hated all of them for trying to fix him, for never understanding, never knowing, but always judging, always thinking that they knew best because they had college degrees, they had a lot of money, they were experts according to society. Time and again he had taken their tests, listened to their pointless chatter, and in return he told them exactly where they could shove all of their knowledge and degrees and money. In the end they labeled him as a genius and still he was unhappy.
After that came the first time he tried to free himself. It was after they let him out of his room and allowed him to eat with the rest of the family at last. He could still remember the cool feel of the glass cup that he secreted in his sleeve. The memory of shattering the glass and picking up the biggest and prettiest shard for what he had in mind was still clear. The pain of the cut, the steady drip of blood, and the knowledge that his life was slowly draining from him was still in his memory. The memory of his father's face filled with disappointment and anger as they drove to the hospital.
The nightmare became worse since then. There were days when he was sedated for hours on end, and after those were memories of being given "happy pills" to keep him from trying to end his life again. Why was he condemned to a lethargic, false happiness? Why did he have to watch them coddle that abomination of a brother at meal time while he sat by himself at another table, so drugged that he could barely muster the strength to pick up his chopsticks and eat? Why were they always so happy when Inuyasha got even an average grade in school while he got a perfect score on everything they quizzed him on and had the best grades in school? Why was he so angry in the first place? He hated them, didn't he? So what did it matter?
"It did," Sesshoumaru whispered, pulling himself back from the edge of his self pitying stint. Memories like those where exactly why he hated being asked a bunch of questions.
Realizing that his fist was clenched around something painful, he opened his palm and stared at the shard that had been enclosed tightly enough that the pale skin had started to bleed. Wondering when that had happened, he watched the slow welling of blood until a gasp from the direction of the door brought attention back to his current situation. His mood had done a complete flip-flop.
"Oh, are you alright, Sesshoumaru?" Rin asked, soft eyes full of concern for him.
"It's nothing, nothing at all."
As if by magic, she materialized next to him, taking his large hand between her two soft ones and squinting at the cut. "Are you sure, Sessh? I can bandage that up for you."
A small, shriveled part of his heart perked up at her close proximity, reminding him of what had been interrupted just minutes before. He took his figurative heel and squelched it mercilessly as he pulled his hand from hers.
"Don't touch me, foolish girl. You don't know anything about me or my life, so just get out of it."
"But I was only…"
"…Trying to help," he finished for her with a sneer. "I don't need it; not right now. Not ever."
"But why are you in such a bad mood when just now we almost…almost—" She blushed prettily and he forced himself not to retract his words right then and there.
"Do you think that I would really kiss someone as low as you? Please, don't flatter yourself. You are nothing more than the hired help, ground to walk on and use as I see fit."
He knew it was technically wrong to treat her like this. Why do you care? a voice asked him.
He wanted to know why he could bring himself to touch the happiness that had been denied him so long.
Why do you care?
He wanted to know why she wasn't letting her tears go when she obviously wanted to cry.
Why do you care?
He wanted to know why she moved towards him and hugged him gently.
Why do you care?
Most of all, he wanted to know why his arms automatically sought her warmth, why his being craved the sight of the sad smile she offered to him, and why he ached when he heard her quiet, "I'm sorry."
Rin, why do you care? You who know nothing about the real me.
What is real?
You who could never understand.
Is this real?
"Let go," Sesshoumaru whispered.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're hurting."
"You're assuming things again, child. That's a bad habit," he whispered even as he pulled her tighter.
"Then I guess that makes me a bad person. What are you going to do about it?"
What indeed Miss Rin? What can I do?
"You do know that you need to finish cleaning, Rin," he said normally. Just like that had her presence banished the evil ghosts lingering from his past, and his humor returned along with the good mood
Rin sighed and pulled away, "I was being too forward Sesshoumaru-san. I'm so sorry. It must be my instincts kicking in." A blush highlighted her face as she added, "And I can't believe how brazen I was for trying to…um…to…"
"Kiss me?" Sesshoumaru gave her that trademark grin and bent close to her ear, voice low. "A word of advice, Rin…Don't go kissing strange men's scars…, unless you want to get tossed into bed."
She flushed crimson. "I…I don't…I mean…I'm not ready…"
He tilted his head to the side, lowering his lashes a bit as he gave her his most sultry stare. "Don't you want to have…fun?" he asked huskily.
"You're playing again."
"And you agreed to play along, so what difference does it make? Want to make it physical this time?"
She heaved a sigh of resignation. Well he had told her to play this game her way and she was not about to get physical in the way he was suggesting.
Reaching up to his collarbone, Rin tapped gentle fingers on a spot that most adults found ticklish and wondered if that would be the case for him as well. He gave a start, followed by a tiny smile, and she grinned, adding more fingers to the sensitive spot. He didn't laugh out loud, but there was a hint of color on his cheeks and his shoulders shook. Both hands were added and he gave her a comically desperate look before hauling her over his shoulder, much to her delight and embarrassment, and moved to the other room where he dumped her onto the couch, bending over the girl and trapping her between his arms.
He was breathing heavily, now that her arms were gone, but it wasn't at all from being tickled. How she brought out this odd and playful side in him puzzled him, but he knew that the way she looked right now coupled with her actions was the most enticing thing he had ever seen.
"Let's stop right now, Ms. Hattori, or I'll wind up teaching you another game entirely, one that you aren't ready for yet."
She gave him a puzzled look before nodding slowly.
He moved away from her and stood straight, offering a hand to help her to her feet.
"This is entirely too distracting," Sesshoumaru said.
"But it's so much fun," Rin countered.
He turned away from her. "I suppose it is…, but we'll have to go back to the real world soon."
"Don't talk in riddles, Sessh."
He looked at Rin and gave her an almost secretive smile. "There are things about me that you don't know."
"That's obvious."
"There are things about me you shouldn't ever know. Is that easier to understand?"
The puzzled frown on her face did not at all reassure him. He looked at her lips, remembering the moment when he had almost made them his. I really hate you Inuyasha, he thought sourly.
"Doesn't everyone have secrets, Sessh?"
He looked at her. She still doesn't understand. He needed to make her understand that they were just playing, that there wasn't anything serious between them…, that they didn't need each other. His mind however, wasn't sure if he wanted to convince her or himself.
Okay then here's another chapter. This one was a little weird but then again I wrote it to show the conflicts that Sessh goes through. I should have another chapter up soon and this time I'll try to include some real action instead of this drama. Please read and review.