My goodness. My head is honestly going to either explode or pop off and fly away from getting so inflated. I can NOT believe that I have 400 reviews on this story. Someone get me some smelling salt because I' about to faint. I had absolutely no idea that I would have such a response to this rather weird story (not that I'm complaining).
Since I love you all so very much and I'm feeling emotional today, this is going to be a fluffy chapter 'cause our two love birds need a little break. Things are going to get a bit rough after this so I have to type it up while I can. Please read the thank you's because I really am appreciative for everyones support.
Sorry for the long update folks but I needed a break and I also had to do some writing/brainstorming for my Samurai Deeper Kyo fic (it's going to be Kyo/Yuya for those who know of the series and don't mind this pairing).
Now then, I know that people are pissed at me for taking so long to update my other story "Ties of Blood" but hear me out. I can't remember who (I think it was Kerichi who gave me the idea) said it, but I was aked if it were possible to make a fic where Sesshy goes through what his father did and I thought the idea could be worked slendidly into my other fic, but I have discovered that working on two fics at the same time can be HARD. I am rather long-winded as you guys may have noticed and I would have a hard time doing two fics in the SAME series at the same time. Kyo is an exception because that is easily my favorite samurai manga/anime (the manga kicks the crap out of the anime so I highly recommend that you read it). I've said it twice and I'll say it again I AM NOT GIVING UP ON "TOB" I will pick it up again after "Thread Bound."
I am sorry for the lask of division between scenes because I honestly had them in there, along with italics, bold words, and asterisks. For some reason they all vanished when I posted the story and I reposted to see if they would show up this time. I suspect it had something to do with the problems had the week before last.
It's nice to know that some of my readers live close by. I live in good 'ol Central Florida (Orlando for short) and I can sum it up in three words: "I hate it." I've been down here for nearly nine years and I still can't get used to the heat. I'm from freakin' Southwest Philadelphia for goodness sake and this ridiculous heat just gets to me sometimes. I get irritated because this state has some of the most boring weather patterns. I like storms and all but having only two types of weather sucks ultra bad. It's either rainy or hot, hot, and did I say HOT. Don't get me wrong, the green thumb in me loves the diverse vegetation and the tons of animals and bugs and stuff (yes, I'm one of those weird people who think some of the ugliest things are cute and I love animals except for hyenas and wasps). Sunrise and sunset can also be spectacular sometimes, until it gets dark and the mosquitoes come out to feast. :sigh: Give me back my snow. However, there are tons of people that I love down here and that counter balances me. So enough with my ranting.
Another note, along with a thank you to gaijinmononoke. You brought a very valid point to my attention about my use of the word aishiteru. Though I must defend myself when it comes to the mistake part. I will not say that I have been told just how deep that word is but I can tell you that I am well aware of the fact that it is something that can't really be put into words. I'm not offended in the least and even I will admit to being irritated when people use it over and over again. I figured outmyself, though, that it is rarely if ever used. My first clue was when I started taking Japanese in school and some girls asked my teacher (who was Japanese) what the word for love was and she got relly flustered. Second, after I found out about the word aishiteru and my understanding of written Japanese grew I noticed that is the shoujo manga and anime that I watched and read that they NEVER used that phrase, opting instead to use "Omae ga suki/daisuki." It was then that I figured "hey, maybe aishiteru is a more than just a simple I-love-you." Then we have this story, I was pushing it to have her say it twice but I was thinking this: what would be the fastest, most painful way for her to get him to push her away? Aishiteru is the last thing that a human-hating you kai who doesn't want commitment would like to hear. I intentionally had her say it in the 500-year-old dream because she was probably more likely to say it then than in our time. Rest assured, I won't be using it again because even I felt really weird using it and I'm as far from Japanese as it's possible for a person to get. However, I really want to thank you for letting me know that my suspicions were correct and I sincerely hope that I didn't offend. I just wanted to show everyone just how deep feudal Rin's emotions for Sesshoumaru ran. Again, I say thank you very, very much or should I say doomo arigatoo gozaimasu.
Alright, that's a lot of notes and now its time for some thanks. And if I miss someone PLEASE yell at me.
Thanks to:
Aya792, sarah, Peanut Gallery-Alaskas's Own, chandra16, RosieB, RangerDo'Urden, Yuki Haitani, UgLyDaRkFaErIe547, New Fan, Aurora Sciliitaigo, Wolfite, mushi, LunasStar, Moonglow Gal.
Special Thanks to:
Tincker Bell, RyokoRin16, SakuraBaby, gaijinmononoke, Kerichi, Naoko2, Jade Summers, Jjah-Jjah, lyerial, evil squeede, Obsessive-Starchaser (yay, another person stuck in the good 'ol Sunshine state), CometsChaos, Koalaburr (another person to share my Florida woes with), Ashes of the Star Phoenix, Baka-Chan10000, and wonderful Haruya
Ultra Special thanks to people who just make me want to go :puuuuuuuurrrrrrrr:
Rikou Suiyou- You always do such a wonderful job with Beta-ing and putting up with me. You were even nice enough to inquire about my drawings and obliging me by answering my nosey questions. Thank you, thank you, thank you so very very much. For being kind and helping me out. I'll make sure I read and review your latest chapter as soon as possible.
KitKat07- You were nice enough to advertise for this fic and you reviewed twice. You make me laugh and it's a constant joy to read your fic, so please allow me to return the favor with this"
FOR EVERYONE WHO COMES TO READ THIS FIC, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU READ "MOVING UP IN THE WORLD" AN AWESOME FIC BY KITKAT07 FOR ANYONE WHO LOVES SESSHOUMARU AND RIN AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WHATEVER COMPLAINTS PEOPLE HAVE AGAINST THIS COUPLE CAUSE THEY RUL-L-L-L-L-E-E-E-E (Echo).
Sess/Rin Forever.
:grins: I know I probably embarrassed you but I honestly think your fic derserves every bit of attention it gets and more so. Just keep on doing your thing.
Aishiteru-inu- I truly don't think that I have the words to describe how I feel about your continued support. Sometimes I feel as if I completely under appreciate you and I want to set it straight. Out of all the people who have reviewed the story, I feel as if you understand the most what the characters are feeling and I think that I would feel uneasy if you didn't review, not to pressure you but because you are a constant as far as I'm concerned. Your persistence, support, and kindness is enough to make me want to cry tears of joy and wish with everything I have to be successful. I thank you deeply, sincerely, and honestly for helping me to keep going.
Friendlyreader- You are another constant and you make me laugh sometimes with your comments but when you review I really feel the romance in this fic and that is infinitely important to a hopeless romantic such as myself. Every kiss between Sess and Rin is there because you remind me in a way to put it in and I'm sometimes tempted to change the rating into something hotter just because you make me think it. Not only that but we both love theMaven's work and that, my friend, is a good thing. I wish I had half the ability she does. Thanks for always being there for me.
Wew, two pages of notes but I have not a single regret. Oh, yeah and the poem at the beginning is courtesy of yours truly and a fictitious character.
Disclaimer: I know I forget sometimes but I really don't own Inuyasha and I'm broke to boot, so don't sue.
AN: koibito means lover
Thread Bound
Chapter Fifteen
The Calm Before the Storm
A Prologue For The Heart
A sigh, a look, a sweet caress
Hearts ever together, hands intertwined
I need you my lord, my confidant, my lover
What is love? I ask
Joyful, gleeful, Happy, Eternal
Yet...
Selfish, Painful, Lonely, Aching...
Wanting what one can never have
My lord
You built up a wall between us
And when I reached the top of the wall...
When I touched the pinnacle
You sent me back to the abyss of my love
I have nothing now save a few precious memories
And this worthless feeling deep in my heart
Of what use is love when I have no one to accept it
And why is that even after you cast me out
I seek you and I want and wish and hope and cry
To shelter your heart with mine
For if ever we should me again...
...In this life or the next
I will never cease climbing the wall that you erected
Never until you accept what no one else can have but you're
-By Ringo Fujisawa, London, England 1901-
Rin flitted from store to store with Sesshoumaru patiently following her, his arms loaded down with bags. He would normally have been thoroughly annoyed by this type of constant movement but Rin was smiling with such a look of pure joy, therefore making it acceptible. He would much rather see her happy than having her look at him with the same sad eyes she'd had when she found out about him and Kagura's relationship.
Speaking of which, he'd had an uneasy feeling upon waking up, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out where it came from. After all, he and Kagura were officially divorced, meaning that he could pursue his young housekeeper freely. He had taken to sleeping on the floor in her room because it was the only place in the whole house that didn't hold bad memories and because it was easier to sleep with her there. They didn't have anything to worry about outside of figuring out when he could go back to his home, since he had a feeling that sharing the same room for too long would wind up with them doing something she wasn't ready for. His Rin, afterall, was still only eighteen to his twenty-seven and he grimaced when he thought of the huge age gap. He didn't want anything to ruin what they had no matter how much he wanted her...oh, and want her he did, heart, soul, mind, and body he wanted everything.
And what exactly is it that you have for her? a tiny voice asked and he pondered that for a moment before she grabbed hand and pulled her with him into another store.
He watched the delicate play of muscles on her back beneath the fairly tight shirt she wore, and contemplated the wonderful feeling of having those slender, gentle, caring hands entertwined with his...he contemplated and came to the conclusion that this was what he wanted, this was what made him content. The knowledege that she was his, that he could run his fingers through her hair and place sweet, passionate kisses across her skin...he wanted to do it forever. He didn't want her to look at anyone else, to desire anyone else, to touch or hold anyone else, no, he wanted to be selfish and keep her to himself, the greatest secret of his heart and an addiction to his body.
He wondered, as she pulled him towards the section containing bathing suits, what she would think if she knew that he almost never thought pure thoughts around her. She'd probably run far away in the other direction he reasoned as he trailed her to the two piece section.
Looking around at the various bathing suits he picked out a few with his eyes that would make any man want to jump his poor Rin first chance he got and shook his head, trying to free it of the tempting images. Kagura would wear something like that but he didn't care for the thought of his young koibito wearing next to nothing out in public, and he would not think about what it would be like if she wore it with him in private.
Again with the dirty thoughts he sighed and picked up one of the skimpy suits, the most revealing one he could find, and handed it to her with a whispered, "this would be perfect for you," before he stood back with a slight smile and waited for the eruption that was sure to follow and sweet Rin didn't disappoint.
Her face darkened several shades of red and she gave him her you-have-been-sentenced-to-death look before balling up the offensive garment and tossing it at his head with an "I can't believe you, you pervert" outburst, attracting the attention of a middle aged woman and her daughter. The woman took one look at the obviously adult Sesshoumaru and the somewhat childish looking Rin, and quickly ushered her little girl away with a not so quiet accusation of "pedophile."
He snorted at her retreating back, as if he really gave a crap what people thought. It was fine as long as they both knew the truth and he turned to see Rin sticking her tongue out at the woman, a slight scowl on her face. She looked at him and he swore that he saw something sly in her gaze before she gave him a beautiful smile.
"My, that was a fast change in mood," he said with a quirk of one silver bow, "care to tell me why.?"
"Nothing Sesshoumaru, I'm not mad about the suit, I'm just disappointed," she put on a tiny pout, alerting him to the fact that something was definitely up.
"Disappointed you say, how so?"
"I thought you had better taste. That suit was much too gawdy," she turned away for a second and came back with an empty hangar, holding it up beneath her chin as if it really had clothing on it, "don't you think this would be much better, Sessh dear."
He felt his eyes widen for one moment in utter shock before allowing a rich chuckle to flow out and grasping her by those thin shoulders.
"I truly...truly think...that the...end of the world..has come..when you...start to crack...dirty jokes," he said in between laughs, leaning in close. But oh, how he wished it wasn't a joke and he indicated that to her with his next action.
His lips grazed her ear and he whispered in the husky voice he used to unnerve his little Rin, "careful darling, when you say things like that to dirty old men like me, you make me think bad, bad thoughts," he punctuated it by lightly nipping her earlobe and reveling in the shudder that followed, before moving away picking up an orange and yellow ckecked two-piece with concentric brown circles. He handed it to her with a "I think this would look pefect, Rin" and sat down in a chair to wait for her to try it on in the fitting room.
A few minutes passed and he frowned, it shouldn't take this long to try on a simple bathing suit.
"Are you well, Rin?" he called out, hoping that she hadn't hurt herself of something. Anything was possible with Rin and he didn't relish the thought of running through the women's fitting room, trying to find her.
"I'm fine and I'll be out in a few. Just don't laugh alright," she replied a moment later, before stepping out and squaring her shoulders, a lovely blush on her cheeks.
There were few things that could leave a man like him speechless and the sight of Rin in that bathing suit shot it's was up to number two, with number one of course being able to see Rin with nothing on at all. She was, for lack of a better word, magnificent. Her long legs were nicely accentuated by the high cut of the bottom, and it accentuated her adorable rear as well. Her stomache was flat, yet toned and her every "asset" was nicely highlighted by the contrast between her long, raven colored hair and the brightness of the suit. He unconsciously licked his lips and if he had a mirror he would have seen that his eyes had darkened considerably.
Rin however, noticed and blushed even harder, managing to stutter out, "I...I take it you like it, Sesshoumaru."
"Very," he replied, his voice deeper than usual.
Sesshoumaru beckoned for her to come closer, which she did cautiously, and looped his arms around her waist when she was close enough. He was at eye level with her midriff and pulling her even closer he touched his lips to the sensitive skin on her belly, earning a gasp from her.
"Beautiful," he murmured softly against her, "so beautiful, my Rin," he kissed her again and again, nearly suffocating in the wondrous warmth of the girl he well near worshiped. He buried his nose in the sweet skin and inhaled, ah how he loved the clean scent of her. One thing that he'd shared with the dream Sesshoumaru.
"People are staring, Sessh," she remarked, feeling her face grow even hotter.
"Let them," he replied, ignoring the voice inside that was yelling at him. Saying that cold hearted Sesshoumaru Toyotomi shouldn't be acting like such a sentimental fool, that he was above nonsense like this, that she wasn't worth losing his old self over. He told the voice to rot in the deepest abyss on the face of the planet.
He was tired of many things, tired of hating himself, and tired of holding back. For Rin, and only for Rin would he let go, not for Kagura, not for his step-mother, and certainly not for Inuyasha and their deceased father. The young woman in his arms, her hands tangling themselves in his hair, was the key to unlock the door to his emotions and he really didn't want anything but to have her with him.
Yes, for her he cast away his pride and asked, pulling away and standing although he kept his arms around her, "when we get home Rin, may I kiss you?"
Those soft eyes widened and she replied, "you don't have to ask for that sesshoumru, that is something I give willingly to you."
He shook his head, "what I want is something special. I need to know that you don't mind."
Rin looked at him and, apparently reading the depth of his emotions and how much he was lowering himself to ask this, nodded.
The smile he gave her in return was soft and he marveled at the pair they made. Is this what happens when a man with no future, who relies on sensuality while staying apart from everyone else...is this what happens when he meets someone as sentimental as Rin?
It wasn't that he had changed, in fact he was sure that he'd still be a jerk with a tongue sharper than any blade when all was said in done...but his little koibito could drag up the emotions he swore he couldn't feel and for the brief moments they spent together...he was free and it tasted so very sweet.
He let her change back into her regular clothes and went to pay for the bathing suit before they decided to go home.
Once they got to the house, they took her things up to the guest room and set about packing them away.
Rin would occaisionally steal glances at him, trying to determine what mood he was in. He had surprised her so much that day and she wondered exactly what he meant by a "special" kiss.
"I'm going to change my clothes," she said out of the blue and he stopped folding the shirt in his hands, to look at her. Sometimes she swore that he could melt her with just a glance and at that moment she saw a subtle defiance in his posture-he really didn't want to leave-before he gave her a smile and excused himself. Briefly wondering if he'd seen past her request and realised that she just wanted time to think, she sat back and stared at her ceiling, cluching her new swimwear to her chest.
Today had been a strange day. Sesshoumaru was being sweet for one thing and she had even gone as far as to crack a dirty joke, something that brought a flush to her cheeks just thinkg about it. Actually, thinking about the way he looked at her today was enough to make her feel light headed. His eyes, his beautiful golden eyes had reflected varying degrees of caring, want, and something that could have been desire, but what stood out the most was the raw, naked want. It had been similar to a child that had been punished and was doubly careful about getting something that he knew he needed.
Is that it, Sesshoumaru? Do you need me? Do you need plain old silly, annoying Rin? She asked silently.
Beautiful.
She trembled at the recollection of that word.
Beautiful...my Rin.
Kami knew exactly how close she had been to confessing her love for him and she wrapped her arms around herself. No one had ever called her "beautiful" before, "cute" yes but never beautiful and she wanted to cry tears of joy when he held her as if she were the most precious thing in his life. She relished the feeling beause she knew just how much she reciprocated that exact emotion. She could smile in the face of the harshest circumstances, she could suffer abuse, but the thought of him leaving her made her ill.
Maybe it was because she felt special around him.
He had many faces that he showed to different people, but she was the only one who could see his happy face and it was enough...more than enough really.
She glanced over at the table next to the bed and noticed the book that she sometimes saw Sesshoumaru flip through with a pensive look on his face. Standing and walking over to it, she picked it up gently, noting how old it was and opened it.
There were pictures sketched onto the cover. A scene of various animals and objects, such as a puppet and a young girl, a dove and a peacock with a scary raven flying overhead, spiders, and a big apple tree, with a crescent moon in the sky overshadowing it all. Something in the back of her skull niggled at her that this was something familiar but when she tried to call forth the memory, nothing came up, she didn't remember ever picking up this particular children's book when she was little..
Turning the yellowed pages, she realised that this must have been the original copy of the book because the charcters were written in ink with a hand that reminded her disturbingly of her own. She could even see the places where the ink had been blotted to remove mistakes. In tiny characters at the bottom of the page she read the dedication of the book.
This is for the person I love. For my dear sweet Sesshoumaru who can never love me back, I pray that this book will find you after I'm gone.
-Ringo Fujisawa-
A shiver went down Rin's back and qickly turning the page she noticed that there was a poem instead of a real prologue and read the title aloud: "A Prologue For The Heart."
The poem that followed was almost painful to read, and the amount of sadness it conveyed made her seriously question wether or not this was a kids book.
Blinking back tears she read through through the first story, which was about a boy who found a dead birds on the ground and his subsequent questions about the nature of life. She was half-way through when a familiar voice next to her shoulder said quietly, "I thought you had to change your clothes."
She looked up to find Sesshoumaru giving her a steady stare.
"S...Sorry, I got distracted. Please don't get angry," she mentally kicked herself for sounding so frightened.
He looked at her for a few moments before sighing and lightly patting her on the head.
"Lay with me for a bit Rin," she fought down a blush and nodded, laying down next to him, resting her head on his outstretched arm, which he curled around her side, leaving them face to face.
"Don't you have something to ask me Rin?"
"About what?"
"About why my name is in a book that was obviously written way before I was born. About why I would care for a childrens book like that and why it doesn't seem much like a book for kids in the first place. Don't you want to know?"
She looked up into his soft golden eyes and gave him a tiny, "yes."
"I'll make this short then. We are connected, at least I think we are."
"Con..nected? How so?"
"I'm unclear on that Rin. All I know is that our names, Sesshoumaru and Rin, are special. My family has this superstition that started about five hundred years ago. It's that everytime a Sesshoumaru is born, there's a Rin for him. My family is descended from royalty and the prince who started the whole superstition was named Sesshoumaru."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I don't know really...but it seems that he had a servant named Rin who fell in love with him, but he rejected her as soon as she confessed his love for him and she ran away."
"That's terrible."
"Well, I heard he was more than human and that even I look like a philanthropist compared to him."
She grinned at that.
"To make a long story short, and I'm not saying that I believe in that silly tale, but I will admit that it's very strange that you and I met. I didn't notice until my step-mother brought that bookover and I looked through it. Ringo Fujisawa is just one of the many Rin's who had her heart broken by my ancestors. There was another girl name Rina Hanazawa, Harinko Yamamoto, and more going way back."
"How do you know all of this?"
"My father told me some of it, but I also looked around at all of of paintings and pottery. Every single piece was done by a woman with the name Rin somewhere in their own. We even have pottery going back to the time of the first Sesshoumaru with the name Rin on it, quite a lot in fact. The man wasn't very honest with himself about how he felt about her and he collected her work even after she had married a potter. Sometimes..."
"Yes?"
He held her a little tighter, "sometimes I had dreams."
"What were they?"
"Dreams of a different time, a different place, a different...me."
She was a silent for a moment and his arms tightened even more as if afraid she would think him crazy.
"I have those too sometimes," she said after a while, "but they're so painful. If the man I see in my dreams is the past Sesshoumaru then I would rather have the present you."
His eyes widened a bit before his thin lips curled upwards into the smile he showed to no one else but her.
"I don't really care about the past anymore Rin," he said, cupping the side of her face and locking eyes with her. His features almost tender, younger, unburdened.
"Me neither."
"Then let's forget for a little while then," he replied, placing a gentle kiss on the side of her cheek before claiming her lips with his own.
"Yes, let's."
He didn't stop kissing her, he didn't let her go for a full hour. Always, when his lips met hers she felt complete, as if the past was slowly coming to a conclusion, and when he moved to lavish kisses on the ivory column of her throat she held him all the tighter. Rin knew that they wouldn't go much farther than this today because they couldn't shake the feeling that another storm was brewing and she still wasn't ready for him. She would never be ready until she told him she loved him, but still she held him tightly, anticipating the day when she could give him everything, the day when she would know for sure that they were allowed to be together.
When he moved away she buried her face into his shoulder and asked quietly as she had before, "can I stay with you?"
He tilted his head, smiled once more, and kissed her gently in reply.
Kinda' short I know but this was really an interlutde to make up for the long wait you guys had for these two to kiss. Now you all know where I was going with those short stories. This chapter was kinda' short but hey what do you expect, it was almost pure fluff. Please R and R and I should have the next chap up soon.