Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken and some of the movies here. The last fic seems to stick in history, no offense to Hitler, Mona Lisa and Mussolini, Blame Lee (he-he). Anyway, I think I'm getting a hang of making this fic crazier than I ever expected. Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy!
Walking in the depths of Bratislava, They see people crowding on the streets.
Some are taking a bath on the sides, some are eating like cannibals and some are just bored doing nothing.
"Still want to sleep here Lee?" Anna asked.
"Not a chance!" Lee prompted.
"I'd rather stay in a prank hotel than hang out with these people" Paul said.
"Let's kill the fart bomb" Kazuya said looking at Heihachi.
Heihachi just laughed hysterically.
"Do that again and we won't hesitate strangling you to death" Nina said as she glared at Heihachi.
"I think we're becoming good friends now Nina" Kazuya said calmly, Nina just shrugged.
"Touché Mishima, touché" Nina added.
Heihachi did nothing but laugh.
"Gee Kazuya, your father has found a place for him" Paul said
"this place might be a good spot for his grave" Kazuya mumbled silently.
"Were you saying something?" Lee asked.
"Go mind your own business somewhere else!" Kazuya replied harshly.
"Is that what he does if he's bored?" Marshall asked as he used his cam on Heihachi.
"Since if he does that all the time to ease his boredom, I won't hesitate getting him on cam and watch him go crazy off-guarded" Marshall added.
"You're speaking my language Law" Kazuya said.
"And besides, either bored or not, he's crazy. He has a world of his own." Kazuya said calmly.
Heihachi just kept laughing.
"Father! You're embarrassing us" Lee yelled irritated.
"You can't blame me!" Heihachi said as he continued laughing while pointing at a T.V. in the corner.
"The man on T.V. has a crazy hairstyle" Heihachi said as he laughed hysterically.
The gang watched and was startled except for Anna and Nina.
"This film is freakin' familiar" Paul said.
"I remember you saying 'he pretends he's in a Ferris wheel' in the hotel" Lee said.
The film ended.
"That's it?" Heihachi complained.
The guys except Anna and Nina laughed hysterically.
"You're so shameless laughing at yourself" Paul said as he continued to laugh.
"What do you mean?" Heihachi was clueless.
"Picture this, was the title 'Heihachi's Funniest Videos' rang any bells?" Marshall said as he laughed.
Heihachi just stood there expressionless while seeing everyone laughed at him
"Crazy hairstyle the man has, eh?" Kazuya said as he laughed
"This is one of the reasons why I love teasing the old fart, he can't recognized his own face" Kazuya mumbled to himself.
"Father laughed at himself" Lee said as he laughed.
Heihachi just growled angrily.
"Just find a hotel!" Heihachi yelled.
"Look! It's the star of 'Heihachi's funniest videos'!" a man said as he ran to Heihachi with some other people.
Heihachi ran away
"I told you to leave father…" Lee said calmly as he ran too.
"It's not my fault he had rabid fan cannibals" Kazuya replied.
"Cannibals you were saying?" Paul wondered.
"There's a description awhile ago about people eating like cannibals, I'm quite sure you didn't see that coming" Anna said.
"Fan cannibals? Never heard of those" Nina said.
Everyone ran away until they reached a hotel.
They quickly entered.
"That was close" Marshall said.
"Was I that famous?" Heihachi said.
"Yeah, you're famous all right, for idiots…" Kazuya teased.
"Picture this, 'Heihachi Mishima, Japan's number 1 bald comedienne'" Paul said giving Heihachi a nonsense title.
"I'll support that if it just says 'Japan's bald comedienne'" Marshall said.
"Just say 'bald comedienne'" Anna said.
"Forget you!" Heihachi yelled.
"Where's the fag?" Kazuya said glancing at every side.
A minute later, Lee fell in the fireplace.
"YOU LEFT ME!" Lee yelled.
"Faggots will only slow me down" Kazuya said calmly.
Lee growled angrily as he went to them.
"Anyway, let's get a room" Paul said as he went to the reception.
After giving them a key, they all went to the room they're assigned to.
"So what do we do now? We can't just wait here doing nothing" Anna said.
"I know, let's play 'TRUTH OR DARE'!" Marshall insisted.
"I agree just to do something" Paul said.
"Let's make an agreement, everyone must do their dares whether they like it or not" Lee said
"No comment" Kazuya, Heihachi and Nina chorused.
"Great" Marshall said as he grabbed a bottle from his backpack.
He spins it and landed on Kazuya.
"You got to be kidding me…" Kazuya said in a hushed irritated voice.
"Deal with it, the bottle chose you" Marshall said.
Kazuya looked away irritated.
"Truth or dare" Marshall asked as a Dracula laugh sound effect was heard.
"Are you a vantreliquist?" Kazuya asked
"What's with the laugh" Paul asked.
"Nothing, just to spice up this game and I'm not a vantreliquist" Marshall said.
Paul sweat dropped anime-style
"Dare" Kazuya said.
"I dare you to watch Teletubbies and sing the opening song they sing" Marshall said.
"Teletubbies? Aren't those the little aliens with different colors? The one with a baby sun as well?" Paul asked
"Yeah" Marshall replied.
"Man, the horror" Paul said calmly.
"Paul, that movie is specially made for children, not for some adults you know!" Anna said.
"It would be better if you see those freaky aliens do their film like the South Park series" Paul said.
"What's your problem anyway?" Lee asked.
"Stupidity never wears off in that film" Paul said
"You mean you watch Teletubbies!" Marshall asked surprised
"No, I'm just reading the CD case" Paul said, everyone sweat dropped.
"In that case…No way, anything but that!" Kazuya yelled angrily.
"It's a dare" Marshall said.
"No way" Kazuya replied.
"Suit yourself, you don't want anyone to find out about that train incident with that crazy perverted Italian freak" Marshall said blackmailing Kazuya.
"Nice try, you think that story would scare me?" Kazuya showed defense.
"Fine, I got it on cam anyway" Marshall said as he waved the camera at Kazuya's face.
"Okay I'll do the freakin' dare!" Kazuya yelled.
"Don't be so mean to the Teletubbies, They ARE cute you know…" Anna said.
"Yeah when they're dead" Kazuya and Paul chorused as they laughed hysterically.
"What are Teletubbies?" Heihachi asked
"Father, you're too old to know that" Lee said as he laughed.
"On with the dare you guys!" Marshall said as he played the CD to the DVD player.
"Blackmailer" Kazuya mumbled, Marshall just laughed. The opening plays, it's a sing-a-long feature.
"Stinky Winky" Kazuya sang changing the lyrics.
"HEY! Sing it properly!" Marshall yelled.
He rewinds the CD from the start.
"Now you have to start over again!" Marshall yelled. Kazuya sighed.
"Okay, here goes" Marshall said as he played the CD back.
"Stinky Winky" Kazuya changed the lyrics again.
"Knock it off! I'm getting tired rewinding it" Marshall yelled.
Everyone laughed hysterically.
'This is getting good' Kazuya thought.
The song played again.
"Mona LEE sa, Nina, Anna, Paul. Heihachi, the bald and ugly, wears a thong" Kazuya completely changed the lyrics. (Teletubbies opening tune, He-he).
"What's with our names, Kazuya?" Paul asked.
"Nothing, just to fit it in my lyrics" Kazuya said.
Everyone laughed except Marshall.
"I never thought this would become entertaining" Nina said.
"Anyway, why wasn't Marshall in the lyrics?" Lee asked.
"He's the second voice" Kazuya said.
"Let's see your score…" Marshall said lazily.
Kazuya's score is 100.
Everyone's jaw dropped.
"How is it possible?" Marshall wondered.
"I guess I'm good" Kazuya said calmly. Everyone laughed.
"This is crazy, anyway, it's your turn to spin" Marshall said as he kept his CD.
Kazuya spins
'Father, father, father' Kazuya thought.
The bottle landed on Lee.
'Darn it, what a loss, anyway, Lee deserves my revenge' Kazuya thought
"Truth or dare" Kazuya asked. "Dare" said Lee,
"I dare you to go to Rafiki's house (Lion King) and draw some graffiti in his branch and sign 'You'll pay' on it.
I'm getting my revenge on that freaky baboon" Kazuya said irritated.
"Why?" Lee asked.
"It has something to do during our camping in Africa" Kazuya said.
Flashback…little Kazuya was sitting in a rock
"Darn it, I'm lost! Stupid father" Kazuya said as he gritted his teeth. A baboon went to him.
"Maybe I could help you" The baboon said. Kazuya was startled.
"AH! WHO ARE YOU?" Kazuya asked.
"The question is 'Where are you?' the baboon said.
"Lost, Happy now? And why am I talking to a baboon? Are you a mirage/" Kazuya said irritated.
"No not actually but to be able to return, you must 'Trace your Steps'" The baboon said.
"Trace my steps? What's that suppose to mean?" Kazuya asked confused.
"You follow Rafiki's words, you'll see" the baboon said as he left.
"Okay…I'll trace my footprints" Kazuya said looking for his footprints 'Darn it, they're gone!' Kazuya thought.
"Kazuya, lunch is ready" Little Lee said.
"Stop bothering me, I'm tracing my steps" Kazuya said.
Little Lee laughed.
"The camp is just behind this tree" Lee said as he chuckled.
Kazuya growled.
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS EVIL BABOON!" Kazuya yelled. End of flashback.
Everyone was holding back their laughter.
"So that's why you're tracing your steps" Lee said.
Heihachi laughed hysterically.
"Anyway, that's crazy" Lee said.
"I have two choices of dares. It's either strip or draw graffiti" Kazuya said.
"I'd like to see Lee become a stripper" Marshall said.
"Fine a dare is a dare!" Lee yelled.
"Who's Rafiki?" Anna asked.
"A Baboon who lives on a big tree beside a pride rock in Africa" Kazuya said.
"Africa? You mean I need to go to Africa!" Lee asked.
"What do you expect? He lives next door? Don't worry our author here placed a teleport machine in this room" Kazuya said.
"Kazuya, isn't it too much? It's not his fault you take things literally" Lee said.
"Shut up or I'll change my dare!" Kazuya said. Lee just nodded and went to the teleport machine.
"I'll go with him" Marshall said as he followed Lee.
"Since when did Rafiki exist?" Paul asked
"The day 'The Lion King' was released" Kazuya said.
Paul sweat dropped.
"Man, maybe you hit your head in the truck" Paul said,
"Hey, FANFICTION, get it?" Kazuya said.
"I get Fiction but this is reality!" Paul said. "Whatever…" Kazuya said.
In Africa…
"Where is the tree Kazuya's talking about?" Lee asked Marshall who seems to be enjoying Africa.
"There are lots of trees here" Marshall said.
Lee looked around until he saw a gigantic grotesque-like tree (no offense, it looked grotesque).
"That must be it" Lee said as he and Marshall climbed in it.
"No one's here" Marshall said. Lee looked at the drawings, there's a lion cub drawn in it.
"Man, now I've seen everything" Marshall said as he got it on cam.
Lee drew a stick-like figure beside the cub and signed
'You'll pay, a Mishima is watching you' Lee wrote.
Just then, Rafiki entered.
"Who are you? Who told you to draw on Rafiki's house?" Rafiki yelled.
"Now I believe that humans came also from monkeys…RUN! I BELIEVE YOU CHARLES DARWIN!" Lee yelled as he ran away.
"It's a dare" Marshall said as he ran with Lee.
"You get back here!" Rafiki yelled. Marshall's camera is still on while dangling in his neck.
Their running scene is caught on cam (like Blair Witch Project).
They reached a river. As they saw their reflection, Marshall and Lee saw their father's faces (like in Lion King where Simba saw Mufasa's face in the pond)
"That's not my reflection!" Lee and Marshall yelled as they ran away to the teleport machine.
In the hotel, Kazuya and the others are playing cards. Lee and Marshall arrived.
"That….was weird…First there was a grotesque tree then a scary baboon then a pond that shows you a different reflection" Lee said.
Marshall noticed his camera was on. "Oh, I forgot to turn it off" Marshall said as he saved the clip and gave the cam to Kazuya.
"Watch it" Marshall said.
Everyone gathered around Kazuya to watch the film.
"I could've sworn I saw my father's reflection in that pond" Marshall said.
"But who did I saw, I never knew the man I saw in the pond, It wasn't Heihachi either" Lee wondered.
Lee suddenly received a hard blow in his head.
"WHAT DID I DO NOW!" Lee asked
"I only told you to write 'You'll Pay'!" Kazuya yelled.
"Hey, Father wants to cut that tree during our camping you know" Lee said. Everyone laughed hysterically.
"Is it me or that monkey talks!" Paul said as he laughed.
"Is this a special effect or you saw the Blair witch project's director?" Nina said.
"Who's reflection did you saw, Lee?" Kazuya asked.
Everyone looked at Heihachi.
"It doesn't look like Heihachi" Anna said. "It looks like the Italian guy inside the train" Marshall said.
"It means you're not my real father? NO!" Lee yelled.
"Shut up, everyone knows you're adopted" Kazuya said.
"Oh, anyway, my turn to spin" Lee said as he returned to his normal state.
Lee spins and lands on Anna.
"Hey, let's check if the guy is all right now" Anna said as she stood up.
"You're not going anywhere…The game has just begun…." Lee said as he laughed evilly.
"What will happen next? How long will they be playing? I'll update soon
Me: That was okay
Kazuya: throw that Teletubbies CD
Lee: NO!
Lee: Anyway, who's the man I saw?
Paul: Fan Cannibals?
Nina: you don't see that everyday…
Anna: Lee must be possessed
Heihachi: I'm so famous. Everybody want an autograph?
Everyone: YUCK!
Marshall: I'm better than you Spielberg!
S. Spielberg: In your dreams
Rafiki: Mishima? What's a Mishima?
Me: Maybe something's happening here that I should become aware of. See you soon. Adios