Story: On My Honor
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: Ellie and Angela found their way to their campsite with the help of another troop; Jed realized his role as Ellie's father would have to be separate from his role as her troop leader
Summary: During a late-night talk, Abbey sees a different side of Leo - one that concerns her
Abbey quietly crept down the stairs. Her hand glided along the wooden banister and curved slightly when she hit the bottom landing and noticed the light in the kitchen. As she approached, she tugged at her waist to tighten her robe around the red satin pajama top and bottom set she wore underneath.
"Leo?" Surprised, she stopped briefly after poking her head around the entrance.
A startled Leo looked at her from his seat at the round oak table in front of the windows. In his hand, he held a glass of Scotch and repeatedly shook it in his palm. "Did I wake you?"
"No. I couldn't sleep so I came down for some warm milk. Why are you up?"
"Same," he replied. "The couldn't sleep part. Not the warm milk."
She took note of his drink as she reached for a pan and retrieved a carton of milk from the fridge. "How many of those have you had?"
"It's my second one." And with that obvious lie, he changed the subject. "How are you feeling?"
"Not too bad. The itchiness has pretty much gone away. I'm just waiting for all the blisters to heal so I can go on with my life without spreading it to my patients and my two youngest daughters."
"Any idea what time Jed and Ellie get back tomorrow?"
"No, but it'll probably be late-morning. These camping trips generally end first thing Sunday."
"I don't know much about it. When Mal was in Scouts, Jenny went with her once and, unfortunately, I was working when they got home."
"Working on Sunday?"
"On Sunday," he confirmed.
"I didn't know Mallory was in Scouts. You guys never mentioned it."
"It didn't last long. She did it three years ago when she was 5, for about two months. She was a..." his failed attempt to search for the name finally ended with, "...a Dew Drop or something."
"A Daisy, Leo. She was a Daisy. That's the level before Brownies." Abbey initially laughed, but she had to admit she was grateful that Jed was more involved in his daughters' activities than Leo appeared to be.
"I told you I don't know much about it," He repeated. "Just one of my many flaws."
Every time she turned her head in his direction, Abbey stared at the half-empty bottle sitting beside him. She couldn't bring herself to broach the subject directly. "I want to thank you, again, for flying out to stay with me while Jed was gone. I know I'm not the world's best patient."
"Eh, you're a doctor. I expected it." He flashed her that famous McGarry grin.
"I will dismiss that response and assume that crack was the result of the late hour and that you would never make a stereotypical and, by the way, false accusation towards those in my profession because I know that you know that the shyster jokes are just on the tip of my tongue."
"Duly noted," Leo said with a chuckle. "My apologies."
"Seriously, though, I don't think Lizzie could have handled me by herself."
"Are you kidding? She and I could barely handle you between the two of us. Several times I was tempted to tape your wrists together to stop you from scratching."
"You would have really had a fight then," Abbey grumbled, returning the pan to the stove after pouring the contents into her mug. She stepped towards the table and took a seat across from Leo. "You like it here, don't you? You feel comfortable?"
He nodded. "Of course."
"We love having you. Last year, when you, Jenny, and Mallory came to visit, we told you to make yourself at home. I told you that again this time."
"Yeah." Leo tried to follow her train of thought, though suspicious of where she was headed.
"So why don't you?"
"Why don't I what?"
"I told you to help yourself to the liquor cabinet and the wine cellar if you wanted a drink. You never once asked me for the key to either one."
"I'm fine, Abbey."
She leaned in towards him, following his gaze to the bottle of Scotch. "I suspect you bought that when you stepped out a little while ago. It's half empty. So, I'm asking again. How many of those have you had?"
Their eyes met and in one, chilly second, Abbey realized she had asked a question Leo was unwilling to answer. She wrapped her hands around her mug, her fingers barely meeting at the tips. Leo squirmed around uncomfortably as he inhaled a deep breath and curled his bottom lip.
"So," he finally said. "Did Jenny call you?"
Abbey shook her head. "What's going on, Leo?"
"Same old fight. I'm spending too much at the office, she says. I try to tell her that I'm doing the best I can. Even after all these years, I'm still building my practice. It's hard work. It's time-consuming. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of understanding on her part, but all she wants to focus on is that I'm not home in time for dinner."
It was a familiar scenario. "There were times when I thought Jed and I would never make it through my residency for exactly the same reason."
"How did he adapt?"
"I don't think he has really. We still argue about it from time to time. But I know where he's coming from and he knows there's no other place I'd rather be than home with him and the girls. So, we generally make up after a few minutes of bickering and we wait for the next time I get called in or the next time I end up working an extra shift we hadn't planned for."
"It doesn't seem to be working for me and Jenny."
"What's happening right now?"
"Nothing. When I left, she drove me to the airport, kissed me goodbye, and that was that." Yet another lie. "But I know we'll just repeat the cycle when I get home."
"You want me to talk to her?" Abbey had no doubt that Jenny would help her decipher the riddles and get to the root of the problem.
"NO!" Leo snapped. "No, that would do more harm than good. I'm only telling you to explain why tonight, I needed this." He raised his glass, the clinking ice cubes watering his mouth as he offered his weak excuse.
"Is it just tonight? I remember when Jenny was pregnant with Mal, she went to Jed because she thought you might have a problem."
"She was wrong. I told Jed that. I rarely drink, Abbey and when I do, I don't get drunk. In fact, before tonight, I hadn't had a glass of Scotch or anything else in two months. Every now and then, the stress gets to me so I indulge in a glass or two to relax. It's my warm milk."
Abbey's eyes glossed over her own drink and after several minutes of silence between them, she looked back up with a reassuring smile. "If you decide that you want me to talk to Jenny..."
"I don't think so, but thank you." He couldn't allow her to talk to Jenny because Jenny knew the truth, a truth that Leo had yet to admit.
He hated himself for that. Lies to himself were one thing. Lies to a friend were quite another. Long nights, like this one, usually opened a floodgate of regret for Leo. He'd toss and turn in bed, his thoughts dominated by his lies. He had become so good at lying. Excuses born out of anxiety rarely convinced other people, but it never changed because his denial wasn't only to others.
He had mastered this persona long ago - the ambitious husband struggling with the time constraints of a demanding career while fighting to keep a peaceful balance in his fractured marriage. He knew it would bring him more sympathy than suspicion, especially from someone like Abbey. Perhaps if he was sober, he'd have had a harder time leading her down the deceptive path, but in his drunken state, Leo's darker angels had already won the battle with his conscience.
What he overlooked was the fact that she wasn't as gullible as his other inquisitors. His feeble explanation might have convinced them, but not Abbey. She sat back in her chair and examined his body language, his lack of eye contact since the initial probe, his shrinking stature, and the quivering lips every time he pressed his glass to his mouth. He could protest if he wanted to, but she wasn't buying it just because he did.
"That's a standing offer," she said. "Calling Jenny. It might help."
Once again, he avoided her intruding stare. "Can we not talk about Jenny tonight? I'll deal with all of that when I get back home. But tonight..." He picked up the stack of cards beside him and shuffled them in his hands.
Abbey cleared her place at the table and fetched the cards just as quickly as he dealt them. If this was how he wanted to pass the time, she would oblige. At least, until she was sure he was sober and thinking clearly. "Let's go."
Several hours and three separate card games later, the pair sat in a silent face-off. Abbey's eyes peeked over the top of five cards fanned appropriately over her mouth and nose. Leo's vision blurred as he squinted to get a decent read, but her ambiguous orbs didn't provide even a subtle hint about her next move. Finally, the side of her face crinkled slightly and he realized she was donning a superior smile.
Behind her veil of cards, she muttered, "Go fish."
"I can't believe this is how we're spending our Saturday night." He reached into the pile for yet another card.
"We're out of options. There are only so many games you can play with two people and we've played them. Just be thankful I didn't feel this well last night. I would have made you watch Dallas with me."
"Good luck with that," he snickered.
"I get Jed to watch with me every week. He never complains."
"He does NOT watch that show."
"Sure he does. I pretty sure he even likes it. I lost twenty bucks to him last year over who shot J.R. Ask him about it."
Leo shook his head in disbelief, but seconds later, he was overcome by a warmer, gentler feeling that abruptly transformed his expression. "You do that a lot? Watch TV together?"
"Well, it's not easy. It's actually quite difficult. My work schedule, his work schedule, PTA meetings, shuttling the kids around, and, of course, when the legislative session starts, all the time he spends in Concord makes it nearly impossible to sit down and enjoy some quality time together...but we try."
"Often?"
"As often as we can. I love cuddling up with him on the sofa or in our bed doing something as simple as watching television or reading together. Just knowing his warm body is there next to mine, his hand caressing my arm or my shoulder, it makes me feel safe. It makes me feel loved."
Suddenly, a wave of remorse washed over him as he thought about all the nights Jenny had been waiting up, probably with hopes of doing similar things. It didn't have to be a grand romantic gesture, but the simple things that Abbey mentioned would have meant the world to Jenny.
"You think Jenny would appreciate it as much as you do...just a quiet evening at home?"
"I think Jenny would appreciate anything that allows her to see you for more than five minutes at a time. Mallory too."
"I always assume she wants something big, that a night together has to entail dinner and dancing, the whole nine yards in order to make her happy."
"Jenny's never told me this, but I would bet that she just wants you. Some of my best memories of quality time between Jed and myself are times that we hadn't even planned - cooking dinner together in the kitchen because one or both of us had to work late, or reading the paper over morning coffee after sending Liz and Ellie off to school. Does Jenny even see you in the mornings?"
"Not often."
"Leo."
"I know."
The hours passed quicker as they settled on an agreeable topic of conversation. Thinking of solutions to his marital troubles was much easier than dwelling on the problem itself.
Soon, the seconds that ticked loudly on the seven-foot Grandfather Clock in an adjacent room faded behind the echoing sound of laughter. Two old friends teasing each other as they reminisced about the past and joked about the future. By morning light, Leo and Abbey had fallen asleep at that round oak table. Leo leaned back against his chair, his head falling to the side while Abbey buried her face in an inviting cocoon shaped by her arms. So exhausted, neither even heard Lizzie bound down the steps.
The teenager grabbed her basketball and headed outside. Dribbling as she approached the tall hoop Jed had bought for the end of the driveway in preparation for junior high tryouts, she stopped when she saw her father's car peak the top of the hill.
"Well?" he shouted through his open window. "Show me what you got!"
Lizzie gave him a confident grin, then fired the ball. It rolled around the rim before bouncing off to the side. "Darn!"
"It's okay, you'll get it." Jed pulled into the driveway, parked, and helped Ellie out of the car.
"I already got it!" Liz protested. "That's why I went to basketball camp. I just keep missing now and then."
"We'll work on it. You won't miss during tryouts." Jed pulled his oldest daughter into a hug, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "How's your mom?"
"She was okay yesterday. She and Uncle Leo are still asleep at the kitchen table."
"Lizzie, I'm getting my Hiking Badge and Daddy's going to help us get our Space Exploration Badge!" Ellie interjected.
"That's great, El," she replied.
"The kitchen table?" Jed asked.
"Yeah. I think they were playing cards or something."
He left the girls and carried his bag, as well as Ellie's, inside the house. He didn't call out to them. Instead, he tiptoed into the kitchen, beaming with a smirk as he took in the sight of the cards sprawled out below Leo's hands. He removed Abbey's abandoned mug and Leo's Scotch glass, placing them next to the sink. The nearly empty bottle screamed for his attention, but he barely had time to inspect it when Leo began to stir.
"Jed?" He swiped the cobwebs from his eyes as he sat up, awake and alert.
"Looks like you two had quite a night." Jed ditched the bottle in the trash.
"We barely slept. We were up until at least six."
"Abbey feeling okay?"
"Seems to be."
Jed stood behind his wife and leaned forward to whisper into her ear. "Good morning, Love."
"Mmmm?" Abbey slowly shifted.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in bed?" he prodded as he attempted to help her up. Glued to her seat, Abbey resisted.
"What time is it?"
"It's after 10, Sleeping Beauty." He pressed his lips to her cheek, provoking a smile as she returned his kiss.
"I missed you. Where's Ellie?"
"She's outside with Lizzie, telling her all about camping trip. I'm going to go get Zoey from your mom's." He turned his attention to Leo. "You wanna ride along?"
"Sure!"
Abbey sleepily raised her head, surprised that Leo was so jubilant and perky. "Aren't you tired?"
"I'm used to four hours of sleep a night," Leo responded.
"Well so am I, but when I'm not at the hospital, I'd prefer more."
"I'm functioning just fine."
And he was. He leapt to his feet to get ready with such energy that it immediately gave Abbey pause. Leo's eyes weren't red, his head wasn't spinning, and he never even felt queasy, much less ill from his drinking. Against her assumptions, he was functioning as well as a normal person would - a normal person who hadn't consumed almost an entire bottle of Scotch the night before.
She watched him carefully as he brushed by Jed and headed up to the shower. She figured that Jed didn't know, that he didn't smell the alcohol on Leo's breath, that Leo had probably gotten rid of the bottle before he returned.
But Jed did know. He hadn't missed the clues. He just hadn't acknowledged them yet.
TBC