Teen Titans meet... HARRY POTTER: Season 2

Chapter 5

In Charms Class

"Okay class, lets do the Hokey Pokey," said Mumbo Jumbo.

The whole class did the Hokey Pokey.

"So now that Cedric is alive," said Turk.

"Yes?" asked Starfire.

"We should commit mass suicide," said Turk.

"Cool," said Starfire. Having no idea what Turk said.

"MUMBO JUMBO!! ABRA KADABRA!" screamed Mumbo, as a chair did the chair dance.

"Ooh," said the class.

"You get to learn this... in the next class. Now for homework, you must work on your Hokey Pokey charms. Bye bye," said Mumbo Jumbo. The class then left the room.

In DADA Class

"Welcome back to a whole new fucking year, bitches," said Umbridge. "Today. We're going to..."

"Yes?" asked Hermione.

"Kill Hermione," said Umbridge.

Hermione left the room in a hurry. Ron followed her.

"Now that those bitches are out of here... we're going to..."

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Dammit, I didn't plan a lesson. Oh well. You bitches better read your books," said Umbridge.

Cyborg burped.

"... Don't burp, you stupid turd," said Umbridge.

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"You have detention Raven for raising your eyebrow... TWICE," said Umbridge.

"..." Raven sighed.

Harry scribbled scrabbled in his book.

"Oh shit," said Terra. She left the room.

"Where the fuck are you going?" asked Umbridge.

"TO THE BATHROOM!" screamed Terra. She grabbed a tampon.

"No wonder why Terra's always running away," said Robin.

"Robin, Harry, and Terra have detention," said Umbridge.

"Why?" asked Robin.

"Robin, because you're talking. Harry, because you're not reading. Terra, because she had a tampon on for more than 4 hours," said Umbridge.

"YOU TOLD HER BEAST BOY! YOU BITCH!!" screamed Terra, as she went back into the bathroom.

"But my love belongs to Raven," said Beast Boy.

"BUT MY LOVE. BELONGS TO HARRY!" screamed Raven.

"GOD DAMMIT. YOU ALL HAVE DETENTION YOU FUCKING ASS CRACKS!!! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU FUCKERS ALL. FUCK YOU ALL!! FUCK YOU ALL. CLASS FUCKING DISMISS GOD DAMMIT!" screamed Umbridge, she went into her office, and slammed the door so hard it broke down.

The class then left.

So at Potions

"Turn to page... three hundred, and ninety four," said Snape.

Hermione raised her hand.

"Yes, Ms. Ronfuckedme?" asked Snape.

"You don't say 'and' while saying a number," said Hermione.

"Whatever," said Snape. "And detention... Ms. Granger."

In Transfiguration

"Today... you'll learn how to switch genders," said Minerva.

The class gasped.

"First, aim your wand at your private place," said Minerva. "Tap it 6 times. If you have a vagina, say 'Wang'd', if you have a wang, say 'Vagina'd'. Hopefully, you'll switch genders. It's a tad painful... but, go ahead," said Minerva. She then turned into a guy. And then turned back.

"Um... I can already switch genders," said Beast Boy. He then grew boobs, and had long green hair.

"But you have to learn how to cast the spell. So that if you're fighting an evil bitch, you can make her have a wang. And then you can kick it's balls, and kill her," said Minerva.

"Okay," said Beast Boy.

So they all switched genders, and then switched back.

"You are officially, 'it's'. Class dismissed," said Minerva. The class then left.

So out in the halls

"Just three more periods, and the school day's over!" exclaimed Robin. He yawned.

"Tell me about it, I didn't get much sleep," said Raven.

"What happened?" asked Robin.

"Beast Boy got drunk. And went into our common room... it was very disturbing last night," said Raven. She walked off.

"..." Robin sighed.

"I'm going to tell Minerva," said Draco. As he walked to him. Robin then punched his head.

"Bitch," said Robin.

"You deserve detention!" exclaimed Draco.

"Bring it on. Sissy brit' boy," said Robin. He got into a Kun fu stance.

Mad Mod came into the hall, and used his cane to make a chair for him. He then made an illusion like place in the hall.

"Ooh..." said the crowd.

"GO ROBBIE POO!" screamed Kitten.

"You selfish little bitch," said Starfire. She changed Kitten's vagina into a wang, and kicked Kitten's wang.

"OH NOOO!" screamed Kitten, it then died.

"GO ROBIN!!" cheered Starfire. She then was in chibi form.

"DRACO! DRACO!" cheered Pansy in chibi form. Starfire and Pansy started to fight... chibi style.

"Ooh la la," said Nikki.

Robin punched Draco as if he was high. Draco was hit as if he was drunk.

"Crucio, hippy," said Draco. Robin dodged the spell.

"I'm going to use my magic!! YOU'RE UNDA ARREST CARDIAC!!!" screamed Robin.

"WHAT THE FUCK???" screamed the crowd.

Cardiac and that alien machine thingie from 'Sisters' that tried to kidnap Star... started having machine sex.

"... Um... wow," said Mad Mod.

"Sick bastards," said Hillary Duff. She disappeared.

"...Wow," said the crowd.

"KILL THE BEAST!!" screamed Raven. She raised a pitchfork. "Kill Hillary Duff!!"

"Oh fuck," said Umbridge. She kicked Mad Mod's balls, and the illusion disappears.

"You bitches bring in Hillary Duff fighting. AND I WILL FUCKING EITHER... SLICE YOUR BALLS OFF. OR SLICE YOUR BREASTS OFF!! GOOD BYE!" screamed Umbridge.

So at History class

"AIDS started in Hogwarts. You see, a girl was having her period. Then, she decided to have sex. She forgot she had her period, for she took the pill to not feel it. Then, blood was on the wang of the man she loved, and AIDS started," said the teacher.

Hermione glared at Nikki.

"Not funny. Not funny at all. My grandma died from aids, you idiotic bitch," said Hermione.

So in... Divination... for two periods.

"Look into 'da future," said PT. "Now that we have hot meditation skills... we must study the ways of the... hippy."

"I HATE HIPPIES," screamed Draco.

"Who gives a shit?" asked PT.

"Loko Laka Basa!!" exclaimed Draco.

"That bitch! He said 'crazy in the head' in Spanish," said Starfire.

"YOU KNOW SPANISH???" asked PT.

"No. That's the only words I know," said Starfire.

"Probably got it from... Pimp Masta' Bush. BUSH!! BUSH BUSH!!" screamed Pansy. She laughed like hell.

"Detention, bitch," said PT.

Pansy mooned PT.

"Oooh," said the crowd.

"You lesbian! DETENTION!" screamed PT.

"HOLY SHIT!!" screamed Cho.

"God dammit! The ways of the hippy is so damn worse than detention, you're learning it," said PT.

"You bitch!" shouted Draco.

"Leave my class you whore," said PT.

"HELL YEAH!!" screamed Draco. "PARTY IN THE SHRIEKING SHACK WIGGA'S!!!"

"GOD DAMMIT DRACO!!" screamed Cyborg, he fired the sonic cannon 10 times at him.

"Whatever. Gaybot," said Draco. He left the room.

Utter silence.

"Where's Sora?" asked Jinx.

"... Go download Deep Dive Jinx," said PT. "Fuck this. CLASS DISMISS!"

So in Health Class (In the Hospital Wing)

The nurse jiggled her boobs with her hand.

"Oooh..." said the men.

"I hate boys," said Raven.

"You see. I shall teach you about human reproduction. Vagina. Penise," said Nurse.

The class laughed like hell.

"You got that from South Park, right Nikki?" asked Hermione, as Nikki was in the room for no reason.

"...Um... yeah," said Nikki.

"I shall now give you guys... the talk. Get ready to copy down things," said the nurse.

So after Health Class

"Holy crap," said Starfire. "...SEX IS AMUSING LET'S DO IT ROBIN!"

"o.O Okay Starfire," said Robin. He raised an eyebrow, and left with Starfire to the Forbidden Forest.

"...They're doing it in a forest?" asked Hermione. "Sick."

"How dirty!" said Ron.

End of Chapter 5

...I'm so sorry if the AIDS thing offended you...