Author's Note: THIS STORY HAS TO BE DONE BY DECEMBER. IT'S BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED THE SECOND SEASON! Why is it in capslock? Because it's good news.

Chapter 14

Snape walked into the Hogwart's ground, looking at the lake that behold him. Today was the day, the day he would leave Hogwarts.

"Fucking finally," Snape said cheerfully.

"FUCKING FINALLY MY ASS!" screamed Dumbledore as he bitched slapped Snape. "Take that, bitch!"

"Shut the hell up you ass monk!" cried Snape as he bitch slapped Dumbledore back.

"ASS MONK? YOU TRIED TO GET IT ON WITH ME LAST YEAR!" cried Dumbledore as he punched Snape so hard he fell down.

"It was Cyborg's fault!" cried Snape as he farted on Dumbledore.

"CYBORG SUCKS!" cried Dumbledore as he kicked Snape in the balls.

Just then. Cyborg barged out of the castle doors and fired his sonic canon at Dumbledore, which made him fall on the stairs and die.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Harry as he watched the whole thing happen.

Snape got up, and walked backwards.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU BITCH!" cried Harry as he charged at Snape.

"No, bitch!" cried Snape as Harry bitch slapped Snape, knocking him near the lake where a giant squid was behind him.

Raven watched this with interest.

Harry pointed his wang- I mean, wand at Snape.

"Any last words o' hateful son of a bitch I hate. I JUST FUCKING HATE SO GOD. DAMN. MUCH!" screamed Harry.

"Harry... I am your father," said Snape.

"That's impossible!" cried Harry.

"You know it to be true!" cried Snape as he got up and placed his hands on his so called son.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Harry in pure denial eating his heart through the inside out. Damn, that was descriptive.

"Want me to explain the whole damn thing?" asked Snape.

"Go ahead... my bastard father," said Harry.

Raven folded her arms and watched as Snape pulled out a pensieve.

BACK TO THE DAYS OF SNAPE'S HOGWARTS DAYS!

Snape looked at the lake, leaning on the tree. He was very bored, of course. Until... he saw James and his friends. THE MARUDERS! I think that's how you spell it... oh I'll correct it when I'm done with the series.

"Hey big fat ugly bitch with a crappy nose!" exclaimed James, Sirius laughed like the crazy ass dog he is. Remus was on the ground, crying of laughter. Peter, like the dork he is gigglesnorted.

"OH YEAH? Well Peter gigglesnorted!" cried Snape.

"Peter, you wack," said James.

"Yeah, you wack man," said Sirius as he blasted rap music from his enchanted boom box.

Remus then started singing along with the song.

"SKANKY WHORES BEHIND MAH PIMPIN' ASS! THOSE SKANKY WHORES LOVE MAH MAGIC WANG! MAGIC WANG! YEEEAAAHHHH! SKANKY WHORES!" Remus cried.

Just then, a group of girls decided right then and now to have a crazy 7th year party which everyone was invited to.

There were beer, wine, and drugs everywhere. It was a crazy ass party, even teachers were there partying like the shit.

But then, Snape bumped into Lily, who was very sexy.

"Hey sexy," said Snape.

"Your big hooked nose is teh shit, Snape! LET US HAVE HOT SEX!" cried Lily, her breath smelled of beer.

"I want to join," said James as he gave a grin.

"I love you James," said Snape. The three of them then had hot kinky three way sex which both of them well er... unleashed sperm in Lily. Twice.

VIVA LA END

"You mean to fucking tell me I'm a child that came from drunken passion?" asked Harry.

"YES! BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT SON!" cried Snape.

"Yeah, but I might be James's sperm!" cried Harry.

"Yeah but I came in her first," said Snape.

"YOU SURE YOU WEREN'T DRUNK? BITCH?" asked Harry.

"Don't talk to your father that way!" cried Snape.

"But if I'm your son then why is it that you treated me like shit these past few years?" asked Harry.

"Because I thought you were James's sperm, and you looked like him," said Snape.

"Then I must be his son because I look like him," said Harry.

"But. We have something in common," said Snape. "You won't like it."

"TELL ME!" cried Harry as he danced like a gorrilla.

"I find Raven hot, and you find her hot and have hot sex with her a lot," said Snape.

"Shit! You're right!" cried Harry.

Raven nervously looked at Snape, and started to back away.

"I DIDN'T HEAR THAT!" Raven screamed as a tree exploded.

"So that, is why you can't kill me," said Snape.

"OH FUCK THIS! RAVEN IS MINE BITCH!" screamed Harry. "Avada Kedavara!"

Snape then fell down onto the ground, dead.

Just then Blood barged into the grounds, crying.

"SNAAAPE!" Blood cried as he went over to the dead professor's body. "Snape! Be alive my fellow vagina ranger!"

Blood started crying.

"We got drunk... we protected the vagina. WE SOLD CONDOMS MAN!" cried Blood.

"Blood, he's dead," said Raven.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" sobbed Blood.

Just then, Brother Blood (from the comics and the cartoon, not our original fellow that's crying over Snape) appeared behind Blood.

"My protege, I am possesing this crazy old 'foo," said Brother Blood in the voice of Snape.

"SNAPE!" cried Blood as he looked at Brother Blood.

"Listen. You must sell condoms to everyone, and have wild hot kinky sex with your sister, Raven. Incest is the way to go, my fellow vagina ranger. And remember, respect and love the vagina. Oh, and have hot wild kinky BANGING CRAZY ASS FUCKING SEX WITH MAH GIRL UMBRIDGE. She is awesome at sex, and her cleavage is lovable, even I want it," said Snape. "Farewell my protege."

Brother Blood and Snape's voice faded away.

"I WILL DO AS YOU SAY SNAPE!" cried Blood.

Just then, Raven was running like hell back to the castle.

"But first we must destory the death eaters!" cried Blood. "VAGINA RANGERS TO THE RESCUE!"

Blood then got naked and started firing at the dementors and death eaters inside the castle.

End of Chapter 14