Chapter 2

At A Loss

When he finally woke, it was slow. He was alive, but could hardly move. The pain in his side redoubled as he made the attempt. He finally managed to pry his eyes open, and discovered that he was no longer on Arien in his friend's arms. Then he realized that someone was there, watching him. He looked strangely familiar in the dark room.

"Ada?" he asked groggily.

"Yes, my son. Estel, how do you feel?"

Aragorn sighed and groaned as he tried to move again his side was heavily bound with soft bandages and cloths. His ribs burned with pain. He held his breath and froze, willing the pain to stop. Elrond moved forward and gently forced him back into the bed.

"Don't try to move just yet. Those wounds need time to heal more."

Aragorn laid back down and relaxed under the soft quilts. It was wonderful to be back in his own bed. Elrond looked at him and smiled, but the man sensed that he was troubled about something. Then, he remembered, like a kick in the face.

"Where is he?" panic was in his voice, but there was fear in his eyes. He could hardly remember anything of the journey home, other than that he was sure Legolas had been injured in the fight.

Aragorn's sudden change of mood stopped his father, causing him to stare at him for a moment, but he knew whom his son was talking about.

"Ada . . . please . . ." His voice was no longer angry, but filled with fear. Elrond looked down for a moment, and then faced his son.

"He is unconscious. He had many untended wounds, and most were long since infected. He also lost a lot of blood from the ride here. We found that one or more of the blades he was cut with had been poisoned, and it has wearied him greatly. I've done all I can for him, but I cannot be sure . . ." he trailed off, having no need to finish the sentence.

Aragorn's hands covered his face.

"No…please, no…" he whispered. He did that for me! How can I repay him if he dies for me?

"Ada," he suddenly looked up at the elf lord with a look on his face often seen. "Does he have a chance?"

Elrond recognized the familiar glow of hope in the man's eyes, and smiled softly again. "There is always hope."

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Aragorn sat back in his chair and sighed fearfully. Nearly a week had passed since his long ride to Rivendell, and he had not yet woken. His eyes remained closed, while his face was sweat-streaked. His entire body was very cold to the touch. Legolas shuddered helplessly, tortured by some unknown cold.

As soon as Elrond would allow him to move, Aragorn went to see Legolas as much as his father would let him. For the first time Aragorn could see the real damage the elf had endured to keep his friend safe. Gashes covered his arms, upper torso, and back, some deep enough to reveal his ribs. Along his right thigh there was a long horrible mark that had been laid open to the bone. On the right side of his face, there was a long, but not dangerously deep cut that started at his forehead, moved down next to his hairline, in front of his ear, and ended at his chin. All had been well tended and thickly layered with clean bandages. Aragorn moved his chair closer to his friend's bedside and groped for his hand, pulling it close, and he noticed howcold it was. He put his head down on the quilt, placing his head between his arms, and squeezed Legolas' hand, trying to give his friend something to bring him back. Grimly he tried to watch over his friend, until moments later sleep finally reached out to claim him.

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Trapped.

He had been awake for a while, but could not even find the power to open his eyes. He felt frozen to the bone. He hated the weakness and vulnerability that had overtaken him. The pain was everywhere he could feel it as it became deep and harsh, so overpowering. He almost wished that it would end. But then, he felt something gently squeeze his hand.

Estel? he thought.

He could not make his mouth work. Yet even as he tried to speak, he felt strength flow through him from the gentle hand that held his own. Ever so slowly, he managed to crack open his eyes, and take in his surroundings.

The room was dark, except for a single light burning in the corner near him. His eyes fell on the dark shape next to him. He was asleep and had pulled Legolas' hand close to himself, clasping it tightly in his own. He was in a strange position; he wasn't wearing a shirt as it aggravated his injuries, so the thick bandages on his side were quite visible as Aragorn leaned on his right side to keep the pressure off his left. Legolas inwardly groaned when he saw it, still haunted with the thought that that injury was his fault. He closed his eyes again, and then, gathering what strength he had gained, he weakly squeezed his friend's hand back.

Aragorn jerked out of his sleep when he felt the pressure in his hands. Legolas had weakly grasped his fingers, and then let go. His eyes went to his friend's face, and watched as Legolas face began to spasm slightly. Sensing that he was waking up, Aragorn moved his chair closer and grasped his friend's arm.

"Legolas?" he looked at his friend's face, not daring to hope.

Legolas gulped, then nodded once, his face filled with pain.

"Legolas," Aragorn pulled his hand closer to him, brushing the fingers across his cheek. "Legolas, please . . . please open your eyes."

Legolas again willed the strength to do it again. He shook for a moment, then pried his eyelids open, looking into Aragorn's eyes, and smiled faintly.

Aragorn could not find the power to speak, pressing the inside of Legolas' hand against his cheek and covering it with his own, smiling in such relief.

"Thank the Valar you're all right my friend."

Legolas opened his mouth as if to speak, but Aragorn stopped him. "Tampa, dina esta. Na nefach, mellon nin. Na nefach . . . ea na qwiil. (Stop, stay silent. I am here, my friend. I am here . . . be at peace.)"

He watched Legolas' eyes slowly become unfocused, and he knew that he was asleep again, the way he should with his eyes open. Staying seated in the armchair he was in, he laid his head on the side of the bed. As he gently stroked his friend's hand in his own, he allowed himself to fall asleep, refusing to leave Legolas' side.

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Aragorn wanted to be there when Legolas woke again. After convincing his father, he never left his friend's bedside. His eyes remained open this time, and his face became more relaxed. Relief flooded through Aragorn, knowing his friend still had a chance.

Legolas woke that next night, not long after Elrond had checked on them for the umpteenth time. He was feeling much more alive energy had returned to him, but he was still very weak and incredibly cold. He found he could not stop shuddering never before had he felt more cold. Again opening his eyes was a relief, and the first person he saw was Aragorn. He sat back in his chair, working intently on a piece of paper.

"Aragorn?" the word was soft.

Aragorn jumped slightly at the sound. He looked at Legolas carefully, and gave his friend a small grin. He sat up and moved his chair closer to the head of the bed, placing the sheet of paper aside.

"How do you feel, my friend?"

Legolas tried to move, but very quickly found out the hard way that his body would not allow this without extreme pain. He held his breath, allowing the sharp pain to slowly pass.

"Legolas!" Aragorn nearly panicked as he watched Legolas' face cringe in pain. He didn't want to relive the past week.

"It's all right. Give me a moment." Legolas again relaxed in his bed, inwardly telling himself not to move like that unless he was helped up.

"Don't do that again!" Aragorn said, using a rather stern voice. Legolas sighed and the headache passed.

"Don't worry, I don't plan to. Can you help me sit up?" Aragorn moved closer and carefully helped his friend into a sitting position, and sat across from him on the bed.

"You're socold. Are you sure you're all right?" Aragorn picked up a blanket from the edge of the bed and wrapped it around the elf. Legolas shuddered hard and pulled the blanket closer.

"I'll be fine."

"I've heard that before." Legolas chose to ignore that one.

Now sitting up, the pain had reduced much, and Legolas eyed his friend carefully. "Aragorn, have you moved from that spot at all?"

"No, not really. I wanted to be here when you woke up. Besides, it was this or I'd be staring at my own wall. I was worried about you."

"Are you all right?" Aragorn smiled at the old question. He touched his left side carefully. He still wasn't wearing a shirt, so the whiteness of the thick padding was very visible still.

"I'll live. I don't think Ada is going to let either of us out of his sight for a while until we've healed more. You're going to be here for a while. You had him, and me, scared to death."

Legolas shut his eyes and looked down. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." Aragorn softly replied, but Legolas shook his head.

"No, it's not. This was all my fault. You got that injury because of me, it got worse because you helped me, you nearly died because I thought it would be better to put you in the hands of your father…" he trailed off, trying to keep his emotions under control. He turned his head away from Aragorn and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"Legolas, it was not your fault." Aragorn's voice was quiet, but there was the ring of finality in his tone that went deep. "It was an accident. I was in the fault too. If I hadn't provoked you in the first place, we both may have gotten the upper hand. Please, don't blame yourself. It was not your fault."

Aragorn reached out and touched Legolas' shoulder. Legolas turned back and looked at him, searching his eyes. In the darkened room those silver eyes glowed at him, begging him to listen. He felt himself calm searching the deeps of Aragorn's eyes. He could almost see the deep bond of friendship, hope, and trust reflecting inside its depths. He sighed, holding onto that power.

"I know, but that's how I feel about it." Aragorn smiled slightly

"We both seem to have that problem, blaming ourselves for things we cannot always control."

Legolas too smiled slightly at that. It was often proved true. He sighed heavily, and his entire body shook. Aragorn noticed and moved behind the prince, pulling him back so he leaned heavily against the other, and tried to keep him warmer. Legolas was immediately tense under his touch.

"Relax, mellon nin, eressern marvros na buioch. (My friend, I only want to help you.)" Aragorn softly began to sing, a song that had been sung much in the halls of his father, and one that was greatly loved by both of them. And Legolas slowly did relax, and eventually fell asleep, listening to Aragorn's quiet voice echo through the room.

Aragorn knew when Legolas had fallen asleep, but he didn't let go, rather repositioned him so that Legolas' head rested right under his chin, and pulled him close to his chest. He held him for a long time in that position, deep into the night. When Elrond came to check on him that's how he found them, Aragorn sitting cross-legged against the headboard with Legolas in his arms, peace filling the room. Elrond helped Aragorn lay Legolas back down. Still not wanting to leave him, Aragorn again sat in his chair with his head on the thick quilt, and allowed his mind to sink into unconsciousness.

But Legolas never did cease to shiver helplessly from the unknown cold.

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He didn't know how long he slept, but the next thing he knew Aragorn woke up as something icy cold touched his arm. He jerked out of his sleep and looked wildly around him, trying to find what was so cold that had touched him. He glanced around him, and felt the icy chill clutch his arm tightly again. He looked down and froze. Legolas had his hand on Aragorn's arm, slowly gripping harder. His hands were so cold, it took his breath away. Legolas' face was very pale, his lips were blue, and he was trembling hard. Aragorn immediately felt his friend's forehead and the sides of his face. They were freezing to the touch. Legolas' eyes were grazed over.

"Legolas? What's wrong? Are you all right?" Aragorn frantically tried to get him to react.

Legolas' face was filled with pain. His skin had a faint white tint to it. Aragorn no longer hesitated.

"ELROND! ADA NORO! (Father hurry!)"

Aragorn yelledfor his father. He didn't care if he woke everyone up; he was going to gethim in here!

He was quickly in motion. He began to check Legolas for vital signs of life. He found the prince's pulse weaker than he would like and very thready, but there. His skin was cold and clammy, and he had soaked his shirt with sweat. Not wanting him to do any damage to his injuries, he removed the shirt and wrapped him in a thick wool blanket. Sitting behind the prince he pulled him close to share his body warmth and keep him from getting any colder. Legolas was shuddering almost violently in his arms. He clenched his teeth to keep them from chattering and had squeezed his eyes shut. He moved closer to Aragorn and curled into a tight ball.

Why is he so cold? What happened?

Choking back the lump in his throat he tightened his hold on Legolas. Moments later his sharp ears heard the faint sounds of elven feet running down the hall to the room. Elrond burst into the room, followed by Elladan and Elrohir. All three of them looked panicked.

"What happened?" Elrond quickly moved toward the bed and scanned his foster son's eyes.

"Le-Le- . . . " Aragorn could barely say his own friend's name. But Elrond knew what he was talking about. Gently he took Legolas from Aragorn and began his inspections. Several minutes went by as he did much of what Aragorn had already done, but did more and discovered more. Confirming all the symptoms Legolas had shown, he turned and faced Aragorn again.

"It looks like it could be an after-affect of the Morgul poisoning," he said, shifting the prince's weight in his arms, and checking the prince's pulse again. "Since he had been infected for over two days it hit harder than what is normal. This form of an after affect is not very common, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I'll be honest with you, Estel, I'm amazed that he made it this far this well . . ."

Aragorn was silent. He didn't know what to say. He watched as his father took the prince's pulse again. Legolas was still shuddering violently, but calmed slightly as Elrond began to softly talk to him in elvish. As he moved Legolas' head to adjust one of his bandages, he noticed something. He placed Legolas' head in one hand and moved the elf's long blond hair aside, revealing a very small, almost insignificant thorn imbedded in the skin, right inside the hairline. He looked at it carefully, and gently removed it. The thorn was no more than half an inch long and was almost thinner than parchment. It was a dark brown, and very straight and hard, despite the fact that it had almost no volume at all.

"Elladan." Elrond did not glance up, keeping his eyes on the thorn. Elladan moved from his spot on the floor he had occupied for the past several minutes and moved closer to the bed, stopping at his father's feet.

"Yes, Ada?"

"Please take this and test it for any poison traces. Be careful not to touch this end." He said, pointing at the end that had come out of the skin. Elladan, who was well taught in his father's healing arts and poison knowledge, carefully took the thorn and left the room.

When he had gone, Elrond turned to the other twin. "Elrohir, please come here and take the prince. I need to take care of Estel."

Elrohir too moved to the bed, sat down, and took the shuddering prince from his father's arms and wrapped him in his own. Aragorn looked questioningly at Elrond. What is wrong with me?

He soon found out. Elrond moved toward him and lifted his arm revealing his injured side. Blood was slowly blossoming through the thick padding. Shaking his head he made Aragorn lay down on the bed so that he could tend to the reopened wounds. Most had healed, but a few of the deeper gashes weren't completely closed yet. When Aragorn had jumped to get the blankets for Legolas several minutes ago, he had popped some of the stitches in his side, reopening the deeper tears and allowing them to bleed again. Elrond re-stitched the wounds and left for a few minutes to get new bandages, as the old ones had been soaked through and were now useless.

When Elrond left Aragorn glanced at Elrohir. Elrohir had wrapped his arms around the prince and held him close to keep him from getting any more chill. Legolas was still very frigid. Elrohir glanced back at Aragorn and gave him a small grin, trying to encourage his brother.

"Tithen muindor, ea benifred. (Little brother, be without fear.)" Aragorn smiled slightly and sighed, looking at the chilled, pale expression on Legolas' face.

"Iston. (I know.) But I'm going to keep worrying until he's all right."

As if on queue, Elladan walked back into the room. Both Aragorn and Elrohir looked at him curiously, but Elladan didn't say anything as he quickly scanned the room and found out that Elrond was not there.

"Where is Ada?" he asked, but his voice sounded strange. Elrohir opened his mouth to reply, but had no need. Elrond walked through the door with his arms full of fresh padding, and headed to Aragorn to commence rebinding his side. Elladan followed, but didn't say anything as he watched Elrond apply the padding and secure it in place.

When he had finished he helped Aragorn into a sitting position, and looked at his oldest. Elladan tried to look at him back, but soon had to look down. Elrond moved forward and put his fingers under Elladan's chin and tipped it up, forcing him to look at him.

"What did you find?" Elrond asked, although by his son's actions he didn't really need to ask. Elladan shut his eyes and inhaled deeply, fear and worry in his breath. He faced his father.

"It was poisoned." His voice was shaky. He glanced at Aragorn, who stared back at him. Aragorn sat stone still, unable to react in any way. Elladan's face was filled with pain and apology. Elrond watched the exchange, and then prodded his son to continue. Elladan then continued to tell his father about what he had found, but his voice had no life in it and Aragorn could tell he wasn't finished yet. There was something else. Something worse. And it didn't take long to find out what.

When Elrond asked him what kind of poison was in the thorn, Elladan froze. He couldn't hold it off any longer, his time was up. He glanced at Aragorn before responding, and then looked at the ground.

"I don't know. I don't recognize the poison."

He had said it, and now watched painfully at the affect of his words. Aragorn froze could only stare at the wall in stunned silence. Elrohir too did not move. Elrond glanced at the older twin, his face almost expressionless, but no one could mistake what he really thought. He had no reason to not believe his son. Elladan knew as much about poisons as he did. If Elladan didn't know, there was little chance that he did.

"I am sorry." Elladan looked away from his younger brother and stared at the wall, not believing what he had just found out to be true.

Aragorn couldn't move. On his face was a completely closed expression; so grim it was hard to look at. Elrohir read the hidden fear for a moment as he watched him. He then gently picked up the nearly unresponsive, shuddering prince in his arms, and moved over to where Aragorn was. Aragorn didn't even react until Elrohir was right next to him, when he stiffly moved to take Legolas in his own arms. He tightly held the prince, but the lost, one-sided expression did not leave. Legolas continued to violently shiver against him, and Aragorn could only bow his head over the prince and hold him tighter.

"Ea na qwiil, nin mellon. Maethach . . . (Be at peace, my friend. You tried . . .)" Legolas barely whispered the words, but Aragorn still heard them. He tightened his grip and whispered back in the prince's ear, his face never changing.

"Uuyech er, idra mellon nin. Na nefach. (You are not alone, my dear friend. I am here.)"

The room was very quiet after that. The only noise was Aragorn gently rocking the elf in his arms, trying to keep him coherent and talking. Through all this, Elrond was very quiet, deep in thought. Elladan had said that he didn't know the poison, but it had come from a thorn. Thorns don't just grow; they come off a certain plant of some kind. So they needed to know what plant the thorn had come from in order to try and find an antidote. But the prince was so close to losing himself. The only reason he was still here it seemed was because Aragorn was here.

Aragorn was holding on to the prince with everything he had, just like . . . just like so many times before. So many times had they been steps away from death's door, and each time managed to pull through. Weaker men would have long ago given up the ghost, weaker elves would have left for the sea, but never these two. Hard and bold in body and mind, they refused to give up. They both had each other to hold on to, never stopping the long and difficult fight because they both knew there was something more, something beyond the pain.

How could he make Aragorn leave when he was probably the only reason Legolas had not left for the halls of the Mandos?

But Aragorn knew where they had fought the orcs and the wolf, he was the only one who could find what they needed, but that would mean that he would have to leave Legolas to try and find out where the thorn had come from. Elrond watched his son carefully. Aragorn's face remained stony as he gently rocked his friend. He wasn't going to leave Legolas. Elrond sighed deeply and shut his eyes, mulling it over. He didn't know what to do. Make Aragorn leave? He would never go willingly. What if something happened if he did? What if Legolas . . . he shuddered at the thought. No. He could never ask Aragorn to leave when it looked like his friend would not survive much longer. But there was nothing else that they could do. It was either that, or they had no hope to find a cure for Legolas. He was already fading.

Elrond slowly moved over from his chair that he was in and sat on the bed next to Aragorn. Wrapping his arm around the human's shoulders he gave his son a tight hug. Aragorn turned his head and rested it on his father's shoulder, but didn't release his hold on Legolas. Elrond waited for a few moments, then turned his head so that they were face to face.

"Aragorn," he began, looking deeply into the silver eyes, normally bright and full of life, but now dark and cold, death like. "Aragorn, I know this is going to be extremely hard, but this may be the only way to save Legolas. You need to go back to where you were attacked by the orcs and find where the thorn came from. We need to get the plant and try to make an antidote. If we don't find out where it came from, Legolas won't have a chance."

A small battle went on behind Aragorn's eyes. Leave? Now! What about Legolas? What if something happened while he was gone? He turned his head away from his father and shut his eyes as he thought about it. But what choice did he have now? He had to try. He would never forgive himself if Legolas was lost and he did nothing.

He pulled Legolas closer still and again rested his head on his father's shoulder, and for a split second he was at peace he was going. He looked up into his father's eyes.

"I will go. I have to. Just . . ." his voice caught, and grimly he choked it down. "Just give me some time with him, just in case . . .I don't make it."

Elrond nodded, and, gesturing to the twins, left the room, leaving Aragorn and Legolas alone. He gently awoke his friend from the uneasy sleep he was in and looked deep into the cloudy blue eyes.

"I have . . . to go." Aragorn whispered. Legolas groggily nodded, having listened to pieces of the conversation that had been going on. He reached up and grasped Aragorn's hand. Aragorn squeezed back, and then sighed as he looked at his old friend.

"Are you afraid?"

"Of death?" Legolas even in his almost delirious state gave him a weak smile, but Aragorn did not react so well.

He looked to the side and then down, his eyes blurring as he gasped painfully at the thought. Legolas squeezed his hand as tightly as he could for a few seconds.

"It's all right." Legolas tried to pass it off as nothing important.

"That's not funny." Aragorn looked back up, but his eyes were now red and his face taunt as horrifying thoughts began to consume him. Legolas looked at him for only a few moments before he too shut his eyes and sighed deeply. He finally looked back up and give Aragorn a soft, searching gaze.

"I'm afraid of being apart from all that I hold dear."

Aragorn paused for a moment before moving forward until he was inches from Legolas' face. Even though his face was lined with pain, his voice did not shake.

"Oh, mellon-nin, that will never happen!" he whispered softly. "Don't give up, my friend. You need to hang on. Don't give up."

"Just…come back fast. I will miss you."

"I will miss you too. I'll be back soon, I promise you. Garor, idra nin mellon. Garor. (Hold on, my dear friend. Hold on.)"

Aragorn gently kissed the prince on his forehead. Legolas placed one hand on top of Aragorn's head and held him against him for a moment, until Aragorn finally pulled away and gave his friend's hand one last squeeze. He left the bed, and right before he opened the door, he looked back. Legolas weakly held up one hand, a sign of farewell. Aragorn smiled and returned the gesture, then quietly left the room and shut the door behind him.

Legolas sunk back into his pillow. Believe and you shall find your way . . .