Know Your Stars, Mission: Full Metal Alchemist
Disclaimer: Hola! Well, I know their are a lot of "Know Your Stars" fics out there, but I haven't seen any for FMA, so I decided to try it out. Ah, yes, I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the character I happen to torture--I mean include.
Edward Elric had wandered into a dark room, consiquently it had a director-looking chair in the middle. Ed shrugged and walked up to the chair. He poked it once and then sat down. Suddenly a light shone down on him, making him squint.
" Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars!" A deep, echoing voice rang out from somewhere unknown.
" Who said that, hey, who was that?" Ed asked, looking around behind the chair.
" I'm not behind the chair." The voice bellowed. Ed jumped.
" Where are you, then?" Ed questioned again.
" Edward Elric...he likes to wear woman's underwear!"
" WHAT? I do not...well, only on days that end in 'y'." Ed mummbeled, glancing away.
" What color are they today?"
" What? Oh, well let me check..." Ed said, looking down, reaching for his trousers. A gagging sound was made from the ceiling.
" Eh..nevermind, anyway, Edward Elric...he eats chocolate covered cucumbers everyday." The voice mused.
" No I don't, that doesn't sound very appetizing. I like chocolate covered pants though. Now, man oh man, those hit the spot." He said, rubbing his stomache.
" Okay..."
" You know what else is good? It's really tastey when you have a double stuffed--" Ed started, but was interuppted.
" Edward Elric...he wishes he were a fish." The voice said, giggling slightly.
Ed narrowed his eyes at the ceiling. " Why would I want to be a fish, that's obsurd. "
" Becuase you wish you had scales."
" Scales?"
" Yes, scales."
" No way!"
" Yes way."
" No way!"
" Yes way."
" NO WAY!"
" Okay." The voice sniggered. " I just rhymed."
" Whoop dee do." Ed said, sarcastically. " Would you like a blue ribbon or something?"
" No, but I would like a puppy." The voice answered, striking up a deal.
" I don't have a puppy."
" So, buy one."
" I don't have any money." Ed answered.
" Edward Elric...he can't add." The voice said, suddenly changing the subject.
" That was a lame insult." Ed said, staring up at the ceiling, a satisfying smile on his face.
" I...well...IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I was just hired yesterday!" The voice yelled, sobbing in the background.
" That's obvious, what were you promoted from, a cocktail waitress?" Ed chuckled.
" Actually I was a bartender. I had a good radio voice so they asked me to sign up for this thing. I agreed of course." The narrator said, telling her life story. Ed was sleeping, he awoke sharply.
" Oh, I fell asleep, it seems."
" EDWARD ELRIC!" The narrator yelled out of annoyance. " He wets the bed regularly and then takes the sheets and runs around yelling, I'M PEE PEE MAN!" The narrator shouted out of breathe. Ed stood up, angrily.
" What the hell are you talking about? I do no such thing!" Ed said, raising a fist threateningly at the ceiling.
" Yes you do, and Roy Mustang joins you!" The voice laughed hysterically, but was suddenly muffeled by crashes and fummbling. Ed stared at the ceiling, a confused look on his face.
" What's happening wherever you are?" Ed yelled up. More crashes and explosions.
" AHHH! Let go, oh no, that doesn't bend that way!" The voice shouted, then went silent. Maniacal laughter was heard suddenly and it was a different voice from the previous narrator.
" BEHOLD! It is I, the omnipitant and wonderfully attractive," A deep breathe was drawn in, " COLONEL ROY MUSTANG!" Mustang's voice called surrounding Ed.
" Damnit..." Ed groaned.
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-shrug- Tell me what you think, yet another attempt at humor from Senpai-sama. Chapter two shall be...Winry. Reveiw.