Okay, another chapter up with a major flashback. Really sad and answers the reviewers questions about what happened to Iroh and Ozai! More Cute Baby Zuko! Next chapter, the plot moves a lot further along! Special thanks to three amazing people. Firebend, my dear friend, Sarah, my beloved editor and Isaia, my hero artist! Check out some of her illustrations (inspired by a poem of mine, so honored beyond words )http/ www .livejournal. com/ community/avatarfans /201404.html? stylemine#cutid1 Sorry for the short author notes but I hope the longer chapter makes up for it. The stories are getting longer but the end is in sight! Hope you enjoy reading!
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished!
"Tell me or face the consequences!" Iroh roared to the kneeling figure of the young Ichiro. The boy was trembling in terror, but restrained by soldiers. Iroh would get the information out of him, one way or another!
"Please my lord General, I told you already, it's not on the island! I swear on my life!" the boy begged, cringing under the threat of more punishment. His clothing had been ripped and stained with dirt, livid bruises on his face.
Iroh had decided a new reason to hate Nihonbashi. That prude kept absolutely no sake or any other form of alcoholic beverage on his island. He had banned it, saying it lead to a decline in public morals. Kidnapping an innocent child after trying to kill him and his entire family was not a decline in public morals? How was Iroh supposed to concentrate on feeling better without sake? He supposed he could just take one of the maids as a form of amusement but that meant he'd have to find one that seemed somewhat clean. Sake was always there. It never got pregnant, risked giving you diseases or had emotional needs!
"If I so much as find a pint on the island that you didn't tell me about, I'll box your ears in. Get him out of my sight, he's no use to me." Iroh sighed, deciding to get some sleep. Even the poor little Prince had fallen asleep, allowing Iroh some time to execute people.
"My lord General, for what it is worth, I am so very sorry for what happened. I love my father and know he is a good man. It was nothing personal. I hope you will not hate me forever for what happened," Ichiro whispered as he was dragged to his feet.
"Your apology won't grant any lighter punishment. Your family is going into exile, no matter what you say," Iroh snapped, glaring at him.
"I know. I'm not afraid of exile. My family and I will be together, that is all that matters. My little brother Takuya and I, we are like one. It won't be so bad," Ichiro responded.
Iroh tensed at Ichiro's choice of words. "Don't be so foolish, my boy. If I said that I would allow you to stay in the capital with your titles and estates if you betrayed your family, would you do it?" he asked softly.
Ichiro squared his shoulders, for once looking like a true warrior. "Never! With all due respect, my master, NEVER! Where they go, I go." There was something so certain in his voice that Iroh felt a deep twinge of jealousy.
"You are a good boy, Ichiro. Just make sure others don't advantage of your good heart and hurt you. I am proud to be your cousin. Now, go get some sleep. After today, you need it." Iroh really needed some sake now!
The speechless boy was hustled out of the room and Iroh flopped himself on the bed. That Ichiro was so foolish. He was so loyal and good, yet the world was a dark cruel place! His innocent soul would not last, betrayal would eat away at the love and goodness inside him.
He debated checking on Prince Zuko and making sure he was all right. He found his arms aching to hold the little boy again. What was he thinking? This was Ozai's child! He might as well hold a baby viper. He had to stop caring about him or risk getting hurt again. Only fools allow others to get close to them.
He could not get Zuko's smile out his mind as he closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep. It looked so familiar, harkening back to such an innocent time.
"Got him!" laughed Iroh as he flicked a fireball at the servant from the balcony. The two boys had played hooky from their tutors and were amusing themselves on a balcony. They had dumped water on various palace officials and were trying to explode wine casks with fireballs. It might be dangerous but that was half the fun! Both boys had stripped down from their royal clothes into simple tunics, leaving the more elaborate clothing in a lump in their beds. They were dressed for some serious mischief!
"Let's see if we can light Hanae's dress on fire! Maybe she'll have to take it off! She's awfully pretty!" Ozai said, a mischievous grin on his face as he noticed the pretty little noblewoman sitting in the corner of the courtyard, awaiting a palanquin to take her to her home.
Iroh laughed and tugged at Ozai's long hair. "What a great idea, my little brother!" he said in irony. Both boys had been short for a while, Iroh even had a few years when he had been taller but lately Ozai had begun a fierce growth spurt. Ozai was already a head taller then him and growing fast. Iroh had long been at peace with the fact that he would remain short but he supposed a few good jokes at Ozai's expense would not go amiss. It did make him feel better. "You aren't going to make her like you more by tormenting her and pulling her hair!"
"Well, how else do I get her attention? I keep stuttering when she's around!" Ozai demanded, his face dark with sadness.
"You should give her flowers." Iroh had already decided he was a world expert on females. All the girls would giggle when he walked around the town with Ozai. The braver ones would go up to talk to him and Iroh never failed to charm those silly geese. Iroh would put a hand on his brother's shoulder at the end of the evening as they compared conquests. Those were the nights! Peasant girls were easy to tumble and by the end of the night, they would always be in better spirits. Yet, poor love-sick Ozai still loved a noble girl who wasn't so easy to tumble.
"Flowers are boring. What's the point anyway? I have no chance with Count Tao's daughter. Her parents want her to marry you, the Crown Prince, not a nobody like me." Ozai asked, looking so downcast. Iroh knew it bothered him that he was second born. To Iroh, it seemed nice not to have all the responsibilities of ruling an empire but he supposed it was hard being considered second-rate.
"You aren't a nobody, you are my brother. The brother of the Future Fire-lord and my best friend. That's three things you are!" Iroh said, with a roguish grin.
"No one ever sees me when you are around," Ozai mumbled, looking a bit dark and angry at that.
"Well, I see you and that is all that matters! Now stop sulking or I'll give you such a head-knuckle!" Iroh threatened mockingly. He used to do that to Ozai a lot when they were younger. He sighed as a drop of water fell on his arm. "Darn it, it's starting to rain! We'll have to wait till tomorrow to charm your little girlfriend," he said as the palanquin finally came and retrieved Hanae. "Look, the soldiers are bringing the Komodo rhinos in from the rain! Ten gold coins says you can't hit one!" he challenged, trying to cheer up Ozai.
"Oh yes, I can!" Ozai retorted, shooting out an enormous fireball at the first rhino. Even with the rain, the fireball just sizzled onto the hide of the lead beast. Just as they had planned, the enormous beasts began stampeding and trying to throw their riders, hissing and snorting. The two princes laughed heartily as the riders fell to the ground in heaps. "Oh, that soldier took a nasty fall!" the younger boy giggled.
"And look at that one in the mud!" Iroh laughed, pointing to a soldier lying on the ground, his helmet askew.
"That's ten gold coins!" Ozai reminded, looking very smug at winning a challenge.
"All right, you earned it, genius. I'll win it back blackmailing one of the chamberlains. We better get back to our rooms and pretend we have fever or else they might suspect the other stuff we did," Iroh reminded, still laughing at his brother's cleverness. As much as he hated to leave his pranks, Iroh and Ozai knew they had no need for another lashing.
The two brothers crept back through the halls, trying to remain inconspicuous. Fortunately, most servants ignored people in plain clothing and the boys were able to get to Upper Floors safely. Only one more ornate hallway and they'd be safe. Iroh definitely enjoyed ending a successful pranking as much as he enjoyed beginning it. He and Ozai had won, the world had lost.
"Ah, Prince Iroh, Ozai. Going somewhere?" said a cold voice. Both boys turned and winced. Standing directly behind them was the Head Tutor, Captain Akito. The middle-aged soldier looked livid at his students.
"Just went for some fresh air, Sensei. Nothing of great importance," Iroh said haughtily, trying to pull the powerful prince act.
"Save your excuses, sir. Your tricks were clever but unfortunately for you both, your father decided to summon you. The lumps of clothing wouldn't work well in an audience with him," Akito sneered. "Come along. Your father isn't pleased and wants a talk with you."
The mischievous grins on the princes' faded like the morning dew. Although both princes liked to pretend they were fearless, nothing terrified them more then their father, Fire-Lord Sajja. Iroh would get terrible stomachaches at the mere thought of him and Ozai would stutter terribly.
"I…" Iroh began, feeling that familiar pain in his stomach, but the tutor had come prepared.
"You can come of your own free will or you can be dragged there. Your choice," he said, his voice cruel. Iroh knew he should not blame him for his zealous nature. If Akito failed to complete the Fire-Lord's order, the captain would die a horrible death. Yet, Iroh and Ozai were not the understanding types, they still hated him.
"Iroh?" Ozai said, looking at him fearfully. "F-f-father will b-b-be m-m-mad!" he squeaked, clearly frightened.
Iroh took his brother's hand and squeezed it. "He might be in a good mood, you never know!" he whispered as they walked together through the dark halls of the palace, following their tutor. Iroh hated every inch of his father's private chambers. Although very little distinguished it from the other areas in the palace, it always seemed like those particular rooms exuded an air of evil and a stench of decay.
With his stomach churning, Iroh walked his brother inside his father's antechamber. Lord Sajja was sitting upon a raised dais, holding a large slab of stone. A live writhing prickle snake had been pined to the slab and Father was gently skinning it to extract the venom. The rest of them room was stark and bare, besides for the guards posted at the doors. It was a sharp contrast to the rest of the ornate palace. The only decorations on the wall were splashes of blood.
Iroh and Ozai both shuddered as they reluctantly kneeled and touched their foreheads to the stone cold floor before their father. "Agni's blessings on our lord, master and father," they chorused mechanically. Iroh longed to tell his father what he really thought, but that would only incur more problems.
"So, if it isn't the crippled body and the crippled mind come calling," Father began, his sharp voice piercing through the air. Iroh could feel his dark eyes boring into his skull. "The heirs of eight hundred years of tradition being wastrels, useless and pathetic. Spending your days tumbling maids, getting drunk and playing your silly little pranks. This does not please me. Perhaps more pain is needed to ensure that you finally grow up?"
"Hasn't worked before. I suppose my maturity is just as crippled as my height," Iroh said, trying to use self-deprecating humor. He hated being reminded of being short but it was better he said it and not his opponent. Oh, his stomach ached!
"More of your usual humor, Prince Iroh. The last time we had a discussion of your behavior, you weren't laughing by the end. I suppose you like pretending you are brave." Father rose from his seat and walked over to the two boys. Iroh could feel him approaching closer with each lurch in his stomach. Father smiled and traced a long spidery finger on a bruise on Iroh's cheek. "What a lovely scream you gave. Your poor little body, so broken. The pain clouding your mind, betraying you and making vulnerable. How…fascinating," he said, lightly caressing his face. Iroh shivered and didn't speak. "I suppose we will have to try new methods of improving. I like being creative. I am sure between the two of us; we can find the root of the problem." The long spidery hand then began pressing on the bruise. "Tell me when it hurts."
Iroh felt like he was going to vomit. He tried to move his head and escape the pain those thin hands could give. "Oh no, my little prince. We cannot allow you to end the game before we have had all this fun. Would you rather I move on to your retarded shadow? Remove the weak link in the chain?" Father asked.
Ozai tensed and shrunk into himself. Iroh steeled himself; he had to protect him. "What do you mean? I see no weak link next to me," he spat, staring up at his father boldly.
"Open your eyes. This throne will someday be yours, boy. Why do you allow your brother to sully it by being stupid and clumsy? He should be punished for his flaws. What fate will you mete out to him?" Father asked, his tone cruel.
Iroh smiled as he looked up at his father. "I pardon him for all his actions against me and the throne, and offer him a reward of his choice, my lord."
"You dare reward him for his insolence?" Father scowled. Iroh knew he would be punished, but he couldn't resist thumbing his nose at his noose.
"What is mine is his, we are one. Any act he commits against me, I see as an act I committed against myself. Only a fool would punish his left hand for injuring his right hand. A wise man would merely pamper his right hand and hope it returns to good health. Hence I offer my brother his choice of rewards," Iroh said, bowing his head.
"Your insolence will be your undoing, my son. You stand on the brink of disaster, I advise you to hold your tongue before you lose it. Suffering seems to be the only way for you to learn some obedience."
"I'd make a poor successor to you, my honorable lord without the ability to speak," Iroh retorted. He knew he could be tortured but Father needed him in one piece to continue an orderly succession.
"There are many ways to silence you, my dearest child. So many efficient ways to insure a lesson is learned." The chill in the air increased considerably. Iroh wondered if it was to be a lashing, days without food, being hung upside down in a freezing stone room or any of the other tortures Father had devised. He had withstood them all, knowing that Father could not kill him off. He sighed, knowing the next few days were going to be unpleasant. Well, he supposed Father would eventually realize they could not be broken. Until then, he would just have to bear his suffering with dignity.
"Why did Agni curse me with such a useless, depraved little brat for an heir? I'm left with a deformed ingrate and an imbecile. What would I give for a worthy heir? Someone worth caring about."
"Ozai is not an imbecile and if you find deformed fruit, I suggest you blame the twisted root which bore them," Iroh spat. No one insulted his brother, not even the Fire Lord himself! Iroh then automatically ducked a dagger thrown at him by his father. He knew he'd be punished for that comment.
"Digging your own grave? So be it. If hunger, cold and pain won't teach you to behave, perhaps I will have to separate you from your little pet and instruct you personally. I am sure there is some way to break your spirit and make you a proper heir." Iroh flinched at those words. He couldn't imagine being separated from his brother!
"S-s-send m-me a—away?" Ozai stuttered, his eyes wide. He looked so terrified, Iroh and Ozai had never been apart for more then a few days.
"Of course. Little Ozai, are you intelligent enough to realize how useless you are to me? You can't be an heir to me and I'm tired of you being a comfort object to the true heir. Hence, you can go to the army and remain out of the way of your master while I personally instruct Prince Iroh."
"I'm not s-s-s-stupid! You c-c-c-could t-t-t-t-teach me!" Ozai pleaded, falling to his knees.
"Why should I?" Father queried, his golden eyes narrow with amusement.
"I'll do whatever you say. I can be everything if you j-j-j-j-just give me a chance. Don't send me away!" Poor Ozai's eyes were wide with terror. Iroh went to put his hand on his shoulder, as he always did. Yet, this time Ozai shrugged his hand off. Iroh was taken aback! Ozai loved having Iroh pat his shoulder.
"Well, I have to send one of you away. Why should I send keep the pet? You are nothing without your brother leading you around by the hand. Face it, boy, you are an imbecile and are worthless to me!" Father said, his thin lips twisted in a smirk.
"I am not Iroh's p-p-p-pet!" Ozai said, his eyes shining with fury. "I am my own p-p-p-person and I don't need Iroh's help!"
Iroh gasped. Of all the blows he had received, that one hurt the most. "Ozai?" he whispered.
Father smiled, chilling Iroh to the bone. "So, you can talk. I'm impressed; you aren't as backwards as I thought. Perhaps you have some p-p-potential, but frankly, you aren't as intelligent as your brother. Why should I keep you here?" Father mocked, imitating Ozai's stutter.
"B-b-because I will do whatever you say. I'll do anything to m-m-make myself worthy to you!" Ozai explained, his voice shaking.
"Ozai, what are you doing? Brother?" Iroh whispered, tearing up.
"Taking what should r-r-r-rightfully be m-mine! I don't n-n-need your help. I am not your pet. I won't b-b-b-be sent away to make room for you!" Ozai snapped, glaring at Iroh with venom.
"I see. You don't want to go to the army, do you?" Father asked, serpentine in tone. Ozai shook his head. "Do you wish to have true power? The power to make yourself feared?"
"Yes! I want to make you p-p-p-proud!" Ozai's face looked so confused and hopeful. Iroh could not believe he would try and seek approval from Father!
"Ozai! Have you taken leave of your senses?" Iroh snapped, turning to face his brother. "Are you even hearing what you are saying?"
"Apparently, some in this family don't approve of your decision to better yourself," Father continued. "I always knew Iroh was the jealous type!"
"That's a lie! I want you to better yourself! You know that!" Iroh pleaded, taking Ozai's shoulder again. His hands were shaking.
Ozai brushed off the hand and ran to his father. "I am your loyal s-s-s-son," he said, falling to his knees next to his father. "J-j-j-just let me prove it!" His voice was shaking and there was an uncertainty there that Iroh had never heard before.
"Brother?" Iroh's voice cracked with sadness. "Ozai, what are you doing?" He just didn't understand. Why was Ozai doing this?
"Leaving your s-s-s-s-shadow. I'm tired of l-l-l-living on your mercy. I am tired of being second best. I am tired of n-n-n-no one ever noticing me. I am just as noble, just as royal and just as talented as you are. Everyone is always trying to p-p-p-push me down," Ozai hissed, his voice shaking with rage. "I won't be sent away, I won't be p-p-p-pushed aside!"
"That isn't true. I love you! You are my brother and my best friend. I am not against you; I would do anything for you. Please, don't do this. Don't believe him!" Iroh had tears streaming down his face. He felt as though he had been stabbed through the heart.
"Silence, boy! So, the mighty Iroh finally crumbles. And here I thought you were strong, but it appears your weakness was plain for all to see, " Father scoffed, clearly enjoying yourself. "Perhaps you should have listened when I told you that you should never trust anyone," he mocked.
Iroh remembered the dark jealous looks Ozai had often worn when people had praised "the crown prince" but he had always ignored them. He thought he knew his brother, he imagined all siblings got jealous at times. Iroh had always been jealous of Ozai's height and superior physical strength, but it had not dimmed his love for him. He could trust Ozai. "You are wrong!" he snapped, unable to think of anything else to say.
"Perhaps you aren't only deformed; it's you who's the imbecile. I suppose you didn't see that attack coming. You thought you knew your brother as weak and pathetic, but now you fall to pieces once he shows himself a true rival. It appears I don't need you anymore. I have a good child here," Father derided, patting Ozai's head.
"Ozai, this is Father. He will hurt you, just as he always did. He is only trying to separate us, to turn us against each other!" Iroh pleaded.
"Do you see how jealous he gets the moment he realizes you have a brain, my dear Ozai?" Father sneered, towering over Ozai like a puppeteer.
"Ozai, I would happily bow to you as my lord and sovereign, if that will make you content. I would serve you loyally if you become Fire Lord. Nothing would make me happier than to see you reach the heights you deserve. My precious little brother, why would I be jealous of you? I love you. I love you more then my own life, I'd give you my title if that were what you want. Anything mine is yours and you know it. I want you to have everything. I would never hurt you. Why won't you believe me? Why are you pushing me away?" Iroh demanded, choking on his sobs. He fell to his knees, hoping to mollify his brother and genuflected. "There, now you are the worshipped one. I submit! You have what you want. What else can I do to prove myself to you?" he pleaded.
"Of course you don't believe his lies, my son. Your brother only wants to see you weak. He wants to keep you in his shadow, but you will fight back. Yes, you aren't an imbecile at all. Prove yourself my son." Father loved suffering and he was clearly enjoying himself now.
"Fight me, Iroh. The winner can claim the first-born's portion. We'll settle it the ancient way once and for all in an Agni Kai," Ozai said, his eyes glowing with fury.
"I won't fight you! You are my brother!" Iroh retorted, not rising from his knees.
"Rise and fight, Prince Iroh!" Ozai shouted. They were evenly matched; Ozai was a powerful warrior. Perhaps it would soothe his anger. Yet, Iroh refused to accept the challenge. He would not dignify Ozai's betrayal with an Agni Kai! "Or do you think me beneath your dignity!"
"I will never lift a hand against you. Take the first born title if it pleases you. I give it to you freely, but it is mine to give. I will only give it to you as a gift of a loving brother, not as some spoil in a war!"
"This is war! I don't want your charity, I'll take it myself by force." Ozai's hands were shaking with rage. His stuttering had stopped, Ozai had been consumed by rage and had forgotten to be nervous.
"I will not fight you! I will not legitimize your paranoia and play this stupid game. Why should we fight? Together, working as one, we can do anything! I am not your enemy, why are you treating me this way? I don't offer you charity but friendship!" Iroh begged.
"The only way I can be strong is to leave your shadow. You will fight me or declare yourself the loser and die!" Ozai retorted, his voice shaking. He was losing control of his emotions, there was less hate and more terror in his eyes. Ozai felt bad for what he was doing but there was also resolve in his bearing.
"Then I've lost you, Ozai and you've lost me. We are both the loser," Iroh whispered dejectedly.
"Look at how low he thinks of you. He won't even bothering fighting you. He thinks you beneath contempt. Punish him. Make him suffer. That's what having power is about," Father coaxed, pushing Ozai forward.
"If you refuse to fight, then I'll kill you!" Ozai said, his eyes narrowing. His voice did not sound too confident with that threat.
"Then do it. End it now. Frankly, I don't care if you do kill me," Iroh whispered, closing his eyes. "If the years that we spent together meant nothing to you, if the hours we spent laughing together only brings out disgust, then kill me and end my misery! Do it! I dare you!"
Ozai allowed his fists to ignite. "So be it." Iroh watched him get closer, walking over slowly. He wondered why the prayers for Death were not on his mind. His lips formed the words "May Agni's name be eternally blessed," but his mind was filled with other images. Images of Ozai giggling and splashing him as they went swimming, of the two brothers tumbling a maid, of them talking all night and falling asleep in the same bed.
Iroh looked at his brother, wanting the last sights in the world to be the only person he ever truly cared about. Iroh was not afraid to die, as he thought he should be. He found the prospect of life alone far too much to bear. "Ozai, please remember me. Wake up and remember who cares about you! If you want to punish me for being born first, then knowing you are hurt is worse then anything I can imagine. I'm begging you, remember me!" he begged.
"I hate you. You mean nothing to me." Ozai's eyes looked so foreign. Iroh thought he knew his little brother, but now he saw the waves of anger and hatred he had so long overlooked. Yet, there was also pain and confusion. Ozai looked so torn and afraid.
"Then kill me. I hope it makes you happy," Iroh said, raising his hands to the side in utter submission.
Ozai stood there for an agonizingly long moment, his hands alit with fire. Iroh could feel the heat close by as he waited to be immolated. The moments passed slowly, as Ozai just stared at him.
"You aren't worth my time," Ozai finally said, a spark of humanity returning to his eyes. He turned to Father. "I have no wish to grant him death. I let him live, it's my choice now," he said, his voice quivering. Ozai was wavering, Iroh could tell it. "I have the power now."
"You have a long way to go, boy, before you reach your potential. You still are weak, but you have taken your first steps towards appreciating the exquisiteness of pain. Now, what shall we do with your useless servant? He's in your power now. He needs to suffer more. He needs to regret hurting you. Don't you hate him for leaving you in his dust?" Father goaded.
"Ozai…what has become of you?" Iroh whispered. "This isn't you!"
"Silence! You won't control me anymore. Now it's my turn! Guards, seize him!" Ozai commanded, snapping his fingers. "Have him flogged and sent to his room without meals. He leaves for the army in the morning. Remove him at once from my sight," Ozai said, his tone cold. There was so much guilt and confusion in Ozai's face, as Father put a cold hand on the boy's shoulder.
Iroh was pulled to his feet. All he wanted was a single word, a single look to legitimize all the affection he had invested. Ozai's eyes were on the floor. No one could be trusted. No one could be loved. The world was a dark lonely void of sadness. There was only one word on his lips. "Ozai…" All Ozai had to do was called his name!
"Iroh…Iroh…" he heard a voice calling him. Could Ozai have repented? Was he running after them apologizing? Could he be there, apologizing? Then they'd laugh about it and chalk it up to momentary craziness. "UNKA!"
Iroh awoke. It had only been a dream. He was not fourteen anymore. He was an adult and Ozai was not a child either, but a powerful despot. So who was that crying? Was that one of the prisoners? No, it was a voice he recognized. Yes, as he splashed cold water on his face, he remembered his young nephew. That was the sound of him crying!
Iroh strode across the hall to the dark room Prince Zuko was supposed to be sleeping in. Three soldiers were standing around the poor hysterical tot, trying to comfort him. "NO! Unka, help!" he kept screaming, choking on his sobs.
With a snap of his fingers, Iroh had the soldiers move and move into the little boy's range of sight. "I'm here. Uncle's here. Why are you crying?" he asked, as the soldiers slunk back outside to return to guard duty.
"Unka leave! Bad men come!" the little toddler wept. He had worked himself into another fit. The poor child was not even breathing properly. His pillow was stained with tears. "Pwin Zuko want Uncle stay! No leave! Want Mama! Want Papa! Want bad men go away!"
Iroh's heart melted at the sight of the poor boy looking so terrified. "I'll keep the bad men away. No one will ever hurt you as long as I am breathing!" he whispered, holding the boy close to him. "No one, Ozai. I'll always take care of us, I'll always be there to make sure you are all right."
Zuko cuddled up to him. "Unka no leave!" he commanded in his high voice, clutching Iroh's robes. Iroh knew he was going too far, he was getting too sentimental! Here was his chance to break away and maintain his love-free existence. He could walk out right now and let the boy cry himself to sleep.
Yet those golden eyes could not be refused. "I'll sleep here tonight," he said softly. He would get away from this sentimentality in the morning. Iroh put out the lights with a blink of his eyes as he cradled the little boy and rubbed his back. Why had he dreamed of that event? Iroh thought he had repressed that horrible day.
Ozai hadn't apologized and it was to be the last time Iroh had seen his brother for five years. The memories passed through his mind. Iroh had numbly taken the punishments without a word of protest. He had barely felt the pain. He spent the entire night sobbing, waiting for his brother to return and apologize. He waited all night, till he was summoned to the palanquin to begin his lonely exile. As the palace faded from view, Iroh vowed to lock up all his feelings. When he had returned, the expressive and shy little boy that had stabbed Iroh in the heart had been replaced by an emotionless despot with a violent sadistic streak. Iroh barely recognized him, he had severed all ties but the ties of fealty. Now he was letting Ozai's son hurt him again. Yes, Zuko was innocent now, but he would grow up to be just like his father.
"Unka?" piped up the little boy, after a long moment of cuddling together in the darkness.
"Yes, Prince Zuko?" Iroh asked, tucking the blanket in around them both so they would be warm. He liked the feeling of holding the child of the two people he had loved and lost. It made him feel at peace with the world. He sighed as he remembered holding little Ozai through nightmare-filled nights. He remembered sitting and holding Hanae when she had miscarried her third pregnancy. He remembered caring so much about them.
"Why Unka sad?" Zuko asked, his sweet childish voice filling with concern for him. He must have heard him sighing. Iroh had to remind himself that children were a bother that he didn't like!
"I'm fine. Now go to sleep," Iroh assured him, trying to collect his thoughts. He needed some quiet time.
"No, Pwin Zuko want Unka happy! Pwin Zuko love Unka! Pwin Zuko want Unka smile!" the little boy protested, climbing onto Iroh's chest and sitting on hi stomach. "Smile!" And in spite of himself, Iroh did.