Chapter 9
Christine woke a good number of hours later. She opened her eyes groggily, and to her surprise, she found that Erik's arm was around her shoulders, and her head was resting upon his shoulder. It is quite comfortable. That is most definitely beside the point though! How had this happened? she thought, her mind spinning out of control. She did not move, for if she woke Erik, she knew he would be quite angry, so she tried to remain as still as possible.
An hour later, Erik woke to a horrible pounding in his head. He did not open his eyes, not yet. He felt that he was embracing her, his arm around her and her head nestled against his shoulder, her body aligned with his, warming it; how that had happened he'd never know. Whether she was awake or not, he did not know. He had no desire to open his eyes and find out, not yet. Instead, he would lie there and reflect on the hours past. He knew that he'd acted like an utter ass, asking her prying questions, saying whatever foolish thing entered his impaired mind. When he could bare to brood upon it no longer, he opened his eyes and looked down at her.
"Good morning, I suppose..." He loosened his embrace on her, so she could free herself, should she wish to.
"Afternoon... I believe," she said, not moving from the embrace. She told herself it was just because she didn't want to waste the energy, but in her heart she knew that there was another reason she didn't want to admit.
"Perhaps you are correct." He was surprised she had not rolled away from him as soon as she could. "Christine... I must apologize for my brutish behavior yesterday; I was quite intoxicated, you see..."
"I know," she said, surprised by the reassurance and comfort in her voice.
"I had no idea what I was talking about, or doing. I pray you'll forgive me," he continued, tentatively replacing his arm around her shoulders, as it was before.
"I do; it's alright... No harm done."
"I am glad you are so merciful on the matter." He was silent, willing his headache to leave him.
"You shouldn't have drank so much..." she said sympathetically.
"I know that, now. I regret it. But I needed something to... Take my mind off things. I suppose I'll just have to rest the rest of the day; I believe I don't feel well enough to do much else..."
She looked up at him for a moment before clearing her throat. "I guess I should be getting back..." she mumbled, feeling somewhat awkward all the sudden.
"I suppose..." he said quietly, removing his arm from around her.
She got up from the bed, and strangely she felt an odd sadness sweep over her when she thought of leaving. "I'm suppose I didn't bring the best news yesterday..."
"No... It was quite unexpected."
"I know... I wasn't going to tell you... Or anyone for that matter, but I thought... I thought you should know..." she said quietly, looking at her hands.
"Thank you. As I said yesterday, I will be here, if you ever should need me."
"Thank you... And about yesterday... I am sorry I was so dramatic... I just... It's not the best situation to be in," Christine didn't know why she was expressing such sudden openness with him; she guessed she just felt the need to get everything out in the open... She had been keeping her secret for so long.
"I can understand," he replied. "Do you need me to assist you?"
She shook her head. "You rest... I can manage."
"I will... Thank you. Farewell."
"Goodbye, Erik," she said quietly, before turning and exiting the bedroom.
He watched her leave once again, feeling more and more unhappy as the distance between them grew. He heard her depart on the gondola, and his sadness deepened. He wished that she could just stay, and be with him, without any conflict or drama or even close contact. He simply enjoyed her company. He loved her.
As Christine rowed herself out of the lair. When had their relationship become so comforting to her? Just the other evening, there was yelling and hurtful words... Hell, that morning there had been friction between them. While she had slept in his bed next to him, and ended up in his arms something had changed. Not only had he been civil to her when he awoke, he had been understanding. Lovely, even, and strangely when she had risen from the bed, it had filled her with great disappointment... She did not know why. It was not as though they would ever be a perfect little family. Husband and wife. Father, mother, and baby.
No, she was already someone's wife, even if her heart belonged to another. My... heart? Where had that come from? Lately, her thoughts had surprised her. Most certainly her heart did not belong to him... Her heart belonged to no one. She had told herself time and time again, but why did it make her feel a liar? She decided to blame it on the hormones. She was pregnant after all. Pregnant with Erik's baby. Why was it that when she failed to conceive with Raoul, she had felt so relieved and when she had gotten pregnant with Erik's child, it had filled her with a strange sort of… Christine didn't know what to call it… Hope, perhaps? Peace. Even though it was a horrible, horrible situation to be in, little by little she was beginning to accept the baby, even though she didn't all the way at that point. Little by little, the regret was beginning to melt away, and all she could do was hope that things would work out when all was said and done. It was a childish and girlish dream, she knew, that had extremely slim chances of ever happening, but she could pretend…she was quite good at that.
Snapping out of her thoughts, she absentmindedly paid the cabby and climbed into the carriage. Christine reflected on what Erik had said to her while he had been drunk, for she knew that his words had been the truth; the alcohol had allowed him to speak it.