Chapter 2
Enlightenment
And as I walk along this crimson path alone in my solitude of silence can I hear only you. Those whispers that followed me carry on into eternity, the sorrow in your voice carried on in me.
Heero said that he'd head out for the Hotel and wait for me to get done. When I had asked him how to get down he pointed to a rope that looked much worn, there were knots tied on it and I wondered how many people used it before me. Heero had told me that there was a trapped spirit living down the Well and that it read every wish written upon the walls. He said It only granted those Itfelt deserved to have them. I wanted to call him an idiot, tell him shit; say that I didn't believe a word of it, but all I could do was stare down the Well and wonder if it was Duo.
As I made my way down the old rope I saw millions of different words scrawled across the cobble stone walls surrounding me. Some written in blue reading: I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME, some in red saying: I WISH MY PARENTS WOULD STOP YELLING, and some in bold black: I WISH WE HAD MONEY. I guess that no matter where you live problems will always be the same. I wasn't quite sure at first what it was that I wanted to write down on the cold wall before me and had clutched to the rope for a long time before finally deciding. With the permanent Sharpie marker poised I carefully wrote down what my wish was.
PLEASE LET ME SEE HIM AGAIN.
I wanted to laugh out loud at myself for taking so long on deciding. My wish was sadly obvious from the start. I looked down and tried to see the bottom, but all I could see was the rope disappearing into the black abyss. Sometimes I have a tendency to get over curious, and so, climbed down the rest of the rope. When I had made it to the bottom I couldn't see a thing and had to let my eyes adjust. I saw something, like a flicker from a light, and then out of no where I could see a small circle of light far off down the small tunnel-like passage.
What else could I do but follow it? Anything would be better than throwing rocks through windows and listening to Heero telling me to stop. It was strange, never once in my life had I ever thought that I'd be doing something like this. The most I'd ever see myself doing would be getting arrested for shoplifting, not walking down a passageway in an old Well.
When I got within feet of the light I realized that there was a person lying next to it. How many people had traveled this deep into the Well? And how many got to see this ethereal beauty lighted by the dim glow of an oil lamp? I watched as he shifted on the small mound of blankets surrounding him, he was curled up in a small ball. Briefly I wondered what was it that he was dreaming of, and what would happen if he woke up and found me standing here watching him? I turned around and walked back the way I came, letting my slender fingers trial the wall beside me; when I made it back to the inner part of the Well I saw that the rope was piled down on the ground. Looking up, all I could see was blue sky and dark clouds outlined in a golden color.
"Fuck now what am I supposed to do!" I sat down and leaned up against the cold stone. I wanted to yell, but knew that Heero was too far away to hear.
Could there ever have been a time more worse then this, besides Heero trying to abandon me in the cave of course. How long would it take before Heero even realized that something was wrong? This was really going to suck. Gently I began to bang my head on the cold damp stone pressed against my back. I let my mind wonder to times me and my friends had spent together. Shoplifting from the local electronic stores of course was always a fun pastime me and my friends loved to pursue. Oh, who the Hell was I kidding; I wanted to go to Duo, wanted to talk to him….something. I pulled my legs up to my chest and sighed.
"Whacha doin' Trowa?" came a sing-song voice from the dark.
"Holy shit!" quickly I jumped up and tried desperately to press myself against the stone wall.
"You're funny you know that?" laughed the boy still hiding in the dark shadows of the Well. It hadn't occurred to me until that moment, but it was Duo standing there with his hands clutched behind his back and head tilted ever so slightly.
"Yeah I guess." I exhaled not knowing that I had been holding my breath in the first place.
"So you make a wish?" he stepped closer to me, looked up, and smiled. The expression on his face reminded me of a time when Heero had come to visit us for the first time and kept gazing at all the tall buildings.
"Yeah." I stepped away from the wall and picked up the rope that had fallen.
I stared as he pressed his pale hands against the gray stone, then he pulled his gaze from the wall and smiled directly at me, causing chills to run down my spine. He grabbed my free hand and tugged me along with him down the tunnel. It felt as if electricity was pulsing through my very palm. We stopped when he got to what I assumed was a makeshift bedroom and he hauled me down with him onto the small pile of blankets. The blankets smelled like they'd been in an old chest for ages and felt like damp clothes left wet in a basket for days. For what it's worth, I believe this was definitely one of the best moments of my life.
"I was gon' go to the small lake and swim do you wanna come?" he was playing with my bangs.
"Sure I guess."
He smiled at me with those beautiful amethyst colored eyes of his; there was nothing I probably wouldn't do for him. There was just something about him that made me feel so perfectly comfortable in his presence. He got off the small pile of blankets and pulled the tall board that was up against the dirt wall and placed it on the floor. Behind it was another passage way. Grabbing my hand he led me further into the tunnel and unlike before I wasn't afraid of this new unknown territory. And as for Heero, I'm sure he probably thought I'd left him there alone in order to get back at him for what he'd done.
We came to an abrupt halt and for a second I thought Duo had taken a wrong turn or something. Then he lifted his arms and pushed at something above us, the next second light came pouring down. It was weird and oddly exciting. The kind of thing you'd do when you were young. Like building a secret club house with hidden passage ways to ensure that no one could find you or for a great escape. I watched as he hoisted himself up with ease, I myself actually had trouble lifting myself up, considering the only thing I'd ever lifted was a two liter bottle of soda, so Duo had to help me up.
"This is it." said Duo with a smile.
"It's very beautiful." it was surrounded by trees and other assorted shrubbery. Truth be told the last time I'd ever been near a lake was like when I was three or something. Duo started taking off clothes and that was when it dawned on me that we were not jumping in with anything on; and the last time anyone ever saw me naked was when I was at a friend's house taking a shower and his sister walked in.
"Come on in it feels good." he'd already jumped in and was swimming around.
"I uh….. oh fuck it." no one else was here and it wasn't as if Duo had anyone to tell.
After shedding my inhibitions, and clothes, I jumped into the cool lake water. Duo splashed me the second my head resurfaced, which to be honest the water looked a tad murky, but still it was the most fun I'd ever remembered having that didn't end up with me getting in trouble. Once we were done playing and just lazily padding around, Duo took the tie off his hair and carefully unraveled it. It was dark with dirt and had not been cleaned probably since the last time he'd hopped into the lake.
I watched him as he ran his fingers through his hair trying to take out any tangles his slim fingers found. He'd lean his head just far enough so that his face was still above the water. I couldn't help but watch, and truth be told, I'm not sure why he was constantly coursing through my mind. Slowly I made my way to the ground and tried wringing the water from my bangs, it'd been a while since I'd last cut them. A few seconds later I could hear Duo getting out of the water. He'd walked up behind me without my knowing and just hugged me. I could feel my face burn. He had no sense of, well, anything when it came to being around people.
XXX
By evening I found myself back at the Cliffside; Duo had walked with me for a while and then left when we'd been mere meters from the hotel. I sat on the edge of the Well and could only smile. After about five minutes of just sitting I finally decided that I'd go into the hotel. There was a gravel path leading up to the driveway and deep groves near the front of the hotel.
The front door was a faded blue color, which meant that apparently gray was not its original color. I grabbed hold of the rickety door handle and pushed it open; dust seemed to pour from the warped wooden floors above my head. There were stairs off to the right of me; it didn't seem as if anyone else had ever been in here. Although I knew that wasn't true because somewhere in here my cousin and his friends would hang out.
I made my way up the creaking stairs and found myself in an empty room with a window as big as the walls surrounding it. The moon was casting blue shadows across the wooden dust covered floor. I stepped into the room and looked around; there were old rotting curtains on the floor and some pages from a torn notebook. There was one of those window benches next to the foot of the large window. I walked over to where the torn notebook lay and crouched down picking up all the pieces of the notebook. I held them close to my chest and lay down on the floor and just stared up at the ceiling.
I'm not quite sure how long I was staring up at the ceiling, but I stared until it all just seemed to swirl together. Gray mixing in with a sea green color, I sighed. Life here was so much more different than the city. In the city you could hear the sounds of cars constantly passing, dogs barking, sometimes even gun shots. But here, here you'd hear the sounds of crickets chirping, the ocean crashing against sand, and all other sorts of strange animals howling into the early cover of night.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here!" I jumped at the voice, it was my uncle.
"What?" I sat up and for some reason clutched to the torn notebook still in my arms.
"Your cousins been beating himself up all evening trying to figure the hell out what the hell happened to you!" he stood by the door holding it open and waiting for me to leave the room first.
"I'm sorry." I got up off the ground and walked out of the room and down the stairs.
Outside the car was running, and Heero was sitting in the backseat glaring at me. My uncle came out of the house and got into the car, for a second I just stood there staring out toward the Well. Then I got into the front seat and listened to my uncle lecture me about not being able to trust me and Heero going out by ourselves anymore.
When we got home we were immediately sent to bed. Currently we were both lying awake. Heero asked me what had happened. Said he'd looked out the window and noticed that the rope was gone and went down to check out what was wrong.
"I saw him again Heero."
"Who?"
"That boy I told you about, from the cave." I watched him from my position on the bed.
"What does he look like Trowa?" he sat up and leaned against the wall at the head of his bed.
"……..Long hair, brown, the most beautiful violet eyes you'd ever see……and a smile that reminds you of childhood." it was late and it didn't occur to me till later how I sounded.
"Oh…….tomorrow my friends and I are gonna start a bonfire just for the hell of it. If you wanna go that'd be cool." he folded his arms behind his head.
"Inviting me to hang out with you and your friends?" I turned onto my back and closed my eyes. Ignoring the fact that he'd changed the subject.
"Uh, yeah, why?" I could hear him shift on the bed.
"You think I'm crazy don't you?" I sat up and looked at him.
"I didn't say anything." he moved so that he was lying down again and for a while it got really quite.
"That's ok," I whispered. "I don't need you to believe me." I went to bed that night for the first time feeling completely happy with my life.
XXX
The fire was practically kissing the stars and sitting as far as I was I could still feel the heat. Heero's friends consisted of three other guys and a girl named Ebony. She irritated the hell out of me. When Heero first introduced me to her she kept flirting with me. It irritated me more because Heero and his friends were obviously trying to push us two together. I'd finally managed to escape and was lying down on a huge rock.
"Hey Trowa we're gonna play a round of hide an' seek wanna play?"
"God how old are you people?" I slightly turned my head and gave my cousin a look that clearly said I thought he and his friends were stupid.
"Don't be such a jerk Trowa we're just trying to have some fun."
"Fun is a bottle of vodka on a Saturday night outside Cedar Falls. Hey any of you got a cigarette on you?" I sat up and let my feet dangle over the side.
"No." said one of his friends.
"Well why the hell not!" I felt like being an ass for a bit.
"Because we're not chain smoking alcoholics!" yelled one of Heero's friends.
"What the hell crawled up your ass and died?" I lay down on the rock my face gracing the sky.
"You damnit!"
"Gee thanks for the visual, Billy Bob." I tried using a southern accent and could tell it was pissing him off.
"I can't believe you're related to that loser Heero." said one of the other guys as they walked off.
"Yeah honestly, come on lets go." their voices came out dim in the night.
"He's not that bad."
"You're only saying that because you think he's cute Eb." and the voices disappeared.
For a while I just stared up at the sky, it was weird, ever since I came here I've had this strange compulsion to continuously stare up at the stars. I want to say that it's because I was finally coming to understand how beautiful the world truly was, but it wasn't. It was because everything somehow reminded me of Duo. I know I hadn't spent that much time with him, but suddenly he was the only important person in my life. I knew then, at this moment, no one could or would ever take his place.
"Pssst…" I leaned over the side but didn't see anyone. I was gonna sit up but there was an abrupt weight on my stomach.
"What're you doing here?" he laughed and leaned over me so that our foreheads were touching, his braid sliding over his shoulder and lightly ticking my ear.
"I wanna take ya somewhere. C'mon!" he quickly got up and jumped off the rock; he stood with his hands on his hips like he was waiting for me to jump off too.
"Don't look at me like that!"
"Just jump, it's not far." he smiled up at me, laughing he outstretched his arms and made a hand gesture like a kid would when saying 'give me give me.'
"If I hurt myself you're carrying me, just so you know." and with that I jumped down with my eyes clenched shut. He was right, it wasn't that far.
"All you have to do is offer." he whispered into my ear and somehow piggy-backed me for about a three minutes before finally laughing and letting me down.
"Didn't mean to struggle." I laughed; he clutched to my arm and sighed.
He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together. It made me blush for some reason, I mean he'd always hold my hand, but suddenly it meant so many different things to me. Holding hands like this was something lovers did….. I wonder if Duo knew what he was doing being so intimate with me at times. I can feel the heat radiating from his body beside me. I never really thought about it before, but relationship wise…….
"We're here!" here was a clearing in the middle of trees.
"Um….Duo why'd you bring me here?" there was noting of interest anywhere, at least nothing I could see.
"Two reasons." he smiled brightly and had held up two fingers.
"Which are?" he held a finger to his lips.
"Shhh…listen, look." he made a flowing gesture with his right hand.
And suddenly it seemed as if the whole area we were in magically lighted up. Little balls of light seemed to float out of no where. And in the distance I could hear the soft sound of music playing. Slow soft and wonderful sounds making its way through wood and leaves, this is what Duo wanted to show me. Magic in nature.
"Duo…it's-" he cut me off.
"Dance with me Trowa." he grabbed my hands and pulled me close to him.
"I can't dance Duo." I slipped my arms around his waist regardless.
"Everyone can dance Trowa, even if they've never done it before, it's…..its there, always." he rested his head against my shoulder, face buried in my neck.
"You mean like a primal instinct?" I couldn't tear my eyes off Duo.
"Primal?" he mumbled from the crook of my neck.
"I mean basic, like always been there?" I felt him nod.
"Yeah, primal." he whispered.
His eyelashes tickled my neck and I fought hard not to laugh. Even if there wasn't music, I'd probably still have danced with him though. Like I said, there's probably nothing I wouldn't do for him. So long as I could see him smile and feel his touch.
"Hey Duo?"
"Hm-mm?" he lifted his head from my shoulder, his lips mere inches from my own.
"Thanks." I rested my forehead against his.
"For what?" he spun us around a bit.
"For bringing me here, it means a lot to me."
"It does?" he seemed a bit confused.
"Yeah, it does." I lightly laughed and pulled him tighter against me and I heard him gasp.
He pulled his head abruptly from mine and blinked, looking both left and right. "I think I need to go."
"I didn't mean-" he smiled at me again and "shushed" me.
"Silly, it's not you…..I just have to go." he laughed in a childlike manner and quickly kissed me on the lips and ran off.
I brought my right hand to my lips and touched them. That was my first kiss. I knew my eyes were wide I was so shocked. I guess it never occurred to me that Duo might have those kinds of thoughts, feelings, needs. But then again, maybe it was all primal instinct.
"Trowa?" the voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. "Are you ok, you look out of it?"
I could feel myself smile, "Yeah I'm fine Ebony."
"I thought you didn't want to play?" she walked over to me.
"I uh……had to pee." if that damn excuse worked for Heero it could work for me.
"Eeew you couldn't wait!" her face contorted into funny expression.
"Don't worry, I sort of got lost and forgot." I started walking back the way she came.
"Trowa, I'm sorry!" she yelled from behind me.
"For what?" I turned and looked at her, arching an eyebrow for affect hoping it came off as if I thought she was stupid or weird.
"For everyone trying to push us together, I know it probably ruined your night……so I'm sorry." she looked back at me as if she didn't trust me at all.
"I'm not gonna do anything to you so stop giving me that look. And you don't have to apologize, just make sure you stop flirting. It's annoying, especially if it's unwelcome." I started walking back and she fell into step with me.
"I'll stop flirting, but you have to tell me who you were with." her smile reminded me of a demon out of game I'd once played.
"How do you know if I was with someone?" I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest.
"What other reason would a guy have to smile like that?" she sounded stuck up, like she knew what she was talking about. Fuck she's pissing me off. But maybe she might know who Duo was.
"Masturbation."
"Ug don't be so vulgar!" she threw her hands in the air and started walking faster to get away from me.
"If I say something you promise not to tell anyone?" she stopped in her tracks.
"No."
"Damnit!"
"I'm joking, God don't get so testy!" she leaned against a tree.
"Well don't be such a bitch." I growled at her.
"Geez stop being such a guy! Are you gonna tell me or not because if you're not I'm going." she looked at me expectantly.
XXX
When we finally got back to the bonfire Heero and the others were asleep. Ebony and I were sitting on top of the huge rock swinging our legs over the edge. She'd been quite ever since I finished my story. Maybe she thought I was crazy too. Delusional even.
"Just say something. Anything!" I clenched my fists.
"You're gay, no wonder you don't want me. I mean at first I thought it was me, come on I'm hot, but I mean if you like guys that so explains it."
"Fuck you, I'm not gay!" I wanted to push her off the rock.
"Do you like spending time with him?" she didn't seem bothered by my outburst.
"Well yeah." I looked down at the sand. I suddenly I felt uncomfortable.
"How do you feel when he looks at you?" I knew she was looking at me and I couldn't bring myself to stare back at her.
"Like the very core of my soul is on fire." I felt my face heat up. "I mean-!"
She cut me off, "I think you're in love."
"Aw crap." I laid back and dug the heel of my hands into my eyes.
"Maybe you're bi?" I heard her move.
"Touch me and you'll be the first girl I've ever shoved off a rock."
XXX
On our way home Heero was trying to shake sand from his hair. He apologized for trying to force "Eb" on me, said he was only trying to help. I told him to fuck off. My aunt fed us and I read some more before we were told to finally go to sleep. Lying in bed that night I couldn't help but let my fingers trace my lips. Maybe……..I was falling in love. God I'm so terrified.
XXX
A/N: Sorry for the wait. I did say I wrote when inspiration struck, I just don't want it coming off as forced is all. But on the bright side I've got most of the end done, so when time comes you won't have to wait too long for that one.
Big thanks to my reviewer. It means a lot to me!