Chapter Nine: Waking from the Dream
[SCHU]
6:06 am. He's sleeping.
This is the first time we've actually slept together, his head resting on the crook of my shoulder and eartails tickling my chest; his naked body curled up next to mine, his breathing deep and even.
We made the usual mess of the bed and then, instead of getting up and tossing me my clothes as expected, he simply wrapped his arm around my chest and drifted off to sleep, as if we were lovers. Which I suppose, in a strange way, we are. I mean, I guess we've passed the level of fuck-buddies if he's letting me spend the night.
It's surprising how peaceful he looks when he's sleeping. His mouth is stretched into a delicate smile, and he looks blissfully untroubled. I move my right arm from his back and stroke his fine silky hair, and kiss the top of his head, amazed at the trust he is putting in me. I mean, I could kill him right here, right now, couldn't I?
*But you won't* A teasing voice pipes up inside my head.
Shut up.
*You're probably going to have to, you know.* Now _that_ voice I definitely want to go away. Stupid conscience. It's the last thing that I want to think about now when I'm in bed with someone who actually trusts me with his life.
I'm not used to being trusted. I mean, really, I'm not a very trustworthy guy, am I? Maybe he's just lonely, or desperate. Or both. At any rate, he really aught to know better. What the hell is he thinking? I suppose it really wouldn't hurt to take a quick peek inside and find out...
Closing my eyes and resting my arm on his back pulling him closer to my chest, I slip inside his dream.
// "NO!" A scream, reverberating off the walls of the kitchen in Weiss' new flat in Kyoto.
"Ran, no!" It came again, louder this time, and more insistent. "Don't, please!" Ken shouted in a panicked voice, reaching over to bat Ran's hand away from the pot lid. Too late, his hand smashed into Ran's, both of which came down hard on handle, sending the pot sailing off the stove, landing with a loud crash.
Yohji and Omi poked their heads into the kitchen, wanting to catch a glimpse of whatever it was which was making Ken screech. The sight which greeted their eyes made Yohji double over with laughter and Omi run for his camera.
Ran, who looked fit to kill someone, was sporting splotches of reddish-brown sauce all over his favourite bright orange sweater. Ken, who was equally sauce covered, was leaning over the door to the oven, fanning smoke which came billowing out.
"I TOLD you not to go near the stove! I knew it was awful, and I didn't want to let the smell out!"
"What the hell were you trying to do, anyway?" Omi asked, clicking away.
"Cook dinner! I wanted to try something different, and I remembered Aya saying that he liked spaghetti, so I tried to bake some noodles and make sauce..." Ken hesitantly looked into Ran's eyes. "I'm sorry about your shirt..."
Yohji straightened up and joined the conversation. "Good riddance, I say! You've done us a favour, Ken, by doing away with that thing."
Ran's tone was icy in his reply. "For your information, Yohji, I happen to have three more in my closet."
Silence fell over the kitchen for a moment, as everyone waited for Ran's rage to break over them all. Omi cowered behind Yohji, and Ken tried to make himself disappear behind the large potted fern near the kitchen door.
Ran turned, walking toward his Ken, coming to a stop scarce inches from where the boy was quivering. "As for you..." He leaned over, whispering in Ken's ear, "we're going to have to get out of these dirty clothes, hmm?" Ran's expression cracked and he dissolved into laughter.
Ken's sigh of relief was audible, and as he surveyed the damage, he broke out in giggles. "I tried so hard..." he mourned.
"...and you failed so miserably." Ran choked out, drawing Ken into an embrace.
"Yohji, I think we should go out for pizza..." Omi yanked the older man out of the kitchen and away from the sound of Ran and Ken's laughter... //
Hmm...I open my eyes as the vision leaves me with Ran's waking. So that's the Ran that Weiss lost. The Ran I never had a chance to meet.
Is he still inside the man who is resting at my side?
[RAN]
A comforting warmth surrounds me as I come out of the first full night's sleep and I've had in ages, the delicious smell and feel of another body pressed up against mine filling my senses with pleasure. "Mmmm..." I nuzzle my head against the strong chest for a second, reveling in this feeling of waking up with a lover.
Ken. It's been so long...I love you so much...
Wait a minute. Since when did Ken have orange hair?
"Morning, red. You're just up in time to milk the cows. Shall I have cook fix us a breakfast?"
***
A half an hour and a tryst later, Schuldig sits up an speaks, all playfulness gone from his voice. "Aya, there's something we need to talk about."
Why do I suddenly feel so tense? I get up in bed so that we are facing each other. This sounds serious. "It's what you said last night, right? About 'the powers that be?' "
"Yes. Aya, I'm not sure what's going on. Crawford..." He paused, drawing a deep breath. It's as if he's nervous or something. A strange state in which to see Schuldig.
"What about Crawford?"
"Umm...let me level with you. Crawford wants me to watch you."
What the fuck? He's here because Crawford sent him? That explains a lot, I suppose. "I see." I hold my voice steady, not letting my rage slip out. Lying son of a bitch.
"Well, actually, you don't. Crawford wants me to watch you, not fuck you. I'm his lover."
Hmph!
"Well, you sure get around."
"You don't know the half of it...Anyway, that's not what's important here, right? What is, is whatever he's got up his sleeve. And I don't know what it is, only that it's about you. They've been having meetings, they're planning something."
"Who's 'they?'"
"I'm not exactly sure...but they're powerful, red. I'm guessing that it's whatever was left over from Estet. And they've got their eye on you."
"Through you."
"Yes." His eyes flicker downward, almost as if he's ashamed to be working as their spy or something. Well, I don't know why I'm surprised. A leopard never changes his spots, right?
"What exactly do you propose I do about it?"
"Get that pretty sister of yours and get the hell out of Japan."
What?! "Why the fuck should I do that?"
"Because otherwise you might wind up joining your parents in the Fujimiya family plot."
I hiss, the mention of my parents biting. "I don't...I don't believe you."
"Why the hell would I lie?" He meets my gaze again, his eyes earnest. That's an interesting point. I mean, what would he have to gain by getting me out of the picture?
Weiss. He must be after Weiss, and with me out of town...well, we all know how well they held up without me when they were on the run from just about every police officer on Honshu. Schwartz must be after Weiss again, heaven knows why, and call me conceited, but without me, they'd be an easy target. Inwardly, however, my confidence fades as images flood my senses which fly in the face of my strength.
"I...I can take care of myself, and my sister."
No, you can't! You're weak! You've been taken advantage of before, you know how easy it is to be used!
Yes, I can. I can do this. If my sister is threatened, or if Weiss is a target, I can give my life to save them. What good can I do anyone if I run like a scared rabbit?
But isn't that what I'm doing now?
No. This is different. I'm not running, I'm surviving. I can't turn back, but I can watch them from a distance. As long as they are in my sight, I can keep them safe. That doesn't mean I have to rejoin them.
Satisfied with my reasoning, I look back at Schuldig, who appears anxious. "I'll stay here. As for you, I think it's about time you found the door." I get off the bed, heading for the bathroom, ignoring the apparent hurt on his face. I grab his pants on my way and throw them at his feet. "And tell your lover that he's going to have to find a better way to get rid of me than by sending me his whore."
As the shower scalds my skin, I hear the slam of the front door, followed by the echo of his voice within my head.
*It's not over with us, you know. Not by a long shot. Don't say I didn't warn you.*
~~`~,~@