Dedicated to the Marauders and A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GENERAL ALLIE-ALLIE! Okay at the count of three, all together now! One, two, three- Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you… Wait! What am I thinking, I stink at singing….

A/N- Okay here we go! Chapter 10! Finally here- but I feel it's quite long w/ a good deal of different random ideas! To separate them you will see phrases from different songs… Don't worry it's not a song story or anything but sets a bit of moods…
(that's what you get when you type and listen to your I-pod at the same time!) I hope it's not too annoying! Don't worry it's just a one time thing! I am so excited for eleven! I have been brain storming that one for a LONG time now! But onto chapter ten!

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Lyrics removed now! If you'd like to know what they where just e-mail me! I don't want to… but I guess this is just the way it'll have to work!

With a silver flash, she saw something that made her heart stumble a few beats or fall or something such as that, her jaw drop, and feel as if all emotion had left her, and all she could do was mutter, "Oh James don't do this to me."

James' P.O.V.

Lily has been completely avoiding me for the past week now. This is nothing new for me, the part that is new is that I usually know why… but this time I honestly don't have the faintest clue. She has gone so far into the avoiding me thing, the only time she surpasses herself to give me even a passing glance it is filled with so much hate and disgust it is unrecognizable and undistinguishable as the bright green eyes of a red head I desperately wanted.

The only thing wrong is I don't know why! We were so happy or at least content with one another's company just after the Quiditch match, which takes off my leading guesses as to why. This is unbearable I swear! It's hard to explain- but it's easier when she hated me before…

But James Potter will not let that get in the way of his seventh year! I led the Quiditch practices to perfection, only my thoughts kept going to how cut e she looked when she was excited after they won thinking If I ever win another match Lily- even play another I'll dedicate it to you-, I went on my rounds like I should- only she always left without me, -but that never stopped me from following behind her, better safe then sorry-, and the marauder in me kept on with the pranks, they where smaller ones for now on no one in particular, but we wanted to waver the anticipation… -but that voice in my head kept repeating, that's why Lily hated you, that's why Lily couldn't stand you.

But tomorrow would be the Halloween feast- she'd have to speak to me then, even in the most business like manor.

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"Potter," Lily snapped at James the night before Halloween.

"Lils?" James asked astounded by her approaching him.

" We will have to prepare for the feast right after lunch." She said formally making to step away.

"Lily?"

"What do you want Potter?"

She was calling me Potter again… That caused him to pause.

"Don't waste my time Potter!" she muttered before walking on.

---

James sat down for lunch on the Gryffindor table next to the other Marauders. There was exactly 38 minutes to go until he would be in the Grand Hall with Lily- by himself, while she was furious with him- not a good combo.

Finishing their kidney pie all three wished him luck and walked out to 'study potions- can you believe it's almost end of the quarter!' 'Check up with 'fill in random name of the recent flavor of the week' or 'nothing, just hang around'.

James sat in the back of the table where Lily was hanging around on the opposite side muttering furiously to Mia about something- three guesses who, what and why. As soon as the last first year Hufflepuff left (more because of the evil glances the heads were sending their way then the fact that they finished eating or anything), Lily went to work by putting charms on candles to make the flame continue (not one that would last for eternity, but a simpler version of the same thing- but still impressive) and change colors to purple where they belonged in sequence. James automatically put unbreakable charms on pumpkins and sent them floating in air. They worked in utter silence for the next three hours. It was torture for both, to spend four hours in there (you see James gave up after the first hour).

During this whole time James thought nothing more then how amazing it was that Lily was so organized, so precise, and so perfect. After setting a mist around the room- a interesting affect, cheap, but got the job done, Lily muttered something about having to go get changed into her Hogwarts' robes.

James sighed and decided to get the same thing done, but both went a different way to the common room.

The whole way he thought how it would be if they where just on speaking terms- nothing more then that. It would have been fun almost if nothing else. They could have laughed on how it would have to be so much better, they where Gryffindors in fact. They would have pretended each pumpkin to be the head of a different teacher, and would have at least spent three hours in the company of a friend

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Lily and James sat at the back of the Great Hall waiting for Dumbledore to announce the end of the feast.

"Well, that had been a marvelous feast- but before we go, the head boy and girl have come with a bit of entertainment to end our night off with!"

Both stood apart on opposite sides of the hall, wands pointed at the enchanted ceiling, what they would do was anybody's guess, but nobody would have guessed indoor fireworks.

Sparks of brilliant red and gold lasted and lingered on (with a couple of green and silvers here and there but nothing extreme, what do you expect when you have two heads from the same house?)

It wasn't exactly highly advanced magic- even if it was both where more than capable of completing it. It might have been easy magic for them, but even the 'mature' seventh years found themselves as engrossed as a two year old on the Fourth of July. After they ended an applause rang the hall (even from some Slytherins…) and suddenly there was a stage shown up in front of the teachers- where a band (rated number one on the WWN showed up) and cheers and squeals from different genders started up, giving the head girl, Lily Evans an enough time to leave the hall without any one noticing, or so she thought.

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"Lily!" he yelled following her out into the hallway.

"What would you like Potter?" she blew up.

"What I want Evans is a bit of an explanation!"

"About what?"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?" she screamed back

"You have been avoiding me," he yelled back. "Why? Is it because of what happened with the Slytherins Lily? Because it's killing me inside not telling- or doing anything to them back!"

Lily just stared at James serenely like he just answered 6 to the question 2+2.

"Why? Lily I need to know!"

"I don't know Prongs," she answered coolly and stomped away.

James stood there for a second gaping- then connected the dots.

"Li…Lil…Lily, why did you call me Prongs?" his heart beating so loud he was sure she could hear it.

"Well isn't that what your little friends call you, and isn't that what we were acting like- friends?"

"But… Did you find anything out?" he asked trying to be casual- hoping she wouldn't realize the sweat that was quickly developing on his forehead.

"What? Nothing of importance to you…"

He let out a sigh of relief and his pace began to slow down.

"Why should it be important to you that a guy I care for had been running around campus as an unregistered-"

James clapped his hand on her mouth and she let out a muffled sound in out rage, until they moved out of the corridors into a closet where he let her rant on- not knowing what to expect, but knowing it wouldn't be pleasant and that he deserved every bit of it…

"HOW could you be so imprudent, do you have NO conscience, no judgment what-so-ever!"?

"Lily can you please let me explain?"

"No Potter! There is nothing to explain! But, wait tell me- how where you planning on explaining to your mother that you have a life sentence in Azkaban because you wanted to have a bit of fun pranking kids around school?"

"Lils…"

"Don't you Lils me you git! Now listen up- you need to hear this! I'm guessing you're not the only one! So is the rest of your little group- what are your conceited names? Oh yes, the Marauders able to do this too?"

James stared blankly at his shoes, so many thoughts rushing through his head as he ran a finger through his hair (something he tried very hard not to do all year).

"Do you realize how criminally dangerous being an unregistered one is! You could have gotten killed, or stuck with antlers on your head for the rest of your life! You could have gotten blown up- it's suicide! Did you even think for a moment? Oh no I remember now, you don't think!" she shrieked,

James desperately wondered if they could hear them at the Great Hall, no the band was too loud… thank goodness that man could play a mean violin (a phrase you don't happen to hear too often now-a-days…)

"Look at me Potter! I thought you changed! But this proves to be the most immature thing possible! And don't worry your precious head over it!" She saw that his face had become pale with fear. "I won't tell anyone! It's not my place! But just think who else could have seen- you'd be blackmailed for life- framed whatever!"

"Lily-"

"Shut up Potter- I don't want to hear it!"

"No Lily," James started to get a little angry himself, "I think you need to hear me out."

"Fine go on, quickly, but your wasting your breath and my time."

"We had a REASON to- a real reason Lily."

"Fine let me hear it!"

"The only thing is I can't tell you."

"Oh that's just GREAT, how CONVENIENT for you! 'I can't tell you why I'm such a big-headed egotistical jerk who cares more about having fun and goofing off then anything else'!"

"That's not true."

"Oh yes- you're right, it's because you have a reason, only for some strange reason you can't tell me! I can guess you will eventually- that's when you come up with one! I always thought you where good at improp too!"

"I can't tell you Lily," he then whispered, "because it's not my reason to tell."

"Just tell me Potter- you're a stag, what about Black, Lupin and Pettigrew? Can they become anything? Just spill- I'll find out anyways- it's quite easy to distinguish a normal animal from an aminigus so just tell me."

"Yes,"Was all James could say.

"WHAT?" She forced his most precious secrets he stayed so to loyal over the years.

"Dog, rat."

"That's it? That's only three Potter! Well, it is WELL advanced magic," she muttered slightly impressed- trying no to show it, embellishing more on her anger, "I expect Peter might…"

"Lupin's not one."

"So he listened to the rules… that's why I thought you were horrible for the position you're selfish and heartless Potter! Could you imagine what could have happened? I guess Remus could… that's why… Oh my…"

"What?" James muttered coolly.

"Remus is, isn't he?"

"What?" James asked slightly interested now.

"I always guessed you know, but I never thought it right to go up and say- 'Oh, hey by the way Remus.' I figured it was, but terribly hoped it wasn't true. I can't believe it…" she muttered not shouting anymore.

"You figured what out?" James was truly in shock… and troubled.

"Yes- it was kinda obvious, his mo- I've seen his mom, she doesn't look that sick at all, she'd be on her death bed all the times she was, and he looked so tired afterwards… and the Bogart! But, there could have always been other explanations… like that it wasn't…" she muttered passing the closet. "And you then… Oh, oh, oh… this is crazy! YOU had to be crazy! Didn't you realize, that, that…."

And now James Potter realized why Lily Evans had been avoiding her for that whole time- and knew deep inside that she was right… that she knew more then he would ever want anyone to know outside of The Marauders, and that she reacted how she should have- but the only thing was, James wished she wouldn't have.

And now she was going on about bites, and how-bad it-would-make-Remus-feel- and-how-they-would-have-to-live-with-the-guilt-the-rest-of-their-lives.

"And what do we do now Lily?" James spoke in a low scratchy voice, not sarcastically- but seriously with remorse even.

"I don't know Potter! You and your little friends should work out another wonderful scheme and what not… but you can't leave Remus to do it on his own again." She admitted grudgingly.

"No, I mean us."

"Huh? There's no 'us', there's never even been an 'us'! You can't talk about what to do next with an "us", if there was never anything before it! It's chronologically impossible! You have to be kidding me! I'll tell you what we do… We do nothing!"

"Why are you doing this Lily? I know I was wrong- but we haven't got caught before and well, what are you thinking Lily?" he sighed.

"But I did! What if there are other people who know- but just won't confront you! But, that isn't the point Potter; can we just, just be on speaking terms, strictly business speaking terms?"

James' hear literally fell, after all those years- he finally felt this would be it the year, Gryffindor Quiditch captain, head boy and Lily Evans… and now could you guess witch one he honestly wanted the most? The one he would give anything up for? Which one, well, it was the same one who he sighed to, nodded his head grudgingly thinking nothing more then 10 steps backwards…

But the only thing was that he couldn't continue wooing her like he did in fifth year- continuously running around asking her out, and playing pranks on her, things where to different now, to many things happened, she was different. He was different.

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It was hard to explain how the next month was like. It can most detail, and honestly be described in four stages. The first being complete shock for James (that lasting about an hour), the second being the one where James tried to get Lily to notice him again (not as desperately as he would have in fifth year or anything but still little 'Hey Evans, whatchya doin'?'). The third stage became the realization that things would never ever be the same again, and maybe it wasn't worth it (it only made Lily hate his guts even more, the sickening expression said it the best. The forth and final step (for now) was when both where oddly formal, and polite to one another.

--

It was almost two weeks after Halloween and James had just come back from patrolling with Lily and flopped down on the bed. Patrolling behind Lily more like it!

He flipped over and looked at pictures on his bedside table.

A casual family picture of a tall man with his own head of messy hair next to a little six-year-old with a matching hair style along with a pretty woman with a hair full of brown curls where waving enthusiastically at him, while the little boy continued to point to a giraffe behind where they where posing.

Beside that there was another type of family picture- of four fifteen-year-old boys in their Hogwarts robes smiling smugly at the camera. A very good looking tall one leaning against another with messy hair both laughing as they twirled their wands, a sandy haired boy smiling honestly shaking his head at the other two while another pudgy one looked on and burst out laughing at random time.

Lastly was one with snow everywhere and the wizard picture showed the same messy haired boy at sixteen chasing a pretty flustered red head around the grounds of Hogwarts with a piece of missile-toe. She kept turning back and tried to throw snowballs back at him- but he was too fast for her and quickly tackled her and she grudgingly left a quick peck on his cheek and then started laughing.

She may have hated him- but she never really loathed him as much as she said she did. It was hard to explain- he teased her- she shouted back- but they never where sworn enemies in the way they were with the Slytherins. They where even able to be friends this year. But James knew that it would never happen now, after what he did, it wouldn't – even arguing would b be better, at least they would be talking and responding to one another…. The only thing was this year, besides being friends, James felt that he now knew why her smiles gave him butterflies- when he would normally be able to ask her out bluntly in front of the whole Grand Hall… It was because he felt that this was something a whole lot stronger- but what could happen now, when she didn't even want to look at him.

James would have given anything to change this. Anything. He didn't know what to do. The reason being was that he only knew half the problem.

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It was the first week in December (meaning the fourth stage), and the two heads where holding a prefect meeting in the Prefect lounge (yes prefects do get a lounge room- what they do in there to this day is not exactly sure…)

"Hufflepuff- Folger."

"Here." replied a sandy haired fifth year.

"Well- that's every one," Lily stated looking up from her notebook. "This meeting is held so we can decide what we are going to do for winter break, including decorations and some sort of activity."

"We need to split decorating time up as well so you and your co-head can just sign up in one of the blocks afterwards." James started. "So does anyone have any suggestions?"

A sixth year spoke up excitedly in a dreamy voice, "How about a ball for Christmas day! That would be so cool, fun, festive and romantic!"

Lily just stared poison at the poor little blond idiot, so naïve, so young… "Well, I thought since we we're planning something for the end of the year- how about we do something a bit more casual? Something for New Years maybe?"

"OOO!" squealed the girl clearly not getting the point. "A masquerade and we can all take our masks off at midnight! That would be so amazing!"

James cut in seeing Lily's obviously disgusted face, "That does seem a bit cliché." He winked as the girl swooned (kind of). " "But a nice count down party seems fun- food and music? Nothing over board though."

"Sounds good- meaning we can go home for the Holidays and come back later?" spoke up a sixth year.

"Sure- the regular students can, I guess we can get an early train ride- it's been done before… But do you want us back earlier lily?" spoke up some other fifth year.

"James and I will have to think it out- but so our we pretty much agreed unanimously?" She smiled. James could live through a million arguments with lily- but that gentle smile would always get to him.

A bit of groaning but mostly nodding occurred. As the prefects left the two heads started to clean up around the room- straightening up random papers. It was awkward…

"Right ole slobs these prefects are…" James said as Lily politely laughed at his pathetic attempt at small talk.

"True…"

"Lily I can't take this anymore!"

"James," she warned almost threaten like.
"No- I have to say it now. Please Lily- you are killing me!"

Her face looked shocked at what he said- and his words slightly pained her.

"Lily Evans I need you in my life! I do! I keep having… I just want one more chance Lily… just one more…. Please let me show you I'm better then my mistakes!"

"What the heck Potter!" she answered getting angry. "You know what- all these years did you ever realize that you never even knew me?"

"Know you? Lily I know you all right?"

"How?"

"Lily Kirsten Evans I know that you where born on April 19th- that you have an older sister that is a Muggle, and you two have continuous arguments, but you love her anyways, I know that you are right handed, love to read anything, and even though you are in Hogwarts it's hard to find you without a Jane Austin, Charlotte Bronte or Shakespeare in your hand. That you secretly still read fairy tales every now and then, for laughs, but wish that they might actually be real!

"I know that you have a sweet tooth, but don't care for chocolate much, that you write letters to your family every Thursday, that your father calls you his little Lily of the Valley, though lilies and lily of the valleys are completely different types of flowers… I know that you and Mia tend to give each other practically identical gifts for Christmas, that you and Frank have play checkers never chess! I know that your once turned a boy's hair into a shade of blue when he made fun of another kid- and no one could explain why. I know you stick up for people Lily, that you're a good person, that you're the type of person who has made me crazy- in the good way- for the past six years… and you keep grudges Lily, and I know right now that you hate me- very much. But I know I don't blame you, but never say I don't know you Lily!"

At first she paused a little oddly shocked, then she gave him a puzzled look and muttered, "What have you been doing Potter, stalking me?"

That could have been as bad as slapping him- no worse.

"No Lily Kirsten Evans, they are just things I thought every man should now about the woman he loves." He spoke softly not once taking his eyes off hers. Here he was pouring his hear out to her, and all she could do was stare, not cry, respond or yell- just stare.

Lily could only gap as he walked out- closing the door softly behind him. She was always the one to leave first, but that wasn't what bothered her until now, He never used that L word with her this year until just now… It was scary, but she had no doubt in her mind that he was one hundred percent serious. There were very few fibers in her mind that didn't want to run after him- to tell him that she didn't hate him.

That the truth was well different to that- that she loved his smile his laugh, that she missed it terribly, that he was a wonderful friend and she missed that. But the parts of her that thought differently had a strong reason to keep her feet glued to that spot. Her patronus- his animagus form… she was scared about what that meant, yes Lily Evans was scared about what that meant.

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"Hey Ami!" Lily called as she plopped herself next to her best friend. It was a week until Christmas break and freezing outside, the grounds a thick blanket of white.

"Lils," she nodded laughing. A small tan owl made his way to Lily and dropped a letter that was aiming for her porridge, but she caught it in time. She ripped the Muggle envelope open.

Dear Lily (of the valley),

Your father and I have to ask you a huge favor. We know our head girl was suppose to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays because of her duties (and her frantic sister's upcoming wedding maybe?) But we need to ask something very important of you love. We were hoping you could stay at Great-Aunt Cassidy's house in Devon for the first half of break? Knowing my little girl we assume yes, after reaching the platform take this ticket for a train ride to Devon. Thank you love, she's been awfully lonely but we're so busy preparing for Tunias wedding! We'll miss you like crazy! You are honestly the best! I'm so sorry it had to be like this, but we'll make it up this summer! Remember I know your father's aunt can be a little, err… bossy and ironic at times but she loves you girls, and I'm sure it will mean a lot to her!

Tons and tons of love,

Mum

Lily read this and groaned.

"What?"

Lily threw the paper at Mia and as Mia glanced over it her face fell.

"Awe Lils I'm sorry, I'm sure it'll be all right."

"But I can't leave you here with these… these fellow seventh year Gryffindor boys!"

"What about us?" Sirius called sitting next to Mia. "Yes we already know- we're charming and diviner, what else is new?"

"See what I mean!"

"It'll be fine! James tell her it'll be fine!"

"Um…" James responded sitting across from Lily and next to Frank. "It'll be fine! What'll be fine?"

The letter that was circling the table skipped a few people and made it's way to James, "Don't worry Lily, you can just come back on the early train- the party will be fine."

At least he's talking to me normally now.

"Thanks, but that's not it," she groaned. "It's just that my great-aunt is kind of… well she hates me…"

"The letter seems to contradict that," Frank answered fairly.

"Whatever…"

"Oh go and have fun in Muggle Devon Lillikins, without your friends, magic, Jamsie Wamsi Poo." Sirius started (James winced- and not only because of the pet name). "And when you come back I promise our dear Jamsie will be back to his old pranking marauder womanizer ways."

"I'm not a womanizer!" James answered defiantly.

"Yes you are." Sirius said knowledgably.

"Okays…" James muttered his head dropping to his hands from the lack of sleep. They all responded to full moons differently. Sirius was extra hyper, Peter was still asllep and James… well James was always different. Lily looked at him questionably as to say full moon? He nodded as she quickly left his gaze. That was another source of his insomnia…

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Thanks you guys!

Pottervirgo- Yay!

Spygirl4747- Did you like what happened? I never even made it to the spelling bee! (I think I might have once- I don't remember! But I was on list C- which was the highest level, thank goodness we don't have sp. Tests anymore! But that was completely random! Sorry!) Thanks!

Life is crazy- So it was a cliffy! Yes I knew I could do it!

Mae-Gene- Oh the Slytherins will pay… it's all about when! Thanks for your review! It was awesome, like always! There's going to be a lot of Lily emotions in the next chapter! Poor girl…

Cylobaby- Oh! I feel so bad! That was just a joke- I didn't mean that you where suppose to read or anything! But thanks for the review! (Honestly I wouldn't drink punch anywhere! Lol)

General Muffin- KELS YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST! (I do not have a crush on anyone you moron!)

Rimmy- YOU ARE SO NICE! You'd have done awesome writing with me, but thanks all the same! LOL!

A/N- So whatdya think? It's weird and different I know! But believe me I know where I'm going! YES I DO! I hope you weren't too bored or anything! It get's better in my opinion, but mine doesn't matter very much! Your does my wonderful readers so I hope you review and offer me you suggestions/ comments/ advice and what not! I love them so much! Sorry for the slight wait! But next chapter will be coming VERY soon! I'm so excited about what will happen! There are so many things to look foreword to! Oh how annoying were the songs? I really thought the chapter called for it! Don't expect many more (don't sue to anyone who it may concern!) But I love some songs, and when I listen to them they remind me so much of this story, well you get the idea…. YOU GUYS ROCK! I look SO foreword to reviews! I practically squeal…lol!

Like always,

TajM

/ You know you want to!