A/N: Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! And also, thank you to the reviewer whose name isn't coming to me and who I'm too lazy to look up (sorry!) who's reviewed nearly every chapter! Since I have no sevvie-sense this entire chapter once again gets a shout-out to Dani, who is one of the most fantabulous people ever!
I despise children. They're noisy whining little brats until they're fourteen and then they're noisy, whiny despicably self-righteous little brats until they die. Sadly, I like my life more. I like Vernon Dursley a great deal less than I like either children or my life.
"There's police you know, even for you people. They'll find you, and they'll set us free," now, I really do doubt that anyone would set this pitiful lot loose on society. Especially Potter. I do wonder if I can work sending them into Azkaban for the rest of their natural lives into the deal for his sons. Well, perhaps that would be a bit ambitious. That Weasley girl might do it though; they've always been a loyal type. Idiots.
"Get back, Vernon!" The woman shrieked, in that hysterical voice of hers. For someone with such a lovely sister, she's a wonder. Hideous, actually, that hair is quite clearly fake, and her voice is so ridiculously shrill. I'm amazed even her oaf of a husband has stayed with her this long. Well, I suppose if a woman would stay with me, anything is possible.
But she didn't, did she? No, Narcissa Black had to marry Lucius Malfoy and pump out a pureblooded brood. Pity about no one knowing she was barren, though, it's a miracle they had the one child. Lucius always did say that he was lucky for it anyway, cited the history of dynastic wars in the family. Stopped all the inbreeding, killing each other off, if you ask me. Besides, that little snot of a boy could have done with a good beating from time to time.
Of course I always hated him, why wouldn't I? The only woman I ever felt a thing for had a child with the man who tormented me all through school for not being good enough to join his little gang of favorites. And, then, she had the nerve to make the child my godson, followed by the even greater nerve of raising him to be a spoiled betraying hopelessly inept wretch. I'll give her that she had a backbone of steel, at the very least.
It's because Narcissa's dead that I'm here now, in an odd way. It's maudlin, but I want to be able to go to her grave whenever I wish, even more than I don't want to go to Azkaban. I miss her, very much. For the first, childless, four years of her marriage, we hardly saw one another and then, only at formal occasions. Narcissa was ridiculously chaste then, wouldn't touch me or anyone else but her husband. After Draco was born though, they both took up their affairs, provided Draco never found out about them. Lucius was more varied in his conquests than Narcissa, as far as I know, I was the only one. But, Gods, the woman was a talented liar.
"My nephew will come save us!" The man screamed again. Why on earth does he feel he must screech? I do speak English, honestly. Just because I haven't felt predisposed to say all that much, it doesn't mean I'm mute.
"Your nephew abhors you, Mr. Dursley," I said, leaning back into the couch. "Now, if you'd get those dratted children and tend to whatever they want, perhaps I won't silence you. Oh, and tell your oaf of a son to turn whatever noise he's making now off."
"I will do no such thing!"
"Fine then," I said, making a leisurely reach for my wand, "as you wish."
"I'll go, I'll go, just don't use that thing on Vernon!" The wife said, and rushed out of the room. From down the corridor you could hear the sounds of her speaking to whichever one of the Potter brats it was. "Now, now, let's calm down, I'm sure whoever and wherever your mother is will be here to fetch you eventually."