Don't Let Me Catch You Being an Idiot Again

So sorry for the bit of a delay before I started on this chapter and I'm quite sure it will end up to be pretty short but the thing is even though I have been working on QoF (my new fic please check it out! Yes that was a bit of shameless self promotion) but I have been continuously thinking about SS! I had come to a crossroad in this story (hey guys I'm SERIOUS- no pun intended o course) with 2 options I had so creatively dubbed option A.) and B.) (hey at least it wasn't 1 and 2!) But as much as option two was so tempting I know that a good deal of readers would get REALLY mad (mainly you Kels) so I went with A! So please sit back and read this short and sweet chapter (option A!) and please continue reading because the best is yet to come…!

Dedicated to those HMS- hold it HHS Marauders! Miss ya tons and tons! And to all the awesome readers and reviewers who have been reading SS (sorry I cannot reply to everyone indivisibly because I really like doing it but because of certain new rules I've been told about…) I appreciate it so much! More then you probably know! 200… WOW… not in my wildest dreams (well maybe in an extremely wild one… ;)

Would've been posted earlier if my internet cooperated:)

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He didn't want to do it… he couldn't do it… but after what Dumbledore told him he really thought he must do it. Dumbledore didn't tell him to- didn't even hint it, probably wouldn't even want him to… but if anything ever happened how would he live with the guilt? The guilt and the pain… but how was he suppose to deal with the guilt and the pain he'd get now? Not only from turning away from his greatest comforter but from something that was just so right. But he knew it would be better this way… she'd move on, right? But it would be just him watching her do so…

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James entered the empty common room late at night and saw a silhouette sitting next to the fire place with a thick book open in her lap.

How was it that Lily and him tended to have the common room to themselves so often? Really hundreds of Gryffindor students and there always seemed to be the two of them there… And normally that would be fine. Really it would be much more then fine. But today it means that he would not be able to put off what he thought he must do a moment longer but as she turned around and caught his eyes with her shining emerald ones his stomach churned and felt the most horrible sinking feeling ever. How the Hell did he ever think he could do this?

"Hey Potter," she called over to him.

"Lily," he nodded nervously. He hadn't been nervous around Lily- ever- except once in their second year when he pulled her hair so hard that she fell back on top of him.

Second year, after six years of always being her admirer they'd come so far. He loved her more then he ever thought possible. Sure then it was a crush but now he'd never felt like this before. It was unbearable to think about but he'd have to do it fast.

He sunk down onto his knees next to her and cleared his throat and said in a pained voice (all he could muster) and croaked out, "L-il-y."

"Good job James. Going on seven years and you finally figured out my name," she laughed then looked at him in a concerned manor. "Really James are you okay… you know after your er… meeting with Dumbledore and all?"

"I have to tell you something." How could he do this? He was no quitter- neither was she. Lily wouldn't take it… no he's just flattering himself… she was so amazing, she'd do so much better then the messed up him.

And he couldn't tell her WHY because if he did she may just want to stay with him- that is if she actually liked him in that way but once again that would be like flattering himself… he was so messed up… he truly was.

"Yes?" she smiled patiently urging him to go on. Her smile- that tantalizing smile he'd seen since first year- and since first year had made him go week in the knees.

"Lily I don't think we can go out anymore," he blurted out quickly then looked away at something-anything else then her eyes. Whatever reaction he expected, her slapping him, yelling at him, stomping away, what he didn't expect is what she really did.

She laughed.

"Why ever not James, are you here to tell me you're homosexual or something? No wonder Sirius went off to find a 'bathroom' on the fourth level when there was one in the same room! But then again I saw him snogging Mia so are you here to tell me you're bi?"

Wait she thinks he's joking… she's not taking him seriously- wait Sirius was snogging MIA?

"Sirius was snogging Mia?" he asked his train of thought interrupted for the moment.

"No… but I thought that would get your attention. So now tell me what do you really want to say?"

"Lily, I'm serious-"

"No you're James."

"Lily I can't see you any more."

She frowned and looked him over. "Are you going to tell me why you've had this sudden change of heart?"

"Lily I just can't tell you."

"So are you saying you don't like me anymore or you've never truly liked me," she said in a robotic voice, no hint of hurt in her voice, just listing facts.

"No it's just that… you can't be with me! You'll get… I can't tell you Lily but Voldemort... my parents… Lily…" he said in a weak almost begging voice.

"James is this some heroic, martyr, self sacrificing sort of decision?"

"Er… I just can't tell you."

"Well then I can tell you this, that this really isn't your choice. It hasn't been for six years and now you think it can? James Potter you don't think too highly of me? Can't make my own decisions, I'm dating you because I want to and I'm going to continue doing so even if the crazed-dark-lord Voldemort will kill me for it because," and she pulled him up by his collar and gave him an affectionate kiss. "For some strange reason Potter I love you."

Wait did Lily-Kirsten-Evans just tell him she loved him for the first time?

Wait she told him she loved him?

Wait he loved her too!

Wait- shouldn't he say something?

"You love me?" he said his cocky grin returning and all thoughts of anything he had planned returning- because now he knew it would never have worked. He was just fooling himself. "Lily I love you too."

"Good then," she said brushing off her skirt in a business like manner but he could see a slight smile twitching at the corner of her lips. "Now whenever you're ready please come out and tell me what was making you become a martyr right then."

"L-"

"And James? Don't let me catch you being an idiot ever again. I'm tired-it's been a long day. I'll talk to you in the morning." Her voice was interrupted by James giving her a tender kiss.

"Good night Lily Flower.'

"Night James," she whispered walking up the steps to her dormitory muttering a something about 'trying to break up with me then telling me he loves me…boys are mad…"

And as he watched her go up he couldn't believe how lucky he was (how could she make him feel this way?), he'd tell her tomorrow- she should know- and with a much lighter heart then he had ever imagined he would have that night he walked up to the tower whistling a tune.

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I think I've gone soft… wait I've always been soft!

Yes I know a very weird chapter… possibly OOC, but I'll do my best to explain everything in the next chapter then:D I know it was really bad but stick with me because we've got a long way to go! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE review and tell me how it was!

Like always,

TajM