TheUbu (I'd be Ubu but someone took it!)

I'm a crazy Canadian and some of my writing may reflect that. Don't be alarmed and run for the hills, I'm sure it won't hurt too badly.

I'm eternally grateful to CalliopeMused. True to her name, she played the muse and got me passed my writer's block. Thanks again!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans; any characters contained within are not mine and belong to their respective owners with whom I have no affiliation.

Chapter Seventeen

Beast Boy blinked a little and stretched with a satisfied sigh. It was not until he sat up that he realized he was no longer in pain. He looked down at his arms and felt around his chest to find the discomfort completely gone.

'That's weird…' He thought. 'I guess talking to Robin really helped ease my mind.'

He looked at the clock across the room on his desk and sure enough, it was 6:30AM. He changed into his exercise clothing, which consisted of a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and began to head towards the gym. It was beginning to become apparent to Beast Boy that his attitude and personality were changing. Of course they had to change to accommodate his emotionally driven powers, but he never expected himself to become a person of routine. He knew exactly what he was going to do that morning, exercise for a few hours, have a quick shower, and show up just in time to help with breakfast. It was not only the fact that he had thought out his activities for the morning, but the things that used to compel him no longer did. He used to wake up and think of two things: eating and beating Cyborg at the latest video game they were playing.

Why weren't they compelling him anymore? He wanted to have that desire to do all the old things he used to but it just wasn't there. It was like he was growing up all at once, not that he was going to be immature forever, but it was easier to get by with a joke. Was he really going to turn into an emotionless husk of a person?

It all felt so different now, he still liked to be around his friends, but in a different way. He appreciated them for who they were, but wanted to keep a certain emotional distance from them. It was difficult to be able to feel his friends' emotions and not be somewhat envious. The only exception to this rule was Raven. He wanted to be close to her all the time and he loved to see her happy.

'So what?' He thought as he began a warm up jog on the treadmill. 'I just need to meditate a little. Raven meditated a lot to clear her head of everyone's emotions, maybe I just need more practice.'

The doors slid open and Beast Boy expected a greeting from Robin. However, it was the pink haired sorceress who greeted him.

"Uh, hey." She said.

"Good morning." Beast Boy replied, his tone flat.

He wasn't quite sure what to make of Jinx. Granted, she risked her life in an attempt to save Raven, but she had still been the enemy that fought against her not so long ago. He felt some trust for her, but it seemed to be lessened now that she was healed and he'd had time to remember all of their battles against her. She seemed to have Cyborg's utmost trust as well as that of Starfire's, even Robin appeared to lay a certain amount of trust in her but Beast Boy still needed to formulate his own opinion. He hadn't felt how Raven regarded her; perhaps he could discuss it with her.

Jinx stretched out a little and began her warm up jog on the treadmill next to Beast Boy's.

"You kinda walked out before I thanked you the other day. I'm sorry that it slipped my mind at dinner, but thanks. My arm had been really painful." She said.

"Yea." He said.

His reply wasn't so much an acceptance to her thanks, but merely an acknowledgement that she had spoken to him.

"So…" Jinx was obviously trying to stave off the awkward silence that was settling in between them. "How are you getting along with those new powers?"

Still unsure of what to think of her, he focused on the emotions she was casting off. Was that simply a genuine curiosity? Or was there something more to the question? No doubt Cyborg had told her of how he had been forced to change his normal behavior to simply keep the powers in check. No more goofing around, no more relaxing, no more fun. That must have been it. Pity, or was it poking fun at him? She didn't have to keep herself in a constant state of focus and neutrality. Either way, Beast Boy didn't like her attitude, he wasn't about to be pitied by anyone and if she had voiced the question with a hidden malice, then she was someone he didn't want in his home.

Beast Boy turned his head sharply and narrowed his eyes at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

:-:-:-:-:

His laconic responses were no help in making the situation a comfortable one. Beast Boy was difficult to pin, when they fought in the past, she got the impression that he was a pretty lighthearted guy. From what little she'd seen of him since she arrived in the tower, she'd be forced to completely rethink he assumption of his character. She wanted to make a good impression with all the Titans, Cyborg seemed to like her, Starfire's overly friendly nature had accepted her, Robin still seemed to be viewing her with caution but also had a sort of openness. Raven had been preoccupied for the past couple days and didn't really seem to acknowledge any of the Titans other than Beast Boy.

She was comfortable here, and she was sure that she'd become friends with the other Titans soon. For the mean time, she'd have to try and get on Beast Boy's good side and that meant getting into a conversation and banishing this damned tension.

"So… How are you getting along with those new powers?" She asked.

Beast Boy was quiet for a very short time before snapping his head in her direction to give her a deathly venomous glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked coldly.

Jinx was taken aback by his hostile response to her simple attempt at conversation. She hadn't meant anything by it, Cyborg had mentioned that Beast Boy seemed to be getting the hang of his powers and she had witnessed first had that he was quite proficient. She really didn't see how she could have offended him but it was time for her to backpedal.

"Nothing." She quickly replied. "I guess I was just trying to make conversation."

Beast Boy grunted something as he got off the treadmill and made his way over to the free weights. "Right."

'What's his problem?' Jinx thought.

"Look, we really got off on the wrong foot here. I'm sorry if anything I said insulted you because that wasn't the intent."

The pale Titan gave no sign he was listening and continued to lift the curling bar.

:-:-:-:-:

'Maybe she wasn't trying to insult or pity me.' He thought as he lifted the weight.

Her question had been innocent enough, why had he assumed there was some ill intent behind it so quickly? Raven used to meditate a lot more than he did, maybe that was the problem.

"Sorry." He said. "I've got to meditate or my emotions get out of line. I should probably do that now. See you later."

Beast Boy left the training room at a quickened pace towards the stairs. It was probably something like 6:45AM so it would still be dark on the roof. The sun would be rising soon though, it would be a nice place to meditate. Ignoring the fact that he was still in his exercise clothing, he sat cross-legged and cleared his mind as he began to chant out the three words that could bring tranquility as well as devastating power.

"Azerath Metrion Zinthos… Azerath Metrion Zinthos… Azerath Metrion Zinthos…"

'Why did I get so mad at her? She really wasn't saying anything to hurt me…'

'How can you be sure?' Came the deep and gravely voice of Rage. 'She was once the enemy, what if she's acting as a double agent?'

'What would she gain from saving Raven's life though? Why not just let her die?' Beast Boy thought back.

'No one would suspect her; all these fools gave her their trust immediately. We're smarter than that though, we know that she's planning something.'

'She's not planning anything though! I've felt her emotions and I didn't detect any negative feelings.' He argued.

'Are you foolish enough to think a witch cannot mask her own emotions? Your trust in her will get Raven killed!'

Beast Boy had had enough. He'd been working to keep his anger in check throughout his conversation with Rage and he was now at the breaking point. He discontinued his chanting and stood, anger seething in his breath.

"I'M NOT GOING TO LET RAVEN GET KILLED!" He yelled.

As a result of his outburst, the metal door to the stairs became enveloped in dark energy and crumpled into a sort of deformed ball. After the screeching of bending and tearing metal ceased, the door exploded casting jagged shards of metal across the roof. Beast Boy was panting and did his best to steady his breathing.

"Stay out of my head Rage, I have nothing I want to discuss with you."

'Very well, just know that when it happens, I actually tried to warn you.'

The pale Titan's anger rose again and it took all of his self-control to stop himself from blasting some piece of communications equipment on the roof.

'Damn it! What the hell is Rage getting at? Is he really trying to protect Raven? Or is he trying to make me angry to take control?'

Beast Boy didn't want to think about it anymore. He just wanted it to stop and go back to the way it was. No. It was better that he deal with this, because this was something Raven would be burdened with if he didn't. Life was unfair, that was just a fact; at least he had someone to love. She'd help him through this.

:-:-:-:-:

A devious smirk rested on the lips of the shackled emotion. Trigon may have been trapped, but he was almost in complete control of Rage now. It was little more than a waiting game, waiting for his power to build.

It was almost too easy for him. Simply say a few things to make the boy angry, and his power increased. Beast Boy was fighting against him but he was loosing the battle he didn't know was taking place. Trigon would tear through his mind like a forest fire once he's gained enough strength through the emotion. By the time that happened, he'd be in full control of the boy in the real world and would be able to use him as the portal almost immediately.

'It is amusing to think I will come to this world so easily. None of them will realize what is happening until it is too late.'

Trigon enjoyed taunting Rage for his twisted satisfaction. Anyone who resisted him was sure to suffer but physical pain could only go so far, mental wounds went so much deeper and they were the kind that rarely healed. He could still feel the emotion, but he knew that it could barely assert itself enough to reply let alone fight.

'Worry not, I will let you remain until I kill her.' He felt a surge of anger challenge his control over the body that subsided as quickly as it began. 'Why haven't you given up yet? Surely you understand that it is inevitable.'

No reply came and Trigon was even further satisfied with himself. He was only few days and anger invoking conversations away from ruling this dimension.

:-:-:-:-:

Raven rolled lazily in her sleep and tried to ignore whatever sound was rousing her. It came again and still she tried to block it out.

"Raven, last night you requested that I wake you ten o'clock and not leave until you were up." Said Starfire before knocking on the door loudly again.

The green Titan awoke to the pounding on her door this time and reluctantly rose from her pleasantly warm bed. Her dark green hair was quite disheveled but she opened the door to thank Starfire for waking her.

"Thanks." She yawned. "What's for breakfast?"

They began their trek down toward the common room and Raven was starting to get her senses again. She was vaguely aware that she must look like a mess having now yet had a shower or even brushed her hair. She tucked the green locks begin her pointed ears in an attempt to appear somewhat presentable.

"Cyborg is making his 'Pancake and Waffle Extravaganza' accompanied by large portions of bacon and sausage." Starfire replied.

"I could go for a few pancakes." Raven said. "Is Beast Boy making some sort of tofu?"

"I have not seen Beast Boy this morning. Friend Jinx said he went to meditate on the roof earlier, maybe he is still there."

'Meditating huh?' She thought. 'I should go see how he's doing.'

"I'll go check on him, can you please ask Cyborg to save me some breakfast?"

"Of course." Starfire smiled warmly before heading of in the direction of the common room.

Last time she'd seen Beast Boy, he had been in a great deal of discomfort and had left for his room before they really had a chance to talk. She didn't really think Robin would have sent him to jail or anything like that, but it was tough to predict what would happen in a situation like this. It seemed that Robin and Beast Boy had come to an understanding because they both returned from the conversation in a much less tense manner than before.

Raven stopped for a moment when she came to the top of the stairs because the door was no longer hanging in its frame. Many pebble-sized chunks of metal covered the immediate area outside the exit and she decided to place it in the back of her mind for another time. She emerged to the warm morning air of the roof and immediately saw whom she sought. The pale Titan was sitting cross-legged near the edge of the tower; he wasn't in Raven's traditional meditative pose as his hands were resting on his bent knees. He was floating slightly as he faced out towards the ocean and he chanted out the three-word mantra repeatedly.

"Azerath Metrion Zinthos… Azerath Metrion Zinthos… Azerath Metrion Zinthos…"

It was odd to be the observer for once. She was so used to being the one in the state of tranquility that she'd never thought what it must have been like to the people observing her. She suddenly felt a strong desire to show Beast Boy what it was like every time he snuck up on her when she was meditating but she suppressed it. It was unfortunate because he was such and easy target right now too, unsuspecting, almost completely unaware…

She sat next to him and gave herself a moment to take in her surroundings. The gentle breeze, warm sun, fresh sea air, and the pleasant and somewhat gravely tone of Beast Boy's voice. She may not have needed to, but she assumed her familiar lotus position and began to chant in tune with the one beside her.

:-:-:-:-:

Jinx leaned back on the couch and laced her fingers behind her head. Starfire had invited her and Cyborg to accompany Robin and herself, but a discouraging look from their leader behind the happy girl's back indicated he wanted some alone time. It was just as well, because Jinx was still becoming accustomed to life in the tower. Cyborg was the only other person with her in the common room and it seemed the perfect time to talk about the incident this morning.

It wasn't that she was afraid to talk to anyone other than Cyborg about it; it was just that she didn't feel completely comfortable with it. Robin seemed to be a good guy in all respects, but Jinx got the impression that he might take something like this a little over the top. She could tell that there was more to Starfire than her bouts of naivety, but the alien princess didn't seem like the person to go to in this situation. She could only guess at how Raven might react to the information that her boyfriend became extremely hostile over a simple question, so that left Cyborg.

Not that Cyborg would have been her last choice, quite the contrary, she felt closest to him due to their past in the H.I.V.E. academy. Despite the fact that he used his alias 'Stone' she felt that they had truly become friends and possibly something more.

"Hey Cyborg, is it alright if we talk?" She asked.

"Always, what about?" Came his reply after switching the television screen off.

"Well this morning I went down to work out in the gym a little and Beast Boy was already there. I asked him a simple question, something about how he was handling his new powers, and he got pretty nasty."

"What do you mean 'nasty'?" He asked.

"Nasty like he nearly bit my head off. He apologized after saying that he needed to meditate but it seemed weird." She sighed. "Has he taken offense to any comments about the power switch before this?"

"No he hasn't. I'm surprised something as simple as that set him off… Maybe he did just need to meditate." Cyborg murmured. "In any case, I wouldn't worry about it. BB a good guy, he wouldn't hold anything as simple as that against you."

"I hope he doesn't…"

:-:-:-:-:

It was amazing how much good a little meditation could do for the mind. Unlike his reflections earlier that morning, meditation is actually clearing one's mind of all thoughts to achieve a state of balance and inner peace. True meditation takes years to master but Beast Boy had felt similar things to meditation in the most ironic of places: video games.

Whenever he played on the game station by himself and focused hard enough, it became as though he wasn't really there. Not in his body, not in the video game, not even in the room, but as if his being was taking a nap and his body was going autopilot. It was almost as if there was an entirely different person where his body used to be, someone cold and calculating, doing nothing more than playing to win in the most efficient way possible.

That feeling of inner balance and peace was often achieved in this state of mindlessness. There were no thoughts just actions, and that had been his meditation.

Beast Boy could feel himself slowly coming back to his body and started to regain his senses. He could again feel the warmth of the sun on his skin and smell the fresh sea air. He heard his voice again as it dragged out the syllables of each word and he heard someone else. Raven. She was chanting in time with him and dragged out the words in the same slow and monotone way.

He let his legs down and stretched to get the stiffness out of his muscles and joints. Judging by where the sun was, he'd been in deep meditation for several hours at least and he could feel the minor bite of hunger in his stomach. He'd watched Raven meditate on occasion before the switch and thought she beautiful. Even though he always thought she was beautiful, she just seemed so open when she was in her state of peace and calm, no front of apathy, no scathing remarks, nothing but the real Raven.

He watched her as her delicate lips sounded out the words and resisted a strong urge to kiss her. She looked too perfect the disturb, sitting in the late morning sun with a gentle breeze making the ends of her dark green hair dance and sway around magnificent face.

'Oh man she's beautiful.' He thought to himself.

The tone in Raven's voice changed a little and the pale Titan sensed she was coming out of her meditative state.

"Hey Raven." Said Beast Boy as she opened her eyes.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked as she got up.

"Better now that you're here." He said with a smile and gave her a hug. "I'm actually feeling a lot better, not sore at all."

The changeling gave him an unsure look and cast her gaze to the remnants of the metal door. "Are you sure you're feeling ok?"

The short and angering conversation with Rage entered his mind again and he held Raven a little closer, the prospect of loosing her frightening and angering him. Nothing bad was going to happen, right? He knew that Rage was up to something, but what if his words held even the slightest bit of validity? Raven could get hurt or worse and it would be his fault for not telling the other he suspected Jinx. Beast Boy shook his head to clear the unpleasant thought.

"That was just a little emotional outburst." He said, gesturing towards the doorway. "I was meditating to calm down and I feel fine."

"That's good, I asked Cyborg to save some breakfast but it looks more like lunchtime. Do you want something to eat?"

"Sure."

:-:-:-:-:

Raven placed her dishes in the sink and began to run the hot water over them. Beast Boy had just finished explaining how the conversation with Robin went and she was just processing the information. Though Raven had been in his mind and knew perfectly well the extremes he was capable of, it was still a little shocking to hear Robin admit that he would do the same were he in Beast Boy's position.

Raven lacked her original empathic ability, but her heightened animal senses gave her something similar to it. It may have just been the fact that she seemed keenly aware of all her companions' body language, but it was almost like they emitted different smells to give away what they were feeling. When she put the two together, it was very easy to come to a conclusion about what that person might be feeling.

It was fairly obvious that the subject of Dr. Light was still weighing heavily on Beast Boy and Raven wanted to help him through this time. Was there a way to go about it without upsetting him? Maybe she could just try to talk to him about it and see what he thought about it.

"I can tell it still bothers you, do you want to talk about it?"

He was making his way to the sink when she spoke and she could see that he stiffened slightly. It appeared that it was weighing very heavily on him to get that kind of a reaction.

He was silent for a moment but eventually replied. "Ye-No… Maybe a little later."

:-:-:-:-:

"I can tell it still bothers you, do you want to talk about it?" Asked Raven.

Beast Boy cringed a slightly at her question, he didn't need to ask what she was referring to because the fact that he took a life did still remain with him.

'Why should you feel guilty?' Came the voice of Rage. 'That coward was going to die sooner or later, we just made it the former. I can't wait until we get to kill the next fool who crosses our path.'

He was starting to grow very tired of hearing from this emotion. 'Shut up now Rage. I should never have killed and I'm never going to do it again.'

'Really? I know you enjoyed it, you know you enjoyed it, if you have the power to do the things you enjoy, you do them.'

'SHUT UP!'

"Ye-No… Maybe a little later."

The dark empath immediately felt her hesitation to drop the subject but she did.

"Alright… Do you just want to relax then? I could go for a nap."

Beast Boy's previous apprehensions moved to the back of his mind and he allowed a small smile. Taking a midday nap on the couch with the girl he loved in his arms sounded like a pretty good idea.

I apologize for the overly long wait again but I had a bad case of writer's block and life, both of which I had assistance for CalliopeMused with. I had great difficulty writing the latter half of the chapter due to some goings on in my life and I think I may have to take a little time off writing this story to sort it out. I know it's been a month since I last updated but this would have been here a week and a half sooner were it not for the aforementioned goings on. The good new is that my cast should bee of in about a week so my typing speed will more than double and the following chapters will come out much more quickly when I get back to writing them.

In the meantime, my thoughts have turned to writing a story with a tragic tone to it. It's my hopes that if I write a longer one-shot about this, I will be able to get back to writing this story without a sad influence looming over my head. Having said that, I don't know what the title will be but I expect to have it done within the next few weeks.

I consumed three cans of Coca Cola during the writing of this chapter.

I am again sorry for taking so long to update but I'm grateful to all who are still sticking with me.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story.