Why didn't I chase after Derek? Why didn't I stay in New York? Why? Why? Why?

I tried to call Derek a total of 113 times in three months. He hung up on me 34 times. The other 78 times, I received his voicemail. The final call, I was told that his number was no longer in service.

I had no idea how to get a hold of my husband.

I had no idea where my husband was.

Some wife I am.

His favorite intern finally talked after 2 weeks of pestering. Dempsey Kirkpatrick was training to be the Derek Shepherd of his generation. Derek had been in contact with Dempsey through emails. Dempsey was supposed to fly out to where ever Derek was to work on his final year research assignment. The second I found out that Dempsey knew where Derek was, I pounced on him like a cheetah.

"Where is he, Dempsey?" I asked for the thousandth time.

The scrawny, dark haired young man looked at me nervously. I had a habit of making interns nervous.

"I- I can't tell you, Dr. Montgomery!"

"My name is Addison Shepherd. Dempsey, please. I need to talk to him."

"Seattle." he muttered. "Dr. Shepherd is in Seattle."

When I got the call from Richard to come to Seattle, I saw it as a blessing in disguise. In the privacy of my office, I did a little jig.

" Addison, its Richard. I've been meaning to call you. I need you to come to Seattle. There is a case here that I need you on.."

"I can be there tonight," I responded.

"Addi, Derek is here."

"I know."

"Addi, I don't know exactly what happened but-- Addison, he is with Ellis's daughter."

I stopped my dance and slumped into my chair. "Excuse me?"

"Derek has something going on with Meredith Grey."

I felt like I was punched in the stomach. My husband and my mentor's daughter? Oh god. I bit my lip in order to prevent the tears from coming. I make one mistake and my husband starts up with Grey? My mind is invaded with Ellis's voice. Ellis was never fond of her daughter. Meredith was a screw up in her mother's eyes. I felt sorry for Meredith then. Now, I want to maul her.

"I'll be there tonight."

I sat on the plane, twisting my wedding band around my finger. In one hour, I would be landing in Seattle. In an hour and a half, I would be on my way to the hospital. I was going to find Derek and make him listen.

I slid my hand into my briefcase and pulled out a packet of papers and a picture. The picture was of Derek and I on our wedding day. We had taken pictures in the OR as a joke. "A match made in medical heaven," we were called. I smiled at the memory.

The packet made me grim. My older brother despised Derek. He thought Derek wasn't good enough for me. When we started having problems, Jack had written up divorce papers. I was appalled by the action, but I kept them . Why? I don't know. Some things we'll never know.

I sat in front of the hospital, my eyes on the hideous van that belonged to my husband. I haven't seen Derek in 3 months. I didn't know where he was. Half the time, I didn't know where I was. The morning Derek left, I was a mess. If I didn't have my patients, I would have went from hospital to hospital looking for him. I should have known he would run to Richard. He always did.

My husband likes to run away from his problems.

I got out of my car and started walking towards the sliding doors. From afar I see a familiar silhouette.

As I walked through the doors, I saw him chatting with a blonde. Ellis's daughter. I had seen a picture of Meredith once a long time ago. She was cute.

I smirked as Derek's eyes met mine. There is pain evident in his.

Derek, why couldn't you have just listened?

"Addison!" He managed to get out. His eyes were wide with a mixture of emotions.

"Hello Derek," I said proudly. With a flip of my hair, I turned towards Meredith. She was so confused. She looked almost child-like. Her eyes searched mine for any indication of who I was. I smiled at her. I was going to break this woman's heart. I felt sorry for the words I was about to speak.

"I'm Addison Shepherd," I introduced.

"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."

….And I'm the bitch that broke his heart…..

… And he's the bastard that broke both of our hearts…..

Wow. We should start a support group.