Anything Would Be fine

ALL SONG LYRICS HAVE BEEN REMOVED!


Chapter 13

Seven Months Later….

Kagome never felt this good in her life. She had been living in this town she just happened to wonder into for a year now. After moving out of the duplex the old woman still offered to care for Kloie, Kagome thought it would be good for Kloie since she was familiar with her.

"A'de, Mama?" Kloie mumbled then stuck her bottle in her mouth.

"Yes, sweetie, we're going to see Kaede," she smiled back at Kloie in her car seat. The car wasn't the newest thing in the world but Kagome was grateful to not have to walk everywhere, and getting rides from perverts, she thought with a smirk. Her life had changed a lot since she moved out, it was rough the first few months she had help from Kaede but Kagome wanted to prove her own worth to Inuyasha to Kaede to her little Kloie but most of all to herself. She worked double shifts at work for a long time until there was enough money to be settled, and then she went back to a normal schedule.

When they arrived, Kagome let Kloie out watching her hobble around the car and head for the walkway that led to the door; she smiled and reached inside the car for her diaper bag.

"Yaaya!" Kloie gurgled happily.

Kagome looked up to see Kloie all out running to Inuyasha as he was leaving, he was dressed in a white muscle shirt that did more then flatter his form with black shorts a little tighter then the ones he normally wore, going to ride his bike most likely, she thought her cheeks flushing deeply. Kagome gasped seeing Kloie trip but Inuyasha was fast catching her before she hit the ground.

"Hey kid," he said smiling, he lifted her over his head and spun her around the wind making her flowered dress swirl around her chubby legs.

Her heart softened watching him play with her daughter. Kagome shut the car door and walked over to them, she nodded to him, "Inuyasha."

He set Kloie down and did the same, "Kagome." Inuyasha watched both girls as they went inside. He had to admit that he was wrong about Kagome she went into the world and was taking care of herself and her baby. He felt bad for ever doubting her; she had done a lot of growing up being around now her was like being around another woman. She was confident, she smiled a lot, but he could see something in those eyes that others couldn't. As happy as she was there was still sadness deep within her. He saw it that night when he told her of his conviction, she was interested, he saw the hunger in her eyes to know more, but she had never said anything about it and so he had not pressed the subject.

They hadn't talked much since she left, the occasional 'how do you do's when they caught each other going back and forth at the duplex. They shared a hot chocolate at the coffee shop one morning, catching up, she told him about her job promotion, very formal, nothing of great importance.

He could not deny that he missed her, he missed seeing her everyday, he missed talking to her and he wanted to spend time with her. To talk the way they used to only this time without getting into a fight.

"Kaede, is it okay if throw this in your dryer before I go to work?" Kagome asked holding up her uniform, "it has a few wrinkles, and the managers are getting strict about that.'

"Child, of course, you know you don't have to ask. You're family," she said giving Kloie some Cheerios.

She smiled, "I know, thank you, Kaede."

Late that night Kagome found herself looking out the window, just thinking. Tips weren't as good as usual that evening. She sipped her drink and looked up at the star; it was the star that Inuyasha had taken her to see the first time they met. It glowed brightly atop the mountain; she wanted to go back there one day. Maybe with him, she smiled hopefully. After a few more sips of her drink she shook her head and went into her bedroom. As she undressed, she thought of his words that night in her room.

"Kagome, my first commitment in life is to God and his path for me…I know it may seem unimportant to you but I cannot live my life like that, much less put someone through such heartache…."

To be perfectly honest she didn't think that at all. She could not understand what made him have that kind of devotion. Could there really be a God? Kagome shook her head, I can't be thinking about this AGAIN!

She decided to take a hot bath to relax, she lay in the water's warmth Kagome found herself looking over her life, this was commonplace for her nowadays.

Kagome played with the soapy suds in front of her, wondering just where exactly her life was all going. Why wasn't she thrilled about anything anymore? Why didn't her life seem to have any purpose, other then to prove herself to others? It hurt in a way to think of her life as just passing time, like she was merely pretending things in her life had any significance only to sail off into nothingness and mean zilch once she died.

This only made her think about everything she had ever learned in science class. She was either the product of evolution or what? This was the big question. Or what? She knew the alternative was the reality of there being a God. She felt the burning desire to know inside her she could not deny. If God did not exist then she was lonely in a universe that was pointless and going nowhere.

Something in her heart told her that could not be the case. If there is a God is it possible that I can encounter him? Kagome sighed, "Do I really want to look into this?" She did, she knew she wanted to learn more. Kagome pushed the drain with her toe and got out of the tub. It was decided tomorrow she would actually go to the book store and buy a Bible. Perhaps the book would give her the answers she was looking for.

2:45 AM the clock read and Kagome wasn't tired yet. She was glad she had a third floor apartment, sitting on the couch she stared up at the star again, she could see the faint reflection of herself in the window, so small she seemed compared to the rest of the world. Kagome sighed, she secretly wished that Inuyasha would visit her; she wished he would hold her like he did the day they kissed. He would make her aching go away. Tears welled up in her eyes, what's wrong with me? Oh God I hate this! She broke into sobs, I'm losing my mind! What's the point of any of this? God, why do I feel so lonely when I have a daughter that loves me? Why? Can looking into this…this religion can it really tell me what I need to know? There were no answers to such questions.

The next day Kagome was a wreck, exhausted and feeling very unusual about wanting a Bible. She wondered if it would really have the answers she was looking for in her life, she remembered how Inuyasha's message about sex still seemed effective today. As much as it hurt it was true, most people don't want someone with a shady past.

After dressing Kloie in another white dress, this one with pink rose buds on them, she tied a little pink bow in a lock of her daughter's dark hair. Kloie sucked on her thumb while Kagome put on her shoes, "Mama!" She squealed.

Kagome smiled, "Baby!" She pushed her gently back on the bed and starting tickling her, lifting her dress Kagome blew on her stomach. Kloie giggled loudly. "Okay okay, sweetie, time to be serious, Mommy is going to do something very important today so I need to you be a good girl okay?" she took the little girl's hand and led her to the car. I'm going to do something that will change everything or nothing at all. Kagome hoped it was the first….

As she entered the book store, pushing Kloie in her stroller her eyes darted to all of the displays advertisements for CDs, shirts, and rows upon rows of books. They were greeted by a woman would looked about ten years older then Kagome, with red hair cut in short and held back with decorative chopsticks; she wore a black shirt with blue jeans. Her name tag red "Eliza" beneath it was a sticker of the outline of a fish. She greeted them with a friendly smile, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Kagome nodded returning her smile, "Yes um I would like to buy a Bible."

"Our Bibles are right this way," she led them to a large row with several different Bible, different colors and sizes.

Wow…This might be harder then I thought, Kagome thought.

"Any particular version you were looking for?" She asked.

"You mean there's different versions?" Kagome thought, that's weird.

Eliza nodded, "Yes, we have New King James and New International. King James is the more traditional; you'd probably want New International. It's, in my opinion, easier to understand."

"How much?"

"$11.99"

"I'll take it." Kagome watched as Eliza rung up the sale, with interest, "You must be one."

She looked up, "What?"

"A Christian," She said quietly.

Eliza smiled, "Yes I am."

"A friend of mine is too," Kagome looked down at Kloie who started to get fussy after shushing her she met Eliza's gaze again. "So are people just born that way?"

She shook her head, "No, becoming a Christian is a choice one has to make themselves. It was the greatest decision I ever made," Eliza said with a joyful smile on her face.

Kagome nodded, "I see," I don't understand this at all.

Once Kagome started for the door Eliza called out to her, "Do you want to know what book would be good to read first?"

She turned, "What?'

"John."

"Oh…I was uh I was just going to just start reading from the beginning."

"Believe me it will be much easier to understand if you start in John."

Kagome smiled, "Okay I'll read John. Thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome."

It was two minutes to nine when the phone rang; Inuyasha shut off the TV and picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Inuyasha? It's Kagome."

Thank you, God! He smiled and cleared his throat trying in vain to hide his joy at hearing his voice. "Hi Kags, uh is everything okay?"

She sighed, does he just want me to crawl to him for help every time? Okay calm down and ask him what you needed to ask him. "Well I'm having some trouble with this Bible I bought today."

Inuyasha was quiet for a moment. Had he heard her right? She needed help with her Bible? "What is it?"

"Well its chapter two in the book of John, the girl at the bookstore told me to start in John but anyway I'm at the part where Jesus turns the water to wine at a wedding."

"Yes? What about it is bothering you?"

"I'm sorry but I just don't see the point of this story, I mean I don't see how this is a miracle. Is Jesus just trying to show off his powers?"

Inuyasha thumbed through his own Bible, "Do you have your Bible with you?"

"In my hands."

"Okay, the important part of this passage is verse 6."

Kagome read, "Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding twenty to thirty gallons." She was silent for a moment, and then spoke up, "Okay this makes no sense to me."

Inuyasha rubbed his eyes, "Well the thing about it is that the water was not for drinking, it was to wash their hands. They believed that by washing their hands before meals they could wash away the evil and their sins so they could be pure when they ate the wedding feast."

"Okay? So why change that water?"

"Basically Jesus wanted to explain to them that the ritual was unnecessary. He was showing them the way to 'wash away' their sins was supposed to happen on the inside not the outside like washing their hands."

"Wow! So you think there's major symbolism thing going on?" Kagome's excitement grew at his next comment.

"I think Jesus was telling them that he was going to offer a new life in our spirits instead of using a ritual."

God, this is some deep stuff! Kagome thought, a new life…as in a clean slant? But how was that even possible? She still had so many questions she wanted to ask, they buzzed around in her head like angry hornets. "I-Inuyasha?"

"Yeah?'

"Thanks."

Kagome put down the book and got up, walking over to the window she watched the people walking around and the cars that sped by. Jumbles of conflicting emotions swam through her; something unexplainable was happening within her. She felt a little foolish for being so excited about the possible existence of God. She had the deepest urge to speak with him, yet the deepest feeling of foolishness washed over her. There may not even be a God! If there is he's probably too big to talk to one person, why would he want to? There was a tug at her heart, how do I know this is real? Where's the evidence? Why am I so worried about this? If there is no God then it's pointless- she was pacing quickly back and forth- But if there is! Then there will be a new meaning to everything! The thought made her cheeks flush. It was so much to take in.

She wanted more then anything to speak with him! Closing her eyes she stopped and turned facing the window again, tears suddenly welled up in her eyes and began to pour down her cheeks. "God," she spoke softly, "I'm still not sure you exist but…if you do…please give me some kind of ….just…" she wept harder, "please let me know you're there." I want to know you.

Wiping her eyes Kagome sat down on the couch. There was no miracle just the feeling of calmness.

Inuyasha rolled over his long hair falling into his face, he sighed and straightened his pillow, he tried sandwiching it but he couldn't get comfortable. His mind was racing. Kagome's phone call had brightened his spirits greatly but the question was eating him alive. Why? Why had she called asking him about the Bible no less! He wasn't used to feeling stupid and this was really starting to get under his skin, but Kagome seemed to have a knack for doing that. Many sleepless nights he'd spent with thoughts of her. Why…why when I know I cannot be with her…why do I still think of her all the time? He sighed and turned off the light.

He groaned several minutes into sleep when he heard a knock on the door. Inuyasha sat up the clock read twenty till two, grumbling still he made his way to the door, "This better be good Kae-" His eyes were wide saucers, "Kagome!"