Chapter 20

lyrics for this chapter are "Somewhere in Between" from Lifehouse

The hot coffee smelled wonderful after a night of hysterical sobbing and lack of sleep. He rolled over on the couch as his brother's wife entered the room she offered him a cup.

"Something to make you feel better," She said with a cheerful smile.

He took it nodding to her, "Thanks, Rin...I'm not sure how much it'll help..."

Rin was a short woman, ten years younger then her husband and very sweet. She'd made a huge impact on Sesshourmaru's life, making him into a real family man something even Inuyasha couldn't comprehend.

"Inuyasha"

He looked up through the strands of messy black hair at his older brother, "What?"

"You cannot sit around my house all day, make yourself useful."

He shrugged and rolled over, Inuyasha lay there for what seemed like hours the wool blanket tightly wrapped around him. He listened to his brother's family move about in the mansion like house, listening to them all move through the motions of their life together. It was unreal all of this. Sesshoumaru his cocky older brother had the life that Inuyasha always wanted, sure he had more money then Inuyasha would ever hope to have but it wasn't the point. Sesshoumaru had happiness and a family with a woman who loved him unconditionally. Was it so wrong to want something like that?

Inuyasha turned to the fireplace across the room a fire in Spring?, he rolled his eyes. His brother was showing off the fine things in the dim light he was always trying to make him feel bad about his life. That jerk he knows how low you feel right now even after having a wife and kids of course he'll never change. He wants to shove you to the lowest point you can get without breaking...

He sat up as Rin came into the room again.

"I'm sorry if the fire is bothering you," she said that smile never leaving, "it gets really cold in this room at night and Sesshoumaru said you'd be sleeping in here so I put it on. I hope you don't mind."

Oh...Inuyasha nodded, "It's fine. Thank you, Rin."

She took the cup he'd left on the coffee table, "I'm going to the store in a few minutes do you want anything?"

He shook his head. His thoughts drifted a while.

"I said I owe you an apology."

"No I heard you I mean why?"

She nibbled on her bottom lip, she always looks adorable when she does that. She always does it when she's lost in thought... "About that night at Kaede's, I was so angry at you for not wanting to be with me."

His eyes met hers, "I knew you were upset but, Kagome I wasn't-"

"Let me finish, I want to apologize for not understanding. I was so angry at you and that's why I went out with Kouga." She lowered her head but held the lock of his gaze.

Inuyasha rubbed his eyes, why did she say that if she was letting him touch like that? Why would she do that to me?

Sesshoumaru entered the dark room the light from the fire flickered off everything; the hand carved table, the golden specks in the single coffee cup, his younger brother's dark hair, his bronze skin and the violet eyes staring at him.

"Inuyasha, we need to talk." He said his voice stern, he grabbed the shirt from the floor and tossed it to him, "Put the shirt on and come to the back porch." With that he left the room.

Sighing heavily Inuyasha got up, still wearing the jeans from the day before he pulled the wrinkled shirt over his head and went for the porch. He managed to glance at the clock on his way out. Two minutes until eleven the kids were probably sleeping. He pushed the screen door open, to see his brother looking over the acres of land that was the 'backyard' occupied by the family dogs, two golden retrievers.

"It's nice," Inuyasha said standing next to him.

Silence.

"What did you want to talk about, Sesshoumaru?"

He turned, "Sit," he said motioning towards the cushioned chair by the table. Sesshoumaru took the chair next to him, "I want you to tell me why you came knocking on my door in the middle of the night."

"Why? So you can rub it in like you've rubbed everything else in? You have a wife and kids, you can buy almost anything and everything you want!"

"Almost?" Sesshoumaru smirked, Inuyasha didn't find it very amusing. "Little brother, isn't one of the commandments not to covet?" He raised an eyebrow.

Inuyasha shrugged, "What do you care?"

"Because you're a man of your faith and right now you're acting like a child."

"What's the point of being a Christian when everything goes wrong?" Inuyasha looked at the floor.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened, "You act like you're having some heavy doubts."

"No shit." He snapped.

"Tell me what happened."

Inuyasha began with how they met at the library, when they went to the Star and the way they bounced around each other for months. He confessed how much he loved her even before she was a Christian and how hard it was for the both of them to adjust to the fact, the change in her when she became a believer and how sex was getting a lot more tempting.

Sesshoumaru was quiet and listened patiently until his brother stopped, he was struggling with the next part.

"We were going to have kids from the youth group over to watch a movie so there wouldn't be any awkward moments alone, you know?"

He nodded.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, "I was going to her place, food was my job, I had just called Tyler who was going to be late getting his girlfriend to Kagome's. He told me to go ahead and he'd be there as soon as they could." He was shaking now, "I heard a noise on the other side of the door like a thump, I didn't think much of it so I pushed the door open...I saw them on the couch...his hand was-" he stopped suddenly swallowing hard. "She was making these sounds...her face was so-" Inuyasha was in tears now, "I wouldn't have sex with her so she went back to Kouga even after what he did a year ago!" He held his face in his hands, "Why? Why would God allow this to happen? She being one of his children why would he let her do that?"

Sesshoumaru watched the boy cry next to him, "You love her don't you?"

"Of course I do! Weren't you even listening?"

He ignored the boy's yelling and spoke, "It was about 12 years ago, she eighteen and I twenty-eight. I'm sure people looked down on it but we were in love. I wanted to be with her so badly she wanted to wait. I would ask her why she wanted to wait for something like this and she would give me that smile that made nothing else in the world matter. It drove me mad. She was all I could think about, being with her, but it became more then that. Her smile, her laughter, her touch, her smell, the way her eyes sparkled in the moonlight or the soft flowers that always seemed to surround her beautiful body. I'd realized that I'd fallen in love with her." Sesshoumaru smiled and looked at Inuyasha who stared at him. He smirked, "Then I did what every man does when he realizes that."

Inuyasha swallowed the unknown emotion from surfacing, he'd never heard his brother talk so passionately about anything before, "And what was that?" He asked pretending to sound curious instead of amazed.

Sesshoumaru smiled genuinely, "I asked her to marry me."

Both were quiet for a long time until Sesshoumaru spoke again, "Talk to her, Inuyasha. If she is the kind of girl you and Kaede say she is then there has to be some explanation for what you saw. I have a feeling it's not what you think it is."

Inuyasha blinked, he's right.

"As far as what you did to Kouga it was instinct you felt like you had to protect Kagome. I don't believe that you think she would do that to you why you feel Kouga needed the shit beat out of him if she wanted him to touch her?"

"I I don't know..."

"And as for your beliefs, Inuyasha, you're blaming what you did to her on God. Your actions are your choice, I know this and I do not even share your beliefs." He stopped hearing footsteps.

The door slid open, both men looked up to see Rin in a pink nightgown, "It's a little late isn't it?" She smiled and nodded to Inuyasha as she went to her husband putting her arms around his neck. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I thought you were sleeping, dear," Sesshoumaru said kissing her forehead.

Inuyasha watched, he knew they wouldn't notice. They were in a world of their own, he smiled, the way it was whenever he and Kagome were together.

Sesshoumaru stood, "We are going to bed now, Inuyasha you going to bed?"

"Um I think I'm going to stay out here for a little while," he heard the door slide open, "hey wait." Inuyasha turned.

Sesshoumaru had taken Rin in his arms by now, "Make it quick." He said his voice tinged with frustration.

"What did you mean by what Kaede said about Kagome?"

Rin squealed softly by a pinch he gave her.

"We started talking when Kagome came to live with her."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want to thank everyone for the reviews and for sticking with us this long. I feel like I'm on a roller coster sometimes. This story is winding down to it's end. Please Read & Review. Love you all and God Bless