HI! I'm not dead, but my computer is, so I'm having Lee3 post my chapters for me.

Love Hina ain't my work and neither is Lou Bega's "Tricky, Tricky" or Diamond Rio's "I Believe"

ON WITH THE FIC

Now that Hanku has turned 21 and his long-time enemy Mocsha is gone, Hanku can live a relaxed life now with no need to feel alone or unsure of his future. However he has felt like a statue ever since he got back to the apartments. He may have his normal clothes on, but he has numerous amounts of bandages, including a splint on his broken arm. He also feels like fragile glass about to be crushed by a boulder. His body is virtually wrecked and beaten. Every ounce of his strength was spent on his fight and his body was left sore as hell; any touch to his muscles and he'd cry and whimper like a child. Even Shinobu could have Hanku at her mercy if she had the heart to. Motoko and Naru feel generous and give Hanku some slack after his tremendous deed. Everyone gathers around Hanku, lying on the couch, to discuss one more thing concerning the last few days…

Keitaro speaks first-"A-hem, we all have one more question about the fight Hanku."

"Uh-huh. What is it?"

"Ummm…what happened to you?"

"Eh?...OH! You mean the transformation! You mean this?"

Hanku transforms and everyone is stunned

"Yeah that."

Kitsune butts in-"I prefer that over your original self Hanku if I may say so."

"Why? Because I look older, stronger, and more manly?"

"And sexy!"

"……tough."

Motoko sweat-drops-"You really shouldn't work yourself like that. It'll cause more pain."

Hanku returns to his original form, trembling…

"It…doesn't hurt…"

Later, Hanku starts watching Pride fighting on HBO as Kitsune jumps on Hanku's lap in a drunken surge of energy

"HEY HANKU!"

"WHAT TH--OWWWW! (whimper) that hurts, Kitsune...excruciatingly."

"Oopsie. My bad. Anyway, now that you're 21 isn't it right you have been drinking for a full year now?"

"Ummmm...Actually, Kitsune, I haven't had very many drinks at all. I was actually planning to start drinking a little more often now, at 21, because America's drinking age limit is 21, not 20."

"Well then, LET'S PARTY, in celebration of Hanku's birthday and his new found power to drink in America!"

"(sigh) I already had a party planned Lady Hangover!"

"Really? Where?"

That night, everybody leaves and lets Hanku lead them to wherever he was taking them. As they walked, hooded strangers seemed to show a look of shock as they moved out of Hanku's path…

"I have a good friend downtown who owns a karaoke bar. Don't be worried about the alcoholic beverages; he's very tight about who drinks what at whatever age, so no reason to fret, you minors."

Hanku was also wearing a cap and sunglasses, which confused Keitaro, because it was already dark outside…

"What's up with the hat and shades, Hanku? It's already night time."

"SHHHHHHH! Zip it Kei! Do you realize how many fans I have? Hm? I can tell you this: it's a lot more than the total number of punches Naru has given you in your life! Everybody has me on their celeb list and all are just trying to get something from me: autographs, pictures, demonstrations, sex and money! The list goes on so for you all's sake, I'd like to keep my name under wraps while we're in the outer public. My name is safe at the bar, where my friend even has the right to ban the press from entering the bar whenever he says they can't."

Everybody enters a bar titled, "LEE'S". The bar is divided in two groups with the bartend in between and a stage with a karaoke box behind it. On the left seemed to be an area for only Japanese speaking people and the left was for English, however the Japanese area had only a couple of people there while the other side seemed ¾ full.

Hanku waves at the bartender…

"Yo, Lee! What's up in the club?"

"Hey Hanku! It's going alright. I suppose it'll be the usual whiskey?"

Everybody in the bar hears Hanku's name and gives a greeting to the fighter who responds with a two-fingered salute and answers Lee's question…

"Nah. In fact, Lee…pour a Wild Turkey on ME!"

Everybody cheers as shots of whiskey are passed around the entire bar of Americans…

Lee chuckles and notices Hanku's injuries…

"So Hanku, what's the occasion? Did ya get your ass handed to you finally?"

"Naw. For one, today happens to be my 21st birthday…and, and also what might be more important: I just achieved a goal that I have wanted to fulfill for quite some time now. Now what that goal was, I won't tell you anything except this: Here's to karma!"

Everybody laughs, cheers, and swigs down their whiskey. Lee notices the new guests accompanying Hanku…

"What are you all standing there for? Let me get ya a table."

The tall, black, American sits the gang at a table and sees all of the confused looks on their faces…

"It's understandable that you all don't have a clue with what's going on, so allow me to fill in the blanks. Hanku and I met 2 years ago when a brawl started here and I was about to break it up, but Hanku stepped in and…let's just say he took care of it. Hanku became a usual at this place afterwards. He was more of a security guy rather than a customer. As for me, just call me Lee, everyone else does even though my real name is different."

Shinobu raises her hand in question…

"Well why won't you tell them your name?"

Hanku butts in and slaps a hand on Lee's shoulder…

"Well Shinobu, it wouldn't be as much fun calling him Hailey instead of Lee now would it?—BOOF!"

Lee springs up his fist, hitting Hanku's face with a look similar to Haruka hitting Keitaro as Hanku slowly falls to the ground…

"For one, Hailey is my last name. Two, I don't tell people my REAL name for a REASON."

"……ooohh…do the bandages and the limping mean anything to you?"

"Hells no!"

"…Oh…okay."

"Now get your lazy-ass off my floor. We need to talk."

Lee pulls Hanku over to another table where they sit and begin to talk.

"I thought you said that Mocsha guy was dead."

"…Nothing gets by you."

"Well when a friend comes in looking like a mummy, and achieving a 'goal' that he won't explain, I can get a few ideas."

"Hey, I'm not the only one who knows about all of this."

"Really? Who does then?"

Hanku points over to the Hinata tenants, whom were enjoying a decent conversation…

"The girls and the dork with glasses?"

"Yeah. They saw the whole thing."

"Saw what thing?"

Hanku explains everything that happened: the deaths, the bargain, the fight, the afterlife, the love confession, the transformation, everything!

"Wow…I wish I could've been there to help."

"Guns and rockets can't hurt this guy. You'd just be a spectator."

"…Which is good enough for me. So the champ's got a girlfriend now, eh?"

"Ha…not really. When Motoko and Naru came back, they claimed to not remember anything when they died."

"Well, if you ask me, I think they DO know. I just don't think they wanna let you know about it."

"Now why would they do that?"

"Well…your crush may not love you. That's one thing."

"…(sigh)……do you really think she'd be that solitary and low?"

"There's a chance. Excuse me while I get your friends' drinks."

Suddenly, a guy in the bar shouts at Hanku…

"YO HANKU! HOW 'BOUT DOIN' SOME KARAOKE!

Hanku sighs and walks to the stage as Lee gets the orders…

"Hanku is a REALLY good karaoke singer. He normally does some new and old country songs."

"BUT, Lee, I'm doing something a little different. This one's about a friend of mine and it won't take much, except the first sentence to figure out who it is."

(A/N: Lou Bega is the same guy who sang "Mambo no. 5" for those of you who remember.)

Lou Bega's "Tricky, Tricky" starts playing. The words in bold are words I changed.

She likes bars, she likes diamonds, too

She likes stars if they rendezvous

She likes sake to maintain her style

She likes a man only for a while

She likes access to your bank account

She likes dollars, she likes British pounds

She likes money only in high amounts

Baby's cool, ha, she knows what counts

She likes to pay with credit cards

Ride expensive cars

And stay in the president suite (ha, ha, ha, ha)

And every day she's looking for

The man who gives her more

To satisfy her needs

She's a soulshaker, troublemaker

She is a heartbreaker

Undertaker, Moneymaker

She is a love faker

Soulshaker, troublemaker

She is a heartbreaker

Undertaker, moneymaker

She is a love faker

Tricky, Tricky,

But she is pretty, pretty

She is tricky, tricky

But she is pretty, pretty

So damn good

"This next part is what Kitsune's future boyfriend may sound like"

(A/N: At least he didn't say Kitsune's future CRUSH! Wink, wink)

I like holidays when there's nothing to do

I like fun for free and a ice cold brew

I like to watch racing on T.V.

I like to sleep and wake up around 3:00

I like to hang out with my boys

Making lots of noise

Dancing in the club, ha

There is no choice

She could never understand

That I can be her man

I am what I am

So damn

She likes to pay with credit cards

Ride expensive cars

And stay in the president suite (ha, ha, ha, ha)

And every day she's looking for

The man who gives her more

To satisfy her needs

She's a soulshaker, troublemaker

She is a heartbreaker

Undertaker, Moneymaker

She is a lover faker

Soulshaker, troublemaker

She is a heartbreaker

Undertaker, moneymaker

She is a love faker

Tricky, Tricky,

But she is pretty, pretty

She is tricky, tricky

But she is pretty, pretty

So damn good

Tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

But she is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty

Tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

But she is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty

She's a soulshaker, troublemaker

She is a heartbreaker

Undertaker, Moneymaker

She is a lover faker

Soulshaker, troublemaker

She is a heartbreaker

Undertaker, moneymaker

She is a love faker

Tricky, Tricky,

But she is pretty, pretty

She is tricky, tricky

But she is pretty, pretty

So damn good, HAAA!

Everybody applauds. The residents laugh as Kitsune says "Cheers".

The night would go on through never ending karaoke and a few jokes such as when Naru and Keitaro had their ACCIDENTAL kisses. Hanku had one thing to say, rather sing…

"But Naru just know this…ahem…"

Oh you must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh—BOOF!

Naru throws an empty glass at Hanku's head as Lee laughs…

"Ha! Good one Hanku! Good one."

Naru looks over at Lee with a pissed expression…

"Shut up…HAILEY!"

"WHAT! OH you did NOT!"

Lee reaches underneath the bartend and pulls out a rifle and starts chasing and shooting at Naru, whom panicked and ran around the bar as no one else seems to react. Two random old geezers sitting at the bartend give a bored expression…

"Some things may never change."

"He's never stopped pulling out that rifle, yet."

As the "fun" died down Hanku decides to call it a night until Lee stops him…

"Hanku, how about one more song? A soft closer?"

"(sigh) Alright."

Just like in Hinata's karaoke party, Hanku pulls up a high-stool, tells Lee which song to put in, and takes a deep breath…

"Yes another emotional song, guys. Residents! This song can refer to all of us, especially after what happened recently."

No one else, except the gang, knew what Hanku was talking about, but let it slide as they eagerly awaited the song.

Diamond Rio's "I Believe" starts playing.

Every now and then,
Soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again,
And it's like you haven't been,
Gone a moment from my side
Like the tears were never cried
Like the hands of time are holding you and me

And with all my heart I'm sure,
We're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see,
I've got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe
Oh, I believe

Now when you die your life goes on
It doesn't end here when you're gone
Every soul is filled with light,
It never ends and if I'm right,
Our love can even reach across eternity
I believe
Oh, I believe

Forever, you're a part of me
Forever, in the heart of me
I will hold you even longer if I can
Oh, the people who don't see the most,
Say that I believe in ghosts
If that makes me crazy, then I am,
'Cause I believe

Oh I believe

There are more than angels watching over me
I believe
Oh, I believe

Every now and then,
Soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again,
And I believe

A standing ovation was given as Hanku bowed and walked off-stage and left with the others, whom were a little sleepy after such a smooth, soft and slow song. However some were sleepy from the tears they cried.

End of chapter 22

Sorry it took me so long to get this out. I just hope I can get my reviewers back!

I'm giving out a poll. What are everyone's favorite action, humor, drama, and romantic parts?