"Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Max stuck her arm out. The dark complected man wearing thick-rimmed glasses nodded and then bent over her with a syringe. The chill of his fingers seeped through his tacky latex gloves as he gripped her forearm. She sat and watched the slender needle disappear into the flesh at the crook of her arm. She hated needles, even though they didn't really hurt. The sting of this one barely registered in her brain.
After all, we were built to withstand pain, she thought. Pain of all kinds.
She looked past the scientist to where Logan was waiting impatiently on the other side of the cheap motel room. He was pacing. Max was certain he would've been hovering if he hadn't been afraid of distracting the precious scientist.
Her gaze returned to the syringe in her arm. She watched as the cure was slowly pushed into her vein. It all came down to this moment. The months of searching and anguish and worry that she might accidentally kill Logan with the barest of brushes, it was all coming to an end before her eyes. Max wondered how she was supposed to feel. How would a normal girl feel? She frowned. A normal girl would never have been able to carry a virus specifically targeted to someone else's DNA. It seemed as though her blood were starting to run cold from the needle's insertion point. She felt numb.
A nasal voice brought her attention back to the man next to her, as he pulled the empty syringe out of her arm. "The serum will take twelve to twenty hours to neutralize the virus."
Logan's response was laden with disappointment, "That long?"
The scientist adjusted his eyeglasses. "It's possible that herÉuhÉunique chemistry might assimilate the cure more quickly, but I can't know for sure." He shrugged and snatched up the small duffle bag of money that Logan had placed on the table earlier.
Max stood and pulled on her leather jacket. "I've carried the bitch for this long, what's another day?" She didn't look at either man.
"Right." Logan nodded. "She's right." He held his hand out to the scientist. "Thanks Doc. I'll be sure to let Eyes Only know that he owns you one."
The weasely man shook the proffered hand and said, "You do that."
Logan turned to Max. "Ready to getÉ" He stopped when he realized that he was speaking to the air. She had already left the room without him. He gave the scientist a nervous smile and then made his own hasty departure.
He found her standing next to his beaten up Aztek in the gravel-paved parking lot of the motel. She stood statue still and stared out into the distance. A small breeze was blowing her long, straight hair away from her face. Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her black leather jacket, and the light of the full moon made her golden skin appear very pale. Logan noticed that her exotic features were devoid of any expression or emotion. It made him nervous, but he cleared his throat and smiled through it. The car doors automatically unlocked when he pressed a button on his key chain. Max got in without a word.
Logan followed suit, pulling himself into the driver's seat and closing his door. He glanced to his side. Max was still staring into the distance, only this time her gaze was through the glass of the windshield. He wracked his brain for something to say, but couldn't come up with anything. Instead, he took a deep breath and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot of the dingy motel, and heading back toward the lights of downtown Seattle.
A thick silence reigned over the car. Logan couldn't help but notice how differently Max was acting compared to the last time she'd been virus-free. Even though that had been a temporary cure, she'd seemed so much more enthusiastic, so much less distant than she seemed at this moment. The crease between his brows deepened as he tried to figure out what had changed.
From the passenger seat, behind a perfect Manticore mask, Max's mind was churning. The numbness was wearing off, and her emotions and thoughts were swirling in unsortable chaos. With this sudden appearance of the cure and an end to the virus, her world was tilting on an all new axis. She was relieved that the virus was finally gone. It had been a black cloud over her life for months. But, mixed in with that relief were weariness, uncertainty, and dread. Only recently had she managed to find a kind of fragile balance in her life and relationships. Now, her illusion of having some sort of control was splintering, and panic was encroaching. She felt vulnerable.
"So, my place?" Logan's question seemed unnaturally loud over the cranky hum of his car. It brought Max's full attention to him for the first time since she'd been injected.
She shook her head in response, the muscles across her shoulders tense. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea." At Logan's dejected expression, she rushed on, "You know, temptation and all that." Her eyes lowered to her hands resting in her lap. "I think we should just wait until we're sure the cure has kicked in."
Logan tried to keep the disappointment from his voice. "Well, what about your bike? You left it in the penthouse."
Max shrugged, her mind already returning to its introspection. "I'll come by before work tomorrow and pick it up."
"Oh. Alright." That settled, Logan didn't know what else to say. They lapsed into another heavy silence.
Now Max felt guilt join in on her turmoil party. She knew she wasn't being fair to Logan. After all, this is what they'd been waiting for, fighting for for so many months. She should have been happy along with him Ð enthusiastic even. But she wasn't, and she couldn't explain to him why. The ground beneath her seemed shaky, making her wary of taking a single step.
The connection that she'd felt to Logan was still there. It was a bond born out of reciprocity that had grown into love. Yet, for as long as they'd known each other there'd been some reason for her to keep her distance, some type of circumstantial barrier that allowed her to keep parts of herself safe and secret. They were both just testing the waters that first year, figuring out the rules of their alliance. Eventually, they built both trust and friendship, and then something more.
It was around that time that she'd seen what Tinga had with Charlie Ð despite all the secrets Ð and Max started to believe that maybe she could have a normal love life too. Of course, then the mission to take down Manticore went sideways and she was captured.
It was the knowledge that she had Logan and something of a normal life waiting for her on the outside that had sustained her and given her strength while she was trapped in Manticore. In the dark of her cell, the memory of their budding relationship came to represent all those things about her and in her life that made her an individual and not just some automaton created in a lab. In her mind those memories came to mean everything simply because Renfro and the rest couldn't take them from her. She had wrapped it around herself and used it as emotional armor to keep her sane inside of that hell. For that, she owed Logan more than he might ever know.
When she'd escaped Manticore to save Logan's life, she'd started to believe that she could recreate the happiness that she had envisioned having with him. Suddenly, there was the virus, a new barrier keeping Logan at arm's length, and this time it was physical and real, not just something in her head. And all these months with the virus had made her start to wonder if there weren't some larger, reason for this distance. She realized that somewhere deep down inside she had started to believe that they would never find the cure.
Every muscle in her body was rigid with tension. Two of her knuckles cracked by themselves. She could have sworn the sound echoed in the car. She concentrated on loosening everything, on making her body relax into the passenger seat. She would not break down like she had last week at Logan's. She would not ever be that weak again.
Max could feel Logan glancing at her from time to time. She didn't want to hurt him. She'd never actually had to tell him anything. He'd always just sort of stumbled onto the big information and then asked her to fill in a few of the blanks. But, it was the little details that were the real secrets. The things that she'd seen and felt and done, those were the important pieces, the things about her that he could never know, parts of herself that she would always have to keep from him because he wouldn't understand. There weren't many people in her life who would.
"Does Alec remember anything from last week yet?"
Startled, Max turned from the window to stare at the angled planes of his profile. "What made you ask that?"
"Well, I was just putting together a mental to-do list and I remembered that the workmen will finally finish repairing my ruined windows tomorrow." That wasn't really what had made him think of Alec, but he couldn't tell her the truth.
"OhÉyeah, send me the bill."
"You're kidding me, right? I thought you were big on Alec learning some responsibility and how the real world works?"
"I'm not gonna ask him to pay for something that he doesn't remember breaking, especially when it's partially my fault." She looked away from him. "I may be a bitch, but I'm trying to come correct," she mumbled to herself.
Logan caught her words and sighed. An apology was on the tip of his tongue when the low buzz of a phone on vibrate barged into their conversation. Max immediately unclipped her new toy from her belt and answered it for the first time.
"Go for Max."
"You wouldn't be trying to renege on our pool game, now would you Maxie?" Alec's mischievous voice on the other end of the phone brought a smile to her face. A smile she let out unchecked since he couldn't actually see her. She could hear the commotion of Crash in the background.
"You wish!" She caught Logan's frown out of the corner of her eye. "We'll have to do it another time though. I'm stillÉuh, tied up with that thing I had to do."
She could practically hear his eyes rolling. "Don't tell me you're going on some crazy rescue mission without me."
"Uh, nothing that exciting." She swallowed. "I really don't need backup. It's all good." There was a pause on the other end of the line. Max noticed the fading of background noise, as if Alec had turned his back on the party, or was hunching over the phone.
His next question was soft, sober, and totally unexpected, "Are you alright, Maxie?"
Keep it together, Max.
She forced her normal mocking tone into her response, "I'm always alright. I'll see you tomorrow." Before Alec could express any more concern, Max hung up. Her blank face was back as she clipped the phone to her belt.
"When did you get a cell phone?" It blended so seamlessly into the black of her clothing that he hadn't even noticed it resting on her hip.
"Alec gave it to me today. A thanks for saving his ass last week."
Logan snorted. "Let me guess, he stole it?"
She shrugged and simply said "Not sure."
He was confused by her answer and by the fact that she was being so neutral when it came to Alec. It wasn't like Max, who was usually so vocal about Alec's shortcomings. He considered asking her what was up, but he wasn't sure he wanted her answer. Instead, he changed the subject back to them.
"Uh, you know, Max, the night is still young. Are you sure you don't want to spend a little time together?" He tried to think of an activity that would appeal to her. "We could go hang out at Crash."
"No!" She had the horrifying vision of running into her friends and having Logan announce to them all that the virus was dead. The sensation of being trapped made her want to physically lash out, the need was almost overwhelming. But she pushed it down, and realized how she must have sounded to this man who loved her. "I mean, not tonight. I'm just suddenly really, really tired," she'd said. "I'm sorry."
"I understand," Logan said, in an attempt to make them both feel better. "Probably too much excitement." An earnest smile forced itself over his sharp features.
"Yeah, that's probably it."
"Besides, we'll have all of tomorrow night and many more nights after that."
"Yeah, I guess we will." She looked at him, but just couldn't seem to smile back. Before she could witness his smile fading, Max turned to stare out her window at the broken city passing by.
Twenty minutes later, Max walked into her dark apartment and breathed a sigh of relief that Cindy wasn't home yet. She considered getting on her Ninja and heading to the Space Needle to get her head straight, but she hadn't been lying when she told Logan that she was feeling tired. Fatigue had come on her all of a sudden, making her thoughts even more jumbled and chaotic than they had been before. She couldn't seem to focus on completing one train of thought, and every thought seemed to carry heavy emotional weight. Her head was starting to throb just behind her eyes. She definitely needed a cat nap. A couple of hours' rest and she'd feel better.
She didn't even bother removing her clothes before lying down on her bed facing her nightstand. A flash of white and faded violet caught her eye and she reached out to it. Her fingers stroked gently over fragile, crinkled petals. It was the flower that kiddy Alec had picked for her from that snobby bitch's garden. Max had allowed it to dry and now it rested on her table, a reminder of the time she'd spent with him.
I made a promise. A promise not to lose Alec.
But, she'd made other promises in the past. To Brin. She'd cried and she'd walked away. She'd promised Brin she'd come for her no matter what, and then she'd just chained her to that Manticore hell. To her nephew Case, Tinga's son. She'd promised that she'd get his mother back. But she was too late. She was too wrapped up in her own life. Images seemed to fly past her eyes. She'd failed so many people that she'd cared about in her life. Where are Krit and Syl and the others? She'd never really tried hard enough. Zack. There were promises that she should have made and times when she should have tried harder. Ben.
Max closed her eyes and pushed the pain and the memories away into the back of her mind.
She used to think it was easier before, when she just didn't give a damn about anything. But that was a lie, she'd always cared about something. Why did her life have to always be so complicated? She was a fighter, and yet fate kept throwing her into these situations that she couldn't fight her way out of.
Am I really choosing how to live my life? Where's my freedom?
Deep down in the pit of her stomach fear was uncoiling like a newly awakened beast. It stretched and pushed at her consciousness. Like she was approaching the edge of some cavernous pit and she was afraid to look down. She tried to make her mind a blank, tried closing her demons back in their cages. She would beat this bitch, just like she's fought and destroyed every other obstacle in her life. With that last thought, Max fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
About mid-morning the next day, Alec strode into Jam Pony with a confident smile on his face. Having done a pickup in his sector on the way into work, he went straight to the dispatch desk to drop off the package.
"Hey Normal, what's the good word?"
"Good morning, Alec, my boy. I'm sorry to do this to you, but I've got a hot run to Sector 12. Since Missy Miss is late Ð again Ð I don't have anyone else."
"Not to worry, Normal. Besides, I'm sure Max's excuse will be nothing less than spectacularly entertaining." He gave Normal his patented lopsided grin and shoved the new envelope into his messenger bag along with a couple others that needed to go to the same sector.
"Be that as it may, she better get herself in here soon or she'll be making those excuses to the proprietor of another establishment. Mark my words."
Alec chuckled. "I hear ya, boss."
As he exited, the building the cheerful expression fell from his face. He couldn't explain it, but Max being late had him worried. It wasn't unusual at all for Max to be late Ð or to not show at all sometimes Ð but Alec's spidey-sense was tingling. He pulled out his phone and pressed 2. Her mobile number was already programmed into his speed dial. He didn't really have that many close friends.
After a few rings the automated response kicked in. "This is Max. Keep it short." Even her voicemail gave attitude.
"Uh, hey Maxie. Just wanted to make sure you had a good excuse to give Normal. I mean, if you get canned how do you expect to pay me after I win our bet? Hit me back." He hung up and took off on his runs.
His drop offs in Sector 12 took up the rest of the morning. He tried calling Max again, but didn't get an answer. He didn't leave another message, though. Didn't want to pick up Logan's paging habits. It was well after lunch by the time he made it back to Jam Pony. He spotted OC on the bench between their lockers and headed straight for her.
"Whazzup Baby Boo," she called out at his approach.
"Hey OC. Sketch," he greeted the other messenger who was sitting on the bench as well.
Sketchy grinned stupidly. "Hey my brotha. I was just trying to get details on Cindy's late night date after she left us at Crash."
Alec smiled. "Oh yeah, how did the little rendezvous with your new mystery girl go?"
"Original Cindy's new Lickity Chick is all that." OC raised one beautifully-manicured hand in testimony. "Believe me when I tell you that Little Suki knows how to satisfy a sistah."
"Wait," Alec cut in, "did you just say Ð"
"Yes I did. After she realized you were a typical man eatin' off of more than one plate, she decided that the grass was greener on my team's field. So, I sincerely thank you."
"Damn, Alec," Sketchy lamented. "You coulda had a threesome with Suki and Marina, man!"
OC reached over and hit the blonde upside his greasy head. "Fool, shut up."
"So, uh, I guess you didn't talk to Max at all last night?" Alec's voice even sounded casual to his own ears. Good.
"She was asleep when I got home and then this morning girl just would not get outta the bed. I tried to wake her up twice."
Alec raised one expressive eyebrow at that. "You're kidding me. Miss I-have-shark-DNA-and-don't-ever-need-sleep-ever was dead to the world?"
"First time, she just rolled over without a peep. Second time, she growled at Original Cindy and threw a pillow. If the girl's gonna be like that, she can make her own damn excuses to the boss man." Alec laughed to cover his relief. He had begun to worry that maybe Max had gotten herself into something last night that she really couldn't handle.
"Oh my god! Where's my camera?" Sketchy jumped up to find his equipment, as Cindy and Alec turned to see what had gotten him so riled up.
Speak of the devil. Max had just stepped into Jam Pony. Her face was framed by a thick curtain of soft, wavy hair and her eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses. A blood red tank hugged the curves of her chest and stopped at her navel to reveal the toned flesh of her stomach. A black leather mini skirt sat low on her hips, pleats flaring as she strode down the ramp and showing off the strength of her lean thighs above knee-high black boots. A coat, also made of black leather, draped over her slender figure, flowing around her ankles while her hips moved to their own hypnotic rhythm. More than a few conversations broke off mid-sentence as she made her entrance. She looked like a wild thing that had just escaped its cage.
Alec was at once more attracted to her and more wary of her than he'd ever been before. Max came closer and he raised his head and sniffed at the air. Her scent hit him and he felt a tightening in his crotch just as his proverbial hackles rose. A roil of instincts crashed through him while he stood there unable to decide which was the greater need: to fight, to flee, or to fuck. He gave himself a mental shake and fought to control these conflicting reactions that were threatening to overcome him. His confusion was almost palpable, but he knew two things for sure: Max was beautiful and Max was dangerous.
"Wow, Boo!" Cindy's voice rang out from beside Alec. "You lookin' so hot ya makin' a girl sweat!"
Very quietly, not taking his eyes off of Max, Alec whispered, "OC, get behind me now."
OC looked at him askance, placing her hand on her hip and raising an eloquent eyebrow. "Say what?"
"Now!" The unwavering command in his voice was unmistakable and had Cindy moving behind him before she knew what she was doing. She was getting a glimpse of the soldier Alec was born and bred to be. What the hell was he seeing in Max that had him reacting this way?
Max kept walking until she was barely more than arm's length away from Alec. The hair on his arms stood up. She put a hand on her hip in a typical Max pose and smiled a sly smile at him.
"You've been calling me all morning, so I thought I'd swing by and see if you wanted to come out and play. There's a shipment of rare originals coming in." She licked her rosy lips. "How about it, Alec. Wanna have some fun?"
"I don't think that's a good idea, Max." He kept his tone carefully neutral.
"You're disappointing me. I thought for sure I could depend on you for a little action. I know how you love a good heist."
Alec glanced around. Max's new look was drawing too much attention. "This is not the time or place to talk about this. Why don't we go somewhere else?" He asked the question, but he didn't move toward her. He was waiting for her reaction, his instincts were shouting that he was treading a really fine and very precarious line.
Sketchy chose that exact moment to appear. He gave a wolf whistle and snapped a shot. Alec couldn't grab him without causing a scene, he was too far awayÉand too close to Max. The lanky blonde lowered the lens and ogled her.
"Damn. You are the hottest honey since the Pulse." Suddenly Max's fist shot out, sending Sketchy flying. His camera skidded to one corner as he hit the ground, unconscious at OC's feet.
Alec closed the distance between himself and Max. "What the hell are you doing? You'll blow our cover," he whispered for her ears alone. He was careful not to touch her.
She lowered her head to stare at him over the rim of her dark glasses, but the eyes that held his were not her normal chocolate brown. One had gone completely black as if the pupil had bled over the iris and white of her eye. In the other, the pupil was now an oblong slit resting in a sea of amber like the eyes of some great jungle cat. It took all of Alec's control not to take a step back. He knew that she would see any retreat as a sign of weakness. Weakness would make him prey to the predator standing in front of him.
"What's the matter, Alec? You afraid of a little exposure?" The way she was looking at him made him feel like a piece of meat. Not the kind you tear and rip apart with your teeth, but the kind you want to lick, suck, and savor before you devour it completely.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Normal's voice cut in as he approached them waving his clipboard, completely unaware of the possible danger. "What have I said about rough housing, Missy Miss? Besides that, you're late! So bip, bip, bÑ" Before Normal could get out the rest of his catchphrase he was pinned against the lockers, Max's hand locked firmly around his throat. His surprised exclamation came out as a barely audible squeak.
"I heard you the first time, Reagan." She brought her face so close they were nose to nose.
All around them the usual cacophonous activity of the bike messenger center skidded to a complete halt as the employees stopped to gape at the scene. Alec was next to her in an instant. He jerked her arm down before she crushed their boss's windpipe and spun her around to face him. She bared her teeth and literally hissed at him. The sound was as quiet as an intimate whisper. The hairs along the nape of Alec's neck rose with a prickle. He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to take a swipe at her Ð not enough to hurt her, but enough to get her attention and let her know that he wasn't cowed.
Instead, he stood staring down at her, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, and hissed back, "Not here." He wasn't entirely sure if he was speaking to her or himself.
The smile she gave him was a little bit of sex and a whole lot of predatory challenge. "All right, Alec. Have it your way." She sniffed at him. "I'm sure we'll catch up to each other later."
Max walked away and Alec watched her go. He made sure to stay between her and their friends. OC was now kneeling next to Sketchy's prone form. Alec stood stock still until Max disappeared around the corner. Then he dropped to one knee next to OC and Sketchy.
"Oh my Lord," Normal said, rubbing at his neck. "It's finally happened hasn't it? She's finally snapped! Cindy, I thought you said she was getting professional help for these violent urges?" OC just rolled her eyes at him and kept cradling Sketchy's head in her lap. There was blood beneath his nose and on his cheeks.
Alec did a quick check of the fallen man's vitals. He lifted an eyelid and checked Sketchy's pupils. No concussion. Alec's transgenic hearing caught the roar of Max's Ninja as it sped away. He brought his attention back to unconscious messenger. He took the opportunity while Sketchy was out to snap his friend's nose back into place. The sickening crunch brought Sketchy's eyes snapping open.
"Sonovabeeatch!" The scream bounced off the lockers around them.
Alec put a hand on Sketchy's shoulder. "You're alright, buddy." He turned to their boss. "Normal, could you get Sketch some ice?"
"Sure thing, Rock Star." Normal rushed off to do the ex-cage fighter's bidding. When Alec turned back around he found OC staring hard at him, concern written all over her pretty features.
"You gonna tell Original Cindy what the hell is up wit' her girl?"
Alec sighed and shook his head. "I don't have a damn clue." He looked back over his shoulder to the exit. "But, I plan to find out."
TBC