A/N: Thanks for reviewing. I'm working to update this piece everyday and Snugglebug and I are still aiming to finish it within thenext few days. However, our trek would be eased by some of those lovely little things, you guess it, reviews. ;) So hit the purple button and tell us what you think.
Home of Captain and Mrs. Harmon Rabb
Dahlgren, VA
November 22,2029
2045 ZULU
Over the next few hours, Harm had hauled the remaining boxes upstairs and began to go through them, the task became more of a trip down memory lane than he ever imagined it would be. He found the ornaments the kids had made in school, the Popsicle sticks with globs of glue and glitter on them. There was the little Christmas tree that Nikki had done in first grade, made out of play dough and painted with tempera. The star had broken off, but it was still a precious treasure. He pulled out another ornament and unwrapped it, stopping cold in his tracks as he remembered where it'd come from...
Home of Commander and Mrs. Harmon Rabb
Dahlgren, VA
November 25, 2001
1714 ZULU
Mac sat on the floor with Mark and Nikki in their playpen. She was showing them ornaments and they were smiling and laughing at them. "We have to get rid of some of these or we won't have room for any new ones," she explained to the twins. "That's why Mommy is going to weed out some of these things. What about this one?" She held up a small gold snowman, about 4 inches high and adorned with a faded red ribbon. The gold was bent a little around the edges and the ribbon was frayed, but overall it still had a special beauty about it.
Nikki laughed at the battered ornament, "Yeah, Mama thinks so too, this one goes."
"What goes?" asked Harm as he came in from the kitchen with two mugs of hot chocolate.
"Oh, I decided to get rid of some of the rattier ornaments that's all," Mac replied. "We need room for our own collection."
"Oh, okay," he said. "What've you purged so far?"
"So far, a few of these old pinecone ones I made in Kindergarten and this," she held up the snowman for him to see.
"No way!" he exclaimed and grabbed it from her hand.
"Harm, its old, the bow is frayed, it's sharp. One of the babies could get hurt." Mac immediately began making her case.
"It stays," he said, staring at the small decoration as it lay in his hand.
"Harm, its junk," Mac sighed. "If you hold on to every scrap from your childhood we won't be able to save anything from theirs." Nikki was beginning to fuss at the tension.
"My Dad sent me this," he said softly, eyes not leaving the ornament.
"Well just because..." Mac began before his words registered. Her face immediately softened, "Oh Sweetie."
He ran his fingers over the ribbon, and remembered the day in mid - December, so long ago, his mother handed him an envelope addressed just to him, from his father. He was only 5 years old, so getting his "own" mail was the best thing ever. He tore the top off the envelope and pulled out a small bundle of tissue paper. Removing it with a zeal possessed by all 6-year-old boys, he discovered the snowman ornament inside. His eyes lit up as he looked at it, how shiny it was. With his mother's help he put it on the top branch of the Christmas tree, just beneath the angel that sat on top. That Christmas Eve, his father went missing, and every year since then when Harm had looked at that snowman ornament, he'd remembered the Christmas of 1969 like it was yesterday.
Mac said nothing more to him, just opened her arms in silent invitation.
He went to her, much in need of a hug just then. "We have to keep it, Mac."
Mac smiled against his hair as her cheek rested there, "You have to let it go, Sweetheart."
He shook his head. "I can't," he said softly. "It's the last thing he gave me."
She rubbed his shoulders as she held him, "You have to."
"I can't," he said again as Nikki began to cry. "How come I have to? I don't understand."
"Because you..." she said pulling back.
"I what?" he asked, looking down at the babies in their playpen.
Mac rose and moved away from him.
He picked up his fussy daughter and put her against his shoulder. "Mac?"
Mac reached into the playpen and picked up Mark. "You have to give it up Harm. You have to."
"Why?" he asked again. "I just don't see why you keep saying that? It's the last thing my father gave me in this lifetime, Mac, the last thing! I'm not parting with it!""
"Yes you are! You have to!" Mac insisted.
"I don't have to!" he said, Nikki beginning to all-out cry. "Why are you so sure I have to, huh?"
"Because you have a son!" Mac replied. "You have a baby son now who...who deserves to have a piece of his grandfather for his own. You have memories, and stories, Mark doesn't even have that. You have to give it up...so...so it can be his, and one day his child's."
He stood frozen in place, staring at his little son, lying in Mac's arms. It all made sense now. She was right; he had to give it up. "Okay," he said softly. "I'll keep it and…when he grows up, he can have it. I promise."
Mac moved closer and leaned up for a kiss, "I'm sorry I hurt you, but you wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to explain."
"I do that sometimes," he admitted, putting an arm around her. "I love you, though, you and the kids. Never forget that."
"Never," Mac whispered and leaned into his embrace.
Home of Captain and Mrs. Harmon Rabb
Dahlgren, VA
November 22, 2029
2152 ZULU
Mac entered the room and saw her husband lost in deep thought.
"Penny for them?" she asked sitting on his ottoman.
"Oh, hi sweetie," he said, looking up only for a moment. "I was just thinking about this old snowman. You remember it?"
"I do," Mac replied. "I also remember what we said you were going to do with it."
He nodded. "I'd love to do it this year, but..." His voice trailed off; he was missing his kids badly. "But..." he continued, "I... Do you think maybe they're staying away because of this?" He held up his left hand, the one that was giving him trouble.
"Not for one...Harm is that what you think?" Mac asked moving closer.
He shrugged. "I hope not, you know, but..."
"No, tell me," she said sympathetically.
He sighed and leaned against her. "Maybe it scares them to see me like this."
"It does," Mac replied. "It scares me but that isn't why they didn't come. They had other things to do. Shelby is at school, Chris is off being like Daddy, Mark is busy being a Daddy, and you know Phil is close to his sister. They wouldn't lie. In fact, Mark and I had a long talk about all this when it first happened, and usually he calls after each flare up and we talk about it."
"I know," he said. "I'm just really missing everyone right now."
"They'll be here for Christmas," Mac assured him. "They better be," she said to herself.
Harm managed a little smile. "That's right, they will. Hey, how's dinner coming along?"
"It's just about ready," Mac replied. "You have all the ornaments you want to put up after?"
"I think so, yeah," he said, looking down at the array he'd spread out across the coffee and end tables.
"Come then," Mac said reaching to hand him up. "Let's eat."
The couple sat down to a quiet dinner of turkey and dressing, sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and rolls, the same thing Mac had always prepared for the holidays. Eating didn't take long, not a fraction as long as decorating the tree. They reminisced with each ornament they hung and smiled as the empty tree filled up and came to life as they added each piece. When it was complete, they stood back and held one another, admiring their work and all it represented.
Home of Captain and Mrs. Harmon Rabb
Dahlgren, VA
November 23, 2029
0214 ZULU
"Well, I'm tired," Mac announced. "Let's get these cleaned up and maybe curl up with some cocoa and watch a DVD?"
"Okay, sure," he said. "Any one in particular?"
"Miracle on 34th Street?" Mac suggested trying to lift one of the bigger boxes.
"Hey, I've got it," he said, reaching for it.
"Harm, I can do it," she said. "You get the other one."
He knew it was futile to fight her, and he also knew he really couldn't manage the larger box anyway. He reached for the smaller one instead. "Okay, let's go."
In no time at all they had the boxes store and Mac went and dragged down a few of their comforters as Harm worked on a fire. She sat down, kicked off her shoes and rubbed her right knee.
"Oh, the joys of growing old, huh?" he asked her, sitting down beside her.
"My knees are the worst," she sighed and put her legs on his, a silent hint.
With a soft smile and a softer touch, Harm began massaging the aching joint. It pained him that she was in pain, but this was one little way he could help ease that a little.
"I should have these fixed," she sighed. "But then I wouldn't have an excuse for this," she whispered leaning back and enjoying his touch.
"Since when did you need an excuse?" he asked, winking at her the way he'd done so many times in their younger years.
"Since I got old and unattractive," Mac replied. "A bit more please."
He continued his work against her knee. "Mac, you're not old and you're certainly not unattractive. You're beautiful."
"I have wrinkles," she sighed. "And puffy knees and a round bottom."
"I'm getting older too, Mac," Harm tried to soothe.
Mac shook her head, "But women get "old". Men get "distinguished."
He laughed a bit. "Okay, am I 'distinguished' to you?"
"No, you're you and I love you. Bad hand, bad hip and all," she sighed. "That feels so good."
"Oh yeah?" he asked coyly as his hand made its way up her leg, just underneath the hem of her skirt. "How about that?"
"Even better," she sighed. "Do you feel up to making love?" she asked. They had done it the night before and sometimes with his MS he was badly fatigued.
"I do," he said, softly caressing her leg. "I always have, and I hope I always will."
"Sometimes you are so tired," she sighed in a breathy voice, enjoying his touch.
"Sometimes," he agreed in a low voice. "But some things have a way of making me forget about being tired."
"Let's relocate this a bit then," Mac replied. "Can you run up and get our pillows and stuff. I have an idea."
He smiled and rose from the couch. He loved the sound of that, "an idea".
Mac moved the blankets and some of the couch cushions to the floor making a makeshift bed near their tree. She opened her blouse a bit and removed her stockings, then snuggled beneath the covers as she awaited Harm.
He returned after a few moments carrying their pillows and one of their favorite CD's. "I thought this might be nice," he said softly as he placed the disc into the player and turned it on low.
"It is nice," Mac replied. "It is also cold in here and I'm all alone."
"Well we have to fix that, huh?" he asked as he placed the pillows next to the cozy space she'd made on the floor, kicked his shoes off and untucked his shirt before joining her beneath the blankets.
Mac snuggled close to Harm and placed an angel kiss on his jaw, "You smell good. Did you put on cologne?"
"Little bit," he admitted. "Thought you'd like that."
Mac smiled, "I've made love to you when you smelled like diapers and baby vomit, but yeah," another soft kiss. "I like it."
He laughed a little. "We've been through just about everything and loved all the way through, huh?"
"We have," Mac smiled. "We most certainly have. With you by my side, there is nothing I can't face."
He leaned in and kissed her. "Same here, my love. Same here."
Mac leaned into his kiss and put her arms around his body, pulling him closer. She felt his good hand begin to work on massaging her back as he slipped his tongue into her mouth.
"Like that, huh?" he whispered against her ear.
Mac only offered a soft moan in reply, she was, as always when her husband was touching her and loving her incapable of speech.
He smiled to himself. After all this time, he didn't even have to ask. He moved his good hand from her back to her shoulders, his "bad" hand unable to do much. "Does your neck hurt?" he whispered.
"Not much," she replied. "Its nothing compared to my knees tonight," she told him, pressing her cheek against his and relishing in the touch of his hands and the warmth of his body.
"Hmm, maybe I need to focus my attentions elsewhere then" he said in a low, deep voice, sliding his hands lightly against her body from her shoulders to her knees.
"Mmm," Mac sighed. "Just...don't worry about them," she told him. "Just leave them."
"No, no," he said, sliding her skirt up a few inches to fully reveal her knees to his view. "They're hurting you and I want to help." With infinite tenderness, he began rubbing soft circles against her left knee.
Mac sighed and enjoyed the relief his warm hands brought a few moments, then, "I just miss the days when we touched to touch, not to relieve pain."
"All part of growing old, Mac," he said, his hand still massaging the inflamed joint.
Mac relented, "Can you do the other one?" she asked while reaching her hands around to massage and caress his left hip.
"Gladly," he said sweetly, doing just as she asked. "This is nice, being out here like this."
"It is," she smiled the started to laugh.
He stopped what he was doing and leaned over to face her. "Care to share the joke, my love?"
Mac nodded, "I'm picturing the two of us trying to get out of this cocoon."
He pondered her query for a few moments, and began to laugh himself. "Well, even if we wind up stuck down here for awhile, eventually we'll find a way up. Never let it be said we let anything keep us down." He winked and smiled at her, the same smile which had captured her heart so many years before.
"That is true," she sighed and caresses his beloved face. "I guess I forget we're not thirty anymore. Hell, we're not even fifty anymore, but we won't let that stop us will we?"
Smile softening but not disappearing, he looked into her eyes. "No."
Harm leaned over her once again to kiss her lips firmly. With her assistance he was able to rid her of her blouse and ease her skirt from her body without having to take his lips off her skin. Try as he might, his left hand wouldn't do anything he wanted it to do tonight, but with the give and take they always shared he was able to manage his role unimpaired. Finally Mac lay on the quilts, sans clothes, every inch, visible to his questing eyes.
"Wow..." was all he could think to say. Sure, time had changed her body some, it was a simple reality of life on earth, but he still found her to be one of the most amazing sights of all his life.
Mac sometimes was disappointed by those natural changes, but not tonight as she watched her husband, who had changed himself love her with just his eyes. She reached out two open arms, "Come Harm. Come to me."
The rest of the world seemed to disappear as he moved towards her, towards the love of his life. He leaned gently atop her and whispered into her ear "You're so amazing, baby. So amazing..."
Mac smiled and slowly lifted her legs, bending her knees to give him easier access, "Do you need help?" she asked moving her hip so he got her meaning.
"I think I can manage," he said, winking at her as he slid his right hand beneath the top of her panties. "There are some things this disease just can't take away," he added with a smile.
Mac smiled and moved her body to make it easier for him to rid her of the last barrier. As he worked she undid the zipper on his pants and worked to rid him of his clothing. They made love slower now, and with a few different kinds of groans thrown in amidst the pleasure, but it was still a breathtaking experience if there ever was one.
As in so many times past, the joining of their bodies was an act of complete abandonment and utmost love. Slowly, gently, tenderly the two became one as he leaned in to place whisper soft kisses against the side of her neck, just one of his little nuances, one of their favorites.
When it was over and done, Harm moved off of Mac and lay beside her, hand playing with her hair. "I think that was one of our best," Mac sighed.
"Mmm...yeah, I think so," he agreed, nestling in close as he could get. "I love you so much, Mac."
"I love you," she whispered. "Don't leave me okay?"
"Not as long as there's breath in my body" he promised.
"Not even then," she whispered resting her head on his shoulder. "I can't move."
"Oh, sorry baby," he said, moving a little bit so she could free herself from the covers.
"No, no!" she said and grabbed at him. "I mean I'm too tired to move. Don't go!"
"Okay, it's okay," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Calm down, sweetie. What's wrong?"
Mac shook her head, "Just hold me. Hold me tight."
"Sure," he said softly, pulling her body close to his. "Sure. I've got you, its okay."
"I don't know what just came over me," Mac sighed as she snuggled in his arms and tried to stop trembling. "I just got so scared and I don't know where it came from."
"It doesn't matter," said Harm. "I've got you and its all okay."
Mac calmed herself down in his arms, then told him, "You should go up to bed."
"You too," he said.
"I'll be up later, just go on," Mac replied.
"Okay," he agreed. "Not too long, though. It's been a long day."
Mac nodded, and watched as he went upstairs. She listened as he washed his face, brushed his teeth, and went to their bed. It was only then that she let herself cry.
Home of Captain and Mrs. Harmon Rabb
Dahlgren, VA
November 23, 2029
0619 ZULU
Harm laid in their bed, wondering what had caused his beloved wife to cling to him so tightly. His mind began to play through all kinds of different things...was she sick? Was it something with one of the kids? He just didn't know, and it frightened him. He laid in bed for over an hour when he finally decided to go check on her. He returned downstairs, clad in his PJ's and robe, to find her still on the floor, eyes red and puffy.
"You should be sleeping," she said when she saw him come down the stairs. "You need to rest so you can heal."
"I can't rest in the big bed all alone," he said. "Talk to me, sweetie. What's wrong?"
"Everything," she sobbed. "Everything is wrong."
He was baffled. "Mac, I...? What happened?"
"The kids didn't come home and I miss them and your hand and...I can't get off this floor!" she cried and clung once again.
"Oh, baby," he said, kneeling down to help her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Be...Because there's nothing you can do about it and I know you'd want to and...This was a stupid idea!" she sobbed.
"It wasn't stupid," he said. "It was amazing."
Mac looked at him with watery eyes, "I'm not sure I can get up."
"I'll help you," he said, still kneeling beside her. "Here, take my hands."
Still she hesitated.
He moved his left arm a little and offered her his forearm instead. He knew she was afraid to take hold of his bad hand. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get you up and get to bed, and I'll hold you all night if you want me to."
"Close your eyes," she told him putting her hands on his arms.
Though unsure of her intentions, he did as she asked.
Mac used his arms to pull herself up, and while his closed eyes hid from his view the pain on her face she couldn't stifle the cry when she put her weight on her swollen knees. She stumbled and fell against him.
"Whoa, hey," he said, catching her against his chest. "You okay?"
Mac nodded, "Can you just pull out the sofa?" she asked. "I'll sleep down here tonight."
"It's chilly down here," he said. "Are you sure?"
She nodded, "I can't, Harm. I just can't," she looked at their long staircase.
"Okay, baby," he said. "I'll go get our pillows and we'll camp out down here. Anything to make you feel better."
"You can't sleep on this bed, your back...we're a pair aren't we?" she asked wiping a few leftover tears.
He smiled. "We are, yes... a perfectly matched pair."
"Go on to bed," Mac urged. "I'll be okay down here."
He took a gently hold of her shoulders. "Mac, you're upset and you've been crying and I'm not about to leave you down here alone. Have I ever left you alone when I knew you were sad? Can you think of any time I've done that?"
She shook her head, "But I know you can't sleep on the couch and if you don't rest you'll feel too sick to go bargain hunting with me tomorrow. That is provided I can walk. Its never hurt like this."
"But I don't wanna be away from you," he said, eyes pleading with her, knowing there might not be a compromise but hoping they'd make one somehow.
"I'll be right here," she soothed. "And tomorrow if I can't get up the steps, we'll call Phil and see if he can help us rearrange some things okay?"
With a reluctant sigh, he agreed. "Can I at least bring down your favorite blanket?"
She nodded, "And a few pillows to go under my knees and maybe the joint cream," she told him sensing he needed to do something for her.
"I'll be right back," he said, dropping a kiss on her cheek.
In short order Harm had the bed pulled out, the pillow and blankets there and the joint cream she'd asked for. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "This was supposed to be a beautiful night."
"It was beautiful," he said. "We haven't done that, made love someplace other than the bedroom like that in a long time."
"Not likely to be repeated," Mac sighed as she put her knees on the pillows. "Oooh."
"You okay?" he asked, knowing what that sound meant.
"Yeah, its just my knees," she sighed. "Why did my legs have to go?"
"I wish I knew, Mac," he said, situating one of the pillows just a bit further underneath her leg. "Many things in this life don't come with answers, though."
"I know," she nodded. "Just get me my blanket and I'll try to sleep. You need to sleep too. I know you do."
"I will," he promised her. "I'll make us breakfast in the morning. Waffles and fruit sound good?"
Mac nodded, "I want to go shopping."
He smiled and gave her another kiss. "Sleep well, my little bargain hound. I love you."
"I love you," Mac replied, and prayed that she could fall asleep without Harm beside her.
Harm returned upstairs and climbed into bed, hoping he'd be able to sleep with the other half of his heart sleeping elsewhere.