July 15th
Dear Diary,
"I think me and Draco are going out."
The words echo through my head. The words had just been part of a series of questions that meant nothing to him.
Will you screw me…
Yes…
On a mountain…
Too cold...
On a train…
Too kinky...
In my bed…
Too real…
Will you go out with me…
I'm yours…
I know that this is simply my way of getting over him. I wish it could have been different. I'm tired to falling. I want to be that angel that I once was. I want to save you from your nightmares, just like you saved me from mine… I am so cold now and I don't know how to get warm again. I wanted to be that light that filled that stain glass window in your heart. I have to pick up the glass from my window first or I might hurt myself.
I want to be yours but can we truly live a real life Romeo and Juliet movie? It was too painful to watch. Will it kill me to live it? I don't understand how life could give me so much but separate everything with a wall that I can only see through. I shall never be able to touch you or to feel your warmth against my body. Life is too real for something like that. Desire flows through me but I must deny you. You can't let me fulfill it. Life won't let me live it.
Each year that passes shows me more of what you want to be. You want to be good but those stupid chains hold you back. When will you finally be able to break them? You are held back by what your father's vows. Is it fair that you must suffer as he does? Please push away all of this. I'll be your Juliet, even if it is just for awhile. Our tragedy might have to end at one time but my love never will. I will play on this stage each night and I'll practice my lines each day. They might be cheap but believe them while I'm with you for they can only last so long.
It's just a small bell but it knocks me out of my senses. I am Ginny Weasley. I have to be stronger than this. I will play as the Juliet but when the curtain falls I'll be waiting for my standing ovation. This can't last so I won't fall for you. At least I'll try not too…
Night falls quickly as I move through each deserted corridor… When will I finally see you? The darkness does you well but I want to see light upon your face… I want to pull away your mask and touch the skin underneath. If only my friends could see you as I do. I know the demons of your past and I know how they haunt you… I'll fight them away with the power you never had. I'll sacrifice myself to see you live. Oh how I long to feel you. Please don't stray away again.
Your Juliet,
Ginny Weasley