It was the funniest thing, for the longest time I had always pictured myself with Will. It wasn't exactly funny, but it's odd at how someone can hold on to an idea for so long. Like the thought of it was so spot-on that there was no way it could be impossible.
Of course, you never seem to factor in the point that some people have no friction. That maybe the things you need in someone, can't be found in him. Naturally people don't tell you these things, they allow you to stumble around it casually until you hit that nasty hole of reality and can't help but fall.
But you can always get back up. By yourself, or with the help of another.
I had always pictured myself with Will because I was positive he would be the one that would never ever hurt me. When he did for that first time, I should have realized his blunder and turned around to when it could have been stopped. But some things make you oblivious, like a silly little girlhood notion that he's the one you need.
Like I said before, he was safe. He had a soft look, and you just had to admit that he was indeed, such a dork. But he was Will, cute, soft, adorable, heart breaking Will. Who was too much of a sucker for anyone's good.
Don't get me wrong, Will to this day is still my best friend, but some things just need to be admitted. It's unhealthy to live a life in denial.
The relationship started, and it started, and well, yeah, it's the same, and he's the same, and our talks are still the same, his hugs still feel the same, and his kisses are nice, but not any different, and oh shit. I made a mistake.
Fortunately, this was an agreement on both of our parts. I mean, come one, I was 15, he was 14. How much can we know about our true real feelings when these are close to our first real interactions with them. Love is not blind in some sense, it just needs some testing before it can draw any conclusions.
I don't feel stupid for not feeling any different or not feeling anything deeper with him. And it wasn't a mistake, if we hadn't enacted on our confused battling hormones we might have always questioned what was there, and then of course the sexual tension would build, we would collide at the peak in one night of passion only to find the next morning that whoops, there's no chemistry, and BAM! You're wound up in an unwanted pregnancy.
Basically, we were just saving ourselves. And it's for the better.
I walk down the halls of Sky High with a large smile on my face, today is a bright and happy day. My head is cleared of any clouds of confusion that may have gathered during the day. But, my tests are over, the rain has turned to light, and WHAMMO! Enter Good Mood Layla.
I walk into the cafeteria and look around for my friends. I see Warren sitting at his usual spot and walk over.
I sit down across from him and say "Hey!" Making my smile wider for a second before turning my head down to put my bag on the floor and taking out my paper bag lunch.
He grunts, of course, and resumes back to eating.
"Come on Warren, it's lunchtime, school has been on for like 4 hours, can't you just try and give up monosyllable grunting and succumb into being awake." I logic while pulling out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"You don't succumb into being awake Layla." He says my name chidingly, but his smirk gives him away.
"It's like an oxymoron."
I roll my eyes and kick him slightly under the table "Well if you want to get technical."
If anyone else had kicked him, you can surely guess they would have been fried. But I am a triple threat, you could say. 1. A girl 2. His friend 3. The only person he allows near him, let alone touch. I'm slowly working my way up, starting slow with the legs. But just you wait, pretty soon, I'll be graduating to arm frogging.
He scowls and I smile wide, his scowl deepening as my smile enlarges. Pretty soon I can't help it and I burst into laughter, and for once, his smirk turns to a bit of a smile.
"Wait!" I semi-yell.
"Warren Peace has just smiled, damn, the day I don't wear my camera around my neck!"
He resumes back to his usual hobby of scowling and I take a huge bite of my sandwich.
Our other friends soon come to the table and sit down. Will sits next to me, Maj next to Warren. Zach sits next to Maj and Ethan sits beside me.
"What's going on?" Will asks.
"Varrin yust sbiled!" I say enthusiastically, while Will and just about every other person save Warren, burst into laughter. I chew and swallow and shove Will on the shoulder.
"Shuttup!" I yell and laugh at the same time.
"Warren. Just. Smiled." I enunciated as if speaking to a 5 year old.
"No way!" Zach and Ethan proclaim.
"Yeah!" I shout.
"And you know what the best part is-I wasn't threatening him or anything!" I say, referring to when Warren thinks it's "cute" when I try to threaten him, apparently 'hippies' are not very good when it comes to social interrogating.
The group bursts into chatter with one another, while I look to Warren.
"What?" I deadpan.
"You know I will most likely kill you right?" He says, with a very casual and obvious tone.
"Oh yeah, I know."
"Good." He says, and resumes eating.
"Warren, you shouldn't be so bitter." I mock chide.
"Oh, I'm not bitter. My sinister outlook on life doesn't allow me to follow your conventional ways such as laughing and conforming to social groups."
I sigh and place both hands together "Warren, my friend, I'm afraid you have conformed. As much as that scares you and shocks you. We're the social group that is going to help you through your time of need, such as this denial you seem to have inherited."
I pat his hand and he scowls a little once more, the bell rings to let us cattle know that it's time to move on to our branding classes. I stand up and move in front of Warren.
I move one side of his hair behind his ear "Keep your hair out of your eyes. I'll see you later." I give a half wave as I walk with Ethan and Zach to our next class.
He says bye to me and trudges to his own class.
By the time with my class Maj is flagging me down, I move swiftly across the classroom and sit next to her.
We both take out our homework
"Soo…." She starts.
"Yeah?" I ask, rummaging through my bad for my pencil. Damnit, I had it at lunch, where the hell could I have put it, did I lose it, maybe I left it in….
"When did you find out you had a crush on Warren?"
WAIT! Hold the phone. I sit back up strait and look at her
"Huh?" I ask. Confused. Honest, this is real confusion, what the hell is she talking about?
"Don't pull that on me Layla, you know what I'm talking about." She points out, rolling her eyes as if it's the obvious thing in the world. Gee, I wish she would let me in on it.
"Well Magenta." I start, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes "I'm feeling a little stupid today, would you mind clarifying that for me, seeing as I have no idea in hell what you're talking about."
"Come on Layla, you flirt with him and act like everything he does is your business."
"What are you talking about? He's my friend, he just happens to get along with me."
She sighs and takes out her pen "Layla, did you maybe happen to notice you're the only friend he gets along with."
"Maj, he's got friends this year, ones he actually likes, he just has a hard time admitting it."
"That's not the point Layla." She turns to me and holds one of her arms out "We're his friends, yes I know that, but the two of you together hold some little secret bond or something, he views you differently than he views the rest of us."
When the teacher walks in we stop talking. Probably for the best, I didn't really have a witty dismissive comment for that one.
But you can assume that basically there's one thing that is going over and over in my mind right now.
Shit.
But the thing of it is is that Warren and I are just simply too different be together. He's Warren, the residential misfit, and I'm Layla, the hippie, who is also, kind of, umm, out of place, in this school society.
Shit.
Well, you can pretty much assume that Maj has just screwed me into the ground.
This is so what I didn't need this year.
End Chapter.
A/N: Alrighty, let me know what you thinkee.