**Well guys, another chapter another part of the story, I'm trying to cut
it shorter than the original length that would result in about at least 20
- 25 chapters.so far I'm having no success though.anyway, here is this
chapter! Please read and review!!!**
~*~
~*Lately, I had desperately pondered,
Spent my nights awake and I wondered,
What I could have done in another way to make you stay,
Reason will not teach a solution,
I will end up lost in confusion,
I don't care if you really care as long as you don't go*~
~*~
The dark infinite shades of the sun streaked mildly through the ether, now deep and shaded in deep azure, as we stepped into the parking lot. The grey gravel was painted with silent screams, each looming shadow a step further to pushing me into the deep end of insanity. My hand was still decoratively entwined with Paul's, as it had been all day.much to my displeasure I might add.
He had made it a little task, so he called it, to let everyone share in `our` happiness and love..yeah, right! He told them all that we'd got together one night, he found me while I was getting my ass kicked by a big, meaty guy [I`d like to see him call Maria that to her face..] and in came saint Paul to the rescue, knight in shining armour.if he had, I would have liked to stab him with that sword they carry! Every-time he told it I felt the sickness in me growing and growing, edging towards me almost kicking him or breaking his jaw.just petty stuff, you know?
I didn't though..I hope Jesse appreciates how hard it was not to hurt the bastard! I really do!
I sighed, standing in the middle of infinity with the one guy I hated, yet everybody else seemed to love.typical, huh?
"But I have to study tonight!" I lied, Paul was trying to coerce me into letting him come over, apparently being his girlfriend in name only now also means I have to live up to that name if you know what I mean. I`d tried every excuse in the book, including the pathetically girlish "I have to wash my hair" Dopey laughed at that, mumbling something about the vanity of chicks.
Oh, did I not mention that bit? Yes, my step-brothers were there too..all three of them, just to make it all so much better and they were actually helping Paul instead of their own.well, not exactly Flesh and blood but damn well close enough!
"Well." Paul purred, pulling me into a tight embrace that made me grimace, "I can be your.study buddy" I really didn't like the way he said that, and the way he was looking at me..no, didn't like it at all.
I opened my mouth to speak when Doc - which was quite surprising - spoke up, he had remained quiet the rest of the conversation so everybody turned to look at him, making the tips of his ears flush a gentle red, "Having a study partner is the best assured way to improve your knowledge of the given subject" he said, spouting his young intellectual knowledge, "Your brain power is multiplied and the attitude changes to one of positive, it is really an effective way to get through a lot of work since you don't realise just how much you are doing with a friend there" He looked at the ground after his speech.
Paul grinned, and I cursed under my breath. Damn, run out of excuses.
"Looks like I will see you tonight after all" Paul remarked smugly, gripping my hand so tightly it caused a shiver of pain to erupt on my flesh and I was pretty sure I would have a bruise tomorrow.
He led me - if that is what being forced is now known as - to his car and pushed me into the passenger seat, slipping himself into the other in the process he grinned and I reluctantly buckled up my belt as the engine purred to life and we sped through the streets, world in flashes of anything better than this, which, was pretty much everything.
I sighed, drowning in the music flooding from the speakers in the hope of getting lost in the tune and never returning, even the shadowlands looked good in comparison to this.
~*~
When we reached my house I climbed wordlessly out of the car, what was the point in making some big deal out of it now? What could I do about it? It wasn't like Jesse would just show up and save me this time, he hadn't when I had been threatened the night before.so, if I argued and fought and got in trouble.I was on my own. Oh great.
I sighed, leading the demon-incarnate up the walk to my house, Andy was still at work, doing.well, whatever it was he did [note to self: find out what his job is] and my mom was sitting in the kitchen with a mug of coffee.
At first I tried to sneak past her and up the stairs but she wasn't having any of it, "Suze?" she called out, "Is that you?" I rolled my eyes and grit my teeth as she walked into the main room, dressed impeccably in blue and white she smiled warmly.
"Hi mom" I replied, sounding bored despite my attempts not to, she didn't seem to notice though, she was too busy looking at Paul who had somehow managed to link my fingers with his, he smiled back at her, charmingly.
"Hello Ms. Simon" he greeted her nicely, which made a pleasant change, why couldn't he ever talk to me like that? I sighed, dragging him away, or attempting to drag him away, from my mom's inquiring eye.
"Hello" she replied, turning to face me, big smile on her face, "Is this your boyfriend Suze?"
I growled, or at least tried to but it came out sounding more like a strangled cats meow, "Yes." I finally spat out, trying to hide the venom in my voice, "Mom, this is Paul Slater" I didn't bother introducing them properly, I wasn't in the mood for niceties.she smiled wildly at us both before I said, 2We have to go study now" and I dragged him away and up the stairs to my room - yes, you read that right, my room, well you see where else could I take him without having to at least act interested?
His hand wrapped around my waist as we walked through the door, it slamming shut behind us as he grabbed hold of me and kissed me hard. I felt my knee twitching, wanting desperately to hit him where it hurt but I knew I couldn't.so, resigned, I kissed him back.what else could I do?
His tongue swept through my mouth and I really wanted to bite it, yet, as he had reminded me many many times during the day, if I didn't do exactly what he wanted, I could say bye bye to Jesse, and despite how he felt - or rather didn't feel - about me, I couldn't let him go.
My hands reluctantly wrapped around his neck and he grinned against my lips, I wanted nothing more than to smack that smirk off his face but what could I do? Nothing.nothing at all.oh how much I hated him!
His hands wandered down my sides until they rested on my hips, his fingers slipping under my blouse is when I called the end of this little game.I tried to pull back but he increased his grip on me, holding me close he manoeuvred us to the bed where he pushed me against the mattress, I kicked and hit at him trying to get free but only resulting in him pressing himself harder against my body, his hands somewhere under my blouse as I squirmed and squirmed to get free..the bastard!
"Susannah?!" A deep voice tore him from me and I was glad, that is until I was able to sit up and see the source.Jesse was standing over by the window seat, his face looked pained, more so than I had ever seen him before and I just wanted to say something to make it all better but I knew I couldn't.
"Jesse, I." I began, there wasn't anything I could say to deny what he had seen, or eve make it seem ok because I knew that if I had told Jesse the truth, Paul would mediate him there and then.I met Jesse's eyes briefly, "I..I`m sorry." I murmured and just before he dematerialised I could of sworn I saw something sparkling in his eyes.
Damn.
~*~
~*Lately, I had desperately pondered,
Spent my nights awake and I wondered,
What I could have done in another way to make you stay,
Reason will not teach a solution,
I will end up lost in confusion,
I don't care if you really care as long as you don't go*~
~*~
The dark infinite shades of the sun streaked mildly through the ether, now deep and shaded in deep azure, as we stepped into the parking lot. The grey gravel was painted with silent screams, each looming shadow a step further to pushing me into the deep end of insanity. My hand was still decoratively entwined with Paul's, as it had been all day.much to my displeasure I might add.
He had made it a little task, so he called it, to let everyone share in `our` happiness and love..yeah, right! He told them all that we'd got together one night, he found me while I was getting my ass kicked by a big, meaty guy [I`d like to see him call Maria that to her face..] and in came saint Paul to the rescue, knight in shining armour.if he had, I would have liked to stab him with that sword they carry! Every-time he told it I felt the sickness in me growing and growing, edging towards me almost kicking him or breaking his jaw.just petty stuff, you know?
I didn't though..I hope Jesse appreciates how hard it was not to hurt the bastard! I really do!
I sighed, standing in the middle of infinity with the one guy I hated, yet everybody else seemed to love.typical, huh?
"But I have to study tonight!" I lied, Paul was trying to coerce me into letting him come over, apparently being his girlfriend in name only now also means I have to live up to that name if you know what I mean. I`d tried every excuse in the book, including the pathetically girlish "I have to wash my hair" Dopey laughed at that, mumbling something about the vanity of chicks.
Oh, did I not mention that bit? Yes, my step-brothers were there too..all three of them, just to make it all so much better and they were actually helping Paul instead of their own.well, not exactly Flesh and blood but damn well close enough!
"Well." Paul purred, pulling me into a tight embrace that made me grimace, "I can be your.study buddy" I really didn't like the way he said that, and the way he was looking at me..no, didn't like it at all.
I opened my mouth to speak when Doc - which was quite surprising - spoke up, he had remained quiet the rest of the conversation so everybody turned to look at him, making the tips of his ears flush a gentle red, "Having a study partner is the best assured way to improve your knowledge of the given subject" he said, spouting his young intellectual knowledge, "Your brain power is multiplied and the attitude changes to one of positive, it is really an effective way to get through a lot of work since you don't realise just how much you are doing with a friend there" He looked at the ground after his speech.
Paul grinned, and I cursed under my breath. Damn, run out of excuses.
"Looks like I will see you tonight after all" Paul remarked smugly, gripping my hand so tightly it caused a shiver of pain to erupt on my flesh and I was pretty sure I would have a bruise tomorrow.
He led me - if that is what being forced is now known as - to his car and pushed me into the passenger seat, slipping himself into the other in the process he grinned and I reluctantly buckled up my belt as the engine purred to life and we sped through the streets, world in flashes of anything better than this, which, was pretty much everything.
I sighed, drowning in the music flooding from the speakers in the hope of getting lost in the tune and never returning, even the shadowlands looked good in comparison to this.
~*~
When we reached my house I climbed wordlessly out of the car, what was the point in making some big deal out of it now? What could I do about it? It wasn't like Jesse would just show up and save me this time, he hadn't when I had been threatened the night before.so, if I argued and fought and got in trouble.I was on my own. Oh great.
I sighed, leading the demon-incarnate up the walk to my house, Andy was still at work, doing.well, whatever it was he did [note to self: find out what his job is] and my mom was sitting in the kitchen with a mug of coffee.
At first I tried to sneak past her and up the stairs but she wasn't having any of it, "Suze?" she called out, "Is that you?" I rolled my eyes and grit my teeth as she walked into the main room, dressed impeccably in blue and white she smiled warmly.
"Hi mom" I replied, sounding bored despite my attempts not to, she didn't seem to notice though, she was too busy looking at Paul who had somehow managed to link my fingers with his, he smiled back at her, charmingly.
"Hello Ms. Simon" he greeted her nicely, which made a pleasant change, why couldn't he ever talk to me like that? I sighed, dragging him away, or attempting to drag him away, from my mom's inquiring eye.
"Hello" she replied, turning to face me, big smile on her face, "Is this your boyfriend Suze?"
I growled, or at least tried to but it came out sounding more like a strangled cats meow, "Yes." I finally spat out, trying to hide the venom in my voice, "Mom, this is Paul Slater" I didn't bother introducing them properly, I wasn't in the mood for niceties.she smiled wildly at us both before I said, 2We have to go study now" and I dragged him away and up the stairs to my room - yes, you read that right, my room, well you see where else could I take him without having to at least act interested?
His hand wrapped around my waist as we walked through the door, it slamming shut behind us as he grabbed hold of me and kissed me hard. I felt my knee twitching, wanting desperately to hit him where it hurt but I knew I couldn't.so, resigned, I kissed him back.what else could I do?
His tongue swept through my mouth and I really wanted to bite it, yet, as he had reminded me many many times during the day, if I didn't do exactly what he wanted, I could say bye bye to Jesse, and despite how he felt - or rather didn't feel - about me, I couldn't let him go.
My hands reluctantly wrapped around his neck and he grinned against my lips, I wanted nothing more than to smack that smirk off his face but what could I do? Nothing.nothing at all.oh how much I hated him!
His hands wandered down my sides until they rested on my hips, his fingers slipping under my blouse is when I called the end of this little game.I tried to pull back but he increased his grip on me, holding me close he manoeuvred us to the bed where he pushed me against the mattress, I kicked and hit at him trying to get free but only resulting in him pressing himself harder against my body, his hands somewhere under my blouse as I squirmed and squirmed to get free..the bastard!
"Susannah?!" A deep voice tore him from me and I was glad, that is until I was able to sit up and see the source.Jesse was standing over by the window seat, his face looked pained, more so than I had ever seen him before and I just wanted to say something to make it all better but I knew I couldn't.
"Jesse, I." I began, there wasn't anything I could say to deny what he had seen, or eve make it seem ok because I knew that if I had told Jesse the truth, Paul would mediate him there and then.I met Jesse's eyes briefly, "I..I`m sorry." I murmured and just before he dematerialised I could of sworn I saw something sparkling in his eyes.
Damn.