AN: Hey guys, sorry it's been so long since I updated, it's just I'm kind of ill at the moment and I've had to have tests done and all that other medical stuff. I apologise for the delay and know how anxious you all are to read it* sniggers* yeah right, so here it is. This chapter isn't very good in my books but that's maybe because I'm running out of inspiration for this fic…oh well, let me know what you think and if I should continue or not. Thanks, as always, ~*Jennifer*~

Life's Kiss

By strawberry_miow

Chapter 14 - Don't wait for Destiny…

There's not enough room in this world for my pain
Signals crossed and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost…

The paper trembled in my fingers, tears pricking the back of my eyes threatening to fall. But I didn't care. It was as if reading those few sentences in that letter had completely tipped my world upside down and, to be honest, it had. Jesse was leaving, the only person I had ever really loved was leaving me - but not just on a temporary basis, oh no, once he went that was it. Until I died of course, and being who I was, I seriously doubted I would make it into heaven to see him.

"No…" I whispered, turning teary eyes onto Father Dom, "He can't leave!" I protested, my voice raspy from the feelings bubbling inside, "You can't make me do this…"

He looked at me with somewhat of a sympathetic expression, cerulean eyes weighted by heavy brows knit together, "Susannah, I'm not the one who wants you to do anything…this is for Jesse…" I gulped, he was right, not that that fact made it any easier though. My heart felt numb, my whole body aching with some sort of emptiness and I felt completely hollow.

"If this is what he wants Susannah, you know you have to let go, don't you?" his voice was unusually calm and I felt like screaming, Hello, life crisis here! But I didn't think it would go down too well, if you know what I mean. I took a few deep breaths, trying to control the sense of shock flooding my veins and willing with all my might for the pain to go away.

"I know…" I whispered, "I knew it would happen someday I just…never expected it to be so soon" I thought that Jesse would move on one day, yes, one day in the year…2086 or something, not now. I never imagined him actually wanting to leave either, I always thought sometime he would just figure out what was keeping him here and then poof, for lack of a better expression. It was all just too much to handle.

Father Dom simply nodded, fondling that packet of cigarettes he always had for when things got tough. Funny how those things always seemed to have a tendency to revolve around me.

"When?" I asked suddenly, surprising even myself. I don't know why but for some reason it seemed important, "When's the exorcism?"

He rubbed his temples, a notion I noticed he only ever did when he was growing impatient, "Now Susannah…you know you have to let him do this--"

"Please Father Dom, I just want to say goodbye properly…" yeah, that was true, of course. I was hoping that I would show up and Jesse would be all surprised and with it being his last moments on this planet he would call out `Querida, I love you` and I would go `I love you too` and he would stop the exorcism and run to me for a big smooch-fest. Likely, I know, but a girl's got to dream doesn't she?

He sighed, a long deep breath echoing around the room as if he knew he would lose, "Tonight…" he murmured, "Here at the school"

With that I stood up, smiling weakly, "Thank You" I said before running out of the door, I didn't tell him this of course, but my plans involved going home and looking through a certain big black book that just happened to be school property. Maybe it had some sort of `How to stop you loved one from being exorcised` section.

Or maybe not.

~*~

The house was quiet as I stepped through the door, which was understandable with everybody either at school or at work. Well, apart from me of course, yet I wasn't meant to be there. But technicalities…right? That big dog of ours barked as I eased the door shut, walking through the main room he ran up to me and I patted him on the head, just so he would be quiet of course. At least he was no longer hounding Spike or Jesse. Although only one of them was there now though…

I gulped past that thought as I ran up the stairs, it was already two in the afternoon by the time I`d managed to get home. First I had to find Dopey and Sleepy to tell them I didn't need a ride home, then I had to actually get out of school without being noticed. You really do not want to know how I managed to do it. Trust me on this one.

As I walked into my rooms, my eyes automatically darted to the thick black book on my bed. The cover was sprinkled with sunlight from it's position and it looked so inviting…as if I should just curl up and read it, forgetting about everything else. The tears that pricked my eyes told me otherwise though as I walked over to it, perching on the edge on my bed as I began to flick through the pages.

I could have just stolen the exorcism book… I mused to myself, Then they wouldn't be able to exorcise him…Do they even have an exorcism book? I shook my head, the last I remembered of exorcisms was Father Dom telling me I wasn't allowed to do anymore involving blood. That had really put a damper on my day…

"Elixer`s….Energy….Energy transfer…" I mumbled as I read through the index page, "Exorcisms!" I smiled as I turned to the page. "The most ample and effective type of exorcism is that of the catholic way, no sacrificial instruments are necessary and the subject…" I trailed off, groaning, it was just about different types of exorcisms, typical! Nothing at all on how to stop one…my romantic hopes and dreams were dashed in a second.

With a sigh I began to flick through the other pages, hoping maybe there was something under another category, my heart thumping in my chest in anticipation and fear. If I didn't find something…I gulped, then it was Goodbye Jesse.

I found that the book was quite useful in terms of mediating, it had everything from the best approaches to troublesome ghosts to the top ten ways to kick ghost butt, it was like a haven to me. Of course, a Jesse-less one if there was nothing of use in this particular area. I only wished I`d had this book when dealing with the whole Maria ice-bitch situation.

Suddenly, my eyes froze on a page. The bright red lettering calling out to my bleeding heart, I traced over the words with my fingers, just to make sure it was real and not some weird, tormenting dream. "Life's Kiss…" I whispered to myself, so there was a way to bring him back! I knew it!!

My eyes were drew to the bold font in the centre, yet again in blood red ink, what looked to be some sort of rhyme… I whispered it softly, just to hear the words:

" By the power of one

By the power of three

Under the goddess

If it's meant to be

Give me a sign

To the other half of my soul

Show me the way

Let time take its toll"

"Suzie?" my mom called, drawing me away from my reading, "Suzie are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm up here mom" I yelled back, just a little bit frustrated. Come on, you would be too if you had found the way to be with the one you loved and you couldn't find out how because your mom was calling for you.

"Ok honey, dinner will be ready in five" I froze. We usually had dinner at six-thirty which would make it now…six twenty five, which meant the exorcism would begin in precisely thirty five minutes which made me…late!!

Slamming the book shut I literally jumped up off my bed and walked over to my window, if I wanted to do this I had to go now and I had to go so my family didn't see me. If that meant skipping dinner and possibly ending up grounded, then so be it. With a gentle tug I opened my window, stepping out into the night I began my journey to the school…

And I feel it like a sickness how this love is killing me
But I would walk into the fingers of your fire willingly
Dance the edge of sanity I've never been this close
In love with your ghost…